Girl, 12, had babysitter's child

[mr friendly guy]

words fail me

Girl, 12, had babysitter's child

September 20, 2007 - 3:26PM

A 12-year-old schoolgirl gave birth to her babysitter's child, a court has heard.

Matthew James Vernon, 29, of Ballarat East, had sex with the girl at least twice while babysitting at her home.

He was charged after the girl named him as the father following a home pregnancy test.

Her mother and teachers had already noticed changes to her body shape.

Vernon yesterday pleaded guilty at the County Court in Ballarat to four counts of sexual penetration of a child under 16 - a crime punishable by up to 15 years behind bars.

Outside court, the girl's devastated mother expressed relief the legal process was drawing to an end.

She said her daughter was barely coping with an "emotional tragedy", causing conflict within the family.

"She's coping up to a point," the mother said.

"She's not having counselling, which is very hard. She's bottling it up and then explodes; her anger comes out towards me."

The woman said her daughter was also torn between wanting to be a mother and a child.

"(The baby) calls me mum, which hurts (my daughter). I know in my own heart that (she) is her mother, but at the moment I have to let her be a kid and not take all the role, but some of that role," she said.

The woman issued a warning to fellow parents who noticed family or friends acting strangely around children.

"Just be wary of them. If they take a special interest in one person, particularly a girl, just be careful. Don't let anybody else go through the hell we've been through," she said.

Crown prosecutor David Cordy said Vernon's offending had serious ongoing consequences for the victim, her family and her child.

Vernon's defence counsel, Helen Spowart, conceded prison was the only appropriate punishment for his crimes.

But Ms Spowart urged the court to set a relatively short non-parole period, saying Vernon had taken significant steps towards rehabilitation.

She said her client had voluntarily sought counselling with clinical psychologist Dr Paul Grech, who assessed him as a low risk of re-offending.

According to Dr Grech's report, Vernon had a history of personal immaturity, impulsiveness, and lack of social judgement.

But he was not predatory or preoccupied with underage sexuality, Ms Spowart said.

Ms Spowart asked the court to consider Vernon had no contact with his victim and felt shame and remorse for his behaviour.

He had since entered a stable relationship, fathered another child and "grown up a lot", Ms Spowart said.

"The relationship has given his life some focus, meaning and stability," she said.

Judge Margaret Rizkalla revoked Vernon's bail and adjourned sentencing to a date to be fixed.

Ballarat Courier

[ArmorPierce]

This is the kind of stuff that I was talking about and why a physical/mental distance between adults (males particularly) is appropriate. Never completely trust anyone with your kids!

[ArmorPierce]

Oh and the fact that there wasn't an automatic abortion tells me that the mother is an idiot.

[Darth Wong]

Oh and the fact that there wasn't an automatic abortion tells me that the mother is an idiot.

At what point in the pregnancy do you think her mother finally realized her daughter was pregnant?

[Darth Wong]

This is the kind of stuff that I was talking about and why a physical/mental distance between adults (males particularly) is appropriate. Never completely trust anyone with your kids!

How about the fact that most child sexual abuse is committed by a family member? Does that mean you shouldn't trust your own family with your kids?

[Isolder74]

Its sad that these one in a very few end up ruining things for everyone else isn't it. And as far as the instant abortion thing a 12 year old may not have one realized what was going on right away and two might not have wanted anyone to find out because she felt dirty etc. You'd be surprised how long a girl can get away with hiding a pregnancy until an abortion become an very dangerous procedure to consider.

[FSTargetDrone]

At this point, it seems there is really one particular problem:

Outside court, the girl's devastated mother expressed relief the legal process was drawing to an end.

She said her daughter was barely coping with an "emotional tragedy", causing conflict within the family.

"She's coping up to a point," the mother said.

"She's not having counselling, which is very hard. She's bottling it up and then explodes; her anger comes out towards me."

The woman said her daughter was also torn between wanting to be a mother and a child.

"(The baby) calls me mum, which hurts (my daughter). I know in my own heart that (she) is her mother, but at the moment I have to let her be a kid and not take all the role, but some of that role," she said.

Why is this child not having counseling? Lack of money? Are there no funds or some kind of rape crisis counseling she could get that could help with this? Mom needs to get this kid some help.

[Isolder74]

The Atrticle does not give enough information to really tell.

[Setesh]

She may have simply refused to talk to a counselor. It's not all that uncommon, especially at that age. One of the guys I used to work with was suppose to be seeing one, on his parents dime, for depression. He went twice then went to the mall instead during those hours. Some people just don't like the idea of talking out their problems with others. Especially if its necessary because of emotional trauma.

[Oni Koneko Damien]

This is the kind of stuff that I was talking about and why a physical/mental distance between adults (males particularly) is appropriate. Never completely trust anyone with your kids!

I have to ask because up until this point I've been putting down the fact that you've overlooked this basic fact every time these articles come up as mere coincedence: Are you fucking dense or something?

The past four or so articles, each and every fucking time the molestation/sex/rape/whatever occured, it's occured from someone fairly damn close to the child in question. This time it was someone the mother obviously trusted to be a babysitter and remain alone with the girl for extended periods of time.

And so far you've still clung to the 'Well that means you shouldn't trust anyone and should keep all other adults, especially male ones, away from your kids, using fear if necessary!"

Are you incapable of grasping the fact that an overwhelming majority of these cases involve people who are already close and trusted? Are you too stupid to understand that as long as you keep an eye on your kid, strangers in a public setting are pretty much a negligable risk? Do you have trouble understanding that more lives can be saved if people (especially males) aren't burdened by the fear of being labeled child-predators if they *dare* to approach a kid who looks like he needs help? Are you incapable of understanding the consequences of advocating this atmosphere of fear and paranoia? One of those consequences being those who actually *have* problems will now be *more* likely to keep them as hidden from possible others because, thanks to the paranoia you and others share, their attempts to honestly seek help with their condition would result in their lives being fucked over by a vindictive populace...Thus they repress any sign of those urges, and like any other sort of sexual self-repression, it eventually reaches the point where it boils over and results in *more* shit like this.

Can you not fucking understand that the fear and paranoia you advocate helps cause more of this shit?

[General Zod]

Can you not fucking understand that the fear and paranoia you advocate helps cause more of this shit?

I'm wondering if he thinks he's immune to being suspected as a kiddy molester with all of his fearmongering.

[Darth Wong]

Can you not fucking understand that the fear and paranoia you advocate helps cause more of this shit?

I'm wondering if he thinks he's immune to being suspected as a kiddy molester with all of his fearmongering.

We're talking about a guy who told me that I should be nervous if my adult wife sits on Santa's lap in the shopping mall at Christmas. I don't know where the fuck he gets off giving parenting or marital advice to me, since I've got far more experience in this area than him, but he seems to think he's qualified.

[ArmorPierce]

This is the kind of stuff that I was talking about and why a physical/mental distance between adults (males particularly) is appropriate. Never completely trust anyone with your kids!

How about the fact that most child sexual abuse is committed by a family member? Does that mean you shouldn't trust your own family with your kids?

I actually know that and I give it a resounding NO, YOU DON'T. You should now this from the other thread where is cited the girl that was raped by uncle, cousin, family friend, and brother.

[ArmorPierce]

Are you incapable of grasping the fact that an overwhelming majority of these cases involve people who are already close and trusted?

Yes I do realize that hence "Never completely trust anyone with your kids!" and my reply to Darth Wong citing example of majority of cases being from someone parents trusted.

Are you too stupid to understand that as long as you keep an eye on your kid, strangers in a public setting are pretty much a negligable risk?

Actually I do realize it. The problem is that too many parents are idiots that shouldn't have kids in the first place and is too suborn to realize this.

Do you have trouble understanding that more lives can be saved if people (especially males) aren't burdened by the fear of being labeled child-predators if they *dare* to approach a kid who looks like he needs help?

If you read from my other thread I think that people are over reacting if they are not going to help a child out of fear of being labeled a child molester or pedophile I mean as long as you are not luring a kid toward a dark alley or something there is no reason for anyone to suspect anything malicious. I don't think that this is actually as much of a problem in the real world (becoming labeled as a pedophile for helping a crying child) as some of you make it out to be and that they should help the child out.

Are you incapable of understanding the consequences of advocating this atmosphere of fear and paranoia? One of those consequences being those who actually *have* problems will now be *more* likely to keep them as hidden from possible others because, thanks to the paranoia you and others share, their attempts to honestly seek help with their condition would result in their lives being fucked over by a vindictive populace...Thus they repress any sign of those urges, and like any other sort of sexual self-repression, it eventually reaches the point where it boils over and results in *more* shit like this.

I'm not advocating violence or shunning of people because of it. I do advocate keeping your kids away from them and it is for the safety of the children. IMO, safety of the child comes first and should be protected within reason ie not infringing on the rights of others. An example of this is if there is allegation of sexual abuse within a family in a household, take the child away and hold them temporarily at least before everything is cleared up. My friend had to stay in the house for weeks pending an appointment that was to be made to get a physcial and mental check up (about a month later and still has not happened and was originally said would be done within 1-2 weeks) resulting in further physical abuse by the family until she got up and ran away to a friend's house after telling dyfus (NJ child care services. They are presently under a lot of shit because of several children's deaths that were under there supervision and them not actually taking care of the kids that they were supposed to be so no, it's not anecdotal) that she was leaving.

Can you not fucking understand that the fear and paranoia you advocate helps cause more of this shit?

I'm not advocating that. I am advocating keeping a careful watch of your children by not completely trusting anyone because as you said (and seem to think that I don't realize) children are most often raped by someone that the family knows and trust. What is your position? Wait until children are raped before not trusting someone (most child rapists gets away with it and the child never tells anyone) because you want a more happy trusting world where you don't want to worry about your child being raped?

[ArmorPierce]

We're talking about a guy who told me that I should be nervous if my adult wife sits on Santa's lap in the shopping mall at Christmas. I don't know where the fuck he gets off giving parenting or marital advice to me, since I've got far more experience in this area than him, but he seems to think he's qualified.

Do you have any experience of dealing with people that's been raped as a child? It is very sad and heart wrenching. To be honest the reason I've become so up in arms about it is because one of my "friends" is actually my girlfriend and I have to deal with it and get up close and personal with it especially when she's reliving it through her night terrors.

[Cairber]

I feel that if you let yourself get caught up in the culture of fear it interfers with your natural instincts. So if you approach every babysitter interview thinking that this person might be a child molester, I feel that you really can't get a good feel for the kind of person you are talking to. Instead, I try to ask very direct questions and put scarey topics out there.

That probably makes no sense until you are in the situation, but I read the book Protecting the Gift and it really helped me realize this.

[Darth Wong]

We're talking about a guy who told me that I should be nervous if my adult wife sits on Santa's lap in the shopping mall at Christmas. I don't know where the fuck he gets off giving parenting or marital advice to me, since I've got far more experience in this area than him, but he seems to think he's qualified.

Do you have any experience of dealing with people that's been raped as a child? It is very sad and heart wrenching. To be honest the reason I've become so up in arms about it is because one of my "friends" is actually my girlfriend and I have to deal with it and get up close and personal with it especially when she's reliving it through her night terrors.

Ah, it's the "I know a rape victim so I don't have to make any sense and you still have to take my bullshit seriously" defense.

[Oni Koneko Damien]

Yes I do realize that hence "Never completely trust anyone with your kids!" and my reply to Darth Wong citing example of majority of cases being from someone parents trusted.

Yet you insist on taking this standard and applying it to random strangers you meet on the street? You've consistantly blurred the line between 'close relations' and 'random strangers' ever since this began and it's getting rather annoying.

Actually I do realize it. The problem is that too many parents are idiots that shouldn't have kids in the first place and is too suborn to realize this.

...and this is, once again, completely irrelevent to how one acts towards strangers on the street. Thank you for slipping in that pretty red herring.

If you read from my other thread I think that people are over reacting if they are not going to help a child out of fear of being labeled a child molester or pedophile I mean as long as you are not luring a kid toward a dark alley or something there is no reason for anyone to suspect anything malicious.

Yet in the same thread, you claim flat out that no strangers are to be trusted in proximity to your kids, with no qualifiers in regards to context. When DW asks you to verify it with the mall-santa example, you do, leading anyone who reads your posts to deduce that you don't want any strangers approaching your kids ever, even if you're right there watching them.

I don't think that this is actually as much of a problem in the real world (becoming labeled as a pedophile for helping a crying child) as some of you make it out to be and that they should help the child out.

Wow, I wasn't aware that Personal Incredulity had become a valid argument. Despite other posters linking to multiple cases where this has happened, you're not convinced. Despite the fact that these last four or so threads have been addressing this very subject, you're not convinced. You know, there's a line between reasonable scepticism and willful ignorance, and you've stridden happily over it.

I'm not advocating violence or shunning of people because of it. I do advocate keeping your kids away from them and it is for the safety of the children.

And the logical result of applying this as liberally as you openly claimed you would *is* shunning and likely violence and vigilatism.

IMO, safety of the child comes first and should be protected within reason ie not infringing on the rights of others.

If you're with the child and watching it, and you're a reasonable adult, that child is pretty much as safe as you are. This whole suspicion bullshit does not have to be included.

<snip more personal anecdotes>

For the umpteenth time: Completely irrelevent to random strangers molesting your kid in a mall. Hey, doesn't that landmark look familiar? Usually it's a sign that you're running around in circles.

I'm not advocating that.

"I won't let my kids or my wife on the lap of a mall santa." So let's see, saying that you won't extend the minimal amount of trust it takes to put your kid on the leg of a mall employee who is under watch by security cameras, mall security, dozens if not hundreds of mall patrons, *and* you ... isn't advocating paranoia and fear?

My question is answered. You are fucking dense.

I am advocating keeping a careful watch of your children by not completely trusting anyone because as you said (and seem to think that I don't realize) children are most often raped by someone that the family knows and trust.

Then get your claims straight. In one thread you claim you will show no trust to anyone. In this thread you're claiming you're willing to extend a limited amount of supervised trust. Obviously both can't be true, so you're lying in one of these threads.

What is your position? Wait until children are raped before not trusting someone (most child rapists gets away with it and the child never tells anyone)

I do what has been consistantly advocated by this board's more reasonable members for years now: Teach the children correctly. Hammer into their heads as soon as they're capable of learning that people touching them in certain ways is unacceptable and making damn sure they know to tell you if it happens.

You know why kids don't tell people? It's because the parents never bring the subject up with them, they have no fucking idea that it's wrong, and the sick fucks that do these things to them take advantage of this ignorance and convince them that it's the kids' faults and that the perverts are doing what's right.

So first off, educate the children. From there it's reasonable suspicion. Don't leave your children alone with anyone you don't know well yourself, or if you have to leave them in a daycare or with a babysitter, make sure you've researched it as thoroughly as you can beforehand.

because you want a more happy trusting world where you don't want to worry about your child being raped?

Already addressed in the other thread, go fuck yourself you presumptious little prick.

[Sidewinder]

I'm wondering why the mother of the 12-year-old chose to trust Matthew James Vernon, 29, of Ballarat East, to be the babysitter. Was he someone she knew from work? Someone she knew when they went to college or high school together? Why was so much trust invested in the sex offender?

[Cairber]

She probably did not ask the right questions or research the guy's background. In the book Protecting the Gift, Becker says that he did a survery of parents and found that while a high percentage asked for references, few actually called them. He also found few parents actually asked to see the hard copy certificates and licenses of day care facilities.


In addition, there had to be a huge gap in communication with her own daughter concerning the happenings at the house while the mom was away.

[SAMAS]

I'm wondering why the mother of the 12-year-old chose to trust Matthew James Vernon, 29, of Ballarat East, to be the babysitter. Was he someone she knew from work? Someone she knew when they went to college or high school together? Why was so much trust invested in the sex offender?

That's what I was thinking. That, and wondering why the hell a 12-year-old would need a babysitter. I admit to having no experience on the parent's side, but on the receiving end, if I didn't have to stay with a relative because of the duration, my parents raised me well enough to be home alone for a few hours, even without my older brother around.

[Cairber]

I think some states have laws concerning leaving children under 13 home alone. I read a few articles online that talk about laws in different places in Australia that say you can't leave kids under 16.


Or maybe there is just more to this story and the boy really wasn't a babysitter at all. Who knows.

[Lusankya]

That's what I was thinking. That, and wondering why the hell a 12-year-old would need a babysitter. I admit to having no experience on the parent's side, but on the receiving end, if I didn't have to stay with a relative because of the duration, my parents raised me well enough to be home alone for a few hours, even without my older brother around.

If the 12-year-old had younger sibings, I can see them needing babysitting as a group. My sisters and I just did not get along when I was that age, and while I could be left alone, if my sisters were there, the babysitter was needed to look after them.

Or it could have been at night, around tea-time, which is a different case from leaving the child to look after herself during the day.

[Darth Wong]

I just don't know why you would hire a guy in his 20s to be a babysitter at all. Anyone who has a real job by then wouldn't be looking for babysitting work, and anyone who doesn't ... well, why would you trust an unemployed person in his twenties with anything, never mind your kid?

[SAMAS]

Yeah, that too.