Happy May Day, comrades! [56k, beware]
Posted: 2006-05-02 01:29am
Greetings, socialist comrades. I, Chairman EMU, bring you another exciting tale of great socialist struggles for freedom and equality. Today, I shall tell you of the most heroic deeds of our comrades during this most important holiday, May Day. The theme of the year was "equal rights for illegal immigrants," but of course, it did not stop our valorous comrades from using this topic to promote the struggle for revolution. That is what every good socialist is supposed to do, is it not?
My story begins with an announcement. The announcement was on a window. I have seen the sign and, of course, joined with my fellow comrades in their struggle against the imperialist oppressors.
This is the sign that stirred Chairman EMU to action.
Of course, the socialist comrades from the local branch of the International Socialist Organization were already preparing for battle
This sign was made with superior socialist textiles!
Being an environment-loving individual, I of course took the Subway, even though I had to pay money to the capitalist enemy to do so. When I arrived, the comrades were allready assembled. To my dismay, the capitalist reactionary enemy, the Protest Warriors, were nowhere to be seen. Clearly, they were somewhere around the corner, calling that most accursed organization, the INS, for they would clearly find themselves with mucho innocent victims to deport. I was upset, for a day without killing a reactionary class enemy is a day wasted.
From the overabundance of American flags, I almost thought that I was mistaken and it was in fact at a reactionary rally. However, these good comrades have disabused me of the notion.
All in all, there was an extremely large number of illegal comrades today, and that was good because we could do a human wave charge on any reactionary imperialist that appeared in our sights.
During the event, a child asked her father, "Do we really have to be here?" I immediately shot the man through his head for failing to instill suitable revolutionary zeal into his offspring. He is lying bleeding on the ground, and hence not shown in this picture.
The people were shipped in using superior socialist automotive technology!
Praise to the heroic Soviet auto builders!
Great Puerto Rican revolutionary hero Jorge Washinton!
There was mucho noise from trumpets, and drums, and whistles, and chants in español
But still our heroic fighters against capitalism and profiteering continued to fight the great struggle to make a profit by selling newspapers
buttons
even more buttons
books
and flags.
As the great Latin American hero Jorge Washington looked down in approval of such valor
These two comrades have made an excellent suggestion! Instead of America's racist oppressive immigration policy, we should adopt the Mexican immigration policy! To accomplish this, I have recommended that a new set of instructions be distributed to the Order of Red Banner 25th Border Guards Division "The Minutemen" to shoot all immigrants on sight, with the exception of the cases where the immigrant in question is young and female, where they are to rape first, shoot later. By adopting this progressive policy, we will ensure the love and support of all progressive mankind, just as Mexico has. Thank you, comrades, for your glorious contribution to the Cause.
Of course, there were other causes mentioned at the rally, for a rally without a call for revolution is a wasted rally!
I was overjoyed to see a sign in Russian! But, alas, it turned out to be a call for Workers' Equal Rights. I already knew that all workers had a right to be exploited by the capitalist, so I was disappointed.
The terrorists, they are very, very poor.
Yes, remove the troops out NOW! So that Comrade Great Leader Kim Jong Il can finally liberate the South from oppressive capitalistic tyranny!
And, of course, our revolutionary brothers!
"I swear, the bourgeois scum was this big!"- The Great Leader of Camp Casey
You can never go wrong with Red Flags
No, no, Comrade! When I said "look like Marx," that's not the Marx I meant!
This man is a true American! Grant him citizenship NOW!
A Socialist masterpiece in the making
Definitely worth a Stalin Prize
PETA-approved meals.
Da, Comrade!
Comrade Lenin wrote that when the Second Stage of the revolution arrives, it will be marked by the support of the petit-bourgeisie ("The Stages, The Trend, and the Prospects of the Revolution"). Therefore, we must be living in the Second Stage of the Revolution! Hurray!
By the way, if you are ever unsure which stage of the Revolution you're living in, ask Comrade Groucho. He'll know. That, or call Chairman Bob Avakian
Of course, the most heroic reporters of the media were on the job!
Comrade Reporter bringing truthful information to the masses, courtesy of the Ministry of Information.
The Red Army attacks!
We are still unsure if they have less people than they do flags because they ran into a pack of Menshevik scum enroute to the rally, or because it's finals week at the local college.
Of course todays, same as every day, there was a "Farmers Market" going on nearby.
The kulak scum were exploiting the urban proletariat by over-charging them for so called "organic" food. That, of course, was stopped!
Here, a member of the Red Army tries to convince a kulak to stop exploiting the masses and to requistion some food. After the talk, the kulak in question gave up his life of petit bourgeoisie exploitation and promptly joined the local Kolhoz.
Others were using the event to peddle their sick and twisted beliefs. Although I must say that Comrade LaRouche has demonstrated a remarkable willingness to cooperate, despite some "cycle-ogical" problems of his own. We therefore grant him the title of Honorary Comrade.
The Great Leader Comrade Kim Jong Il sends reinforcements! Now, we shall be victorious!
And so we were. With the aid of the ANSWER comrades, we have triumphed over the forces of oppression and occupation and brought freedom and justice to the world. Join us next year's May Day, which will feature such fresh and novel themes as "Bush sucks" "Che Rules" "Communist Revolution is the only Solution," "Resistance is Justified, when the people are occupied: US Out of Iraq, Iran, and Palestine," "End the Racist Death Penalty," and, of course 'Free Mumia"
Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin
My story begins with an announcement. The announcement was on a window. I have seen the sign and, of course, joined with my fellow comrades in their struggle against the imperialist oppressors.
This is the sign that stirred Chairman EMU to action.
Of course, the socialist comrades from the local branch of the International Socialist Organization were already preparing for battle
This sign was made with superior socialist textiles!
Being an environment-loving individual, I of course took the Subway, even though I had to pay money to the capitalist enemy to do so. When I arrived, the comrades were allready assembled. To my dismay, the capitalist reactionary enemy, the Protest Warriors, were nowhere to be seen. Clearly, they were somewhere around the corner, calling that most accursed organization, the INS, for they would clearly find themselves with mucho innocent victims to deport. I was upset, for a day without killing a reactionary class enemy is a day wasted.
From the overabundance of American flags, I almost thought that I was mistaken and it was in fact at a reactionary rally. However, these good comrades have disabused me of the notion.
All in all, there was an extremely large number of illegal comrades today, and that was good because we could do a human wave charge on any reactionary imperialist that appeared in our sights.
During the event, a child asked her father, "Do we really have to be here?" I immediately shot the man through his head for failing to instill suitable revolutionary zeal into his offspring. He is lying bleeding on the ground, and hence not shown in this picture.
The people were shipped in using superior socialist automotive technology!
Praise to the heroic Soviet auto builders!
Great Puerto Rican revolutionary hero Jorge Washinton!
There was mucho noise from trumpets, and drums, and whistles, and chants in español
But still our heroic fighters against capitalism and profiteering continued to fight the great struggle to make a profit by selling newspapers
buttons
even more buttons
books
and flags.
As the great Latin American hero Jorge Washington looked down in approval of such valor
These two comrades have made an excellent suggestion! Instead of America's racist oppressive immigration policy, we should adopt the Mexican immigration policy! To accomplish this, I have recommended that a new set of instructions be distributed to the Order of Red Banner 25th Border Guards Division "The Minutemen" to shoot all immigrants on sight, with the exception of the cases where the immigrant in question is young and female, where they are to rape first, shoot later. By adopting this progressive policy, we will ensure the love and support of all progressive mankind, just as Mexico has. Thank you, comrades, for your glorious contribution to the Cause.
Of course, there were other causes mentioned at the rally, for a rally without a call for revolution is a wasted rally!
I was overjoyed to see a sign in Russian! But, alas, it turned out to be a call for Workers' Equal Rights. I already knew that all workers had a right to be exploited by the capitalist, so I was disappointed.
The terrorists, they are very, very poor.
Yes, remove the troops out NOW! So that Comrade Great Leader Kim Jong Il can finally liberate the South from oppressive capitalistic tyranny!
And, of course, our revolutionary brothers!
"I swear, the bourgeois scum was this big!"- The Great Leader of Camp Casey
You can never go wrong with Red Flags
No, no, Comrade! When I said "look like Marx," that's not the Marx I meant!
This man is a true American! Grant him citizenship NOW!
A Socialist masterpiece in the making
Definitely worth a Stalin Prize
PETA-approved meals.
Da, Comrade!
Comrade Lenin wrote that when the Second Stage of the revolution arrives, it will be marked by the support of the petit-bourgeisie ("The Stages, The Trend, and the Prospects of the Revolution"). Therefore, we must be living in the Second Stage of the Revolution! Hurray!
By the way, if you are ever unsure which stage of the Revolution you're living in, ask Comrade Groucho. He'll know. That, or call Chairman Bob Avakian
Of course, the most heroic reporters of the media were on the job!
Comrade Reporter bringing truthful information to the masses, courtesy of the Ministry of Information.
The Red Army attacks!
We are still unsure if they have less people than they do flags because they ran into a pack of Menshevik scum enroute to the rally, or because it's finals week at the local college.
Of course todays, same as every day, there was a "Farmers Market" going on nearby.
The kulak scum were exploiting the urban proletariat by over-charging them for so called "organic" food. That, of course, was stopped!
Here, a member of the Red Army tries to convince a kulak to stop exploiting the masses and to requistion some food. After the talk, the kulak in question gave up his life of petit bourgeoisie exploitation and promptly joined the local Kolhoz.
Others were using the event to peddle their sick and twisted beliefs. Although I must say that Comrade LaRouche has demonstrated a remarkable willingness to cooperate, despite some "cycle-ogical" problems of his own. We therefore grant him the title of Honorary Comrade.
The Great Leader Comrade Kim Jong Il sends reinforcements! Now, we shall be victorious!
And so we were. With the aid of the ANSWER comrades, we have triumphed over the forces of oppression and occupation and brought freedom and justice to the world. Join us next year's May Day, which will feature such fresh and novel themes as "Bush sucks" "Che Rules" "Communist Revolution is the only Solution," "Resistance is Justified, when the people are occupied: US Out of Iraq, Iran, and Palestine," "End the Racist Death Penalty," and, of course 'Free Mumia"
Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin
