Season Primier of Enterprise

[RayCav of ASVS]

Shockwave, Part II

What did everyone think?

[RayCav of ASVS]

BTW, my thoughts....

*coughtypicalstartrekB&Bstupidfuckingtimetravelcopoutcough*

[TheDarkling]

Actually I think they did well - I expected them to go back in time and prevent the colony from being destroyed thus they didnt cop out in a huge way.

Also it was an episode about time travel what did you expect?

[Master of Ossus]

I thought it sucked ass. I thought that the time travel was contrived and ludicrous (especially considering how much Braga had hyped it up). I thought that the combat sucked. I thought that the acting was characteristic for the series, except that Trip and the SF Admiral seemed worse. I thought that the part with Hoshi was UNBELIEVABLY stupid and contrived, and I felt insulted that they would think my intelligence so low that I needed to see her like that (without, actually seeing anything) in order to keep me watching the show.

I also hated the plot holes. I hated Daniels. I hated their alternate timeline. I hated how nothing was explained. I hated how they got Captain Archer back. I hated how the show ended, and I hate T'Pol.

Other than that, the show was pretty good, except when it wasn't.

[RayCav of ASVS]

I thought it sucked ass. I thought that the time travel was contrived and ludicrous (especially considering how much Braga had hyped it up). I thought that the combat sucked. I thought that the acting was characteristic for the series, except that Trip and the SF Admiral seemed worse. I thought that the part with Hoshi was UNBELIEVABLY stupid and contrived, and I felt insulted that they would think my intelligence so low that I needed to see her like that (without, actually seeing anything) in order to keep me watching the show.

I also hated the plot holes. I hated Daniels. I hated their alternate timeline. I hated how nothing was explained. I hated how they got Captain Archer back. I hated how the show ended, and I hate T'Pol.

Other than that, the show was pretty good, except when it wasn't.

yeah, I agree

Of course, that's pretty much sumed up by....

*coughtypicalstartrekB&Bstupidfuckingtimetravelcopoutcough*

[GrandMasterTerwynn]

Shockwave, Part II

What did everyone think?

Damnit, I knew there was a reason I wasn't watching UPN tonight! I went on a two mile walk instead.

[Datana]

Didn't really care for it at all. The way Archer returned was a real copout, the Hoshi fanservice shot was juvenile, and the way the Vulcans acted was typical B&B Trek. I was expecting them to miraculously save the colony and get completely out of trouble with Starfleet on top of all that, though, so it didn't completely live down to my standards. Nothing was ultimately explained or advanced significantly. Namely, it was like the usual Voyager two-parter and nothing to get excited about.

[Spanky The Dolphin]

Hoshi fan service shot? What was it?

[Sea Skimmer]

For those of us who it would seem lucky didn't see it, how about a summery of what happens?

[The Yosemite Bear]

Am I supposed to be glad that the fires have made reception of Fox WB & UPN impossible for the last two months?

Damn still missing SMALLVILLE

[Datana]

Hoshi fan service shot? What was it?

Without going into circumstances, Hoshi crawls through a tight airduct, tries to get out, and rips off the tanktop that she was wearing on a snag in the process. I'd expect a gag like that out of an immature screenwriter going for the cheap thrill, but... oh, wait. This is B&B, so that's par for the course.

[Spanky The Dolphin]

Oh man, that's pretty lame.

[neoolong]

Spoiler alert: Basically Archer and Daniels are in the future and are trying to find out what the fuck they did by screwing around with the Temporal Prime Directive, oh wait that was in Voyager. They screw around in a library with actual books, wow, and we learn that high school kids in Daniel's time get to screw around with time travel. Wow, they must really be intelligent to let hormone driven high school kids have the technology to transport hot chicks to the future to bang or to bet on sports, or to buy stocks. I guess nobody there saw Timecop. Daniels is able through impressive engineering skills and technobabble to create a device that will let him communicate with enterprise. In the meantime T'Pol surrenders and the Suliban take the ship. They then are locked in the quarters, of their own ship while the Suliban look for the Macguffin from part one, and Archer. T'Pol is interrogated where she promptly fesses up to everything though she constantly and illogically I might add, says that time travel is impossible. This is despite the fact that Archer actually brings back information from the future in the last episode, info that he could not have possible come up with by himself. The head Suliban also wants to talk to his boss from the future and tries to figure out a way to do so while his underlings act really stupid. Archer communicates with T'Pol and they form a plan. The Enterprise crew, without anybody actually guarding them is able to escape by having Hoshi crawl through small tubes, hmmm that sounds familiar, and free everybody else, which is actually only the main crew, since nobody else is ever seen except in the distant background near the end of the ep. Reed takes some tech from Daniel's room and gets captured. But wait, it's a setup and the device is used to open a portal so that the Head Suliban can contact his boss. The crew fakes a warp core breach, and they are towed out to explode, who a warp core breach that doesn't actually blow up the ship. Amazing. They go to warp and try to get out, but are followed by the Suliban. But it was all a setup and Archer jumps through the communications device and beats up the Head Suliban, I guess it wasn't just a communicator, but a time transporter also. Archer takes the Head Suliban hostage and forces the Suliban to stop the attack. Archer then blows up the machine and they leave to meet up with Enterprise. Oh yeah, from Archer's dialog I get the feeling that they're going to let the Suliban go, real intelligent. Let's let the leader of a group that tried to kill us multiple times go free. Right. They get the discs back and prove to the Vulcans and Starfleet that the Enterprise was not responsible. The Vulcans still want the Enterprise to return. Archer spouts off some analogy about it taking a long time for humans to grow and that it will take time and we will make mistakes and talks about gazelles which the Vulcans probably have no idea what they are. T'Pol stand up for Archer and says that the Vulcans have also made mistakes like putting a spy station in a sacred monastery. Long story short the Enterprise is allowed to contiune its mission. Oh yeah, the 3600 colonists are still dead, and the people responsible are allowed to get away I guess.
Other stuff: Hoshi gets topless after her shirt gets caught in the tubes. As attractive as I think Hoshi is, totally unneccessary. Archer learns that what he does will at least indirectly cause the formation of the Federation. Also, he learns that the Suliban and the future bosses want him in particular. He also sees a book about the Romulan Star Empire but Daniels keeps him from reading it, which also precludes Archer from learning anything from Daniels about the future about say, the Borg, wormholes, Cardassians, The Founders, or any of a number of helpful pieces of information. Speakin of Daniels, where is he? I mean, Archer is back in the present but he destroyed the communicator after he got out. So is Daniels still stuck in that destroyed future. What the hell. Does anybody with half a mind work on Enterprise. Ah well, all in all, what you would expect from Enterprise

[Patrick Degan]

The moment I saw the scripting credit of Rick Berman and Brannon Braga, it was almost certain that this was nothing more than a warmed-over Voyager episode, and it lived down to form.

The actual plot didn't really matter; since it was just mix-n'match out of the standard B&B template. Just plug in characters and specific enemy, set to High Blend, and pour. But this one was particularly pallid in creative terms. What we saw could very well have been a Voyager episode. Simply take that same basic story, swap Janeway and co. for Archer and co. and there'd be no damn difference. I don't think the Killer Bs are even bothering at a pretense of trying anymore.

People keep telling me that this show is worth watching and enjoyable, but I don't see how. T'pol's robot-like mantra that "the Vulcan Science Directorate has declared that time travel is impossible" passed beyond the moronic on every level. T'pol is supposed to be the goddamned science officer on that bucket, yet she spouts official dogma in answer to the possibility of a scientific phenomena?! And when did the Vulcans adopt the Kryptonian model for deciding the validity of scientific concepts? Their destruction simply proceeds apace; from dogmatism to duplicity to a whole host of attitudes which destroys any notion of these being a logical, rational people.

Was there any doubt that Archer would be getting back to his home timeline? Was there any doubt that things would be set to rights? Just where was the suspense in this burned-in-the-microwave plot?!? Berman and Braga are singlehandedly destroying the entire SF concept of time travel as a dramatic device. If its already a foregone conclusion that the whole danger being faced in the plot is going to be solved before the last commercial, then the story you end up with is just watching rats run a maze. There were no consequences being faced by Archer or Daniels (who is just a cipher, so he really doesn't count) on any level. Federation never existed in the 29th Century because of Daniels' fuckup? Who cares? There isn't even any point at which Archer is going to face a moral crisis over what he has to do; unlike Capt. Kirk, who had to let Edith Keeler die even as he was falling in love with her. Archer's just running his part of the maze. It's cook-book heroism; running wholly by-the-numbers. Suuuuuure he's going to do his damnest to get back to his time! What other choice does the plot offer him? He has no potential stake in the Destroyed Future, does he? (unlike the hero in H.G. Wells' The Time Machine) There's nothing for him there, and what's worse, the immediate existence of his world is not at stake, which is usually one of the more powerful plot-drivers for time travel ("City On The Edge Of Forever", the movies Terminator and Twelve Monkeys). Nor is his own continued existence at hazard of being undone if he doesn't take action (ala Marty McFly in the Back To The Future movies). The upshot is that Archer's escape from a rather unpleasant world resulting from somebody else's fuckup results in things being put to rights as a side-effect. In short, Archer's time travel has all the dramatic consequences of his recovering from Altair Flu. Who cares?

So, Hoshi gets debagged and T'pol is stripped down to her form-fitting tights. Who cares? Nobody who's actually gotten laid, to be certain. Say what you will about the women who appeared in TOS either in the thigh-high miniskirt starship uniforms and go-go boots or the women who sported nothing but green hair and tinfoil/cellophane brassiers or gowns held together by only three strategically-placed pins. TOS' sexuality was mature and the women were actual living, breathing people. TOS was the adult world. Boobyprise (let's give this show its proper name, why don't we?) serves up the pathetic fangeek's notion of what "adult" is. I'll take Nona the Kanutu-woman having the first televised orgasm in "A Private Little War" over Hoshi getting debagged any day. Nona was a power in that TOS episode (and for reasons not confined to the Mako-root orgasm) and furthermore looked like a real woman as opposed to these anorexic pixie elves or silicone chick-droids the Killer Bs find to populate their shows.

And, of course, what Killer B episode could possibly be complete without their patented brand of space action/adventure, which always has the ship running away from aliens kicking its ass in? What an inspring sight we got to see of the mighty Enterprise pulling a Sir Robin and getting saved only because of some outside force coming to their rescue? Sure impresses me of the can-do heroism of our valiant breed of star pioneers out in the final frontier.

BTW, that is what we here call "sarcasm".

Purely by mistiming, I ended up having the tape run out just at that point in the story, and my reaction was "so what"? I don't get to see the ending, but so what? What difference would it have made, really? I don't get any sense that I missed out on anything beyond that point, and am pretty confident that by next week, it'll be back to The Same Old Crap we've been getting from Paramount since the misbegotten day that the USS Voyager blundered her way into the Delta Quadrant. In terms of excitement, drama, and entertainment value, the season premier episode was just there, like so much drying shit on the lawn; not really offensive unless you get too close and catch a whiff of the smell or step in it or put your face into the cloud of blue-bottle flies feasting away on their gourmet repast. It was just...there.

So I missed the ending.

Who cares?

[neoolong]

Actually the ending is important. We get to learn that 3600 people die and the people that are responible get to go free. Woohoo! That's Starfleet justice for ya, let the killers go free. By the way Patrick Degan who did you mean by "anorexic pixie elves?" Was that in relation to Enterprise? I agree with your opinion on T'Pol. I think though that Linda Park is pretty good looking in a natural way. Not fake like Blalock. And on the topless scene you can read my opinion on that in my summary/review.

[Patrick Degan]

By the way Patrick Degan who did you mean by "anorexic pixie elves?" Was that in relation to Enterprise? I agree with your opinion on T'Pol. I think though that Linda Park is pretty good looking in a natural way. Not fake like Blalock. And on the topless scene you can read my opinion on that in my summary/review.

Not just Jolene Blaylock but also Jennifer Lien, one of whose wigs from Voyager they stuck on Blaylock's head, and to a lesser extent Nicole DeBoer, the fill-in Dax for Deep Space Nine's final season. Linda Park does better in the natural beauty department, as you say. One of the sad things is that Blaylock would probably be better in that area herself if they'd let her have her natural hair and features and she'd put just a couple of pounds on herself (though at least she's not in any danger of slipping through a storm-grate like Callista Flockheart).

[neoolong]

Getting a little off topic, but I agree with your points. Though I think that Nicole DeBoer was pretty attractive and natural looking, except for the fact that they padded her chest. She looks pretty good on The Dead Zone, her new show. She didn't seem anorexic and was only like a pixie because she was short. Ah well, that's just my opinion.

[RedImperator]

As a matter of fact, I missed the season premier. As a further matter of fact, I've missed every episode since "Dear Doctor", and I don't intend to see any episode of this series ever again. Why, you ask? Because the day the producers of any series show me a supposedly heroic character letting an entire sentient species die for some bullshit pseudoscientific "genetic destiny" and pass it off as the right thing to do, I'm gone. THat was, in my opinion, beyond the usual B&B fuckery. It was outright evil, passed off as a moral choice because the Hollywood jackoffs writing this piece of drek wouldn't know a moral principal if it raped them in the ass with a dead carp.

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

I liked the season premiere of Enterprise. I seem to be one of the few around here, though...

[neoolong]

Despite what it may seem from my summary, I actually thought it was a better episode of Enterprise than most of the others. Of course considering the level of quality on the other eps, that's not saying much.

[Grand Admiral Thrawn]

Hoshi is topless?

[Tsyroc]

For a few seconds.

[Tsyroc]

I thought the episode was okay. I was disappointed that the Enterprise was firing phase cannons at warp. I think they even said on one of their own episodes that it either wouldn't work or not very well.

Otherwise it was okay.

I thought the brief T'Pol/Archer moments were amusing. Especially when he told her that she did believe in time travel.


I wondered what the heck where they doing when they stripped T'Pol down to her t-shirt and then she conveniently (perhaps I should say obviously) keeps her arms across her chest every time the camera panned back. In an episode that had the other main actress completely lose her shirt, on a show in which T'Pol had a "shower" scene, it just seems obvious when they back off (chicken out) like that. Must have taken too much crap about the "Broken Bow" shower scene?

At times like this I feel like I'm reading a comic book targetted at 13-14 year old boys instead of watching a tv show related to TOS.

[Evil Jerk]

As a matter of fact, I missed the season premier. As a further matter of fact, I've missed every episode since "Dear Doctor", and I don't intend to see any episode of this series ever again. Why, you ask? Because the day the producers of any series show me a supposedly heroic character letting an entire sentient species die for some bullshit pseudoscientific "genetic destiny" and pass it off as the right thing to do, I'm gone. THat was, in my opinion, beyond the usual B&B fuckery. It was outright evil, passed off as a moral choice because the Hollywood jackoffs writing this piece of drek wouldn't know a moral principal if it raped them in the ass with a dead carp.

I agree, that episode was utter bullshit, it made Phlox and Archer look like a pair of psychos just because some cave men's manifest destiny took precidence over the suffering of millions of innocent people.
Another example of B&B style crap writing and creationist psuedoscience (how the HELL do they think a race is SUPPOSED to get a genetic disease?).

As for "Shockwave II", I haven't seen it, but from the sounds of it, it looks to be just the same old claptrap, but..

Archer learns that what he does will at least indirectly cause the formation of the Federation. Also, he learns that the Suliban and the future bosses want him in particular.

Of course! Of course!
B&B's new little crew have to discover or make everything about Star Trek themselves, don't they?
Reed makes forcefields, T'Pol discovers mind melds from the rebel Vulcans, now Archer makes the Federation.

FUCK YOU B&B, you're stupid attempts to manufacture the Enterprise character's importance in the Trek universe as a whole is PATHETIC.

[Enlightenment]

Of course! Of course!
B&B's new little crew have to discover or make everything about Star Trek themselves, don't they?
Reed makes forcefields, T'Pol discovers mind melds from the rebel Vulcans, now Archer makes the Federation.

Smells like Bozo and Bitbrain are trying to do another halfbaked B5 ripoff.

"Hey, look, everything about our lovely superstate was created by a handful of morons who couldn't even outsmart rocks..."

Blech. Makes me glad I've never seen a single episode of Boobyprise.