Non-standard ways to kill a Trek ship

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2002-12-15 04:21pm

Darth Wong wrote: I wouldn't exactly call that "fixed". What idiot would design a ship so that one man armed with nothing but a handgun, whatever handguns are in that universe, can destroy the entire ship? And how long is "some time?"

In all fairness to Trek, antimatter is volatile enough that one can't expect a warp core to stay in one piece under fire that can at least vaporize/disintigrate/dissapear cubic meters of rock. Excessive reactivity should be low enough that the whole goddamn ship doesn't go up, but having the warp core itself be damaged under phaser fire is perfectly reasonable. I wouldn't expect a reactor on a naval vessel to withstand fire from a tank gun.

Crossover_Maniac · Post by **Crossover_Maniac** » 2002-12-16 02:51am

data_link wrote:Fact: Trek ships can't survive if their computers malfunction.
Fact: In the Star Trek universe, computers are unable to deal with simple logical contradictions like "Everything I say is a lie."

Therefore: You can destroy a Trek ship by telling it that everything you say is a lie.

That only works if Kirk does it, and his shirt has to be ripped too

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-12-16 03:44am

Beam the cast of most Web Comics onto the ship.

If Torg & Riff can take out a Fed ship, then just about anyone can.

Although Bun-Bun would just be being mean, to the Alpha Quadrant Powers.

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Post by **Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman** » 2002-12-16 05:43am

Install Windows (TM) on their main computer.

The computer hangs, and the whole ship goes boom.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2002-12-16 08:26am

Enlist with Star Fleet becoming an Engineere specialist, Then one day sneeze at the warp core causing a warp core breach.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-12-16 08:30am

<Ctrl>-<Alt>-<Delete>

three keys to destroy them all

Post by **Vympel** » 2002-12-16 08:37am

and in the light of the warp core breach bind them?

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-12-16 08:39am

In the Darkest Depths Of Microsoft where Tech Support lies.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2002-12-16 07:22pm

Put Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot on the bridge. The ship will be toast in 5 minutes.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2002-12-16 07:36pm

Teraport Tagon's Toughs onto the bridge.

"Sorry. We don't do 'seek out new life' or 'explore new civilizations'. We do 'hurting people' and 'breaking things'."

Darth Balls · Post by **Darth Balls** » 2002-12-16 08:19pm

Program the computer so that:
if technobabble=yes
then selfdestructsequence=1
goto selfdestructsequence

Moonshadow · Post by **Moonshadow** » 2002-12-17 01:19am

walk up to the warp core and go "BOO!"

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-12-17 01:21am

Moonshadow wrote:walk up to the warp core and go "BOO!"

By that Monsters, Inc. could destroy it just doing their jobs

Post by **Vympel** » 2002-12-17 01:22am

I am anticipating the Monsters Inc versus Star Trek thread on OSF now

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2002-12-17 01:42am

Deactivate the technobabel generator and watch the damn thing fall apart

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2002-12-17 02:44am

Send an EMP pulse and kill the magnetic containment for the anti-matter... KA-BLOOEY!!!

Don't ya just *hate* that active containment system of theirs...?

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-12-17 02:47am

EmperorMing wrote:Send an EMP pulse and kill the magnetic containment for the anti-matter... KA-BLOOEY!!!

Don't ya just *hate* that active containment system of theirs...?

yes but Active conainent is pretty much the only way to do it but they could rely on less computer control and much beter curcuitry

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2002-12-17 03:03am

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:Install Windows (TM) on their main computer.

The computer hangs, and the whole ship goes boom.

Rather late for that, I'm afraid. Federation computers already run on the Windows: The Next Generation OS.

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-12-17 03:50am

Vympel wrote:I am anticipating the Monsters Inc versus Star Trek thread on OSF now

here you gohttp://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?t=8434

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2002-12-17 06:49am

Isolder74 wrote:
EmperorMing wrote:Send an EMP pulse and kill the magnetic containment for the anti-matter... KA-BLOOEY!!!

Don't ya just *hate* that active containment system of theirs...?
yes but Active conainent is pretty much the only way to do it but they could rely on less computer control and much beter curcuitry

True...

At least make it a little more robust...

BenRG · Post by **BenRG** » 2002-12-17 07:09am

EmperorMing wrote:
Isolder74 wrote:
EmperorMing wrote:Send an EMP pulse and kill the magnetic containment for the anti-matter... KA-BLOOEY!!!

Don't ya just *hate* that active containment system of theirs...?
yes but Active conainent is pretty much the only way to do it but they could rely on less computer control and much beter curcuitry
True...

At least make it a little more robust...

I quite liked Mike's idea of a double-failsafe on the containment drums. When the power goes on the containment field, it automatically leads to the drum being blown out of the ship by powerful Rare Earth Element magnets. That is the sort of thing that you get when an engineer thinks about a problem like this...

Gee, Mike? Would you accept the poison challace and become the new technical consultant for Star Trek?

Boba Fett · Post by **Boba Fett** » 2002-12-17 09:07am

Other methods for destroying a Trek ship?

Method name: Smashing hammer

In five steps...

1. Grab the model
2. Place a hammer in one of your hand
3. Lock on target (it's the model not your hand)
4. Smash the hull
5. Get the hell out of the exhibition very fast

There you go...

CNS Sarajevo · Post by **CNS Sarajevo** » 2002-12-17 11:45am

Does anyone remember the TNG episode with the escaped commando, Danar? Even with superhuman abilities, it was amazing that he could disable a starship he'd never seen before with minimal effort. Going by "Heart of Glory", he could've easily destroyed the ship with his hand phaser when he blitzed through engineering if he'd wanted.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-12-17 07:25pm

Replace Federation Computer with a nice SHODAN or HAL 9000.

Incidentally does that mean we get to watch the crew get turned into Zombies while the main computer sings Daisy, Daisy?

XPViking · Post by **XPViking** » 2002-12-18 04:15am

Non-standard ways to kill a Trek ship?

Fiddle around on that stupid holodeck. Create a sentient hologram. Try to establish contact with this new lifeform while in the meantime the hologram runs amok and nearly takes control of the ship. Finally defeat it. Repeat.

Starfleet sometimes is its own worst enemy.

XPViking