Page 1 of 4
Funniest Trek moment for You
Posted: 2004-06-04 02:41am
by JME2
In the course of over 500 episodes and ten feature-length motionpictures, which moment in any of the incarnations of Trek has caused you to laugh the most, to seem the funniest to you?
Posted: 2004-06-04 02:46am
by JME2
For me it's, hands down, O'Brien and Bashir's RAF bit with Quark from Act 1 of
Homefront:
14A INT. QUARK'S
It's a normal crowd. People barely take notice as
O'Brien and BASHIR walk down the spiral staircase,
wearing World War Two-era R.A.F. uniforms, complete
with leather headgear, and in Bashir's case, a silk
pilot's scarf.
O'BRIEN
(to Quark)
Barkeep.
Quark rolls his eyes. He's been through this before
with these guys.
QUARK
So what can I get you two flyboys.
BASHIR
A scotch neat, and a pint o'
bitters for me mate.
O'BRIEN
And be quick about it. The
cabbage crates'll be coming back
over the briny any minute now.
Quark puts the glasses down.
QUARK
All right, all right. I'd hate to
let the "Jerries" strafe that
"green and pleasant land" of yours
while you two were taking time out
for a drink.
BASHIR
No choice. Ritual, you know.
He and O'Brien raise their glasses.
DEEP SPACE NINE: "Homefront" - 11/04/95 - ACT ONE 13A.
14A CONTINUED:
0'BRIEN
To Clive. The best bloke ever to
prang his kite into the Channel.
BASHIR
Stiff upper lip.
O'BRIEN
Hear, hear.
They toast and drink.
QUARK
Now remember what I said about
throwing glasses.
They put the glasses down on the bar.
O'BRIEN
(to Bashir)
So, want to go back up and take
another crack at the Jerries?
Just that way that Alexander Sidding and Colm Meaney deliver it cracks me up everytime.
Posted: 2004-06-04 02:52am
by Stofsk
Too many to localise into one occurance, however some of the lines Spock makes in TOS were dryly amusing.
"The Corbomite Maneuvre"
Bailey: "We humans have this thing called adrenaline sir, it makes us excited."
Spock: "That sounds most inconvenient; have you considered having it removed?"
"Star Trek 3"
Kirk: "Spock mindmelded with you, and transfered his soul into your mind. That's why you've been acting a little weird."
McCoy: "That green-blooded sonofabitch! It's revenge for all those arguments he lost."
And who could forget Garak?
"In the Pale Moonlight"
Garak: "I left him with the distinct impression that if he tried tampering with the door... it may explode."
Sisko: "I hope that was just an impression."
Garak: "It's best not to trifle ourselves with minutiae."
Of course the Garak one gets quoted a lot anyway. It's still funny.
Posted: 2004-06-04 02:58am
by JME2
Yeah the Star Trek III bit is always great; same with V when they try to teach Spock campfire songs.
Posted: 2004-06-04 03:01am
by Stofsk
Just remembered another Garak moment, though it wasn't really a quote. It's just something he does (or to be more precise, something he DOESN'T do).
Quark asks him to assassinate him. So what happens is we see Garak program a number of holodeck simulations of Quark's 'death' and shows it to him, in order to get him to say which one he finds preferable.
Quark is sitting at his bar, enjoying a soup. Suddenly Garak comes out of nowhere, and snaps his head. He turns around and goes to the hidden Quark and asks: "Well, what do you think?"
"Horrible! I don't want that 'snap' to be the last thing I hear."
Garak: "Quark we've gone over everything: you don't want to be poisoned because it tastes too bad. You don't want to be vaporised because you need to leave a body; this of course leaves out explosives. You don't want to be stabbed either because it looks too painful!"
Quark: "Look, I want to die, but I DON'T want to see it coming."
Garak: "Ah! You want to be SURPRISED."
Quark: "THat's it! I want to go to bed, and wake up in heaven, and wonder 'How the hell did I get here?'"
Garak: "Easily accomplished. (Leans in) I promise you, you won't see it coming."
And Quark doesn't see it coming, because Garak just forgets about it.
Posted: 2004-06-04 03:09am
by Sarevok
Omet'iklan: I am First Omet'iklan, and I am dead. As of this moment, we are all dead. We go into battle to reclaim our lives. This we do gladly, for we are Jem'Hadar. Remember, victory is life.
O'Brien: I am Miles O'Brien and I am very much alive. And I wish to stay that way.
Posted: 2004-06-04 03:19am
by JME2
I've got another O'Brien one, this time from
Take me Out to the Holosuite:
BASHIR
What are you eating?
O'BRIEN
I'm not eating, I'm chewing.
BASHIR
Chewing what?
O'BRIEN
Gum. It's traditional. I had
the replicator create some.
BASHIR
And they just... chewed it?
O'BRIEN
They infused the gum with flavor.
BASHIR
What flavor did you infuse it
with?
O'BRIEN
Scotch.
(offers him a stick)
Try it?
Bashir begins chewing away.
BASHIR
(yummy)
Mmmm.
...and from Worf:
SISKO
I didn't think so. So when the
T'Kumbra's captain challenged us
to a contest of courage,
teamwork and sacrifice, I
accepted on your behalf.
WORF
We will destroy them.
Posted: 2004-06-04 04:50am
by Uraniun235
"Cover him, Spock-o. Now listen 'ere, sweetheart, the Federation's moving in. You play ball, we'll cut you in for a piece of the action. You don't, you're out. All the way out, you know what I mean?"
Posted: 2004-06-04 05:38am
by Stofsk
Uraniun235 wrote:"Cover him, Spock-o. Now listen 'ere, sweetheart, the Federation's moving in. You play ball, we'll cut you in for a piece of the action. You don't, you're out. All the way out, you know what I mean?"
Heh. I liked the part where they try driving.
Of course, that episode strained credibility to bursting point, but it was nevertheless very funny.
Posted: 2004-06-04 06:45am
by NecronLord
Checkov's interrogation in ST4 is good...
"'Starfeet...' 'United Federation of Planets...'"
[...]
"If you don't stop playing games with me mister, we're through!"
"We are? May I go now?"
Posted: 2004-06-04 07:22am
by VF5SS
In ST 6 after Kirk has just been kissed by Azetbur and he's looking pretty satified, then McCoy looks over at him and says, "What
is it with you?"
Posted: 2004-06-04 08:00am
by Crazedwraith
JME2 wrote:
...and from Worf:
SISKO
I didn't think so. So when the
T'Kumbra's captain challenged us
to a contest of courage,
teamwork and sacrifice, I
accepted on your behalf.
WORF
We will destroy them.
I prefer another thing Worf said it thta episode. I can't remember the excat phrase but it was sumthing like:
Bashir: Hey he did'nt touch base.
Ezri: What do we do:
Worf: Find him and kill him.
just typical space viking thinking there.
Posted: 2004-06-04 08:15am
by Lord Revan
VF5SS wrote:In ST 6 after Kirk has just been kissed by Azetbur and he's looking pretty satified, then McCoy looks over at him and says, "What
is it with you?"
Do you mean Martia ?
Posted: 2004-06-04 08:20am
by VF5SS
Yeah, the shapeshifting lady type person.
Posted: 2004-06-04 09:19am
by Ubiquitous
Martok's reaction to Worf when he asks him to give Kor a commission in "Once more unto the breach" makes me laugh out loud every time I see it.
Also in the baseball episode: when Sisko tells his basepeople to rattle the batter, Worf shouts out: "Death to the opposition!"
Posted: 2004-06-04 11:20am
by Enola Straight
STVI:TUC
Scotty says something along the lines of:
"Laddy, I know this ship like the back of me hand!"
He then turns around and walks head first into a bulkhead support beam with a loud metallic clank, knocking himself out.
Posted: 2004-06-04 12:09pm
by Stofsk
That was ST V actually. St VI has a better Scotty moment anyway, accomplished with clever dialogue rather than slapstick buffoonry.
Spock: "Mr Scott, I understand you're having difficulties with the warp drive unit. How much time do you require for repair?"
Scott: (indignant) "There's nothing wrong with the bloody thing!"
Spock: (calmly) "Mr Scott, if we return to spacedock the assassins will surely find a way to dispose of their incriminating footwear, and we will never see the Captain or Doctor McCoy alive again."
Scott: (unhesitating) "Could take weeks sir."
Spock: "Thank you Mr Scott."
Posted: 2004-06-04 12:49pm
by JME2
Stofsk wrote:That was ST V actually. St VI has a better Scotty moment anyway, accomplished with clever dialogue rather than slapstick buffoonry.
Spock: "Mr Scott, I understand you're having difficulties with the warp drive unit. How much time do you require for repair?"
Scott: (indignant) "There's nothing wrong with the bloody thing!"
Spock: (calmly) "Mr Scott, if we return to spacedock the assassins will surely find a way to dispose of their incriminating footwear, and we will never see the Captain or Doctor McCoy alive again."
Scott: (unhesitating) "Could take weeks sir."
Spock: "Thank you Mr Scott."
The better Scotty moment for me in V is when he's making his log about the dificulties in reparing the
1701-A and makes the moneky reference.
Posted: 2004-06-04 02:19pm
by General Zod
hrm. so many . . . .
when Chekov wakes up in ST IV: (can't remember it all, so am paraphrasing)
Kirk: What's your name, rank and serial number?
Chekov: Name? Chekov, Pavel. Serial number? *lists off serial number* Rank? admiwal.
plus in TOS during trouble with tribbles.
Kirk: Scotty? what'd you do with the tribbles?
Scott: Oh, i gave them a very good home sir.
Kirk: Where?
Scott: I gave them to the klingons sir, where they'll be no tribble at all.
Posted: 2004-06-04 02:28pm
by Chardok
STIV:
Spock: "I was trying the hell to communicate."
Posted: 2004-06-04 05:02pm
by LadyTevar
The entire episode "Trouble With Tribbles" is just a delight.
1. The bar-room brawl, with Mudd never getting hit, never spilling his drink.
2. Scotty explaining to Kirk what started the brawl.
3. The (dead) tribbles from the grain storage hitting Kirk in the head.
4. McCoy, Spock, and Scotty explaining what happened to the tribbles.
Posted: 2004-06-04 05:48pm
by StarshipTitanic
The whole episode "Mudd's Women" was great, too. Defeating the androids is priceless.
Posted: 2004-06-04 05:48pm
by Sidious
A couple of great lines from Worf make me crack up every time:
From TNG Season 2:
WORF TO WESLEY: AAAAAAAUUUUURRRGGGGHHHH! That is how the Klingon lures a mate.
WESLEY: Are you telling me to go yell at Cilea?
WORF: No. Men do not roar. *Women* roar.... Then they hurl heavy objects.... And claw at you...!
WESLEY: What does the man do?
WORF: He reads love poetry...! He ducks a lot.
DS9 Season 4 I think:
O'BRIEN: Worf, Keiko's having another baby.
WORF: NOW???
The look on his face is classic, obviously wanting nothing to do with delivering another O'Brien offspring.
Posted: 2004-06-04 05:50pm
by Dahak
Qpid. Worf in tights. Hilarious
Starship Mine and Commander Hutchinson. How Picard sneaked away to go riding, and Data smalltalks with Hutchison...
Posted: 2004-06-04 06:56pm
by Gil Hamilton
Q to Worf: "Very funny, Worf. Eat any good books lately?"