StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Made using Relic Entertainment's Dawn of War-Winter Assault rts.

Chapter 1














This is the result of my first photo-shoot, some months ago. I'm wondering if there's sufficient interest to merit another photo-shoot for a second chapter.

EDIT: Constructive Criticism, of course, is always desired.

So, out of 120 views, 1 person cares enough to vote on the poll. I think that answers that...

I think this is an interesting approach to something close to fanfiction. It would be interesting to see more.

The idea is good but the execution's lacking. The font didn't survie the downsizing all that well, you might want to consider adding better borders around the text balloons and clean up the text position and spacing.

Looks interesting. I'd put the balloons closer to gether, so we can see when two people are talking to each other (comic3.cf3 is the one I am talking about).

Still, looks like an interesting story so far.

As RTS screenshots, the visuals do not allow for much sense of organization, personality, or continuity. The composition of the panels and text don't do anything to help this.

Despite this, the dialogue and narraration are also extremely thin and unengaging; there's no sign of personality to the clunky characters, and the events feels like there's no purpose and hardly constitutes more than setup for a themed photo album. There's simply no material here to make a story, and what is there is really awkward and quite frankly dull.

Off the record, but if this resembles fan-fiction I am reminded why I never read it.

Utsanomiko wrote:As RTS screenshots, the visuals do not allow for much sense of organization, personality, or continuity. The composition of the panels and text don't do anything to help this.

Despite this, the dialogue and narraration are also extremely thin and unengaging; there's no sign of personality to the clunky characters, and the events feels like there's no purpose and hardly constitutes more than setup for a themed photo album. There's simply no material here to make a story, and what is there is really awkward and quite frankly dull.

Off the record, but if this resembles fan-fiction I am reminded why I never read it.

A fair analysis--though this "resembles fan-fiction" in the way a cheap comic strip, which this is, "resembles literature".

There is quite a large quantity of low-quality junk published as fan-fiction. There is also, however, a large quantity of low-quality junk published as literature. The only difference between the two is that a higher percent of fan-fiction is drek, because it's easier to publish.

This does not change the fact that a great deal of fan-fiction (including, I have noticed, the vast majority of that which is written on this board) is of high quality, sometimes rivalling the quality of yearly best-sellers and quite often exceeding the standards of the books published and sold for established universes.

You have, with regard to the comic, hit upon the two greatest problems faced. First, lacking complex and variable visuals, all emotion must be carried with dialogue. But, since our characters are Space Marines, dialogue will naturally be sparce. Even worse, for the same reason, our characters will be devoid of nearly all natural human feelings. I've run into the same problems trying to write stormtroopers: there's just so little personality present to bring out, and the range of emotion is so limited, that characterisation is virtually impossible.