Funniest thing I've seen all day...

[Praxis]

I saw this on that other vs site in the off topic section...a Star Trek TNG plot generator!

Here's mine :

Star Trek:The Wrath of Warsies

Written By:Praxis

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see Earth being wiped out by a turbolaser bombardment. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are running from fear from stormtroopers. During this scene, Picard complains about how they're not supposed to hit the good guys.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must stop the Warsies. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data falls in love with C-3PO.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving Picard being beaten to a pulp by Stormtroopers in Darth Vader's interrogation room! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that that the Warsies have wiped out the Federation, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to Barclay, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, Robert Scott Anderson, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Robert Scott Anderson is not REALLY that bad, because this villian is a lunatic.

The crew then learns that Trekdom is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'I love you, you love me.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf challenges Darth Vader to a duel, Bat'leth against lightsaber, and loses miserably. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, falls for Darth Vader.

A little later, Data asks R2-D2 to marry him. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the interrogation room on Vader's ship. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, Picard decides to stop Anderson because "the need of the many outweighs the needs of the few". This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Mommy!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that Robert Scott Anderson has a logic fallacy detector! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'Lasers can't penetrate our deflector shield- hey, how'd you do that!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Robert Scott Anderson, turbolasers shred the Enterprise. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Robert Scott Anderson.

Soon, Riker shoots at Robert Scott Anderson. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called Freakazoid. Almost defeated, Robert Scott Anderson, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his logic fallacy detector! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Robert Scott Anderson by calling him a threat to the intelligence of humanity and throwing him out an airlock. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Mike Wong saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with how they're not supposed to hit the good guys. Picard then gives a speech about how annoyed he is with these speeches.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.

http://www.geocities.com/phineasbg/tngplotter.html

Great, eh?

[Rogue 9]

Bleh. I just posted this in Testing. Mine:

Star Trek:Invasion

Written By:Rogue 9

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see Imperial warships transiting a wormhole. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are fleeing in terror. During this scene, Picard complains about the Imperial invasion.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must stop the Imperial Starfleet from performing a Base Delta Zero on Earth. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data notes that the odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field are actually 3720.297 to one.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving the Enterprise engaging and being forced to flee from a pair of TIE fighters! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that that he cannot win against the Empire, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to Grand Admiral Thrawn, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, Palpatine, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Palpatine is not REALLY that bad, because this villian is a Sith Lord.

The crew then learns that Earth is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf gets his ass kicked by stormtroopers. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, gets killed by stormtroopers.

A little later, the stormtroopers laugh at how fun it was to kill Troi. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the woods. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, a conspiracy between Starfleet and Imperial officers forms to keep the Empire and Federation from ever making peace. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'We're fucked!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that Palpatine has a hypermatter reactor! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'Shit, we're all gonna die!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Palpatine, the Enterprise' saucer section is obliterated by turbolaser fire. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Palpatine.

Soon, Riker shoots at stormtroopers. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called the nebulous nebula of nebulosity. Almost defeated, Palpatine, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his hypermatter reactor! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Palpatine by wimping out and having the Alliance do it for him. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Rogue Squadron saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with the Imperial invasion. Picard then gives a speech about how much dying sucks.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.

THE END


Congratulations!
You have now written a Next Generation movie
that's just as good as the ones shown at theaters!
Print this movie out and send it to Rick Berman!

[Agent Fisher]

Mine
Star Trek:BUTTFUCKED!

Written By:Some weirdo

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see Picard singing in the shower. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are at a disco club. During this scene, Picard complains about not getting any.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must get picard some. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data starts making sexual advances on Picard.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving Picard running from Data! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that that data has been switched from straight to homosexual by Darkstar, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to the skirt man., though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, Darkstar, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Darkstar is not REALLY that bad, because this villian well, um, he is just stupid.

The crew then learns that ButtSex 9 is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'How do I live with out you.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf shits himself. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, dies, for no reason.

A little later, Janeway does a strip dance. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the parking. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, Picards yells DAMN YOU KHAN. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Barbra Streisand!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that Darkstar has a box of tissues! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'We are so boned!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Darkstar, a toliet is shown. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Darkstar.

Soon, Riker shoots at the skirt man. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called Buttsex nebula. Almost defeated, Darkstar, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his box of tissues! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Darkstar by shooting him with a phaser. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily the skirt man saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with not getting any. Picard then gives a speech about the danger of drugs.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.

THE END

[KhyronTheBackstabber]

Star Trek:Down the Drain

Written By:Khyron

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see Dogs playing poker. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are watching as a duck kicks Worf in the nuts. During this scene, Picard complains about people wearing starfleet uniforms as he preforms Shakespeare.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must bed without supper. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data crashes due to his Windows based OS.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving something off screen! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that Khyron wants to destroy them all, and steal all their cheese, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to 7 of 9, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, Khyron, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Khyron is not REALLY that bad, because this villain just quit smoking.

The crew then learns that Earth is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'the Oscar Myer hot dog song.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf was kicked in the nuts by the duck again, and this time the duck pisses in his mouth. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, makes out with Dr. Crusher.

A little later, the duck hits Worf in the head with a 2x4, and shits in his eyes. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the plains of Kansas. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, Picard finds out Khyron isn't dead, and screams out his name. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Fuck nuts!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that Khyron has a quantum flux reverberating screwdriver! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'eat phaser beam,...turd face!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Khyron, The Enterprise transforms into a giant mecha. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Khyron.

Soon, Riker shoots at Khyron. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called the Stink Eye nebula. Almost defeated, Khyron, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his quantum flux reverberating screwdriver! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Khyron by flooding Khyrons base with reruns of Voyager, causing Khyron's head to explode. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Wolverine saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with people wearing starfleet uniforms as he preforms Shakespeare. Picard then gives a speech about confusing real life with fantasy.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.

[fgalkin]

Mine pwns all j00

Star Trek:Anal Penetration

Written By:Yefim Galkine

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see the Enterprise falling victim to a warp core breach. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are screaming in horrible pain as they are burned alive. During this scene, Picard complains about losing his ship, his crew, and his anal viriginity to Scooteroid.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must die. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data tries to save the ship and Picard. While singing.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving the Enterprise and Scooteroid's Invisible Pink Unicorn! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that that he's gay, and he is involuntarily attracting Scooteroid who wants to mate with him, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to Marissa Picard, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, Scooteroid, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Scooteroid is not REALLY that bad, because this villian admires Picard, Star Trek, and Berman and Braga .

The crew then learns that The universe is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'OMG! I am slowly being disintigrated by the warp core breach.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf is anally violated by Scooteroid. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, dies horribly in the first scene.

A little later, Scooteroid sees a picture of Mike Wong and shits himself. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the outhouse. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, Picard yells "Scoooooooooter!" as he is being anally penetrated. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'You fuckwad! Turbolasers are clearly lasers!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that Scooteroid has a Scooteroid's penis! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'Trek Wins! OMG!111shiftoneone!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Scooteroid, the Enterprise is humped by Scooteroid's Space Unicorn. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Scooteroid.

Soon, Riker shoots at his own head. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called Trekturd. Almost defeated, Scooteroid, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his Scooteroid's penis! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Scooteroid by biting his penis off. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Mike Wong saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with losing his ship, his crew, and his anal viriginity to Scooteroid. Picard then gives a speech about the pleasures of anal sex.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.

THE END

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

[DarkSilver]

It's a MAD LIBZ!

haven't done one of those in years....

Star Trek:Cockteasers

Written By:Cumstain of 5

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see grunts and howls as a view of Klingon Females in g-strings dance in a Strip Club. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are Picard is getting a blowjob by Beverly. During this scene, Picard complains about always having the same woman give him blowjobs..and how he'd like a peice of Troi.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must Risa. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data Sports his new add-on device, the "Robo Hard-on!" 3000 tm.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving phasers and mini torpedo's exploding around a group orgy! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that Beverly and Troi really only want to have a orgy with Data, the Viagra-Droid, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to the Traveler, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, Assmasterion, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Assmasterion is not REALLY that bad, because this villian didn't get a decent blowjob in his life.

The crew then learns that Earth is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'If you wanna be my lover.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf cant get a hard on seeing a Orion Slave girl naked. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, fingers herself infront of the view screen.

A little later, Data looks at his enhanced schlong, and just grins at Picard and Riker. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the the beach. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, The Dancers from Nimbus III (Star Trek V). This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Shit Faced Cockmaster!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that Assmasterion has a Anti-Viagra Radiation! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'Orgasmic!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Assmasterion, the Deathstar is seen just on the otherside of Risa..... This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Assmasterion.

Soon, Riker shoots at Wesley. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called Spooge Cloud. Almost defeated, Assmasterion, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his Anti-Viagra Radiation! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Assmasterion by anally raping him in the asshole. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Ron Jeremy saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with always having the same woman give him blowjobs..and how he'd like a peice of Troi. Picard then gives a speech about Proper Condom Usage.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.

THE END

[Stark]

Star Trek:Sex Me Up

Written By:Karl Stark

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see a bar brawl. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are drinking heavily. During this scene, Picard complains about being flamboyantly homosexual.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must go to the watchhouse. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data soils his pants.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving lesbians! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that he's a woman in a mans body, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to Eminem, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, Simon, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Simon is not REALLY that bad, because this villian has an alcohol problem.

The crew then learns that the bachelor pad is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'Cult of Personality.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf is impotent. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, gets implants.

A little later, Data trips on E. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the back alley. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, they go to San Fran. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'motherfucker'n biatch!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that Simon has a diesel powered rotary vibrator! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'Fuuuuuuuuuck!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Simon, Picard cross dresses. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Simon.

Soon, Riker shoots at bouncers. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called Lupus. Almost defeated, Simon, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his diesel powered rotary vibrator! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Simon by throwing acid on his perfect face. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Dr Frankenfurter saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with being flamboyantly homosexual. Picard then gives a speech about being a mans man.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.

THE END

Rocky horror picture show? I'll have three.

[Lord Poe]

you guys need to put these in the "Fan Fiction" section of that other site!

[Rogue 9]

you guys need to put these in the "Fan Fiction" section of that other site!

It's already in Off Topic. Miss Manners put it up. Hers involved me as the villain...

[brianeyci]

Star Trek:TOS meets TNG

Written By:Brian

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see Picard and Kirk in a heated debate. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are arguing with the TOS crew. During this scene, Picard complains about Kirk being an old fart.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must the TOS Federation in a time tunnel. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data debates Spock about the status of the Federation and loses.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving Picard and Kirk getting drunk and tusling up! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that Kirk is here to "revive" the Federation, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to a shitload of redshirts, all the ones who died, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, James Tiberius Kirk, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But James Tiberius Kirk is not REALLY that bad, because this villian is good old Captain Kirk trying to fix the Federation.

The crew then learns that The Federation is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'the Federation anthem.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf sees a real Klingon. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, meets a real telepath (Spock).

A little later, Picard laughs at Kirk's ideas, not realizing that banana phasers are the Federation's undoing. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the capital of the Federation, Paris. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, Fights with the music from the Kirk versus Spock match on Vulcan : Dadadum da da da dum da da da dum dum dum da!. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'He's dead Jim!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that James Tiberius Kirk has a TOS hand phaser! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'Holy shit how could we have been so stupid!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop James Tiberius Kirk, TNG redshirts get into a phaser fight with TOS redshirts and lose horribly. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop James Tiberius Kirk.

Soon, Riker shoots at TOS redshirt, and misses. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called Picard's convulted thoughts. Almost defeated, James Tiberius Kirk, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his TOS hand phaser! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills James Tiberius Kirk by trying out the new phasers Kirk gave him, and accidently pulls the trigger. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily his realization that Kirk was right saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with Kirk being an old fart. Picard then gives a speech about how the Federation needs to change to survive (like we didn't know that already).

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.

THE END

[fgalkin]

Mine is the best. It involves Sccoter and anal sex.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

[VT-16]

Star Trek:Redemption

Written By:VT-16
The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see an early 20th century cartoon playing on a viewscreen. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are crawling on the floor, looking for Geordi´s blue contacts. During this scene, Picard complains about his damaged Whack-A-Mole set.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must escort the mysterious alien ambassador Zurklos to a mysterious, uncharted planet. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data finishes baking a cake, but slips and falls face-down on it.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving a plane chase in the Holodeck! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that Zurklos wants to build the galaxy´s biggest monestary by destroying a planet, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to Neelix, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, Zurklos, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Zurklos is not REALLY that bad, because this villian is a diabetic.

The crew then learns that Kremlian II is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'Personal Jesus.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf has his secret diary exposed. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, gets drunk and seduces Wesley.

A little later, a Klingon accidently hits himself with his own bat´leth. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the tundra. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, Troy strips for the henchmen as a trap. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'big, floppy donkey dick!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that Zurklos has a Isokinetic Vaccum Urine Collector! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'Semper Fi, do or DIE!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Zurklos, Klingons fist-fight with Q and win. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Zurklos.

Soon, Riker shoots at Zurklos. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called The Hector Divide. Almost defeated, Zurklos, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his Isokinetic Vaccum Urine Collector! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Zurklos by bashing his head against the Enterprise hull. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Janeway saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with his damaged Whack-A-Mole set. Picard then gives a speech about the dangers of spiritual re-awakening.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.


THE END

[Aquatain]

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see Red Baron in space. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are prodding a dead squirrel with a stick. During this scene, Picard complains about Worfs big feet and lack of Empathy for Squirrels.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must Save the Squirrels. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data Eats the dead Squirrel.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving Diarreah! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that that the plumbing on the Enterprice is substandart, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to Oliver stone (Really!), though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, George Bush, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But George Bush is not REALLY that bad, because this villian Likes Musicals.

The crew then learns that The total population of squirrels is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'Always Coca-cola.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf Has had both his feat chopped of by Picard.. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, Gets drunk,crashes the Enterprice, then takes a bath while she hallucinates.

A little later, a squirrel bites the left ear of Worf . The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the Sewers of Bronx. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, Nothing interresting happens for a long time. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Good gully,them Awful squirrels!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that George Bush has a Remote for a garage-door! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'Crappy Franchise!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop George Bush, Picard flushes the toilet. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop George Bush.

Soon, Riker shoots at Worfs Right ear For no apperant reason. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called Big cloud of crap. Almost defeated, George Bush, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his Remote for a garage-door! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills George Bush by Bending over and unloding a full Barrage of squirrel Diarreah. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily the bell saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with Worfs big feet and lack of Empathy for Squirrels. Picard then gives a speech about Diarreah.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.


THE END


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Lord Poe]

Star Trek:Last Bastion

Written By:Lord Poe

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see Scooter writing on a chalkboard "I wish I was Mike Wong" 100 times. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are racing to the middle of the galaxy at warp 9, and will arrive there in 70 years.. During this scene, Picard complains about Guinan stirring his Earl Grey tea with her penis..

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must investigate a distress signal from a delusional fucktard. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data forcibly rapes Worf, then calls him his "bitch".

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving Scooter wrestling with Lord Edam as he attempts to mount the throne of the "Last Bastion of Trek"! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that that Scooter wants to go back in time and brainwash Lucas into believing his stupid fucking version of Star Wars canon policy, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to Richard Simmons, who joins Data in pulling a threeway with Data's bitch, Worf, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, Scooter, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Scooter is not REALLY that bad, because this villian actually a pathetic loser with delusions of grandeur.

The crew then learns that Star Wars canon is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'Cumdrops Keep Falling On Your Head.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf receives a facial blast of semen from Richard Simmons as Data continues singing. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, feels danger as she is anally mounted by Mike Wong.

A little later, a holographic George Lucas beats Scooter about the face with his penis while screaming, "THE EU IS A VALID PART OF THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE, YOU MISERABLE SHIT_NUGGET!!". The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the vast wasteland that is Scooter's brain. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, the Enterprise time travels to 1960's Earth. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Scooter is a Crack Smoking Donkey Fucker!!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that Scooter has a Jerking-off device for Trekkies who can't possibly find a date! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'Scooter's pussy boys opened a forum for him to post in because he's been kicked out of all the other ones!!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Scooter, Lord Poe bitch-slaps Scooter over and over again. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Scooter.

Soon, Riker shoots at Troi's tits. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called LM-480. Almost defeated, Scooter, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his Jerking-off device for Trekkies who can't possibly find a date! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Scooter by throwing Scooter in the holodeck, where he's buttfucked continually by a horde of George Lucas clones. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Guinan, who offers her penis for Picard to latch on to at the last minute saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with Guinan stirring his Earl Grey tea with her penis.. Picard then gives a speech about the dangers of being a little twat who makes up his own version of canon so he won't have to face the fact that he can't possibly win an argument with Mike Wong..

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.

[Ted C]

Star Trek:Obsession

Written By:Ted Collins

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see an angel-fish shaped starship drifting out of a wormhole. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are attending a holodeck simulation of the Kentucky Derby. During this scene, Picard complains about never getting married..

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must contact a mysterious alien starship. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data discovers he can get drunk on obscure, technobabble chemicals.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving a space battle with Romulans trying to capture the alien ship! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that that the alien commander is on a mission to wipe out Earth in his parallel timeline, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to Sela, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, Trikell, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Trikell is not REALLY that bad, because this villian is sworn to avenge their leader, slain in a tragic "surprise attack" by humans.

The crew then learns that Earth is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf gets his ass handed to him by an alien with a telescoping staff. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, befriends one of the aliens.

A little later, Worf tries to mix martinis. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the river valley. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, Data has to convince a friendly Romulan to call off a Romulan attack. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Up yours!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that Trikell has a bio-weapon warhead! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'It doesn't get any better than this!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Trikell, the Enterprise follows the alien ship through "hyperspace". This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Trikell.

Soon, Riker shoots at the Minbari... I mean, the hostile aliens. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called the Darseen Expanse. Almost defeated, Trikell, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his bio-weapon warhead! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Trikell by disintegrating him with a phaser (how quaint). Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Mot the barber saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with never getting married.. Picard then gives a speech about the futility of vengeance.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.


THE END

[Petrosjko]

Damn it, I made mine before reading through here, and see that in several cases diseased minds think alike... but nevertheless, here you go.

Star Trek:Why Are We Even Bothering?

Written By:Petrosjko

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see a Klingon orgy. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are engaging in a group therapy session. During this scene, Picard complains about Shatner getting a hairpiece.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must make Klingon pornography. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data analyzes every porn video ever made.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving Klingon Birds of Prey decloaking and attacking for no reason! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that that Bumdweller is an antiporn fundamentalist, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to Martin Lawrence, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, Bumdweller, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Bumdweller is not REALLY that bad, because this villian works for the US Postal Service.

The crew then learns that Qu'onos is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'I Touch Myself.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf is revealed to have 'a very small bat'leth'. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, crashes the Enterprise while drunk, because she's hallucinating that she's taking a bath.

A little later, Wesley dies a slow, agonizing death. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the Caesar's Palace swimming pool. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, the crew watches special effects scenes for hours while doing nothing. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Fuck. Can we say that? Fuck? Fuck!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that Bumdweller has a Porn Eradicator! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'Wesley's slow, agonizing death was strangely exciting!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Bumdweller, all life in the universe spontaneously ceases to exist. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Bumdweller.

Soon, Riker shoots at himself, and misses. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called the Muff Patch. Almost defeated, Bumdweller, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his Porn Eradicator! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Bumdweller by endless pontification. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily the ghost of Wesley saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with Shatner getting a hairpiece. Picard then gives a speech about the healing power of porn.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.

THE END

[Lord Pounder]

Note to audience, i put in the part about earl gray before i read poe's

Star Trek:The Final Straw

Written By:Lord Pounder

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see a flatulant man farting. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are on a smoke break. During this scene, Picard complains about his earl gray is not hot.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must find extra strong air freshner. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data molests his cat spot.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving Rikers beard trimmer! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that Rikers beard trimmer has been sabotaging his replicator making his earl gray tea cold, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to Lord Lucan, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, Rikers beard trimmer, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Rikers beard trimmer is not REALLY that bad, because this villian just needs charged.

The crew then learns that The blissful world of Fuctifikno is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'Who Let The Dogs Out.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf needs TP for his bunghole. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, whips off her top and flashes her tits screaming "see i'm in this movie too".

A little later, Worf tries to commit suicide by falling on his bat'leth, unfortunatley the bat'leth is an impractacle weapon to fall on and Worf crushes it.. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the barbers. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, Picard gves Uhura a 30 second knee trembler in the cellar of 10-Forward. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'oh deary me!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that Rikers beard trimmer has a long hair trimmer! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'They ain't paying us enough for this shit!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Rikers beard trimmer, Picard gets into hand to hand combat with his replicator, if it refuses to serve him Tea Earl Gray HOT it must DIE!. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Rikers beard trimmer.

Soon, Riker shoots at that damn energiser bunny. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called fart gas. Almost defeated, Rikers beard trimmer, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his long hair trimmer! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Rikers beard trimmer by overcharging it. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Spot the molested cat saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with his earl gray is not hot. Picard then gives a speech about how he's getting a cool 5 mill for spouting this shite.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.

THE END

[Sothis]

Star Trek:Monkey

Written By:Sothis
The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see a giant strawberry ice cream eating a chocolate bar. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are sticking magnets behind Data's head, making his eyes go funny. During this scene, Picard complains about the bad job Riker did of polishing his head.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must get some spoons in order to eat the ice cream. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data realises the spoons stick to him thanks to the magnets.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving a fight between a Datsund Hound and a Labrador, where the Hound wins by getting the Labrador in a headlock and squeezing till he says 'Uncle!'! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that that the strawberry wants to splat the earth, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to a hamster, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, Collin the Datsund Hound, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Collin the Datsund Hound is not REALLY that bad, because this villian really wanted to be chocolate flavour.

The crew then learns that Earth is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'Hakuna Matata.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf gets his head stuck in the toilet. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, eats the chocolate and gets fat.

A little later, Data and Worf get it on. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the cookie dough. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, Picard screams 'Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!'. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'bollocks!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that Collin the Datsund Hound has a ice cream scoop! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'there is no spoon!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Collin the Datsund Hound, the Enterprise rams the ice cream and gets a bit damp. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Collin the Datsund Hound.

Soon, Riker shoots at the Labrador. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called The Labrador Nebula. Almost defeated, Collin the Datsund Hound, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his ice cream scoop! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Collin the Datsund Hound by melting the ice cream by sending it toward the sun. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily a Datsund Hound saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with the bad job Riker did of polishing his head. Picard then gives a speech about spoons.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.


THE END

[Kurgan]

Star Trek:SuperShadow

Written By: Mickey Suttle

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see the Kyber Crystal falling out of Sideous's pocket. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are galavanting around the Skywalker Ranch on the Holodeck. During this scene, Picard complains about his inability to score.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must stop the filming of Star Wars Episodes 7-9. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data creates Midichlorians, an idea he got from SS.com.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving thousands of Jet-pack wearing Dark Jedis! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that that Vader & Luke are being cloned, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to George Lucas, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, Darth Imperius, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Darth Imperius is not REALLY that bad, because this villian was just a clone.

The crew then learns that the Star Wars community is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'Lucas Doesn't Care about His Fans Only Money.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf can't possibly score as much as Master SS. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, goes out with SuperShadow, so he can score some more.

A little later, an aged Harrison Ford does one more Indiana Jones performance. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the basement. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, the heroes fight look-alikes of themselves like in the Undiscovered Country. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Whill Shit!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that Darth Imperius has a Penari Lightsaber! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'Tres cool!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Darth Imperius, the Jedi Scientists use the Black Hole Devestator to blow up the Valorious star system. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Darth Imperius.

Soon, Riker shoots at Yoda. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called SuperShadow.com. Almost defeated, Darth Imperius, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his Penari Lightsaber! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Darth Imperius by slicing off his legs. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Nebar Foxis, the most handsome Jedi that ever existed saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with his inability to score. Picard then gives a speech about the true fans creating the Star Wars sequels.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.

THE END


Congratulations!
You have now written a Next Generation movie
that's just as good as the ones shown at theaters!
Print this movie out and send it to Rick Berman! (SuperShadow: I love this idea, it will be forwarded to Lucas)

[Ted C]

Since it seems to be stylish to do an insulting "vs" story...

Star Trek:Retribution

Written By:Ted C

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.
After the credits, we see a computer help desk technician jerking off while watching Nemesis. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are playing poker, even though they have nothing of value to gamble, making the game pointless. During this scene, Picard complains about how Starfleet regulations are intolerably stupid.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must investigate yet another space-time anomaly. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data asserts control over the moronic B4, effectively resurrecting himself.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving a struggle to keep the Enterprise from being sucked into the anomaly and destroyed! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.
Later on, Picard finally finds out that that the anomaly leads to the distant past of a galaxy far, far away, and the dominant power their is an aggressive dictatorship that wants the Milky Way, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to Chakotay, who commands a starship that's blown away by Imperial forces, though this person doesn't really help anything.
Then, Guardian, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Guardian is not REALLY that bad, because this villian is deluded into thinking the Federation stands a chance against the Empire.

The crew then learns that The entire Milky Way galaxy is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'Saturday Night Fever.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf gets the snot beat out of him by Imperial Stormtroopers when his Bat'leth fails to penetrate their armor. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, senses the mind of Darth Vader and screams hysterically.

A little later, Data is astounded by the emotional capabilities of an Imperial protocol droid. The audience doesn't laugh, however.
Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the blasted ruins of the Betazed capital. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.
Soon, Picard pleads with the Imperial Commander for time to comply with surrender conditions, since his ship is severely damaged and the computer is inoperative. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Imperial scum!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that Guardian has a laws of physics escape clause! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'I got one! I got one!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Guardian, the Enterprise opens fire with all of its weapons on an Imperial Star Destroyer, with no effect. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Guardian.

Soon, Riker shoots at a Stormtrooper. But this doesn't help anything.
There is a final showdown in a nebula called the Darkstar Nebula. Almost defeated, Guardian, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his laws of physics escape clause! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Guardian by pointing out that attempting military action against the Galactic Empire has destroyed the Federation. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Luke Skywalker saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with how Starfleet regulations are intolerably stupid. Picard then gives a speech about fighting the inevitable, just because you don't like it.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.

THE END

[Kurgan]

Think that was bad? Here's my second entry:

Star Trek:Boobyprise

Written By:Trek Fan

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see Roddenbarry's ashes spinning so fast they destroy the earth. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are huddled on the floor of the bridge, sobbing uncontrollably in the fetal position. During this scene, Picard complains about the shame and indignity he feels.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must stop B&B's reign of terror on the franchise. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data dresses up in drag and does a "sexy" catsuit dance.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving dozens of crewmembers rubbing each other down with decon gel! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that that B&B are planning a new series, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to Shatner, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, B&B, the film's obvious bad guys, are revealed. But B&B are not REALLY that bad, because these villians were born a mutant freaks with Vulcan AIDS, oh and they're also poorly written.

The crew then learns that the Ratings are in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'Faith of the Heart.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf realizes he lives only two blocks away from Earth. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, flashes her butt crack and eats a peach.

A little later, B&B are tarred and feathered by the fans. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the Holodeck. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, two hacks try to milk the franchise some more. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Whettstone was right, this shit fucking sucks my balls!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that B&B have a Magic Reset Button! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'Akiraprise!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop B&B, the Borg, Ferengi and Romulans appear, then established continuity of all previous Star Trek shows and movies is destroyed in a big CGI explosion. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop B&B.

Soon, Riker shoots at Paramount Headquarters. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called Brannon Braga's head. Almost defeated, B&B, in a fit of rage, attempt to activate their Magic Reset Button! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop them.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills B&B by watching 'Smallville' instead. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Manny Coto saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with the shame and indignity he feels. Picard then gives a speech about how B&B should be fired.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.

THE END

[thecreech]

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see People Buttfucking each other. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are on crack and eating cock. During this scene, Picard complains about His small dick.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must Buttfuck Aliens. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data finds a Dildo.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving A Battle with Lubricant ! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that Buttfucker is fucking him, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to Captain Kirk, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, Buttfucker, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But Buttfucker is not REALLY that bad, because this villian Never had ass sex.

The crew then learns that Earth is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'It's Raining men.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf was Buttfucked. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, Buttfucks Worf.

A little later, Picar fucks Data's ear. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the desert. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, Picard screams "BUTTFUCKER!!". This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'FUCK ME!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that Buttfucker has a Ass raper! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'Get Anal!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop Buttfucker, Data's Dick crashes with Picards Nose. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop Buttfucker.

Soon, Riker shoots at Data. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called The Nexus. Almost defeated, Buttfucker, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his Ass raper! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills Buttfucker by Fucking his ass and then his nose. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Data saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with His small dick. Picard then gives a speech about Fucking asses hard.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.

[Praxis]

Okay, you people are genuinely disturbing

[Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi]

Star Trek:Convert the Heathens!

Written By:Me

The film opens with some credits that make the audience's eyes hurt.

After the credits, we see Micheal Moore and Janet Jackson turning kids gay. This confuses the audience to no end.

Next, we cut to the Enterprise. Throughout the movie, the ship interiors are filmed too dark to see things clearly. On the Enterprise, we see the TNG crew. They are Purging school libraries of all written material to make sure the kids don't learn anything un-Christian. During this scene, Picard complains about the excess amounts of sexual innuendo in the new Quizno's ad.

There is an incoming hail, where Picard is instructed that Picard and the TNG crew must stop unwed mothers from teaching in South Carolina. Thus, beginning their mission.

When they arrive at this mission, Data tries not to think of the women he would like to do it missionary style, two nights a year with.

This scene abruptly switches to a scene involving a battle with teachers who want to talk about condoms in sex-ed! This scene could have been very action-packed, but is very short, unfortunately.

Later on, Picard finally finds out that that the contraceptive companies are trying to pass a bill that would make it mandatory for the networks to air harcore porno during primetime, and thus the plot of the film finally begins.

As the crew work toward resolving this plot, a member of the TNG crew talks to that gay-enabling sodomite Jesus, though this person doesn't really help anything.

Then, The LIE-beral Agenda, the film's obvious bad guy, is revealed. But The LIE-beral Agenda is not REALLY that bad, because this villian has been brainwashed by Hollywood executives.

The crew then learns that The sanctity of ads for erectile dysfunction is in grave danger! They must come to the rescue!

While they are working on this rescue, Data sings 'William Shatner's cover of "Mr. Tambourine Man", winning a Grammy shortly afterwards.' The audience groans.

A little later, Worf has a thing for grannies. This ticks off many Worf fans in the audience.

Later on, Troi, who had nothing else to do in the film, jumps on a trampoline and eats a banana.

A little later, someone dies. The audience doesn't laugh, however.

Trying to resolve things, Picard and his Away Team beam down to the liberal arts college. Which looks almost cinematic, but not quite.

Crusher and Geordi do absolutely nothing for the duration of the film.

Soon, Fred Phelps pickets the Funeral of Jesus. This seems verrrry familiar to the audience, for some reason...

Then, for no reason, someone in the film says 'Pants!!' Nerds in the audience think this is cool and edgy.

Finally, the crew discovers that The LIE-beral Agenda has a de-"god-fearing, gun-owning, Fox News-watching Protestant"-ing ray! This makes the situation very dangerous!

In reaction to this, one of the crewmembers says 'Pants!!' ...even though this makes no sense.

In their attempts to stop The LIE-beral Agenda, Jerry Falwell saves Pat Robertson from becoming gay. This looks really cool... but doesn't stop The LIE-beral Agenda.

Soon, Riker shoots at the heathen queers. But this doesn't help anything.

There is a final showdown in a nebula called The Rusty Trombone. Almost defeated, The LIE-beral Agenda, in a fit of rage, attempts to activate his de-"god-fearing, gun-owning, Fox News-watching Protestant"-ing ray! Time is running out, so Picard beams over and attempts to stop him.

Eventually, Picard violently and mercilessly kills The LIE-beral Agenda by reciting the Book of Leviticus. Picard is almost killed in the process, but luckily Jebus saves Picard at the last moment.

Later, Picard contemplates on what has happened. As a result of this mission, Picard has resolved his problems with the excess amounts of sexual innuendo in the new Quizno's ad. Picard then gives a speech about how people who don't read Ann Coulter are going to hell.

The TNG crew then beams back to the Enterprise, which warps off into space.

The TNG theme plays on the soundtrack.

THE END

[EmperorMing]

ROTFLMAO!!!