StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Join me, won't you, as I embark on a glorious mission towards the greatest, manliest confection ever conceived.

Tonight was part 1: Candying the Bacon. You heard me. First, you need a few ingredients:



Bacon, and brown sugar. Next you preheat the oven to 400 farenheit (200 celsius).



Then, you lay out your bacon on a pan covered in tinfoil, like so;



And you cover it with brown sugar.





Then, while you're waiting for the oven to get hot, you take pictures of your Star Wars action figures:


(Battle of Hoth, not to scale)

Then, you put the bacon in the oven. Sorry this picture came out blurry.



Then, you let it cook for six minutes, which is enough time to have dinner. I recommend Lean Cuisine deluxe pizza. Its delicious, and $1.80.



After six minutes, open the oven and check your bacon. It should be curling and crisping QUITE nicely.



So, turn the bacon over, and spoon some more sugar over the other side.



Put it back in for another six minutes, and when the time is up, check it out. It should be shiny and golden, and just starting to turn dark.



CAREFULLY take it out of the oven, and put the pieces of bacon on a rack to cool. Be sure to put something UNDER the rack, otherwise you're going to make a mess. Also, keep in mind that molten sugar WILL blister your skin if you're a dumbass.

First piece, delectably golden:


Three pieces!



Once you get them all on the rack, get a spoon and carefully spread any melted sugar from the pan onto the bacon. Just remember not to burn yourself.



When that's done, let the bacon sit and cool, it takes a while. After about 10 minutes, move the bacon around to make sure it won't crystallize to the rack. Let it sit until firm and crisp. Takes a few hours.



Now you have candied bacon, which is the critical, magic-making component in BACON FUDGE. Stay tuned until tomorrow, when I dare try that which was deemed IMPOSSIBLE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

*To be continued...*

Why would you do such a thing?

this is alchemy of a kind kept secret for millenia. he will be expelled from the order for this!

PS: awesome. i'm trying this tomorrow.

MariusRoi wrote:Why would you do such a thing?

My guess is, to experience diabetic shock and cardiac arrest simultaneously

MariusRoi wrote:Why would you do such a thing?

Because, as far as I can tell, nobody has ever developed a recipe for 'bacon fudge', and that's a crying shame.

This is why americans are fat.

Bacon fudge, you say? Well, I am most definitely intrigued by this. Do continue with this endeavour, and prove those nay-sayers wrong.

This looks to be diabetes and heart disease in one convenient and easy to carry package. Now you can see why this would be unhealthy and soon, very nasty fat and sugar encrusted orgy. I hope you enjoy your pig flesh and sugar product. Let us know how bad the fallout will be.

This is almost as manly as chocolate covered venison jerky. Anyone who doesn't agree is a filthy heathen ass, jihad supporting, bright pink communist.

See, something like this would be a HOLY FUCKING SHIT AWESOME part of a big family dinner ham. or just a completely unhealthy but amzingly tasty snack. Or for teasing diabetics.... Either way, nice...

Mr. Coffee wrote: See, something like this would be a HOLY FUCKING SHIT AWESOME part of a big family dinner ham. or just a completely unhealthy but amzingly tasty snack. Or for teasing diabetics.... Either way, nice...

But would the ham be candy-ham all the way through?

Anyway, I'm gonna try this over the weekend.

That looks... delicious. But also very fattening.
eyes salad based sandwich mournfully

So where's this desert? I'm not seeing an arid windswept environment here. I'm seeing sugar covered bacon, dessert.

I was expecting landscape modeling on an epic bacon based scale here, Chewie. You disappoint me.

Edit: Nitpickery aside... Is that Diet Dr. Pepper I spy in the first picture? Quite the juxtaposition. Plus an abomination.

Your ambitions are truly sky high, Chewie.

CaptainChewbacca wrote:

MariusRoi wrote:Why would you do such a thing?

Because, as far as I can tell, nobody has ever developed a recipe for 'bacon fudge', and that's a crying shame.

Iron Chef Micheal Symon of Cleveland once took strips of Bacon and coated them in chocolate, then covered them with almonds. Despite his creepy manaical laugh, the man can do AMAZING things. One trip to his restraunt blew my mind.

See this clip, about four minutesin.

You FOOL!! You've let them know the secrets of the arts!!! The order will fall!! What have you done?!?!?

You're a bachelor, right Chewie?

Some friends of mine once baked chicken cake. It was just a sponge cake with chunks of roasted chicken spread through it, but points for effort.

Crazedwraith wrote:So where's this desert? I'm not seeing an arid windswept environment here. I'm seeing sugar covered bacon, dessert.

I was expecting landscape modeling on an epic bacon based scale here, Chewie. You disappoint me.

Edit: Nitpickery aside... Is that Diet Dr. Pepper I spy in the first picture? Quite the juxtaposition. Plus an abomination.

Diet Dr. Pepper was on sale in the 24-pack. I know its weird, but my momma got me on diet sodas, and now that's really the only kind I drink.

You know, I'm a little surprised that nobody noticed the Miller Lite bucket. It lives on the stove.

You're a goddamn witch and we should burn you at the stake.

Fortunately the brain tumor from the aspartamane in the diet Dr. Pepper will kill you before you invent carbonated bacon or baconated grapefruit.

CaptainChewbacca wrote: Because, as far as I can tell, nobody has ever developed a recipe for 'bacon fudge', and that's a crying shame.

Maybe they did, but had a heart attack on the way to the publisher? It seems like food to speed up your heart and slow it down at the same time may have a positive net effect, much like truck drivers taking stimulants to stay awake and downers to keep 'em from getting too jittery. If the world ends tomorrow, we'll know why.

I picked up one of these a couple weeks ago, mostly out of curiosity.

They're actually very good. Bacony desserts are a concept whose time has come.

Cap'n Chewie's instincts are sound.

Go Chewie!

Iron Chef America has you beat.


Bacon Ice Cream........

Isolder74 wrote:Iron Chef America has you beat.


Bacon Ice Cream........

Yes, many recipes for bacon ice cream exist. I've found ZERO information for competent bacon fudge. Sure, some people just stick cooked bacon in a pan and pour fudge on it, but I aspire to something a bit greater.

That's fucking disgusting. I've lost my appetite just looking at the pictures.

Darth Wong wrote:That's fucking disgusting. I've lost my appetite just looking at the pictures.

I thought you canadians loved sugar on pork products Its bacon with brown sugar, not a fish head covered in hollandaise.

It doesn't look that bad; not like those monstrous cheeseburgers people start threads about sometimes, with the congealed cheese spillingout of the roll.

I quite like lamb chops with mustard and brown sugar, so I'm not instantly repelled.