If it were only true...
Posted: 2003-03-13 09:42pm
StarDestroyer.Net BBS
Get your fill of sci-fi, science, and mockery of stupid ideas
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If it were only true...
http://stardestroyer.dyndns-home.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=15003
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Posted: 2003-03-13 09:56pm
That would be unusual.
Darth Picard.
Darth Picard.
Posted: 2003-03-13 10:08pm
"As you can see, your puny starfleet is no match for my spacetroopers." 
Posted: 2003-03-13 11:08pm
And the best part is, it's more or less true.Jordie wrote:"As you can see, your puny starfleet is no match for my spacetroopers."
Posted: 2003-03-13 11:12pm
More along the lines of:
"Welcome, relatively young Picard. I have been expecting you...You no longer need those...Guards, leave us...his puny phaser is no big deal...I'm looking forward to completing your basic training. In time you will call me Master...eh, why not start now? CALL ME MASTER, BIATCH! Oh, no, my relatively young Starfleet officer. You will find that it is you who are mistaken...about a great many things...Ah, yes, a Federation officer's weapon. Not much like your father's. By now you must know your father can never be turned from the dark side...So will it be with you... wait what am I talking about? I don't even know your father...eh...Perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your Federation starship... Yes,...I assure you we are quite safe from your friends here...What's that? Data will recaliblate the shield phase matrix to correspond with the subspace energy influx modulator, causing subatomic farion radiation to overload the jurispon particle flux manager and allowing local luminal electro magnetic radiation to destabilize the interdimensional energy refraction/dissapation system? Your faith in your technobabble is yours...Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. Your friends up there on Earth are walking into a trap. As is your Star Fleet! It was I who allowed the Federation to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band. An entire legion of my best troops awaits them...Oh...I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive."
"Come, man. See for yourself...From here you will witness the final destruction of the Enterprise, and the end of your insignificant Federation...You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take your Federation weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Sweep me with it. It can't hit me even at this range with an automatic targeting computer! Bwahahahahahaaaa!!!! Give in to your anger. With each passing moment, you make yourself more my servant...It is unavoidable. It is your destiny. You, like your father, are now....mine! .... Oh no, I still don't know your father....damn it, I have to stop doing that!!! As you can see, my relatively young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station. Fire at will Commander. Actually, no. Belay that order. Just use the point defense laser cannons to piss them off and then gradually increase the firepower to scare the bantha poo doo out of them before vaporizing parts of their ship with the heavy turbolasers and then using the super laser. Yeh heh heh....the ol' noggin still works...
"Your ship has lost. And your friends on Earth will not survive. There is no escape, my relatively young apprentice. The Federation will die...as will your friends...Good. I can feel your anger. I am defenseless. Take your weapon! Sweep me down with all your hatred, and your journey towards the dark side will be complete....Wait a minute...he's not Force sensitive! What am I doing with him?! Eh, I'll just string him along and make him feel special before I deep fry his ass."
"Good. Use your aggressive feelings, man! Let the hate flow through you...Good. Good. Good! Your hate has made you powerful. I wonder what's on the HoloNet now....maybe some good Twilek porn....damn it, I think I'll just wrap this up now... Now, fulfill your destiny and take your father's place by my side! You want to join?! Err....uhm...I wasn't prepared for that... Twilek porn!!! No! It's er, uh...a...trick! You playing me for a fool?! I may be senile but I'm not a fool! So be it...dumbass."
"If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed...no, I'm not falling for that trick again....Young fool...only now, at the end, do you understand...Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the dark side. Stop saying you want to join!!! Stop it! STOOOP!!! You have paid the price for your lack of vision! Now, relatively young Picard...you will die."
"Welcome, relatively young Picard. I have been expecting you...You no longer need those...Guards, leave us...his puny phaser is no big deal...I'm looking forward to completing your basic training. In time you will call me Master...eh, why not start now? CALL ME MASTER, BIATCH! Oh, no, my relatively young Starfleet officer. You will find that it is you who are mistaken...about a great many things...Ah, yes, a Federation officer's weapon. Not much like your father's. By now you must know your father can never be turned from the dark side...So will it be with you... wait what am I talking about? I don't even know your father...eh...Perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your Federation starship... Yes,...I assure you we are quite safe from your friends here...What's that? Data will recaliblate the shield phase matrix to correspond with the subspace energy influx modulator, causing subatomic farion radiation to overload the jurispon particle flux manager and allowing local luminal electro magnetic radiation to destabilize the interdimensional energy refraction/dissapation system? Your faith in your technobabble is yours...Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. Your friends up there on Earth are walking into a trap. As is your Star Fleet! It was I who allowed the Federation to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band. An entire legion of my best troops awaits them...Oh...I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive."
"Come, man. See for yourself...From here you will witness the final destruction of the Enterprise, and the end of your insignificant Federation...You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take your Federation weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Sweep me with it. It can't hit me even at this range with an automatic targeting computer! Bwahahahahahaaaa!!!! Give in to your anger. With each passing moment, you make yourself more my servant...It is unavoidable. It is your destiny. You, like your father, are now....mine! .... Oh no, I still don't know your father....damn it, I have to stop doing that!!! As you can see, my relatively young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station. Fire at will Commander. Actually, no. Belay that order. Just use the point defense laser cannons to piss them off and then gradually increase the firepower to scare the bantha poo doo out of them before vaporizing parts of their ship with the heavy turbolasers and then using the super laser. Yeh heh heh....the ol' noggin still works...
"Your ship has lost. And your friends on Earth will not survive. There is no escape, my relatively young apprentice. The Federation will die...as will your friends...Good. I can feel your anger. I am defenseless. Take your weapon! Sweep me down with all your hatred, and your journey towards the dark side will be complete....Wait a minute...he's not Force sensitive! What am I doing with him?! Eh, I'll just string him along and make him feel special before I deep fry his ass."
"Good. Use your aggressive feelings, man! Let the hate flow through you...Good. Good. Good! Your hate has made you powerful. I wonder what's on the HoloNet now....maybe some good Twilek porn....damn it, I think I'll just wrap this up now... Now, fulfill your destiny and take your father's place by my side! You want to join?! Err....uhm...I wasn't prepared for that... Twilek porn!!! No! It's er, uh...a...trick! You playing me for a fool?! I may be senile but I'm not a fool! So be it...dumbass."
"If you will not be turned, you will be destroyed...no, I'm not falling for that trick again....Young fool...only now, at the end, do you understand...Your feeble skills are no match for the power of the dark side. Stop saying you want to join!!! Stop it! STOOOP!!! You have paid the price for your lack of vision! Now, relatively young Picard...you will die."
Posted: 2003-03-14 12:44am
ROFLMAO. Damn that's great.
Posted: 2003-03-14 03:15pm
Hah! 
The Enterprise looks like it's about to crah throught that window, though.
The Enterprise looks like it's about to crah throught that window, though.Posted: 2003-03-15 01:53pm
IRG CommandoJoe wrote:More along the lines of:
"Welcome, relatively young Picard. I have been expecting you...You no longer need those...Guards, leave us...his puny phaser is no big deal...I'm looking forward to completing your basic training. In time you will call me Master...eh, why not start now? CALL ME MASTER, BIATCH!
ROTFLMAO.
FUQ!
"I mean Fire at Commander Will! That bloody Riker's been annoying me ever since he started growing his silly little beard!"IRG CommandoJoe wrote:Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station. Fire at will Commander.
Posted: 2003-03-15 07:39pm
His head is nearly the size of his torso. o_O
Posted: 2003-03-15 10:29pm
Posted: 2003-03-15 11:15pm
That's gonna be one dead Soveirgn.
Posted: 2003-03-16 05:14am
Seconded.Rob Wilson wrote:IRG CommandoJoe wrote:More along the lines of:
"Welcome, relatively young Picard. I have been expecting you...You no longer need those...Guards, leave us...his puny phaser is no big deal...I'm looking forward to completing your basic training. In time you will call me Master...eh, why not start now? CALL ME MASTER, BIATCH!
ROTFLMAO.
FUQ!
Posted: 2003-03-16 03:59pm
Ok I'm going to reveal my ignorance of acronyms now. What does FUQ stand for?
Posted: 2003-03-16 04:13pm
Better edit before the more rabid ASVSers find and kill you. It means Frequently Unasked Questions.IRG CommandoJoe wrote:Ok I'm going to reveal my ignorance of acronyms now. What does FUQ stand for?
Posted: 2003-03-16 04:17pm
*mutter* *grumble*
Posted: 2003-03-16 04:19pm
Now, Roby, calm down. Here, have some donuts.Dalton wrote:*mutter* *grumble*
Posted: 2003-03-16 04:24pm
Then what does FUQ have to do with what Rob Wilson quoted me on?
Posted: 2003-03-16 04:27pm
http://www.daltonator.net/fuq/index.html
It contains a quote archive. He was saying that what he quoted is funny and should be added.
It contains a quote archive. He was saying that what he quoted is funny and should be added.
Posted: 2003-03-17 08:43am
It was worthy of being placed in the FUQ, along with all the other funny stuff said over the years. And it was for the whole thing, I just quoted a little part, rather than the whole thing (carry over from ASVS).IRG CommandoJoe wrote:Then what does FUQ have to do with what Rob Wilson quoted me on?
Posted: 2003-03-20 11:36pm
Aha.....I'm flattered.