StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Okay, here's a project to keep you busy for a little while: Alternate scenes from TNG eps or movies in which Data behaves abnormally -- abnormally for Data, anyway.

First up is a scene from ST:FC

HOLODECK: Picard and Lily Sloane are being pursued by a pair of drones. Picard activates the control panel.

LILY: What are you doing?
PICARD: Computer, access program Dixon Hi... no, that won't do. Computer, access program Deliverance One.

The holodeck springs to life around them, and suddenly they are standing beside a creek somewhere far from civilization. Two disheveled-looking men dressed in filthy clothes stand before them. But something is wrong...

PICARD: Data? What the hell...

Meanwhile, in ENGINEERING:

Data awakens to find the Borg Queen standing over him as a drone performs an operation on his arm.

DATA: What are you -- (there is a faint click! Data's eyes defocus... refocus... he looks up at the Borg Queen) Hey, baby. What say you cut de rest of these silly sonsabitches loose an' we have us some fun?

BORG QUEEN: :shocked:

DATA: Hell, yes. Mebbe I'll rip your eyes out, skull-fuck yew fer an hour or two afore I slam-dunk yer lumpy melon inta thet thar Warp Core! Whaddya say, sweet darlin'?

BORG QUEEN: :shocked:

I would *love* to see this happen...

(Geordi rings thebell to datas quarters)

Geordi: Hey Data I want to go over these Engineering Logs with you

Data: Come on in Geordi im just finishing up.

Geordi walks in to see Data on top of his cat in a rather comporoising position.

Geordi: Data what in the hell are you doing?!?!?!

Data: I am attempting the human practice called "coitus" after numerous studies of human emotion and behavior I have noticed that sexual relations plays a large part in interpersonal relationships. Spot and I are, what a 21st century human would say, "knocking boots". Seeing as how spot was the only female on board the ship who seemed willing....

Geordi: Data, usually we keep it within our own species though!

Data: Yes that is true, however there have been many occaisions where interspecies relations has produced offspring.

Geordi: But Data, well.....listen theres a difference between say a Vulcan, and your Cat.

Data: How so?

Geordi runs out of his room frustrated....


MAY THIS DELETED SCENE UNDERSCORE THE FUNDAMENTAL BELIEF THAT THERE SHOULD NEVER BE ANY SUCH THING AS A MIXED SPECIES. A SPECIES IS A RACE WHO IS SO GENETICALLY DIFFERENT THAT IT CANNOT PRODUCE OFFSRING WITH ANOTHER SPECIES.