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Give Me the Chance to Be

Posted: 2003-10-20 09:01am
by haas mark
Give Me the Chance to Be

Image

What can I do to possibly improve this work?

~ver

Posted: 2003-10-20 10:33am
by Kenny_10_Bellys
For a start you can pick a font with decent S and Y characters, they look a bit screwed up and distract you from the content. From a personal perspective on the poetry/song it's a little too one sided for my liking, makes you sound like a stalker or a desperate teenager. There's no offer, only pleading. You aren't saying you are willing to change or make sacrafices that might be needed, only that you want to be everything you think they might need and not what they might actually want. Just my 2p worth.

Posted: 2003-10-20 10:42am
by Trytostaydead
Is this for Terminator or something? :lol:

Posted: 2003-10-20 11:05am
by haas mark
Kenny_10_Bellys wrote:For a start you can pick a font with decent S and Y characters, they look a bit screwed up and distract you from the content.
Yes I realized this too.. Stupid bitmap fonts. :finger:
From a personal perspective on the poetry/song it's a little too one sided for my liking, makes you sound like a stalker or a desperate teenager. There's no offer, only pleading. You aren't saying you are willing to change or make sacrafices that might be needed, only that you want to be everything you think they might need and not what they might actually want. Just my 2p worth.
Eh, it's just my poem. [shrugs] I write what comes to me, y'know. :? It is indeed more of a song, now that I look back on it. I don't know why I worte it, or if it was for someone specific or what, but.. yeah.

~ver

Posted: 2003-10-20 11:29am
by salm
the text is too close to the edge of the blue background box. try to set it up that it´s not closer to the edge than the guys foot. on the top set it up so it´s exactly as far away as the guy´s foot.