U.S. declares war on porn

[Joe]

In this field office in Washington, 32 prosecutors, investigators and a handful of FBI agents are spending millions of dollars to bring anti-obscenity cases to courthouses across the country for the first time in 10 years. Nothing is off limits, they warn, even soft-core cable programs such as HBO's long-running Real Sex or the adult movies widely offered in rooms of major hotel chains.

Well, damn. I wanted to try and get into the FBI after the CPA Exam, but if I could potentially end up on anti-porn duty, I don't know...

[Durandal]

Stravo, when they say "less government," they mean, "Let corporations (that we like) do whatever the fuck they want because the market will always correct itself." Less government has nothing to do with respecting the right to privacy and free speech.

[Stravo]

Stravo, when they say "less government," they mean, "Let corporations (that we like) do whatever the fuck they want because the market will always correct itself." Less government has nothing to do with respecting the right to privacy and free speech.

I keep getting confused on that point. They really need to clarrify things in their official literature.

[sketerpot]

They act as if porn is this illicit cottage industry propped up by coked up, biker gang leather types who prey on children and ply their illicit lusts on poor unsuspecting coeds.

Even worse, I often see "reputable" sources, like mainstream newspapers talking about "pornography", and then eventually revealing that they are talking about "child pornography". They treat porn and kiddie porn as synonymous!

Instead of wondering where my next load will splatter why don't you fucking focus on getting people JOBS and saving soldiers' LIVES. Funny that - the party of less government wants to invade my private life. Fuckers.

Funny, I thought they were the party of more government, more spending, less taxing, invasions, and pandering to religious control-freaks. As opposed to the other party, which is the part of more government, more spending, more taxing, and pandering to different control freaks.

Join the revolution: mail porn to your congressman today! And be sure to send a good deal of gay porn to the president.

[HemlockGrey]

Well, damn. I wanted to try and get into the FBI after the CPA Exam, but if I could potentially end up on anti-porn duty, I don't know...

If you're lucky, you get Nguyen's job. Stall endlessly and enjoy it.

[The Yosemite Bear]

And when they find that the average person watches it, then they are fucked in so many, many ways.

eg, they can't make a case outside of the fuckin bible belt.

[HemlockGrey]

I suppose it would be illegal to sign up 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for a host of porn mags, right? Maybe Flynt would give him a free subscription.

[Col. Crackpot]

sigh...... well i guess i am officially out of the bush camp. jesus christ, aren't there more important things to spend money on.

[The Yosemite Bear]

Find Ashcrofts Email and home addy while your at it and post to the USE net, particularly Space Bastards, and alt.2600,

1. the penis enlargement spam levels should get excessive
2. we may actually see government crackdowns of the most serious sort against spammmers and script kiddies.

[Patrick Degan]

And when they find that the average person watches it, then they are fucked in so many, many ways.

eg, they can't make a case outside of the fuckin bible belt.

You really imagine that makes any difference to these religiously-insane nutjobs in Ashcroft's Department of Injustice? They are either deluded enough to believe America is actually on their side, or they disregard the reality of modern American culture since they see is as their God-ordained duty to drag the rest of us back to the Light, whether we want them to or not.

[Gandalf]

Thankfully I live in Australia, where the government ignores the people, and the people ignore the government.

Hasn't this war on porn been tried before by this administration?

[Patrick Degan]

Thankfully I live in Australia, where the government ignores the people, and the people ignore the government.

Hasn't this war on porn been tried before by this administration?

It's been attempted by the Nixon and Reagan administrations respectively; though the Reagan effort met with the biggest embarassment to date.

[The Yosemite Bear]

Like the fact that the meese folks were doinking a porn star, and she got murdered under their watch. Or calling in an IRS harrassment against Amber Lynn, where the Federal agent's raided the wrong house and got educated in pasic civil rights curtesy of Mark Hamel's wife. or the Part about their star witness presenting a very good faked ID, and all of the people they tried to prosecute in that case were able to sucessfully argue very reasonable doubt (Thanks Traci Lords), oh and thier other "Star Witness" was a serial killer trying to use them for extra appeals, and protection.

[Xenophobe3691]

Like the fact that the meese folks were doinking a porn star, and she got murdered under their watch. Or calling in an IRS harrassment against Amber Lynn, where the Federal agent's raided the wrong house and got educated in pasic civil rights curtesy of Mark Hamel's wife. or the Part about their star witness presenting a very good faked ID, and all of the people they tried to prosecute in that case were able to sucessfully argue very reasonable doubt (Thanks Traci Lords), oh and thier other "Star Witness" was a serial killer trying to use them for extra appeals, and protection.

Um...what?

[The Kernel]

This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. They want to take on the entire telecommunications AND entertainment industries in an election year? There's chaos on the ground in Iraq, the defecit is out of control, they've been thoroughly discredited on the war and embarassed in front of the 911 commission, the military is overstretched, unemployment is still up, white collar outsourcing is moving at a brisk clip, gas prices are up, property taxes are up, the states can barely keep their heads above water, and their idea of winning the independent voter is making an undisguised attempt to eliminate pornography? Jesus fucking Christ.

You think anyone gives a shit when they have issues like gay marriage to deal with? Face it, Bush's popularity ratings have been going up recently, despite the worsening crisis in Iraq and Richard Clarke's testimony before the 9/11 commission. Republicans are happier then ever with Bush because in their minds, issues like gay marriage (a stupidly minor issue which is likely to be resolved in the Judicial branch) is more important to them then a crumbling economy, a deteriorating military crisis abroad and a lack of respect for fundemental civil rights.

The United States has suddenly reverted to a 1950's era mentality, and if Bush wins this election, it justifies his adamantly partisan behavior for the future Republican presidents.

[The Kernel]

Well, damn. I wanted to try and get into the FBI after the CPA Exam, but if I could potentially end up on anti-porn duty, I don't know...

Dude, you'd be paid to look at porn all day. Forget the morals of the situation, YOU'D BE PAID TO LOOK AT FREAKING HARDCORE PORN! Pray that they give you a windowless office and plenty of free lotion.

[Frank Hipper]

Like the fact that the meese folks were doinking a porn star, and she got murdered under their watch. Or calling in an IRS harrassment against Amber Lynn, where the Federal agent's raided the wrong house and got educated in pasic civil rights curtesy of Mark Hamel's wife. or the Part about their star witness presenting a very good faked ID, and all of the people they tried to prosecute in that case were able to sucessfully argue very reasonable doubt (Thanks Traci Lords), oh and thier other "Star Witness" was a serial killer trying to use them for extra appeals, and protection.

Um...what?

That's all in regards to Reagan's War on Pornography.

[DPDarkPrimus]

THEY CAN TAKE OUR LIVES, BUT THEY CAN NEVER TAKE... OUR PORNOGRAPHY!

[The Yosemite Bear]

Scandels of the meese condition:

1. Congressional intern, who posed naked in several magazines, was bonining several members of the Meese commission, got murdered (beaten to death to be exact)

2. Because she would not testify in the Meese commision against all of the people who worked Traci Lords they sicced an IRS audit on her. The IRS and Justice department folks harrassed Amber Lynn's next door Neighbors in California. (the family of everyone's favorite starwars actor)

3. Traci Lords was one of the star witnesses, She was more of an embarrassment then anything else. 1. she lied to everybody, two the FBI knew she was under aged and using a fake ID, but didn't notify anyone for a YEAR. Also she was very unreliable.
4. To show that porn caused damage society in General, they extended Ted Bundy's life by several months, allowing him to testify. Yes, and Bundy did his best to make things a total circus.

[Frank Hipper]

BTW:
For those who are intersted and missed the last couple times I've mentioned it( ), I went to High Scool with Traci Lords, and appeared on the same page of the yearbook with her.

Anyone can find a copy of the page, I'd appreciate it.

[Gandalf]

For those who are intersted and missed the last couple times I've mentioned it( ), I went to High Scool with Traci Lords, and appeared on the same page of the yearbook with her.

So that's who you were on about.

Another of life's mysteries solved.

[justifier]

And when they find that the average person watches it, then they are fucked in so many, many ways.

eg, they can't make a case outside of the fuckin bible belt.

You really imagine that makes any difference to these religiously-insane nutjobs in Ashcroft's Department of Injustice? They are either deluded enough to believe America is actually on their side, or they disregard the reality of modern American culture since they see is as their God-ordained duty to drag the rest of us back to the Light, whether we want them to or not.

The fall of Rome

[Durandal]

You think anyone gives a shit when they have issues like gay marriage to deal with? Face it, Bush's popularity ratings have been going up recently, despite the worsening crisis in Iraq and Richard Clarke's testimony before the 9/11 commission.

Really? I thought they were getting worse. Or maybe I'm thinking of the polls asking about his handing of the Iraq situation.

Republicans are happier then ever with Bush because in their minds, issues like gay marriage (a stupidly minor issue which is likely to be resolved in the Judicial branch) is more important to them then a crumbling economy, a deteriorating military crisis abroad and a lack of respect for fundemental civil rights.

Don't be absurd. We can't let these "activist judges" render judgments on what is Constitutional or not. That would be letting them do their jobs, which is completely against the Bush administration's philosophy of not doing what the voters elected you to do and instead protecting them from themselves and phantom threats from regional, tin-pot dictators.

The United States has suddenly reverted to a 1950's era mentality, and if Bush wins this election, it justifies his adamantly partisan behavior for the future Republican presidents.

That's the sad part. If he gets reelected, all of his bullshit posturing about gay marriage and pornography will have paid off with his support base. Then Republicans everywhere will know that all they have to do to ensure their survival in office is publicly denounce wicked, sexual travesties like masturbation and homosexuals.

[DPDarkPrimus]

Wait a minute... they declared war on pornography?

Oh, no worries then. After all, look how the war on drugs and the war on poverty turned out!

[Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi]

THEY CAN TAKE OUR LIVES, BUT THEY CAN NEVER TAKE... OUR PORNOGRAPHY!

I believe it's "You can have our porn when you pry it from our cold dead hands!"