Minor script rewrites
Posted: 2002-12-19 10:24am
Some things that I thought would have made the movie more enjoyable.
Well, for me at least......
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DATA
Ladies and Gentlemen and invited Trans-gendered species ...In my study of Terran and Betazoid conjugal rites I have discovered it is traditional to present the happy couple with a gift. Given Commander Riker's affection for archaic musical forms I have elected to present the following as my gift in honor of their conjugation.
If you please, Mister Band Leader, a-one and a-two and..
I like big butts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull up tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes
[imitates] Me so horny! .....
WORF (groans)
Ugghhh ...Rap music...
DATA
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!
[Points to Deanna]
Baby got back!
----------------------------------------
RIKER (V.O. on comm}
Captain, you have an Alpha Priority communication from Starfleet Command
PICARD
Acknowledged.
[Picard activates his desktop viewscreen. Admiral Kathryn Janeway appears on the monitor. Picard recoils in fright nearly spilling his tea.]
PICARD [recovering his composure]
Oh, Admiral Janeway, good to see you.
JANEWAY [oblivious to his reaction]
Jean Luc... How'd you like a trip to Romulus? All expenses paid?
PICARD [mutters]
How would you like to kiss my ass you psychotic freak.
JANEWAY
I'm sorry Jean Luc, what was that?
PICARD [smiles]
Must be subspace interference, Admiral. I said: With or without the rest of the fleet?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
PICARD (to Data)
You have the bridge, Commander. Use all available power to move away from the Scimitar. (to Geordi) Now, Mister La Forge.
GEORDI
Aye, sir.
[Geordi nervously works some controls on his console and Picard dematerializes. Then the transporter panel explodes in a shower of sparks ]
GEORDI [throws his hands in the air]
That's it. Transporters are down.
DATA [thinks for a moment.]
Geordi, isn't it part of your job to fix things on this ship?
----------------------------------------------------
[Data and Geordi stand in a long corridor. The far end of the corridor opens to space. An emergency force field is in place at the end of the corridor.
Geordi operates a tricorder and another force field flickers on around him.
Data looks toward the end of the corridor, readying himself. ]
DATA
What is our approximate distance?
GEORDI (scans with tricorder)
400 meters.
DATA
Thank you.
[Data backs up a little more, preparing to hurl himself into space.]
GEORDI
You know, Data, we've got shuttles just around the corner that.....
DATA
Not dramatic enough. Deactivate the field.
---------------------------------------------
This is one movie in serious need of a MSTing.
Well, for me at least......
--------------------------------------
DATA
Ladies and Gentlemen and invited Trans-gendered species ...In my study of Terran and Betazoid conjugal rites I have discovered it is traditional to present the happy couple with a gift. Given Commander Riker's affection for archaic musical forms I have elected to present the following as my gift in honor of their conjugation.
If you please, Mister Band Leader, a-one and a-two and..
I like big butts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull up tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes
[imitates] Me so horny! .....
WORF (groans)
Ugghhh ...Rap music...
DATA
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!
[Points to Deanna]
Baby got back!
----------------------------------------
RIKER (V.O. on comm}
Captain, you have an Alpha Priority communication from Starfleet Command
PICARD
Acknowledged.
[Picard activates his desktop viewscreen. Admiral Kathryn Janeway appears on the monitor. Picard recoils in fright nearly spilling his tea.]
PICARD [recovering his composure]
Oh, Admiral Janeway, good to see you.
JANEWAY [oblivious to his reaction]
Jean Luc... How'd you like a trip to Romulus? All expenses paid?
PICARD [mutters]
How would you like to kiss my ass you psychotic freak.
JANEWAY
I'm sorry Jean Luc, what was that?
PICARD [smiles]
Must be subspace interference, Admiral. I said: With or without the rest of the fleet?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
PICARD (to Data)
You have the bridge, Commander. Use all available power to move away from the Scimitar. (to Geordi) Now, Mister La Forge.
GEORDI
Aye, sir.
[Geordi nervously works some controls on his console and Picard dematerializes. Then the transporter panel explodes in a shower of sparks ]
GEORDI [throws his hands in the air]
That's it. Transporters are down.
DATA [thinks for a moment.]
Geordi, isn't it part of your job to fix things on this ship?
----------------------------------------------------
[Data and Geordi stand in a long corridor. The far end of the corridor opens to space. An emergency force field is in place at the end of the corridor.
Geordi operates a tricorder and another force field flickers on around him.
Data looks toward the end of the corridor, readying himself. ]
DATA
What is our approximate distance?
GEORDI (scans with tricorder)
400 meters.
DATA
Thank you.
[Data backs up a little more, preparing to hurl himself into space.]
GEORDI
You know, Data, we've got shuttles just around the corner that.....
DATA
Not dramatic enough. Deactivate the field.
---------------------------------------------
This is one movie in serious need of a MSTing.