Something is seriously wrong with SF Medical Training

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-04-22 08:27pm

In Contagion, or whatever the episode where the Yamato explodes due to poor saftey, a nurse is trying to repair a broken leg. He complains that his little device isn't working. That's right, he's dumbfounded on what to do without technology. When Docotor Polasky has to explain the concept of a fucking splint, he scoffs and calls it crazy!

What the hell is wrong with these people? They can't set a damn brocken leg without technology.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-04-22 08:35pm

Thats what happen when they relie too much on technology,when its time to do real doctors work they`re like a deer in the highbeams.

Do you know if they have a Dr McCoy real medicine 101.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-04-22 08:46pm

Wait, does the episode portray Doctor Polaski or the nurse as being right?

Kerneth · Post by **Kerneth** » 2003-04-22 09:18pm

Pulaski is right. The nurse is clueless about how to do anything without technological assistance.

I shudder to think what SF first aid training is like. Maybe it's a good thing their weapons simply disintegrate redshirts instead of causing nonfatal injuries, saves the officers from having to attempt even minimal medical aid.

Soontir C'boath · Post by **Soontir C'boath** » 2003-04-22 10:02pm

Kerneth wrote:I shudder to think what SF first aid training is like. Maybe it's a good thing their weapons simply disintegrate redshirts instead of causing nonfatal injuries, saves the officers from having to attempt even minimal medical aid.

I think you got it backwards. Due to disintagration, medics do not need to train for first aid injuries

It's either vaporize or stun.

Cyaround,
Jason

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-04-22 10:19pm

I remember that episode. The problem with medical technology in Star Trek is that nurses are little more than medical clerks. They use a little machine to take care of everything, almost like a clerk handing out change.

It would seem only doctors receive any real medical training.

DarthBlight · Post by **DarthBlight** » 2003-04-22 10:27pm

Admiral Kanos, Grand Admiral Thrawn, Lord Wong:

When we conquer the Federation I suggest we instruct our Stromtroopers to aim for the first-aid kits of any medical teams they encounter.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-04-22 10:32pm

DarthBlight wrote:Admiral Kanos, Grand Admiral Thrawn, Lord Wong:

When we conquer the Federation I suggest we instruct our Stromtroopers to aim for the first-aid kits of any medical teams they encounter.

Thats just mean.

Kerneth · Post by **Kerneth** » 2003-04-22 10:50pm

Soontir C'boath wrote:
Kerneth wrote:I shudder to think what SF first aid training is like. Maybe it's a good thing their weapons simply disintegrate redshirts instead of causing nonfatal injuries, saves the officers from having to attempt even minimal medical aid.
I think you got it backwards. Due to disintagration, medics do not need to train for first aid injuries
It's either vaporize or stun.

Cyaround,
Jason

Maybe I'm tireder than I thought, but it seems to me that you said the exact same thing I did. Namely, that medics don't need to train for first aid injuries because victims are either stunned (which I didn't mention, admittedly) or vaporized.

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2003-04-23 01:03am

ehh isssue scatterguns with flechette rounds to all stormtroopers

David · Post by **David** » 2003-04-23 01:32am

Why would they need any knowledge of medicine? That little tricorder does absolutely whatever is needed at the time.

His Divine Shadow · Post by **His Divine Shadow** » 2003-04-23 03:58am

David wrote:Why would they need any knowledge of medicine? That little tricorder does absolutely whatever is needed at the time.

They do everything with tricorders nowdays.

"Tricorder, tell me how to please a woman"
...
"...Mmmhmm, in and then out..."

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2003-04-23 04:00am

Medical training in the Federation is a two minute course. Basically just a "scan with tricorder and give them a hypospray" type thing. Only the EMH programs have any actual training.

generator_g1 · Post by **generator_g1** » 2003-04-23 07:36am

I would imagine that StarFleet Medical gets hundreds of medical malpractice claims per day unless the Federation has banned lawyers...

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-04-23 05:23pm

TNG: Contagion

Pulaski storms past the chastised nurse to where the harried doctor is staring at the broken arm and a shell that isn't doing its job.
DOCTOR: (continuing) The knitter isn't working.
PULASKI: Use a splint.
A beat as the doctor stares uncomprehendingly at Pulaski.
PULASKI: (continuing) Splint. It's a very ancient concept -- two flat pieces of wood or plastic, a bandage. The broken limb is kept immobile.
DOCTOR: That's crazy, that's not practicing medicine.
PULASKI: Oh yes it is. A time-honored way of practicing medicine -- by using your head and your heart and your hands. So jump to it.

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-04-23 05:24pm

David wrote:Why would they need any knowledge of medicine? That little tricorder does absolutely whatever is needed at the time.

I can't possibly see what's wrong with a complete reliance on their technology working perfectly...

Equinox2003 · Post by **Equinox2003** » 2003-04-23 05:40pm

What is all this talk about Fed Doctors 'not knowing' what to do if the
tech fails? I even see it quoted from the episode, Dr. Pulaski knew
full well what to do without any machine.

Ted C · Post by **Ted C** » 2003-04-23 05:52pm

Equinox2003 wrote:What is all this talk about Fed Doctors 'not knowing' what to do if the tech fails? I even see it quoted from the episode, Dr. Pulaski knew full well what to do without any machine.

The other doctor apparently didn't (and the script quote refers to the other person as a doctor, not a nurse).

Dr. Crusher and Dr. Pulaski actually seem to be exceptional doctors in the Federation medical system, since they have studied primitive medical techniques. Dr. Crusher learned the medicinal uses of plants and roots from her grandmother, if I recall correctly (ref. "The Arsenal of Freedom"); no mention of where Pulaski got her training.

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2003-04-23 05:56pm

Pulaski appears to be like Bones (she hates transporters), and therefore uses "primitive" techniques.

EDIT: Look at the quote!

stupid doctor wrote: That's crazy, that's not practicing medicine.

Admiral Johnason · Post by **Admiral Johnason** » 2003-04-23 06:12pm

So when is maediacl calm and sence forgotten by most of the medical personle. In TOS, the doctors seemed to know what to do and how to imporvise.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2003-04-23 07:48pm

generator_g1 wrote:I would imagine that StarFleet Medical gets hundreds of medical malpractice claims per day unless the Federation has banned lawyers...

They did! In the 21st century (Encounter at Farpoint).

(during Q's mock trial)
Picard: ...kill all the lawyers
Q: And it was done.

or something to that effect.

Admiral Johnason · Post by **Admiral Johnason** » 2003-04-23 07:50pm

I hope that they burned every episode of Alley Mcbeal too.

Ajaz50 · Post by **Ajaz50** » 2003-04-23 08:34pm

Standered Medical Training includes "Anciant medacine" such as splints. However many docters and nurses become dependant on machines anyway. Even if they would do it they would have to consult a tricorder anyway because it's needed so little. Knologe of invasive surgary is well known (epasode where they replace Worf's spine) an well as other "anciant" medacines. However they are for the large part shuned. After all, why would you (I mean You Star Wars fans

) Why use Stardestroyers to keep the Empire in line when you could just use a Death Star to blast unobident planets out of exsistinse? Its all about how effective it is. Sure I could put a splint on a broken leg, but why bother if I could instintly heal it with a gadget? (Of corse we all know the joke about that... "What happens when you put one of those things that instintly close wounds on someone's ass? )

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2003-04-24 01:36am

Darth Servo wrote:They did! In the 21st century (Encounter at Farpoint).

(during Q's mock trial)
Picard: ...kill all the lawyers
Q: And it was done.

or something to that effect.

Er, you do know that that could have been reversed at some point, right?

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-04-24 02:19am

I find the fact that the medical personel didn't know how to fix a splint to be insulting. That's not even Medicine, it's basic first aid!! They have that kind of shit in desk references, for God's sake!!

Oh, and they did have lawyers in the 23rd and 24th Century...

EDIT: Forgot to end my first sentence properly, so I fixed it.