StarDestroyer.Net BBS

I have a theory why this movie is so f*cking ultraviolent, and why Stallone is using anti-aging steroids. Obviously he's old, and with age comes impotence.

Now, think about it. Men are penises. And if Stallone can't stand tall with an erect penis, then what kind of a man is he? Nay, he is not! So, therefore, he MUST, by edict of biological and evolutionary law, create the greatest film to compensate for his anatomical deficiency! For he is now flaccid, he must compensate by making a movie where he runs around with .50 caliber fully automatic phalluses, spewing supersonic lead sperm upon people and giving them death! You see that scene where he decapitates that fellow with a machete, obviously a metaphor for a sharpened jungle implement with the general likeness of a phallus, and then straddles a giant machinegun and literally DISINTEGRATES another human being? That is a metaphor for ejaculation.

And why the phallic imagery and the violence, you ask? Because men are incapable of only one thing, something that those of the other gender, those so-called women, can in fact do. That is, give birth, with the womb, and create LIFE! And so, ever since the primordial ages where men had to flee from giant reptilian dinosaurianoid predators, we've had to fashion with our bare hands phallic tools that shoot death upon our enemies and our fellow men! Back then, it was with spears and stones, and now it is with machineguns and howitzers!

With Rambo and other such high-class arts from the RUTHLESS 80s Renaissance, we shed these false vestiges and facades of society, of civilitude and properness, and embrace our evolutionary birth right! By smearing our bodies with mud and feces, by adorning ourselves in ceremonial war paint and dancing ritualistic rituals, and by holding spear and gun and flamethrower in hand while screaming a hoarse war cry to the hunter's moon, whilst being silhouetted by a giant bonfire, do we truly understand the meaning of humanity, life, the universe, and everything!

That is all.