100 ISDs vs one Federation laundry ship

Deimos Anomaly · Post by **Deimos Anomaly** » 2002-08-18 05:38pm

Discuss.

Pablo Sanchez · Post by **Pablo Sanchez** » 2002-08-18 05:59pm

The Federation Laundry Tender is forced to surrender its cargo of silken undergarments.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2002-08-18 06:11pm

Pablo Sanchez wrote:The Federation Laundry Tender is forced to surrender its cargo of silken undergarments.

So silky and smooth and soft....

Ahem.

Raxmei · Post by **Raxmei** » 2002-08-18 06:34pm

The ISD crews send over all their laundry to the laundry ship, which has to overload its machines in order to fill the demand. The overload causes a warp core breach, destroying the laundry ship and everyone's clothes. Life on the ISDs suddenly gets more interesting.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-08-18 06:44pm

Lucky my mental defense snaped in place before Raxmei statment got all the way through considering the roughly 90% Male Human Enlistment rate

Raxmei · Post by **Raxmei** » 2002-08-18 06:53pm

Actually, "aggravating" would probably be a better word than "interesting." Everyone only has one set of clothes left, so they'd want to rush straight back to base for replacements. Then they'd have to explain to everyone how a single Fed laundry ship forced three ISDs to retreat.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2002-08-18 06:55pm

Raxmei wrote:The ISD crews send over all their laundry to the laundry ship, which has to overload its machines in order to fill the demand. The overload causes a warp core breach, destroying the laundry ship and everyone's clothes. Life on the ISDs suddenly gets more interesting.

Mr Bean wrote:Lucky my mental defense snaped in place before Raxmei statment got all the way through considering the roughly 90% Male Human Enlistment rate

IRG CommandoJoe · Post by **IRG CommandoJoe** » 2002-08-18 08:24pm

90%? What other aliens are there other than Thrawn and the Noghri?!

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2002-08-18 08:28pm

I guess you missed the "male" part of that statement.

IDMR · Post by **IDMR** » 2002-08-18 09:05pm

Off topic. Thread moved.

IRG CommandoJoe · Post by **IRG CommandoJoe** » 2002-08-19 03:51am

Oh...I guess I did. lol

SPOOFE · Post by **SPOOFE** » 2002-08-19 07:11am

Does the Federation even do laundry? Wouldn't that be too low-tech? Would they prefer to render dirty clothes into their composite atoms and then simply replicate new garments? They can call it "quantum stain-removal flux direction".

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2002-08-19 10:36am

Would be more in character for the federation to replicate new clothes and atomize the old ones.

Imperial Federation · Post by **Imperial Federation** » 2002-08-19 10:45am

Well, er, maybe they have laundry ships that do just that, go from place to place, replicating new clothes and getting rid of the old.
Probably to give the Zakdorn something to do.

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2002-08-19 10:56am

But shouldn't they have laundry/replicating facilities onboard? Building dedicated laundry ships would be very ... idiotic.

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2002-08-19 11:25am

::blink::

A Laundry Wars post and nobody told me?

RayCav of ASVS · Post by **RayCav of ASVS** » 2002-08-19 04:58pm

I started this on the LOTR with Terminators thread as sarcasm, and there was actually someone stupid enough to post a non-ASVS Laundry Wars related topic about it

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2002-08-19 05:14pm

But shouldn't they have laundry/replicating facilities onboard? Building dedicated laundry ships would be very ... idiotic.

Hello? This is the Federation we're talking about. You know, the guys who have civilian families on warships.

IRG CommandoJoe · Post by **IRG CommandoJoe** » 2002-08-20 12:04am

The Feds probably invented clothes that need no cleaning. lol Actually I bet they always wear the exact same thing, except holograms make them appear to be different. The microcomputers imbedded in the lifeform measure every conceviable physical aspects on the surface of beings and change around to simulate old-fashioned clothes, just like what they would have on the holodecks. They could call it the "Coordinated Layers Of Technoillogical Holographic Emitters System," or CLOTHES. Homer would have some fun with this:

(Gets out of bed, eats breakfast, and "gets dressed")
"CLOTHES on."
(Walks out into corridors with spiffy-looking blue and white Federation uniform on)
(Sees Seven of Nine walking in corridor)
"CLOTHES off."
(Poses like he did in the episode where he shot racy pictures for Marge)
(Seven of Nine starts calculating the most efficient way to neutralize the annoyance and draws her phaser)
"CLOTHES on! CLOTHES on!"
(CLOTHES fails to respond to his command, and instead its warp core explodes)
"Oh, Jebus save me!!!"
(Runs away screaming with Seven of Nine shooting phaser at him)

LMSx · Post by **LMSx** » 2002-08-20 06:00am

Cpt_Frank wrote:But shouldn't they have laundry/replicating facilities onboard? Building dedicated laundry ships would be very ... idiotic.

This *is* the Federation we're talking about.

Post by **NecronLord** » 2002-08-20 06:22am

The United Federation of Idiotic Planets

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-08-21 02:08am

1. Imperials board the laundry ship, and come out with all th clothes, chased by security forces.

2. The laundry ship jettisons it's cargo of soiled sumo thongs, and they fly against the bridge of the ISDs, which then collide into each other.

3. (Trekkie Fantasty) The laundry ship destroys all 100 ISDs with 1 phaser blast.

jegs2 · Post by **jegs2** » 2002-08-23 12:35pm

Imperial stormtroopers board laundry ship, find nothing of value, turn over ship to Imperial engineers, who transform it into either a mobile target on which gunners can hone their live-fire skills or transmogrify it into a mobile cantina for off-duty troops.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2002-08-23 05:18pm

I vote for the mobile cantina.

Imperial Federation · Post by **Imperial Federation** » 2002-08-23 05:33pm

Mobile cantina?
Hope they gid rid of the warp core first, I'd sooner suck vacuum than board a ship with that bomb sitting in the middle of it.
Then again, if they make them go, it could be a test of their troop's bravery