Judge gets fed up with bad child names, forces name change

[Darth Wong]

It's about time.

Judge renames girl, blasts parents

Jul 24, 2008 07:53 AM
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

WELLINGTON, New Zealand – A family court judge in New Zealand has had enough with parents giving their children bizarre names and did something about it.

Just ask Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.

He had her renamed.

In a ruling made public Thursday, judge Rob Murfitt made the 9-year-old girl a ward of the court so that her name could be changed.

He said the girl was involved in a custody battle.

The new name was not made public to protect the girl's privacy.

"The court is profoundly concerned about the very poor judgment which this child's parents have shown in choosing this name," he wrote. "It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap, unnecessarily."

The girl had been so embarrassed at the name that she had never told her closest friends what it was. She told people to call her ``K" instead, the girl's lawyer, Colleen MacLeod, told the court.

In his ruling, Murfitt cited a list of other unfortunate names.

Registration officials blocked some names, including Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit, he said. But others were allowed, including Number 16 Bus Shelter "and tragically, Violence," he said.

New Zealand law does not allow names that would cause offense to a reasonable person, among other conditions, said Brian Clarke, the registrar general of Births, Deaths and Marriages.

Clarke said officials usually talked to parents who proposed unusual names to convince them about the potential for embarrassment.

[General Zod]

This reminds me of the idiots that wanted to name their kid "4real". Now if only US judges would stamp down on this idiocy.

[Aaron]

Sex Fruit? WTF?

[Knife]

Sex Fruit? WTF?

Yeah, I think that was going to be her middle name.

[Dooey Jo]

"Number 16 Bus Shelter" was allowed

[Darth Onasi]

Damn, these are names that even the dumbest Xbox Live kiddie wouldn't use as a gamertag, and these idiots give them to their children?
Retarded attempt at attention seeking, that's all it is.

[The Yosemite Bear]

I still cry for the trailer park kids named after products I went to school with...

Harley Davidson <lastname>
Ford Falcon <Lastname>
etc.

[CaptainChewbacca]

I showed this article to my co-worker, and he said;

Give your kid a name, not a username.

[The Yosemite Bear]

I showed this article to my co-worker, and he said;

Give your kid a name, not a username.

But Bill Smith 2.068 is such a wonderful name.

[Raw Shark]

"Number 16 Bus Shelter" was allowed

"Your Honor, as Number 16 Bus Shelter's parents we can solemnly attest that he owes his entire existence to his namesake. That shelter brought us together for the first time, protected us from catching pneuminia in the rain, and later that day served as the backdrop for the consummation of our love. It would be a grave dishonor to go back on our promise to name him after it."

[Darth Wong]

Some of those names are so stupid that the appropriate punishment is to not only reject the name, but also to have the parents beaten for selecting it in the first place.

[Darth Onasi]

I'd go for having the parent's names legally changed to "Dipshit" or something along those lines.

[LadyTevar]

We're still waiting for the day the mother of "Sha'9C" comes to get a copy of the kid's birth certificate. It's never been filed, because she'd ignored all attempted to contact her with a 'suggestion' to rename the child.

Yes, we can do that. And she's going to be very upset when we pull out all the paperwork showing how we tried to contact her for a full 6 months. Hell, we had her hospital and her doctor trying to get her to talk to us. So, kid's not on file, she's going to have to jump through several hoops, all because she named the kid something stupid.

[Schuyler Colfax]

Worst that I have heard

Anita Bath (A Simpsons' joke, really?)
Good Dog (no comment)
Basemath (pronounced Buh-SEE-muth)

What is wrong with people?

[Edi]

It's goddamn incomprehensible just how fucking idiotic the assholes who come up with this kind of shit are. Weren't any of them ever teased or picked on when they were kids?

Fortunately Finland has laws on the books that make it categorically impossible to give names like that to children. Names must comply with a certain set of guidelines, you can only have a limited number of names and they must be approved by the Census Office. So the examples in the article would get rejected out of hand.

There are still some names that are an unfortunate combination of proper names that are usually rejected but sometimes slip through if there's an inattentive moron rubberstamping things, such as

• Per Saukko (Saukko = otter, aukko = hole, persaukko = asshole)
• Anu Saukko (anus + aukko, no explanation needed)
• Unelma Sirpa Leena; Each one of these is a proper woman's name, the latter two even common, but taken all together in that order, it becomes literally "Shattered Dream" when pronounced. My sister knew of a case where some bitch named her daughter that because she had wanted a son and not a daughter.

There are bound to be other combinations like these, but any such are grounds for rejection if spotted.

The influx of immigrants from countries whose languages we know nothing about has complicated things in the sense that it is impossible for the Census Office people to recognize this sort of wordplays in Chinese, Arabic, Urdu, Hindi or any number of other languages, but by and large this sort of thing is rare here.

[MichaelFerrariF1]

And here I thought "Apple" was weird...

[Azazal]

Reminds me of a SNL skit where Nichols Cage's character is being consoled by his wife that his name is fine and he should be proud of his heritage. They go back and forth about their kids being teased if he doesn't change his name, and how hard his life was growing up. After a few minutes she finally convinces him, there is a knock at the door. Cage opens it to find there is a telegram for him, a Mr Asswipe Dumbass, to which he starts screaming "It's pronounced Az-wip-ey Due-Mass, it's French!!!"

[FSTargetDrone]

It's goddamn incomprehensible just how fucking idiotic the assholes who come up with this kind of shit are. Weren't any of them ever teased or picked on when they were kids?

The sort of parent that would name his or child something so bizarrely absurd isn't likely to be worried about that kind of thing.

[Solauren]

Quite frankly, if you try to name your kid something like these names, that should be grounds for child abuse right off the bat.

Clearly, you're not thinking long term enough about your kid.


Hell, even Nicolas 'I named my son Kal-el' Cage should have been told off.

Unless he just named him Kal. Kal Cage has a nice ring to it.

[CaptainChewbacca]

We're still waiting for the day the mother of "Sha'9C" comes to get a copy of the kid's birth certificate. It's never been filed, because she'd ignored all attempted to contact her with a 'suggestion' to rename the child.

Yes, we can do that. And she's going to be very upset when we pull out all the paperwork showing how we tried to contact her for a full 6 months. Hell, we had her hospital and her doctor trying to get her to talk to us. So, kid's not on file, she's going to have to jump through several hoops, all because she named the kid something stupid.

So, does the child have a legal name? Is it 'provisional', or how does it work? This sort of thing is interesting to me, for reasons beyond my understanding.

[Jade Falcon]

I still say Bob Geldof and Paula Yates kids have some fucked up names.

I mean...Heavenly Hiranni Tiger Lily?

[Death from the Sea]

the lady in the room next to my cousin named her kid Orangejello (Or- an-ja-llo), because the last thing she ate before giving birth was orange jello...

[CaptainChewbacca]

the lady in the room next to my cousin named her kid Orangejello (Or- an-ja-llo), because the last thing she ate before giving birth was orange jello...

Did your cousin actually meet/see the baby Orangejello? Because this is an 'urban legend' I have heard many times, never with proof.

[Kanastrous]

the lady in the room next to my cousin named her kid Orangejello (Or- an-ja-llo), because the last thing she ate before giving birth was orange jello...

Did your cousin actually meet/see the baby Orangejello? Because this is an 'urban legend' I have heard many times, never with proof.

My friends Oyster Shooter and Tri Tip swear it's true.

[Lord Pounder]

Despite all my liberal and left wing beliefs it's shit like that that makes me wish people had to pass an IQ test before they where allowed to breed.