Give Me the Chance to Be

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-10-20 09:01am

Give Me the Chance to Be

What can I do to possibly improve this work?

~ver

Kenny_10_Bellys · Post by **Kenny_10_Bellys** » 2003-10-20 10:33am

For a start you can pick a font with decent S and Y characters, they look a bit screwed up and distract you from the content. From a personal perspective on the poetry/song it's a little too one sided for my liking, makes you sound like a stalker or a desperate teenager. There's no offer, only pleading. You aren't saying you are willing to change or make sacrafices that might be needed, only that you want to be everything you think they might need and not what they might actually want. Just my 2p worth.

Trytostaydead · Post by **Trytostaydead** » 2003-10-20 10:42am

Is this for Terminator or something?

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-10-20 11:05am

Kenny_10_Bellys wrote:For a start you can pick a font with decent S and Y characters, they look a bit screwed up and distract you from the content.

Yes I realized this too.. Stupid bitmap fonts.

From a personal perspective on the poetry/song it's a little too one sided for my liking, makes you sound like a stalker or a desperate teenager. There's no offer, only pleading. You aren't saying you are willing to change or make sacrafices that might be needed, only that you want to be everything you think they might need and not what they might actually want. Just my 2p worth.

Eh, it's just my poem. [shrugs] I write what comes to me, y'know.

It is indeed more of a song, now that I look back on it. I don't know why I worte it, or if it was for someone specific or what, but.. yeah.

~ver

salm · Post by **salm** » 2003-10-20 11:29am

the text is too close to the edge of the blue background box. try to set it up that it´s not closer to the edge than the guys foot. on the top set it up so it´s exactly as far away as the guy´s foot.