Donald Sebastian promised in court yesterday never to be stupid again. If he fails, he goes to jail.
Appearing in federal court in Cleveland on charges of impersonating a U.S. marshal, Sebastian was forced by a magistrate to make the unusual pledge.
Sebastian, 54, of Middleburg Heights, had with him a marshal's uniform when he was arrested this month. He had pulled over a mo- torist in Str on gsv ille and eve n call ed po lice for backup, au thorities say.
He later tried to buy business cards identi fying himself as a marshal. Authorities wanted him in jail.
U.S. Magistrate Da vid Perelman consid ered the government's case to be weak. "If I can't lock him up, I'll embarrass him," he said.
The magistrate handed Sebastian a scribbled note and ordered him to read it in court. As Sebastian rose to his feet, Perelman ordered him to "say it with sincerity."
"I promise that I won't do anything stupid," Sebastian said. "If I do anything stupid, I'll likely end up in pretrial detention."
Perelman issued one other order: Scotch-tape the note where he can see it every morning.
"If Mr. Sebastian is a danger to anyone, he is a danger to himself," he said.
Mayabird is my girlfriend
Justice League:BotM:MM:SDnet City Watch:Cybertron's Finest "Well then, science is bullshit. "
-revprez, with yet another brilliant rebuttal.
Hehehe funny story. It's nice to see some level of independent thought on a judge's level.
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"
- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist
"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
