Well, he'll never get another date again

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2003-09-25 04:34pm

Excuse me. *vomits*

Half of that is for the actual story, and half is for Johonebesus's post.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-09-25 04:56pm

Can't they grow new ones now?

Hotfoot · Post by **Hotfoot** » 2003-09-25 05:16pm

2000AD wrote:
Spanky The Dolphin wrote:
Enforcer Talen wrote:is that a darwin, I wonder.
IIRC, people who do things under the influence of hallucenogenics may be exempted.
ANd don't the people actually have to die to be eligable for a Darwin?

Negative. The requirement is merely removing oneself from the gene pool. While most Darwin Awards are posthumous, there are several award to living people. Usually, as is this case, people who completely destroy their genitals.

Symmetry · Post by **Symmetry** » 2003-09-26 01:09pm

HemlockGrey wrote:Can't they grow new ones now?

No, but they can sew it back on if its in good condition.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-09-26 01:20pm

Symmetry wrote:
HemlockGrey wrote:Can't they grow new ones now?
No, but they can sew it back on if its in good condition.

In Russia, doctors replaced a mans penis with an amputated finger. He had penile cancer.

Jim Raynor · Post by **Jim Raynor** » 2003-09-26 03:34pm

Penis: My Anti Drug.

Col. Crackpot wrote:
Symmetry wrote:
HemlockGrey wrote:Can't they grow new ones now?
No, but they can sew it back on if its in good condition.
In Russia, doctors replaced a mans penis with an amputated finger. He had penile cancer.

WTF

Does that thing still work?

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-09-26 04:01pm

Johonebesus wrote:Well, the easiest way would probably be to grab the glans, pull it out as tight as you can, then take a good sharp knife, like a carpet knife or a scalpel, and start slicing away at the base in long, even strokes. Sawing with a serrated blade would of course be much less efficient. Scissors would probably be much more difficult and messy, if you could even find a pair sharp enough. Or you could get a paper cutter, if it was sharp enough, or even a heavy butcher's knife or cleaver, those should do it in one good cut.

I recommend mashing it off with a teaspoon, myself. Place the fleshy member on a stout table, then lay the edge of the spoon against the base of your John-Thomas, and press down with all your might, using a sawing motion as necessary. In my experience, the duller the object, the more effective the operation.
But then again, I have an interogation room named after me...

And what the hell is "Angel's Trumpet Plant"? Sounds worse than Jimson Weed....

Macross · Post by **Macross** » 2003-09-26 04:36pm

Sir Sirius wrote:
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Well, at least he can't reproduce now.
Unfortunately he still hass his testicles intact, meaning that it is possible to suck some of the little fellowes out with a needle and syringe.

Yes, but what doctor in their right mind would do such at thing.

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2003-09-26 05:05pm

2000AD wrote:
Spanky The Dolphin wrote:
Enforcer Talen wrote:is that a darwin, I wonder.
IIRC, people who do things under the influence of hallucenogenics may be exempted.
ANd don't the people actually have to die to be eligable for a Darwin?

Die or otherwise remove themselves from the genepool

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-09-26 08:06pm

Frank Hipper wrote:And what the hell is "Angel's Trumpet Plant"? Sounds worse than Jimson Weed....

It's a form of belladonna. It grows as a tree 15 to 18 feet tall, with flowers shaped like the bell of a trumpet. The flowers grow 9-15 inches long, and a single tree can have up to 200 flowers at a time. There's a picture at http:// dsp-159.innerhost. com/mgonline/WhiteDatura/datura.html (two spaces, copy-paste and remove spaces). It's distantly related to Jimsonweed (aka devil's trumpet).

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-09-26 08:25pm

You people think that stuff is horrible, you should see the stuff at BMEZine Extreme.

WARNING: DO NOT CLICK IF YOU ARE EASILLY.. IMMASCULATED.. or something.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-09-26 08:33pm

kojikun wrote:You people think that stuff is horrible, you should see the stuff at BMEZine Extreme.
<SNIP>

I Clicked...I Saw...I Barfed.

Soontir C'boath · Post by **Soontir C'boath** » 2003-09-26 08:40pm

I clicked....I saw....DAMN COOL. J/K!!!~Jason
P.S.- Not really frightening.....then again I have just forgotten right now what it was.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-09-27 04:55am

kojikun wrote:You people think that stuff is horrible, you should see the stuff at BMEZine Extreme.

WARNING: DO NOT CLICK IF YOU ARE EASILLY.. IMMASCULATED.. or something.

Ah, the old "Split Willie" trick. That takes me back.......

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-09-27 06:51am

. . .anything with 'split willie' in the title Im only clicking for money.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-09-27 11:41am

kojikun wrote:You people think that stuff is horrible, you should see the stuff at BMEZine Extreme.

WARNING: DO NOT CLICK IF YOU ARE EASILLY.. IMMASCULATED.. or something.

who would want to do that to their genitals?

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-09-27 05:10pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote: who would want to do that to their genitals?

People whos brains tell them it feels good not bad.

I mean.. gods.. NEEDLES INTO YOUR BALLS?! There are people on there who nail their testes to wood. NAILS. TESTES. WOOD. AGH.