Steel Cage match: Worf vs. Chewbacca

[Lord Revan]

OK to make this brief, while frail and small for Wookiee, Chewie has the skill, strength and intelegence to make Worf his bitch. The only way I can think of (while still being fair) that Worf could win was if this was Michael Dorn vs. Peter Mayhew.

[Glocksman]

The funniest (and accurate at the same time) commentary I've seen on a fight like this was over at the WWWF grudge match site.
Read it all here.

NOTE: Because of forces beyond our control, the regular writer of this piece, Paul Golba, is unavailable. He was last seen leaving a computer lab cursing "Why don't they use the &%^%$%# transporters! I HATE STAR TREK PLOT HOLES! THIS IS WORSE THAN STAR TREK V!" Filling in this week is fellow Seton Hall alumnus Dick Vitale:
Worf vs. Chewbacca,

BABY! IT'S SHOWTIME! And talk about a mismatch. Worf is WAY out of his league. We're talkin' St. Leo's at Georgetown, Baby! I mean, Worf does great in-conference against other Klingons and holodeck projections. BUT NOBODY LOSES TO KLINGONS AND HOLODECK CHARACTERS! IT MEANS NOTHING! Let's look at the non-confs. He was beat up by a couple of Ferengi in The Last Outpost. He lost to GUINAN on the firing range. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! FERENGI?! GUINAN?! You gotta beat those guys for me, baby! We're talkin' CUPCAKE CITY!

Meanwhile, Chewie is dominating all over. I LOVE THIS GUY! He beats up everybody! He's ripping the arms off droids! He's throwing people out of Scout Walkers with ONE HAND! He beats up stormtroppers IN HANDCUFFS! If he wore clothes, he would be one of my diaper dandies, BABY! DIPSY-DOO, DUNK-A-ROO! BLOWOUT CITY! Worf's headin' for the basketball court in the sky!

NOTE: For the college basketball impaired, we offer this alternative conmentary from 13-time WCW world champion, Ric Flair:

TO BE THE MAN, YOU GOTTA BEAT THE MAN! AND CHEWBACCA *IS* THE MAN! *WHOOOOOOOOoooooooo!*

c/o Paul Golba

[The Silence and I]

Isn't his endoskeleton supposed to be the same stuff they make warship hulls out of? That would suggest he's probably not frail.

His bones aren't frail, but in an angry Wookiee's eyes, I bet his joints are. Even if Riker has to finger a release catch to work Data's arm loose, a Wookiee should have little trouble ripping it completely off.

I highly doubt Riker fingered a catch release--he gave Data a meaningful look and then twisted his arm off. If you think about it if Data's arm can be twisted like that, even if he resists, then his strength is useless for more than just fighting. Steadying a heavy load without being able to brace his wrist's rotation would be comical to see. It makes far, far more sense that Data controls internal clamps which he released for Riker.

Determining how Data's joints would fair depends a lot on the absolute strength of a Wookie with Chewie's build--but a few things are known about Data's construction. His spinal column is designed to deal with "extreme stress." That is not quantifiable, but if something with the strength of 10 + men says that about himself I'd think "extreme" is something big. He offers that as an explanation for not even budging when a Klingon head butts him. If the strength of his neck column is any indication he should be very durable in the physical department (resistence to pointy things is well documented and a different issue).

I wouldn't be sure of that match-up. Sure Chewie's a lot bigger than Data, but let's not forget generally steel>>>flesh.

Absolutely. But I still have serious reservations.

*Wookiee reach. It's hard to get at Chewie when he can keep you at arms' length

This is true, Chewie has the advantage here; Data isn't even 6' tall.

*Data's weight. There's a blurb in "The Most Toys" about the mass of Data's constituent elements. I'm not sure if it was a complete list, but I remember it summed to a paltry figure.

Data masses 90 something kilos if the Startrek Encyclopedia is worth anything.

Couple that with a Wookiee's reach and power, and it should be incredibly easy to move Data (pushing, punching, kicking, throwing--whatever).

I agree here; I've farted around with people who have 50 pounds on me but comparable strength (I'm 150 pounds) while they couldn't outright over power me they completely decided where I went--I simply didn't mass enough to go toe to toe on any kind of even footing despite nearly identical strength.

*Data's strength. I would contend he's at least as strong as Lal, or 10 times stronger than an ordinary man.

That's certainly awesome, but how might it compare to a Wookiee? I'm inclined to say not all that well, but in truth I'm not sure. An in-depth look at Chewie's strength could be interesting. I only wish I knew how to quantify his killer back-hand slap in "lifting" terms.

Same here, I'd love to quantify that. For comparison Data has tossed men of stature similar to that one-handed across greater distances. It was a grab-throw, not a slap, but he was not trying to kill and didn't appear to exert himself (his face contorts when he is struggling physically).

*Durability of Data's "shell." So his bones are made of duranium *shrugs* That's nice, but how thick is his outer layer? Could it resist DBW--deformation by Wookiee?

Neither Data nor Lore ever bothered to strike each other in "Datalore," instead prefering phasers, room-spanning throws, and using cargo crates as weapons.

In short, I suspect Data's too short, too light, not strong enough and probably not resilient enough to take on Chewie.

I expect he is resilient enough that this isn't a fight-deciding attribute. He is certainly not tall enough or heavy enough to be on equal footing there, so it becomes a matter of strength.

One huge advantage Data could have is grip: he can deform a pistol barrel between his thumb and pointer finger in sort order. If he were to obtain a good grip on Chewie's wrist or arm he could perhaps crush the bones ala George in "Of Mice and Men." Or throttle him or something worse and very painful. Really I'd like to quantify Chewie's strength before putting more thought into this.






Anyway, back on topic...

Worf stands no chance.
All the same, some Klingons demonstrate strength well beyond human norms; Kurge--very short Klingon of small stature--holding Kirk--rather tall, rather fat man at the time--clear of the ground at arm's length for several seconds. Worf--lifts a man and then proceeds to throw him--all with one hand. These are some of the best ones, but it is also very true that many Klingons are no stronger than a man, and never stronge enough to compete with Chewie.