What if... Berman & Braga obtain Star Wars license???

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2002-09-01 04:27am

YJK, Stackpole, KJA AND B&B?
This is going to be difficult.
If you need artillery support from the sea, my dreadnought is ready.

Eleas · Post by **Eleas** » 2002-09-01 11:44am

Cpt_Frank wrote:YJK, Stackpole, KJA AND B&B?
This is going to be difficult.
If you need artillery support from the sea, my dreadnought is ready.

Aye! If ye be in need of swordsmen, ye can count on my steel!

Crazy_Vasey · Post by **Crazy_Vasey** » 2002-09-01 05:01pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Now, what is YJK? KJA's inconsistency and B&B's poor writing would make a lethal combination already, so please, don't make it worse!

YJK is the wonderful series where as soon as something goes wrong Luke has "urgent business" to attend to and the Solo brats come along and save the day. I refuse to spend my money on this tripe that they're trying to pass off as Star Wars.

Actually now I think about it that could be applied to the NJO as well and I've spent a fortune on those books d'oh!

Eleas · Post by **Eleas** » 2002-09-01 07:08pm

Crazy_Vasey wrote:
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Now, what is YJK? KJA's inconsistency and B&B's poor writing would make a lethal combination already, so please, don't make it worse!
YJK is the wonderful series where as soon as something goes wrong Luke has "urgent business" to attend to and the Solo brats come along and save the day. I refuse to spend my money on this tripe that they're trying to pass off as Star Wars.

Actually now I think about it that could be applied to the NJO as well and I've spent a fortune on those books d'oh!

I actually kinda like YJK. At least they don't pretend to be adult books, and they're aeons better than the Jedi Academy series...

Evil Jerk · Post by **Evil Jerk** » 2002-09-01 07:18pm

I demand that you cease these evil thoughts!
The very idea of such an unholy alliance is melting my brain!!

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-09-01 07:30pm

It wouldn't be that bad, give them a week or so and the mob assembled out side their offices would beat down the security, and they would be finding no pieces left large then a few cubic centemeters.

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-09-01 09:37pm

Warsies band together in an attempt to kill B&B. They fail due to character shields. Regroup and build a planet killer device that is about to be deployed to prevent the takeover when Trekkies raid the compound and attempt to destroy it. Lt HIT-MAN is sent back in time as a last ditch effort to kill B&B parents before they were born.

Eleas · Post by **Eleas** » 2002-09-02 06:04am

weemadando wrote:Warsies band together in an attempt to kill B&B. They fail due to character shields. Regroup and build a planet killer device that is about to be deployed to prevent the takeover when Trekkies raid the compound and attempt to destroy it. Lt HIT-MAN is sent back in time as a last ditch effort to kill B&B parents before they were born.

He succeeds by eradicating the US. Win-win situation, in other words.

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2002-09-02 11:45am

Well the problem with the
Unholy Alliance of Ultimate Bullshit (TM)
is that KJA will most likely build a 10 km x 10km and 20 km high superfortress building with millions of invincible killer droinds who are armed with quantum phased blast-disruptors made by B&B featuring heavy TL firepower,
and of course that fortress will be completely sealed off, have infinite supplies of everything and is build out of quantum crystaline armor.
ISDs or other capital warships will be useless sice the fortress is Stackpole protected, and at the top of the fortress there will be
The Hall of Final Terror (TM)
where B&B, Stackpole and KJA reside, guarded by the YJK.

It is going to be difficult, even with the Lt on our side.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-09-02 08:06pm

What would they do in there?

Stackpole: Let's make the ISD lasers stop after 500 meters!
B&B: I was thinking 30 million kilometers.
KJA: Come on, people, we don't need consistency, you can do Stackpole's idea in one movie, and B&B's in the other!
KJA: Won't the fans notice?
Stackpole: What fans?
KJA: You know, the people who watch... Oh, now I get it. Our alliance drove them away.

Isn't YJK by KJA?

B&B: Stackpole, by "lasers", do you mean actual lasers?
Stackpole: Yes, although they aren't, as seen in the first two trilogies?
B&B: Who cares? This is the new "Young Jedi Enterprise Knights Squadron"!
KJA & Stackpole: That's sick!
B&B: Would you like to see a clip from the first installment?
Stackpole: I thought I burnt it!
B&B: No, it was so crappy the fire wouldn't accept it!

Think of the TM!

"Bacta is a fliud form of nanobots that heal wounds"

Stackpole: This is my new idea for a ship: The Super-de-duper Star Destroyer. It is 50 miles long, and invincible except fo a weak sop that is exploited.
KJA: I was thinking one Padawan learner could move it into a star.
Stackpole: Farfetched, and inconsistent! Excellent!

B&B: I think we need to improve on the movie.
Stackpole: How?
B&B: The plot is too good, there's not enough technobabble, and nobody in thbe movie has bigger than an "E" cup!
Stackpole: With CGI, the latter can be fixed.
B&B: And there's too much consistency!

KJA: Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
Priest: Tell me, what have you done?
KJA: I decided to be in the new "B&B: with KJA and Stackpole".
Priest: That is evil! Tell me, what good things have you made, Kevin?
KJA: Possibly Jaina Solo, that's about it.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2002-09-02 08:09pm

LOL. It should also be sent through a crack in an event horizon, if you're going to have a Padawan kill it by sending it through somewhere. Maybe they could get one in the Maw Cluster or the Delta Quadrant.

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Post by **Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman** » 2002-09-02 09:41pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:What would they do in there?

Stackpole: Let's make the ISD lasers stop after 500 meters!
B&B: I was thinking 30 million kilometers.
KJA: Come on, people, we don't need consistency, you can do Stackpole's idea in one movie, and B&B's in the other!
KJA: Won't the fans notice?
Stackpole: What fans?
KJA: You know, the people who watch... Oh, now I get it. Our alliance drove them away.

Isn't YJK by KJA?

B&B: Stackpole, by "lasers", do you mean actual lasers?
Stackpole: Yes, although they aren't, as seen in the first two trilogies?
B&B: Who cares? This is the new "Young Jedi Enterprise Knights Squadron"!
KJA & Stackpole: That's sick!
B&B: Would you like to see a clip from the first installment?
Stackpole: I thought I burnt it!
B&B: No, it was so crappy the fire wouldn't accept it!

Think of the TM!

"Bacta is a fliud form of nanobots that heal wounds"

Stackpole: This is my new idea for a ship: The Super-de-duper Star Destroyer. It is 50 miles long, and invincible except fo a weak sop that is exploited.
KJA: I was thinking one Padawan learner could move it into a star.
Stackpole: Farfetched, and inconsistent! Excellent!

B&B: I think we need to improve on the movie.
Stackpole: How?
B&B: The plot is too good, there's not enough technobabble, and nobody in thbe movie has bigger than an "E" cup!
Stackpole: With CGI, the latter can be fixed.
B&B: And there's too much consistency!

KJA: Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
Priest: Tell me, what have you done?
KJA: I decided to be in the new "B&B: with KJA and Stackpole".
Priest: That is evil! Tell me, what good things have you made, Kevin?
KJA: Possibly Jaina Solo, that's about it.

ROTFLMAO

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-09-02 10:02pm

Cpt_Frank wrote:Well the problem with the
Unholy Alliance of Ultimate Bullshit (TM)
is that KJA will most likely build a 10 km x 10km and 20 km high superfortress building with millions of invincible killer droinds who are armed with quantum phased blast-disruptors made by B&B featuring heavy TL firepower,
and of course that fortress will be completely sealed off, have infinite supplies of everything and is build out of quantum crystaline armor.
ISDs or other capital warships will be useless sice the fortress is Stackpole protected, and at the top of the fortress there will be
The Hall of Final Terror (TM)
where B&B, Stackpole and KJA reside, guarded by the YJK.

It is going to be difficult, even with the Lt on our side.

Only by harnessing the raw power of a logic/anti logic reaction can we hope to breach the walls and then storm the fortress. Basically we nee to cram Wong and TOWNMNBS into something like a Binary chemical bomb, and then load that into an oversized AGM-137.

The missile has to be delivered by an F-16 flying straight down this narrow canyon. Only a direct hit on an airshaft leading to the…

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-09-02 10:32pm

*Bean Force Neck Snaps all the dumb people who came up with this unholy allance idea

Seriously Stackpole is NOT that bad, NO where near as bad as KJA or B&B, Thats like saying a Accouant is just as bad as Stalin and Mao

What about those people who wrote Children of the Jedi huh? Or Crystal Star
They are far more deserving of your hate then poor Stackpole(Corran is annoying but hes only ONE annoying charater and besides AA kills off most of the rest and the Gavin/Asyer set-up is pretty darn close to Zahn writing even if the ending craps out in Issards Revenge)

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2002-09-02 11:26pm

I think that some of Stackpole's work is as bad as anything KJA comes up with, but the high end is certainly a hell of a lot better than KJA.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2002-09-03 12:42am

Stackpole's not as bad as Darksaber (boy was that a copout).

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman · Post by **Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman** » 2002-09-06 08:21am

Guys... this horrible thought just came to my mind, and I think it is the **most** horrible thing can happen if B&B acquire Star Wars.

Well, B&B are Trek writers, ain't they? So when they get SW, what's stopping from sending proposal to Paramount in order to.....

...to make a Star Wars vs Star Trek movie, based on and strictly adhered to the story created by none other than:

G R A H A M K E N N E D Y

with DarkStar as technical advisor.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-09-06 09:50am

*This is not the post your looking for

*Wipes everyones minds of the previous post by Kreshna

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2002-09-06 10:11am

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:Guys... this horrible thought just came to my mind, and I think it is the **most** horrible thing can happen if B&B acquire Star Wars.

Well, B&B are Trek writers, ain't they? So when they get SW, what's stopping from sending proposal to Paramount in order to.....

...to make a Star Wars vs Star Trek movie, based on and strictly adhered to the story created by none other than:

G R A H A M K E N N E D Y

with DarkStar as technical advisor.

AARGH!! I hate you!!

Eleas · Post by **Eleas** » 2002-09-06 07:13pm

Master of Ossus wrote:I think that some of Stackpole's work is as bad as anything KJA comes up with, but the high end is certainly a hell of a lot better than KJA.

Yeah. Too bad the high end stuff wasn't written in the SW universe. I actually enjoyed Talion: Revenant and the Dark Glory War. Sure they had their problems, but overall they weren't bad.

Eleas · Post by **Eleas** » 2002-09-06 07:26pm

Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman wrote:Guys... this horrible thought just came to my mind, and I think it is the **most** horrible thing can happen if B&B acquire Star Wars.

I SUMMON THE MODERATORS TO SMITE THIS THREAD!!!!

Mod, heed my call,
see this thread, snip it all,
purge and clean, rinse and squall,
Trekkie plans foil and stall,
may it none else appall.
May it fall -
call the Mod,
call the Bean,
bringsie forth,
words unseen.

[small]Bonus points for whoever recognizes this recitation.[/small]

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2002-09-06 09:35pm

Eleas wrote:I SUMMON THE MODERATORS TO SMITE THIS THREAD!!!!

With a CGI flash of black smoke, Crayz9000 appears within the pentagram that was inscribed by the Warsies for the Rite of Ashk-ICS. He is dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and board shorts.

"After I followed Tim Ness through Youz'net..." Crayz9000 paused, realizing that something was amiss, and looked up. "Huh? Aw, not again. I was just getting to enjoy my vacation in Honolulu. You'd better have a pretty good reason for bringing me here. Well? What have you to say for yourself?"

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-09-06 09:38pm

Rendith Yonder but a mear six or less post above by Kreshna Aryaguna Nurzaman, My Magics can only wipe there memories for so long of that horrible though even now one or two of them begins to remeber and I fear I can not hold back the idioicy for long

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2002-09-06 09:45pm

What? But I liked Portal! I mean, Graham Kennedy is one of the greatest fanfic authors to exist, next to PAUL JACQUES H.JR. They're the heights to which all Star Trek fanfiction writers aspire to.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2002-09-06 11:08pm

That was scary. By the black hells of the Sith, SMITE THIS HORRID IDEA!!!!