Dilbert wakes up and looks over at his 7 of 9 alarm clock
"Resistance is Futile"
"I wonder if a guy like me could ever date Jeri Ryan"
"That too is Futile"
"That does it"
(Dilbert reaches for clock)
"Do not touch me"
"Then how do I turn you off?"
"Trust me, I am already turned off."
"Clocktease"
Jeri Ryan vs. Dilbert
Moderator: Vympel
- Darth Fanboy
- DUH! WINNING!
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Jeri Ryan vs. Dilbert
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
-George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
-George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
- Jason von Evil
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I remember that one, it was rather funny.
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
Dilbert vs Dogbert
Dilbert is going into his bathroom, to take a shower. The shower is fully automated, including voice recognition.
Dilbert: 99 please.
Computer: 99.
Dogbert: (off tot he side) 400.
Computer: -
Dilbert: Nice try, but I programmed it to only recognize my voice.
Dogbert: Well it was worth a shot.
Dilbert: Hey, I'm a cautious person.
Dogbert: Is that why you had training wheels on your bike until you were seventeen?
Dilbert: Fourteen!
Computer: Fourteen.
Dilbert: Yeeeeekkk!!!!! Ninety-nine, ninety-nine, ninety-nine.
The ice slowly melts off Dilbert.
Dilbert: Don't do that.
Dogbert: That is a umb voice for it anyway. Did you get it from a movie, what was it, Something Something A Space Odyssey?
Dilbert: It wasn't something, something, it was 2001 A Space -YEEAAAARRRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Next scene shows Dilbert stepping out of the shower, skin bright red. He puts a towel on, and the towel catches on fire.
Dogbert: n the plus side, you look much cleaner.
I probably remembered it wrong, but it still cracks me up every time.
Dilbert: 99 please.
Computer: 99.
Dogbert: (off tot he side) 400.
Computer: -
Dilbert: Nice try, but I programmed it to only recognize my voice.
Dogbert: Well it was worth a shot.
Dilbert: Hey, I'm a cautious person.
Dogbert: Is that why you had training wheels on your bike until you were seventeen?
Dilbert: Fourteen!
Computer: Fourteen.
Dilbert: Yeeeeekkk!!!!! Ninety-nine, ninety-nine, ninety-nine.
The ice slowly melts off Dilbert.
Dilbert: Don't do that.
Dogbert: That is a umb voice for it anyway. Did you get it from a movie, what was it, Something Something A Space Odyssey?
Dilbert: It wasn't something, something, it was 2001 A Space -YEEAAAARRRGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Next scene shows Dilbert stepping out of the shower, skin bright red. He puts a towel on, and the towel catches on fire.
Dogbert: n the plus side, you look much cleaner.
I probably remembered it wrong, but it still cracks me up every time.
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