Ok, I think I'm truly evil. This is one of the funniest goddamned things I have ever read.Canada Post "heartbroken" over naughty Santa letters
Richard Starnes, CanWest News Service
Published: Friday, December 14, 2007
OTTAWA - There was absolutely nothing Ho Ho Ho about the letters Rosalyn Da Costa's children got from Santa on Thursday.
In fact, they included filthy messages.
They are two of 10 inappropriate letters dropped into mailboxes across Ottawa in the last two days and there could be more. On Thursday, Canada Post shut down it's Write To Santa program across the city while it joins Ottawa Police to hunt down the rogue elf.
"Everybody here is so shocked," said Canada Post spokeswoman Cindy Daoust.
According to Canada Post's website more than 11,000 current and retired Canada Post employees ensure that every child's letter - with a return address - gets an answer.
"Disappointed doesn't begin to describe how we feel," added Daoust.
Da Costa was far more than disappointed, she was stunned. When she went for the mail at her home on Thursday morning, she was thrilled to see Santa had answered letters from two-year-old Maya and 10-year-old Colton.
"My first thought was to wait until Colton got home from school so he could sit and read them with her," she said.
But she was happy she changed her mind.
"I told Maya: 'There's a letter from Santa just for you, let's read it'. We sat down on the couch, I opened the letter and began to read. My mouth dropped open. Oh, My God!"
Each Santa letter Canada Post delivers contains the same main message with a hand-written personal PS.
Maya's personal PS said: "This letter is too long, you dumb shit."
"I went straight to Google, got the Canada Post number and called," said Da Costa. "A very nice lady at a call centre in Fredericton, N.B. was shocked and when I told her I also had a letter for Colton and was planning to let him read it when he got home, she said I should open it now just in case."
Da Costa went downstairs, picked up the letter and returned to the phone.
What she read had both ladies gasping. "Oh! My God, Oh! My God," they kept repeating.
The personal PS to Colton's letter read: "Your mom sucks dicks and your Dad is gay."
This brought a Canada Post supervisor to the phone.
"He said: 'That's like dirt in my mouth. I can't even say it'." It was then that Da Costa decided she had to call CanWest News Service.
"My warning to everyone is: 'Open your childrens' letters first'."
That will not be necessary for a few days in Ottawa because Canada Post has put out an alert for letter carriers to not deliver any Santa letters, to intercept any others in the system and to send them back. "We will check every one," said Canada Post's Daoust.
"And we will make sure we have enough volunteers to send out new messages from Santa."
At present, the program will continue as it has for the past 26 years across the remainder of Canada and around the world.
But Daoust promises a close look at the system in the future.
In 1999, an Oshawa seven-year-old receive a Santa message from Canada Post that called him "one greedy little boy!"
But the latest incidents are far more inappropriate and the first incident of their kind in the program's history, according to Canada Post President and CEO Moya Green.
"We deeply apologize to any families affected by this... We are shocked and heartbroken," she said.
Last year, Santa sent 1.06 million letters, enough to make the Guinness Book of World Records.
"This is the largest program of this sort in the world," said Daoust. We have sent 15 million letters since it began. "Employees have volunteered with it since its inception and retired employees have stayed with us. It really is very near and dear to our 11,000 volunteers. "The 250 volunteers In the Ottawa area are in shock and calling to ask what they can do, how they can help. "We firmly believe there is just one rogue elf out there."
I mean I might be pissed if it were my kid, but then I don't think I'd waste postage on a "letter to Santa".
Maybe I'm just an asshole, but why is Canada wasting money on shit like this? Is everyone so well off that tax money can be wasted with this type of thing? And why the hell are police getting involved? Is it a crime to send 'curse words' through the mail?
I mean I know we do the same stupid shit here in the US (even NORAD get's involved), but I assumed Canada was a bit smarter about that type of thing.
