Should the US invade Canada?

[Darth Wong]

Eh, most of the military action is going to take place 100 miles within the border (where the bulk of Canadians live, IIRC), probably in a warmer season, so that shouldn't be an issue.

Another benefit of invasion would be increased American awareness of Canada's geography and culture. Look at Iraq; virtually every American now knows where Kerbala is, where Basra is, where Baghdad is, where the Tigris is, etc. Most Americans know a fair bit about its recent history too. In fact, most Americans probably know much more about Iraq than they do about their immediate neighbours in Canada. Similarly, Vietnam is probably more well-known to the average American than Canada.

It also goes the other way; if America is invaded, then they learn to accomodate the invaders and accept or even incorporate some of their culture. The most obvious example is Mexico, which has successfully deployed at least 7-8 million irregular forces in the southwestern United States, mostly in small squad-level forces using stationwagons and beaten-up old VW vans for insertion. As a result, most Americans know more about Mexico than they do about Canada (for example, George Bush shows his deference to the invading force by publicly declaring that Mexico is the US's most important trading partner and offering many concessions).

[Joe]

I guess that was a thinly-veiled way of saying that most Canadians do not live within 100 miles of the border. Damn you, HS geography teachers!

[Frank Hipper]

The most obvious example is Mexico, which has successfully deployed at least 7-8 million irregular forces in the southwestern United States, mostly in small squad-level forces using stationwagons and beaten-up old VW vans for insertion.

Don't broadcast my TGOD strategy like that, please.
And your mention of Vietnam is a bit moot, it's back to where most can't find it.

[Tsyroc]

Positive: Unlike Iraq, there is no possibility of soldiers dropping like flies to heat exuastion.

Negative: The same cannot be said of hypothermia.

Good point. We better wait until the middle of summer before we attack. Better bring the cold weather gear just in case.

[Durandal]

After the occupation has begun, it'll be time to enforce proper spelling conventions on the Canadian people.

No more of this "neighbour" crap. No longer will words be burdened with an "our" where an "or" will suffice. Also, "e" and "r" will be arranged into their correct, American order. "Theatre" will become "theater", for example, and "lightsabre" will become the correct "lightsaber."

[Joe]

And no more "aboot". It's ABOUT, you freaks.

[Enricko]

Positive: Unlike Iraq, there is no possibility of soldiers dropping like flies to heat exuastion.

Negative: The same cannot be said of hypothermia.

Good point. We better wait until the middle of summer before we attack. Better bring the cold weather gear just in case.

It's easier to warm a soldier than to cool him... The more I think about it, the more I see the wisdom of a US invasion of Canada. Think how many skidows and other winter vehicles Bombardier could sell! And all those military guys spending, ooooh, think of the money!

We've got McDonald's, we've got beer, we have the Montreal Jazz Festival, the Just for Laugh Festival...

Goth damn! Why the Iraqis are not happy to have the US invade? Don't they know how much money the US Army could spend on their ass?

[Tsyroc]

And no more "aboot". It's ABOUT, you freaks.

I think I've identified a Canadian infiltrator at work. She claims to be from Wisconsin but I have definately heard her say "aboot". Come to think of it, my parents have some neighbors who claim to be from Wisconsin and they say the same thing.

[Montcalm]

Could you cut it out guys,you complain when New Yorker are stereotyping some American states like Georgia or Alabama,and you are doing the same about Canada after seeing some dumb movie or tv show.

[Montcalm]

We've got McDonald's, we've got beer, we have the Montreal Jazz Festival, the Just for Laugh Festival...

Goth damn! Why the Iraqis are not happy to have the US invade? Don't they know how much money the US Army could spend on their ass?

Don`t give idea to the Iraqi we might get stuck with the Baghdad just for laugh festival as competition

[Tsyroc]

Could you cut it out guys,you complain when New Yorker are stereotyping some American states like Georgia or Alabama,and you are doing the same about Canada after seeing some dumb movie or tv show.

I would never complain about people stereotyping New York, Georgia or Alabama. I don't think I'd get most of the stereotyping on Georgia but I wouldn't complain just the same.


Besides, I thought I kind of hedged around the "aboot" stereotype a little bit since there are definately American states that speak similarly (Minnesota, Wisconsin, North & South Dakota) and it isn't just because of their proximity to Canada.

[Durandal]

And no more "aboot". It's ABOUT, you freaks.

"Nothing nothing ... could you tell us what your argument is all 'about'?"
"This isn't aboot diplomacy. It's aboot respect and decency."
[Entire UN laughs asses off]
"You guys are dicks! Release Terrance and Phillip, or we'll give you something to cry aboot!"
[More hysterical laughter]

Ah, South Park.

[Enricko]

And no more "aboot". It's ABOUT, you freaks.

"Nothing nothing ... could you tell us what your argument is all 'about'?"
"This isn't aboot diplomacy. It's aboot respect and decency."
[Entire UN laughs asses off]
"You guys are dicks! Release Terrance and Phillip, or we'll give you something to cry aboot!"
[More hysterical laughter]

Ah, South Park.

Ah, South Park indeed! In the Terrence & Phillip April Fools Special, its the Canadians that kill Saddam Hussein!

[Durandal]

I'd love it if Saddam was killed by a pack of wild boars, just so I could really see Dan Rather come on TV and say, "It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by a pack of wild boars, and the world is still glad to be rid of him."

[Joe]

Actually, I would most like to see Saddam die while attempting autoerotic asphyxiation.

[Galvatron]

Another benefit of invasion would be increased American awareness of Canada's geography and culture. Look at Iraq; virtually every American now knows where Kerbala is, where Basra is, where Baghdad is, where the Tigris is, etc. Most Americans know a fair bit about its recent history too.

I wouldn't be so sure of that. John Q. Redneck probably has no knowledge of Iraq beyond the pretty explosions he sees on news promos between NASCAR and WWE Smackdown.

In fact, most Americans probably know much more about Iraq than they do about their immediate neighbours in Canada. Similarly, Vietnam is probably more well-known to the average American than Canada.

Hell, sometimes we forget you're even there.

[Tsyroc]

Actually, I would most like to see Saddam die while attempting autoerotic asphyxiation.

Ewwwwwwwww, that's just wrong. Using Saddam and any version of "erotic" in the same sentance.

[Darth Gojira]

Actually, I would most like to see Saddam die while attempting autoerotic asphyxiation.

Ewwwwwwwww, that's just wrong. Using Saddam and any version of "erotic" in the same sentance.

AUGH! The mental image! It burns! The medicine closet is becoming a second home to me....

[Queeb Salaron]

Actually, I would most like to see Saddam die while attempting autoerotic asphyxiation.

I'm gonna go spoon my eyes out now. Thanks for the image.

[Montcalm]

Here`s the cure guys.
Carmen Electra
Halle Berry
Shakira

[Queeb Salaron]

Here`s the cure guys.
Carmen Electra
Halle Berry
Shakira

Is that what the Iraqis were talking about when they said that they wanted the US to bring them Deomcracy, Whisky and SEXY?

[Queeb Salaron]

::Puts the spoon down::

[Next of Kin]

Ha! As if 1000-lb bombs would have any effect whatsoever on Canada's most massive object.

Ho ho! You are forgetting that the United States possesses a weapon of such wretched villainy that would make the most ferocious warlord quake like a little sissy girl. Just you wait when a b-52 bomber drops this on target! Even Rita McNeil would be absolutely terrified!

[Enricko]

Ha! As if 1000-lb bombs would have any effect whatsoever on Canada's most massive object.

Ho ho! You are forgetting that the United States possesses a weapon of such wretched villainy that would make the most ferocious warlord quake like a little sissy girl. Just you wait when a b-52 bomber drops this on target! Even Rita McNeil would be absolutely terrified!

*snip offensive material*

WE SURRENDER! WE SURRENDER! Kill our men, rape our sheeps, take our cheese and our marijuana, but stop it! This ought to be against the Geneva convention!

[Graeme Dice]

[*]Nuclear capability. While we do not yet have nuclear weapons, we have extensive nuclear expertise, many nuclear reactors, considerable volume of weapons-grade uranium (the world's largest supplies of uranium ore IIRC), as well as plentiful supplies of deuterium and tritium. We have been on the USA's list of nuclear-capable nations for decades, and could theoretically design and build nuclear weapons at any time with almost no warning. Of all the world's non-nuclear nations, we could go nuclear far more easily than any other.

We don't have the largest supply of Uranium, but we do have the deposits with the highest concentrations worldwide. We also have the world's largest supplies of potash, which is a clear indication that we are planning to corner the fertilizer market and starve the world. Further, we grow 95% of the world's mustard seed, and are therefore also a threat.

Plus, we can activate the remaining Soviet missiles by firing an ICBM over the north pole to make it look like it came from North Dakota.