Lisa wrote:I wonder how long before they start rounding up the eccentrics.
If you're rich, you're eccentric, if you're poor, you're batshit crazy.
That's not true; Tom Cruise is rich but still batshit crazy.
No, because if he was poor and spouting off about having the ability to manipulate energy, space and time with his mind and alien overlords involved in a conspiracy with the psychiatric profession, he'd be sectioned faster than you can say "Nutball". Instead he gets to accost furniture on talk shows.
"Prodesse Non Nocere." "It's all about popularity really, if your invisible friend that tells you to invade places is called Napoleon, you're a loony, if he's called Jesus then you're the president." "I'd drive more people insane, but I'd have to double back and pick them up first..." "All it takes for bullshit to thrive is for rational men to do nothing." - Kevin Farrell, B.A. Journalism. BOTM - EBC - Horseman - G&C - Vampire
Small niggling omission in that article: The bloke is an alcoholic (in Scotland?!) and was drunk at the time when the, uh, incident happened and that was the main reason for his being chucked on the register.
EBC: Northeners, Huh! What are they good for?! Absolutely nothing!
Cybertron, Justice league...MM, HAB SDN City Watch: Sergeant Detritus
Days Unstabbed, Unabused, Unassualted and Unwavedatwithabutchersknife: 0
Sex Offender Register... for using a bike to masturbate. How many morons can there be on this planet. Perhaps there is a limited amount of intelligence to go around, so as the population grows, average intelligence drops. The evidence seems to fit it.
The Vortex Empire wrote: Sex Offender Register... for using a bike to masturbate. How many morons can there be on this planet. Perhaps there is a limited amount of intelligence to go around, so as the population grows, average intelligence drops. The evidence seems to fit it.
There is more to it than that Because he was doing it in front of poor, nay, helpless cleaners, who were, perhaps, forever damaged by seeing a man's nads.
A "cycle-sexualist" caught half-naked in a compromising position with his bicycle has been put on probation for three years.
Robert Stewart's unlikely perversion has been analysed in chat rooms around the world after he was caught by two cleaners who walked in on him in a hostel room.
The 51-year-old was naked from the waist down and when the women opened the door he paused only to ask, "What is it, hen?", before continuing to "move his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex".
The police were called and at a hearing last month Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders' register after admitting a sexual breach of the peace.
The case has prompted criticism of "loony British laws", but he ended up in court because the "shocked" cleaners said they had knocked repeatedly before opening the door.
At Ayr sheriff court on the west coast of Scotland today, Mr Stewart was sentenced for the rare offence and for a separate breach of the peace charge for threatening a member of staff in a hostel in the town.
The court was told that alcohol was the cause of his problems, and he was placed under the supervision of a social worker and warned that if he re-offended he would be sent to prison.
Sheriff Colin Miller added: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'. "
Mr Stewart, an unemployed bachelor, has described the incident as a misunderstanding caused by too much drink, and said claims that he was having sex with the bike were "a load of rubbish".
His solicitor Gerry Tierney described his client as a "sad little man" who was trying to tackle his drink problem.
He added: "When the cleaners came in, he thought he was having fun with them. He does not think it is funny any more, and he has had to move home three times because he has been targeted because of the offence."
Mr Stewart's exploits have also earned him multiple dishonourable mentions on the internet.
After the story appeared on Telegraph.co.uk, it spread to Canada, the USA, South Africa and Australia.
On chat forums north and south of the equator participants continue to ponder some of the issues raised by the case.
Has the bicycle in question been taken into protective custody, asked one?
Other contributors wanted to know if he had been banned from bike sheds in his hometown of Ayr, whether the bicycle in question was over 16 years old, and exactly what sex with a bicycle involves.
But answers came there none today as Mr Stewart left court with his head bowed and sought to hurry out of the limelight.
EBC: Northeners, Huh! What are they good for?! Absolutely nothing!
Cybertron, Justice league...MM, HAB SDN City Watch: Sergeant Detritus
Days Unstabbed, Unabused, Unassualted and Unwavedatwithabutchersknife: 0
Ford Prefect wrote:Seriously, that's what they're implying here. I just ... I really can't see how so much stupidity can exist on one planet. I really can't.
Until you remember that Stupidity is actually the natural state... Intelligence takes effort to gather and properly sort.
Much easier for them to get their opinions (especially the harder to decide ones) from other sources, and meet anything new and unusual as thoroughly evil and bad.
Rule one of Existance: Never, under any circumstances, underestimate stupidity. As it will still find ways to surprise you.
Sex Offender Register... for using a bike to masturbate. How many morons can there be on this planet. Perhaps there is a limited amount of intelligence to go around, so as the population grows, average intelligence drops. The evidence seems to fit it.
Because he was doing it in front of poor, nay, helpless cleaners, who were, perhaps, forever damaged by seeing a man's nads. 
