Worst 'Enterprise' episode ever?

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-02-09 01:12pm

Yes, I know we're all tempted to say 'The Whole Damn Series'. However, try to find the utter lowpoint of shittiness, a craphole so dense from which no good writing, direction, or plot can escape, and pinpoint it.

Why does it suck?

I think the worst episode has got to be 'Maurders'. Abso-damn-lutely pathetic. There were *so* many ways to defeat the Klingons, but Archer has to come up with this ridicolously contrived scheme because Lord knows he can't actually hurt anyone. Further, the Klingons had *so* many ways to defeat Archer, but, they failed. Badly.

All technology was thrown out the windows. Transporters? Forget about it. Ship-to-ship combat? Nope.

Military tactics? Hell yeah, hide the gulley and walk furtively to the other side.

Hell, why can't you just dig some fucking trenches and cut the Klingons apart when they beam down? Or beam them into space? Or simply BLOW UP THEIR FUCKING SHIP?

Gargh.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-02-09 01:28pm

Of the ones I've seen, probably the Naussican one, or the season finale/premier.

Dark Primus · Post by **Dark Primus** » 2003-02-09 01:35pm

"Dear Doctor"

I wonder what kind of idiotic messages they are throwing down our throats. Do they really expect us to swallow it?

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-02-09 01:46pm

Dark Primus wrote:"Dear Doctor"

I wonder what kind of idiotic messages they are throwing down our throats. Do they really expect us to swallow it?

Damn it, I forgot that one. Maybe that was a good thing though.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2003-02-09 03:20pm

I think it was "A Night in Sickbay." After that, "Mauraders." Neither one of those, however, was the episode that doomed the series in my eyes. That one was "Shockwave Pt. II," when Hoshi rips off her shirt. In that moment, I realized that ST was never going to be what it once was, unless there were some serious changes to the way that they made the show.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-02-09 03:22pm

The mass genocide from "Dear Doctor" was pretty unbelievable. The horrid strategy of both Archer and Co. and the klingons in "Maruaders" was unforgivable. As was the blantant diregard for continuity in "Minefield" regarding cloaking, and Romulans altogether.

Posbi · Post by **Posbi** » 2003-02-09 04:47pm

Dark Primus wrote:"Dear Doctor"

I wonder what kind of idiotic messages they are throwing down our throats. Do they really expect us to swallow it?

Dear Doctor tops them all. It was the reason I stopped renting the series from my local video store. At least porn is entertaining...

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-02-09 04:54pm

Marauders, the only part that didn't induce vomiting was when the Klingon's finally dropped their swords and drew disrupters. One guy with a modern handgun could have defeated every single person on both sides.

Sektor31 · Post by **Sektor31** » 2003-02-09 07:02pm

A Night in Sickbay destroys all competition.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2003-02-09 07:15pm

I thought that the most recent one was pretty horrible.

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2003-02-09 07:25pm

Rogue Planet, definitely. It wouldn't be so bad if they hadn't completely disregarded any semblance of science...

A FRIGGEN GREEN JUNGLE PLANET IN DEEP SPACE?!

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-02-09 07:28pm

NF_Utvol wrote:Rogue Planet, definitely. It wouldn't be so bad if they hadn't completely disregarded any semblance of science...

A FRIGGEN GREEN JUNGLE PLANET IN DEEP SPACE?!

Which just moves around by itself.

Admiral Johnason · Post by **Admiral Johnason** » 2003-02-09 07:28pm

Shuttle Pod 1 was so stupid.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2003-02-09 08:11pm

Actually, this is very interesting. No one can seem to come to a consensus as to which was the worst Enterprise episode.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-02-09 08:17pm

Master of Ossus wrote:Actually, this is very interesting. No one can seem to come to a consensus as to which was the worst Enterprise episode.

It would probably be easier to come up with a list of the Enterprise episodes that aren't really really bad. Short list though.

paladin · Post by **paladin** » 2003-02-09 09:22pm

nearly every episode of Enterprise!

Solid Snake · Post by **Solid Snake** » 2003-02-10 12:03am

Minfield

Yes! These thin metal plates will somehow protect us from a mult-KT explosion!

The ship got a part of its saucer section blown off, and no one was killed. Riiiiiiiiiiight.

Archer: <snaps fingers> I got it! Why dont we just beam malcom to sickbay?

Malcom: And what, save my life easily? Star Trek has an illustrious history of doing things the hard way!

Solid Snake · Post by **Solid Snake** » 2003-02-10 12:05am

You know, it really saddens me that Crusade was cancelled. It was no where near as good as B5, but 1000's of times better than the crap that stays on the air. (such as Enterprise)
The thing that saddens me even worse is the realization that there probably wont be another B5 series ever again.

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2003-02-10 01:55am

Of the very few I've actually been able to keep my eyes glued to the screen for without being in danger of transmogrifying into stone, I'd say "The Communicator" takes the cake as most idiotic and pathetic.

But as for the worst-ever episode, I think we've yet to have that atrocity aired.

Macross · Post by **Macross** » 2003-02-10 07:45pm

I stopped watching Enterprise half way through the first season...

But, I would have to say the pilot episode "Broken Bow," is the worst. Starting a new series with several major continuity errors is never a good sign.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-02-11 01:12am

Macross wrote:I stopped watching Enterprise half way through the first season...

But, I would have to say the pilot episode "Broken Bow," is the worst. Starting a new series with several major continuity errors is never a good sign.

Pah, Broken Bow was just the beginning. It would have made a mediocre TNG or DS9 episode and a pretty good VOY episode. This series WILL churn out the worst Star Trek episode in history. You can bet your copy of "Threshold" on it. "Spock's Brain" just keeps looking better and better.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-02-11 01:49am

After seeing 10 minutes of the pilot, nearly vomiting, and refusing to watch the show any more, I periodically check in to see what people are saying about "Enterprise". I see yet again that my initial instincts were correct.

Captain tycho · Post by **Captain tycho** » 2003-02-11 01:56am

Darth Wong wrote:After seeing 10 minutes of the pilot, nearly vomiting, and refusing to watch the show any more, I periodically check in to see what people are saying about "Enterprise". I see yet again that my initial instincts were correct.

I did the same thing.
I'm glad I've been spared the brain damage from watching it.... poor sods.

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2003-02-11 02:18am

I watched some of it in the hope that it would get better................. I was trusting in the law of averages and percentages................I`d rather watch a weekday SOAP OPERA Than watch Enterprise

Macross · Post by **Macross** » 2003-02-11 02:19am

RedImperator wrote: Pah, Broken Bow was just the beginning. It would have made a mediocre TNG or DS9 episode and a pretty good VOY episode. This series WILL churn out the worst Star Trek episode in history. You can bet your copy of "Threshold" on it. "Spock's Brain" just keeps looking better and better.

I guess the real question should be "Will their ever be any GOOD episodes of Enterprise?"