Darth Vader Mugs Pizza Man
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Darth Vader walks among us, and he's not in a happy mood.
That's according to Kissimmee, Fla., authorities, who reported over the weekend that a pizza deliveryman was nearly robbed by an imposing figure dressed as the "Star Wars" bad guy.
"This is a criminal mind trying to think of things to do to victimize people," Osceola County Deputy Sheriff Al Dearmas told WFTV-TV of Orlando.
The deliveryman brought a pizza to a Kissimmee address Sunday night, said Dearmas, only to find no one home.
He got back into his car to drive away, when Darth Vader, mask, black outfit and all, suddenly materialized.
In a presumably commanding voice, the evil Sith Lord ordered the deliveryman to give up all his cash.
The pizza man hit the gas and sped off, but not before getting a good zap from what may have been a laser blaster, a light saber or perhaps just a stun gun.
"Thank God nothing happened to the victim," Dearmas told the TV station. "We are very fortunate for that."
"But things could have been much worse," he added, possibly considering the awesome power of the Dark Side.
The call ordering the pizza was made from a pay phone at a drugstore around the corner.
"We were able to obtain some fingerprints from the pay phone, and we have sent [them] out to ... see if we can have a match," said Dearmas.
Tipsters are urged to call the Osceola County Sheriff's Office, and maybe Obi-Wan Kenobi as well.
Wow, the Dark Lord of the Sith has the munchies...
"Show me an angel and I will paint you one." - Gustav Courbet
"Quetzalcoatl, plumed serpent of the Aztecs... you are a pussy." - Stephen Colbert
"Really, I'm jealous of how much smarter than me he is. I'm not an expert on anything and he's an expert on things he knows nothing about." - Me, concerning a bullshitter
Darth Vader wrote:
I find your lack of generosity disturbing...
Chronological Incontinence: Time warps around the poster. The thread topic winks out of existence and reappears in 1d10 posts.
Out of Context Theatre, this week starring Darth Nostril.
-'If you really want to fuck with these idiots tell them that there is a vaccine for chemtrails.'
"Commander, tear this ship apart until you've found the pizza, and bring me the anchovies-I want them ALIVE!"
"Brian, if I parked a supertanker in Central Park, painted it neon orange, and set it on fire, it would be less obvious than your stupidity." --RedImperator
