Dutchman's Builds "Noah's Ark"

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2007-04-30 02:03pm

Colour me unimpressed. When it rivals the QM2, or any of the upcoming Genesis class vessels or even the current Liberty Of The Seas, then maybe you can fit two of every animal.

Enjoy the chaos that ensues after that, though.

lPeregrine · Post by **lPeregrine** » 2007-04-30 03:03pm

Did anyone else notice that it looks like it's just a wood shell built on top of a barge or something? Not only at half scale, but he couldn't even make it work without cheating!

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2007-04-30 03:17pm

lPeregrine wrote:Did anyone else notice that it looks like it's just a wood shell built on top of a barge or something? Not only at half scale, but he couldn't even make it work without cheating!

Hahahaha, yeah! I was just about to comment on that.

Ted C · Post by **Ted C** » 2007-04-30 03:38pm

Gandalf wrote:Since it's half size, let's see him fit one of every animal in it.

It's half as long. It should presumably have one-eighth (1/8) the volume of the mythic Ark.

And, of course, it only has to hold 2 (or 7) of each "kind" of animal, "kind" being an ambiguous term used to dodge any real quantification of how many species the Ark was supposed to hold.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2007-04-30 04:37pm

The beauty of this is, if it can be shown that every organism around today couldn't be fit in this behemoth of a raft to maintain genetic diversity, then they essentially admit to evolution to explain the numbers of species today.

So they either admit the Ark was bullshit, or confirm evolution in a special pleading scenario.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2007-04-30 05:14pm

article on loony ark moron wrote: Dutch creationist Johan Huibers built the ark as testament to his literal belief in the Bible.

Then why not build it FULL SIZE and SEE IF THE THING CAN FLOAT?!?

Probably because deep down he realizes it would be a catastrophic failure?

"The design is by my wife, Bianca," Mr Huibers said. "She didn't really want me to do this at all, but she said if you're going to anyway, it should look like this."

The guy listens to his wife on the stupid points but not the smart ones.

Life-size models of giraffes, elephants, lions, crocodiles, zebras and bison are included in the ark's interior.

Again, if he's out to "prove" the story of Noah, why not use REAL animals and see how long they can survive in there without food and how long a human can stay in there before the stench becomes overwhelming?

Does this tard really think that maybe a few dozen species at most would even begin to represent the world's biosystem.

Side note: has anyone ever noticed that the vast bulk of animals represented on the ark in pictures happen to be mammals? ONE on the list here isn't.

Damn woodpecker

Mr Huibers, a contractor, built the ark out of cedar and pine - because Biblical scholars are still not sure as to which type of wood was used in the ark's construction.

Yeah, those vague statements in the bible sure are convienent for evading criticism and having to tie oneself down to anything. Of course I doubt Noah had the wood treatment techniques we have today to make it more resistant to the elements.

He began building in May 2005, after he dreamed of the Netherlands being flooded.

"In February 1992, I had a dream that Holland will become flooded. The next day, I found a book about Noah's Ark in the local bookshop, and since then, my dream has been to build the ark," he said.

You know, if I took my dreams seriouisly like that, MY first reaction to the fear that my country would be flooded would be to get the hell out of Dodge.

Visitors were stunned. "It's past comprehension," Mary Louise Starosciak told the Associated Press.

"I knew the story of Noah, but I had no idea the boat would have been so big."

Mary often fantasizes about long, hard, rounded objects being really big.

The ark includes a 50-seat theatre showing a segment of the Disney film Fantasia retelling the story of Noah's Ark.

Thats probably the most appropriate note about this whole thing--fantasy movies playing in the thing.

US visitor Lois Poppema told AP she thought the Netherlands was the right place for an ark to be built: "Just a few weeks ago we saw Al Gore on television .. saying that all Holland will be flooded.

Got a transcript of that?

"I don't think the man who made this ever expected that global warning will become [such an important] issue - and suddenly having the ark would be meaningful in the middle of Holland."

Funny. I thought that most creationists DENY the idea of global warming.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2007-04-30 06:13pm

So if a 200ft long wood building on a steel barge is beyond comprehension, then what exactly does Europort, thousands of acres of land built up out of the open sea and able to dock dozens of 80,000 ton freighters rate as? I wonder if whoever said that has even heard of the Delta Works?

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2007-04-30 06:21pm

Darth Servo, woodpeckers wont even be the biggest issue.

Think anteaters and termites

Jericho Kross · Post by **Jericho Kross** » 2007-04-30 06:46pm

Just a thought how do they actually know that it is half sized replica and who the hell knows the actual size of "Noah's" ark?

Plekhanov · Post by **Plekhanov** » 2007-04-30 07:07pm

lPeregrine wrote:Did anyone else notice that it looks like it's just a wood shell built on top of a barge or something? Not only at half scale, but he couldn't even make it work without cheating!

Not suprising really as it's apparently not possible to build a single hulled wooded boat of much more than 100m in length, no one in recorded history ever figured out how to do so anyway atleast according to this article, only wikipedia but it seems pretty reliable.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2007-04-30 07:11pm

Jericho Kross wrote:Just a thought how do they actually know that it is half sized replica and who the hell knows the actual size of "Noah's" ark?

Biblically, Noah gets instrutions from God.

The Vortex Empire · Post by **The Vortex Empire** » 2007-04-30 07:13pm

Enforcer Talen wrote:Darth Servo, woodpeckers wont even be the biggest issue.

Think anteaters and termites

Wouldn't the anteaters eat the termites, and then starve to death? Eliminating the problem altogether?

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2007-04-30 07:58pm

Jericho Kross wrote:Just a thought how do they actually know that it is half sized replica and who the hell knows the actual size of "Noah's" ark?

Simple:

Genesis 6:15 KJV wrote:And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.

And while we can't be sure exactly how long Noah's arms were (the basis of the length of a cubit), there are certain upper and lower limits. 1 cubit is approximately 1.5 feet.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2007-04-30 08:04pm

You know, I'm almost hoping that dog in the picture lifts its leg on the thing.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2007-04-30 08:12pm

The Vortex Empire wrote:
Enforcer Talen wrote:Darth Servo, woodpeckers wont even be the biggest issue.

Think anteaters and termites

Wouldn't the anteaters eat the termites, and then starve to death? Eliminating the problem altogether?

You need a sustaining population of termites to feed the anteaters, and the termites need somewhere to live

Post by **Vympel** » 2007-04-30 08:14pm

I still say the best Noah's Ark critique for pure comedy value is "and the poop goes where?"

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2007-04-30 08:17pm

Over the side. The 8 people on the ark fed every animal, repaired any damage to the hull, and then cleaned up all the animals. Daily.

Truly, their faith was strong.

Teebs · Post by **Teebs** » 2007-04-30 09:54pm

The problem with logical arguments against Noah's ark is that the response from fundies is essentially "magic". Or more accurately, "god made it work, somehow." It doesn't need to follow the laws of nature for them.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2007-04-30 10:04pm

Teebs wrote:The problem with logical arguments against Noah's ark is that the response from fundies is essentially "magic". Or more accurately, "god made it work, somehow." It doesn't need to follow the laws of nature for them.

For which the response is, "then why did Noah even need to bother building a boat that wouldn't work anyway?" "Why does God need to flood the world to kill everyone? Why can't he just press the big 'smite' button?"

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2007-04-30 11:54pm

Enforcer Talen wrote:Over the side. The 8 people on the ark fed every animal, repaired any damage to the hull, and then cleaned up all the animals. Daily.

Truly, their faith was strong.

—and their sense of smell weak.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2007-05-01 04:22am

Somehow i think that Johan Huibers "testament to his literal belief in the Bible" consists of charging 10€ from stupid tourists to visit this piece of "evidence".

Big Orange · Post by **Big Orange** » 2007-05-01 08:19am

Building a replica of Noah's Ark strikes me as harmless eccentric rather than dangerous eccentric (like blowing yourself up or preaching racial domination).

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2007-05-02 01:28am

Big Orange wrote:Building a replica of Noah's Ark strikes me as harmless eccentric rather than dangerous eccentric (like blowing yourself up or preaching racial domination).

Funny how I don't see anyone saying the guy is dangerous. Just saying that, like all fundies, he's an irrational idiot.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2007-05-02 03:23am

Oh man, I just realized this was a thread about Noah's Ark and I hadn't posted one of my all-time favorite Internet pictures.

CaptJodan · Post by **CaptJodan** » 2007-05-02 10:53am

The Vortex Empire wrote:
Enforcer Talen wrote:Darth Servo, woodpeckers wont even be the biggest issue.

Think anteaters and termites

Wouldn't the anteaters eat the termites, and then starve to death? Eliminating the problem altogether?

DPDarkPrimus wrote:Oh man, I just realized this was a thread about Noah's Ark and I hadn't posted one of my all-time favorite Internet pictures.

You silly people and you're silly ideas. Don't you know that...

1. The dinosaurs were all wiped out by the flood. That was the mass extinction event. God decreed that he didn't want the dinos walking around the Earth anymore. They, of course, were around when humans were but God wanted them drowned.

2. All animals (including humans and dinosaurs, people) were vegetarians before the flood! Anteaters eating ants? You're crazy! Think of the carnage of all those animals with potential food sources onboard. Of course they were all vegetarians so that they didn't eat each other. (I'm assuming this is why SDAs would prefer you to be vegetarian too, though I can't be certain)

This IS what I was taught was fact when I was a kid, and to this day this theory persists in my family.

Teebs is right. If you hit them over the head with logic that is inescapable, they go to handwavium as their final defense. As for why God would do it this way...well he does plenty of smiting in his time, but this is his way of making a point, according to them. God has to be shown as creative in his mass murdering schemes, yes?

The irony is the rainbow as God's proof that he will never flood the Earth like that again. True, global warming won't cover the entire Earth in water, but it will be a flood that will affect the entire globe's coastal areas. I think God is really skirting the line on that one.

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Dutchman's Builds "Noah's Ark"

Re: Dutchman's Builds "Noah's Ark"