ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

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Ender
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ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

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Figured we may as well have a mega thread for this kind of stuff, my buddies dump my LJ feed full of it anyway so let me share the madness. It helps if you imagine me drinking a great deal of bourbon while doing this. In fact, it probably helps even more if you drink a great deal of bourbon while reading this. This started out being pure N&P but I was infected with the nuttery and rewrote it to this, probably more worthy of Testing. Whatever, mods an punt it as they see fit.

First up tonight, we have with us the man, the legend, Mr. Chuck Norris!

Chuck, can I call you Chuck? You look well. Now let's get right down to business. There are reports you are considering entering politics, after a sort. For example:
The call by some right wing leaders for rebellion and for the military to refuse the commander in chief’s orders is joined by Chuck Norris who claims that thousands of right wing cell groups have organized and are ready for a second American Revolution. During an appearance on the Glen Beck radio show he promised that if things get any worse from his point of view he may “run for president of Texas.” The martial artist/actor/activist claims that Texas was never formally a part of the United States in the first place and that if rebellion is to come through secession Texas would lead the way.

Today in his syndicated column on WorldNetDaily Norris reiterates the point: “That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.”

He continues; calling on a second American Revolution; “…we've bastardized the First Amendment, reinterpreted America's religious history and secularized our society until we ooze skepticism and circumvent religion on every level of public and private life.

How much more will Americans take? When will enough be enough? And, when that time comes, will our leaders finally listen or will history need to record a second American Revolution? We the people have the authority according to America's Declaration of Independence, which states: That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government…”

Norris claims that; “Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation.” The right wing cells will meet during a live telecast, "We Surround Them," on Friday March 13 at 5 p.m.

He closes with the words of Sam Houston followed by a plug for his next martial arts event.

“We view ourselves on the eve of battle."
Chuck, let me just say good luck and godspeed on this endeavor, we haven't had such a patriot since Emperor Norton. Now of course, engaging the media is always a critical part of any campaign. Tonight we are joined with Mr. Glenn Beck. He shares most of your views.
Here's his Rallying cry

Image
(How patriotic, harkens back to the founding fathers. Wear that flag Beck. Wear it proudly)
Do you watch the direction that America is being taken in and feel powerless to stop it?

Do you believe that your voice isn’t loud enough to be heard above the noise anymore?

Do you read the headlines everyday and feel an empty pit in your stomach…as if you’re completely alone?

If so, then you’ve fallen for the Wizard of Oz lie. While the voices you hear in the distance may sound intimidating, as if they surround us from all sides—the reality is very different. Once you pull the curtain away you realize that there are only a few people pressing the buttons, and their voices are weak. The truth is that they don’t surround us at all.

We surround them.

So, how do we show America what’s really behind the curtain? Below are nine simple principles. If you believe in at least seven of them, then we have something in common. I urge you to read the instructions at the end for how to help make your voice heard.


The Nine Principles

1. America is good.

2. I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life.

3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.

4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.

5. If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.

6. I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results.

7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.

8. It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion.

9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.


12 Values
Honesty
Reverence
Hope
Thrift
Humility
Charity
Sincerity
Moderation
Hard Work
Courage
Personal Responsibility
Gratitude


You Are Not Alone

If you agree with at least seven of those principles, then you are not alone. Please send a digital version of your picture to: wesurroundthem@foxnews.com and then stay tuned to the radio and television shows over the coming weeks to see how we intend to pull back the curtain.
If you go the the site he has a nice little count down timer running and you can sign up for one of these viewing party things. :3 :3 :3

Tell me Mr Beck, what do you think of Obama's science initiative? Don't hold anything back, we value free speech here.
So here you have Barack Obama going in and spending the money on embryonic stem cell research, and then some, fundamentally changing – remember, those great progressive doctors are the ones who brought us Eugenics. It was the progressive movement and it science. Let’s put science truly in her place. If evolution is right, why don’t we just help out evolution? That was the idea. And sane people agreed with it!

And it was from America. Progressive movement in America. Eugenics. In case you don’t know what Eugenics led us to: the Final Solution. A master race! A perfect person. …. The stuff that we are facing is absolutely frightening. So I guess I have to put my name on yes, I hope Barack Obama fails. But I just want his policies to fail; I want America to wake up.
Well put Mr Beck, well put.

By the way Mr Beck, have you met Mr Norris?
GLENN: We have Chuck Norris on the phone? I just want him to karate chop, just a real nasty karate chop. You know what I mean? Hey, Chuck, how are you?
NORRIS: I'm doing good, Glenn, thanks.
GLENN: Chuck's the author of Black Belt Patriotism: How to Reawaken America. Chuck, you know what? I was talking about General Petraeus the other day. I mean this sincerely: I would love to have General Petraeus go up to Washington and clean that hornet's nest out. I'd like him to set up a military tribunal and call them in one by one, okay, going to have a little interview with you. Find out if they're guilty or innocent of being involved in, you know, all kinds of the scandals that are going on and kick them out.
NORRIS: I want to go with General Petraeus myself and be next to him and when he finds out who's guilty and, you know, dishonest, then I will take care of it for him. Took him out. I'll choke them out, the ones that he finds dishonest, I will choke them out and stick them into a pile.
GLENN: Do you ever watch 24?
NORRIS: I'm sorry?
GLENN: Do you ever watch the TV show 24?
NORRIS: No, I don't.
GLENN: Jack Bauer last night, he choked somebody out. Is that hard to do without killing them?
NORRIS: Yeah, you stop after 8 seconds. It takes 8 seconds for them to go unconscious.
GLENN: And then they --
NORRIS: They are always saying -- you know, since Jack Bauer, since I'm off the Walker series, everyone says, would Walker have a chance against Jack Bauer? I said Jack Bauer would last 5 seconds against Walker.
GLENN: Wow. But could you know which wire to cut if it was a nuke? Come on, Walker, come on, buddy.
NORRIS: I have good instincts, Glenn. My gut reaction will tell me which one to cut. That happens to Bauer, he doesn't know, either.
GLENN: If we're both sitting there and there's a nuke and you've got the red wire and the green wire and we're both sweating and you're like, I don't know, I'm going to go with my instinct, I think I'd like a little bit more.
NORRIS: Hey, actually I did a movie like that called President's Man. Listen to this. No one knows about this. But in 2000 I did a movie of the week called President's Man and what I do as President's Man, when the FBI and the CIA can't take care of a situation for the president, I come in and take care of it for him. And so we did one. It was so successful that CBS wanted me to do another one. So I started thinking about a story for another movie and I was talking to Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison and I said, Kay, I said, what is the greatest threat we have in America? And she says, our greatest fear is Osama Bin Laden's going to sneak a nuclear device into our country. And I said, oh, really? So I got my writers together. We wrote a story about Osama Bin Laden sneaking a nuclear device into America and hiding it actually in Chicago, which we didn't know at the time, and he calls the president and says, "I want you to release my holy warriors from the 1993 bombing or I'm going to explode this nuclear device in your country." So I get called in --
GLENN: Wait, wait, this is in 2000 you did this?
NORRIS: Yeah, this is in 2000. So anyway, I go to Afghanistan, I kidnap Osama Bin Laden, and I bring him back to the United States for trial. Then during that time -- and then the attorney general's a Muslim as well, Osama, and they get into a debate about the interpretation of the Qur'an and the, you know, the attorney general says the Qur'an talks about tolerance, you know, not war.
GLENN: Did you make this movie?
NORRIS: Oh, yeah. Anyway, so I do the movie, I finally find the nuclear weapon, disarm it at the last minute like Jack Bauer did. I was trying to find the right wire to cut down to two seconds. Anyway, we deliver this movie to CBS on September 7th, 2001.
GLENN: Holy cow.
NORRIS: Then four days later, of course, 9/11 hits. So now CBS doesn't know what to do. You know, the name of it was called Ground Zero was the name of the movie.
GLENN: Has it ever been seen?
NORRIS: No.
GLENN: Do you own it?
NORRIS: CBS got so scared of it, they said, well, we can't release this. You know, it's too prophetic. I said, please, if you are going to release it, if you are ever going to release it, you have to release it now. If you release it at a later date, everyone will think I did a rip-off of 9/11. And they said, oh, we can't do that, you can't do that. So --
GLENN: Do you own the movie, Chuck, or do you own it?
NORRIS: I own it.
GLENN: I'd love to see it sometime.
NORRIS: I'll send it to you.
GLENN: We should have a showing of it or something. That's fantastic.
NORRIS: Yeah, I'll send it to your show. It really was very prophetic. But, you know, it just hit too close. And so we changed it to A Line in the Sand, from Ground Zero to A Line in the Sand.
GLENN: Holy cow, that's amazing.
NORRIS: But the reason why I wrote my book, too, Glenn actually, it was from watching your show for forever and just listening to the things that are going on. I'm thinking, "Well, what can I do." And I just started researching and I thought, you know, I'm going to talk about the eight problems we have, you know, how we've drifted from the principles and beliefs that our country was founded upon. You know, our out-of-control debt, how the government has failed to enforce our nation's borders and illegal immigration and how we've lost our moral compass and the devaluation of life, the failing number of children, the dissolution of the family and America's apathy, physically, mentally and spiritually. So that's really what my book's all about is chapters about all the problems we have. And then I give my own common sense solutions to the problems that I arise in the book. And, you know, and the thing is I'm like you, Glenn. I'm a concerned citizen, I'm a father and a grandfather, and I'm just extremely worried about the future of our country for our kids and our grandkids.
GLENN: Chuck, you live in Texas.
NORRIS: Yes, I do.
GLENN: Somebody asked me this morning, they said, you really believe that there's going to be trouble in the future. And I said, if this country starts to spiral out of control and, you know, and Mexico melts down or whatever, if it really starts to spiral out of control, before America allows a country to become a totalitarian country, which it would have under I think the Republicans as well in this situation; they were taking us to the same place, just slower.
NORRIS: It was slower, yeah.
GLENN: Americans will, they just, they won't stand for it. There will be parts of the country that will rise up. And they said, where's that going to come from? And I said Texas, it's going to come from Texas. Do you agree with that, Chuck, or not?
NORRIS: Oh, yeah. You know, Texas is a republic, you know. We could actually --
GLENN: It was a country before it was a state.
NORRIS: Yeah, we could break off from the union if we wanted to.
GLENN: You do, you call me.
NORRIS: Oh, yeah.
GLENN: Seriously, you do. I don't mind having that lone star on my flag. I really don't mind it. I've been out with a seam ripper looking at my flag going, I don't know, California could go. I'm just saying --
NORRIS: I may run for president of Texas. (Laughing).
GLENN: All right. Hey, Chuck, I just wanted to touch base with you, too, on one other thing. Are you having a bunch of friends over to your house for the March 13th thing?
NORRIS: For the 13th, yeah. I got a whole group. A lot of the law enforcement here in the local area are going to be here and a lot of our family and friends are all going to be in our big room here to watch it. I'm dying to find out what it is, you know. I'm dying to find out what you're going to say.
GLENN: Well --
NORRIS: But, you know, the thing is, Glenn, once we talked on your television show the other night, you know, the thing that I am most passionate about and that is our tax system. You know, with our taxes in America, with our income tax, employment tax, capital gains, estate, property, corporate, Social Security, we are being taxed to death in our country and we've got to --
GLENN: You haven't seen anything yet.
NORRIS: And with these desperate times right now, we've got to take some positive desperate measures, and I really believe that if we could get the people behind us and say enough is enough, we need to eliminate the IRS, which is a bloated bureaucracy which has a tax code of 6,498 pages, you know, if we could eliminate that there and get a fair tax going where it's a consumption tax, we could bring the 3 million manufacturing jobs that are being outsourced to other countries back into our economy and the $13 trillion that the super rich are hiding in offshore banks that we know of, probably much more than that, they could all come back and give our economy a big boost without worrying about the IRS.
GLENN: Chuck, you know and I --
NORRIS: This would be a great solution to the economic downturn that we have right now, Glenn.
GLENN: Look, your time is coming, Chuck, because there's going to be two solutions that are going to be presented here and I think soon. This is not going to -- this can't last much longer. The way the rest of the world, it is going to start to come apart at its seams and then people are faced with a choice: Are they going to face it locally, are they going to become more like our founding or are we going to become a global government? Are we going to tie ourselves even more to the rest of the world? It's only going to go one of two ways. You know, Prime Minister Blair is in town and he's talking about a global --
NORRIS: Global, yeah.
GLENN: -- new deal. It looks like the government is going to go that way. But when it starts to unravel, you know, you're going to have a resetting, an opportunity to reset.
NORRIS: Yeah, I've got to tell you a story. Do you have a moment, Glenn?
GLENN: How long do I have? I've got about one minute. I've got one minute.
NORRIS: Huh?
GLENN: I've got one minute.
NORRIS: This is a story about a man who came to me seven years ago from Australia, a guy named Peter Daniels. And he came and visited. He's on a tour here in the country and he came to our home. He says, "We're going to have a global meltdown within the next few years. I have sold all my companies in Australia and I have bought a gold bank in Switzerland." And he says, I am focusing strictly on gold. And he says, I would -- you know, he said I would really recommend that you consider buying into the gold bank with me because it's going to be real bad here in the next few years. So I go to my business advisors here in Houston, Texas, and they say, "Oh, no, that's not going to happen. You know, don't worry about it." So I don't do it. And now look at the situation I'm in.
GLENN: Yeah, I know. I know.
NORRIS: And again, gut feelings. Gut feelings, Glenn. If I'd have listened to my gut feeling. But, you know, you talk about the Constitution all the time on your show.
GLENN: Yes.
NORRIS: And, you know, it's interesting because I read about John Adams, you know, who said that our Constitution was made only for a religious and moral people.
GLENN: Yes.
NORRIS: It's wholly inadequate for the government of any other. Now, can you see this, Glenn? You see what's happening?
GLENN: Oh, Chuck, let me tell you something. I've got to run but let me tell you something. You are exactly right. The best thing that you just said was had I listened to my gut.
NORRIS: Yeah.
GLENN: When America listens to her gut and stops listening to all the experts, we're going to be fine. Chuck Norris, we will talk to you again soon, my friend, and we'll see you on March 13th.
NORRIS: You got it. Thanks, Glenn.
GLENN: Name of the book is Black Belt Patriotism: How to Reawaken America.
My, you two get along splendidly don't you?

Now, Mr Beck, you seem to share many political opinions with Mr Norris, who himself is of a more libertarian bent. How do you feel about Michael Steele, the new head of the RNC? Oh, you've interviewed him? How did that go? We have a tape? Let's roll film.

Ouch, that didn't seem to go too well. Mr Steele, do you have a reaction?

Image

Rendered speechless I see. Well, lets move on to a topic you may be more comfortable with, you new move to remake the Republican party.
Republican National Committee chair Michael Steele, in an interview with the Washington Times, says he's planning an "off the hook" public relations offensive to attract young blacks and Hispanic voters.

The RNC's first black chairman will "surprise everyone" when updating the party's image using the Internet and advertisements on radio, on television and in print, he told The Washington Times.
...

"There was underlying concerns we had become too regionalized and the party needed to reach beyond our comfort" zones, he said, citing defeats in such states as Virginia and North Carolina. "We need messengers to really capture that region - young, Hispanic, black, a cross section ... We want to convey that the modern-day GOP looks like the conservative party that stands on principles. But we want to apply them to urban-surburban hip-hop settings."

Asked if this venture will be cutting-edge, Steele replied, "I don't do 'cutting-edge.' That's what Democrats are doing. We're going beyond cutting-edge."

Steele recently said that President Obama's stimulus was just "bling bling."
"Beyond cutting edge" you say?

Well, your plan has certainly been embraced by some members of your party, for example we have this clip of Michelle Bachmann supporting you whole heartedly.

*roll film*

Well Mr Steele, you couldn't ask for a more upstanding American then Rep Bachmann. But your views on how to revitalize the Republican party are not shared by everyone. Yes ladies and gentlemen, tonight we are not only joined by the head of the Republican National Committee, we will get a rebuttal from the head of the Republican National Party.... MR. RUSH. LIMBAUGH!!!!!!!

Mr. Limbaugh, it is an honor to have you with us here, an honor. Would you please grace us with some words of wisdom? Oh, I see your mouth is full. Is that one of our makeup artists you are digesting? Well since you are occupied, we will just read this transcript

BEGIN TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: I was not going to talk about Michael Steele. I have had e-mails from the Drive-By Media. I have had interview requests to be on television shows to talk about Michael Steele and what he said about my speech Saturday night. He was on CNN and I was going to ignore it, but so many of you are e-mailing me asking me to respond to this that I have changed my mind and I'm going to do so. Here is what has prompted all of the irritation at Michael Steele. He was on the D. L. Hughley show on CNN Saturday night, and the other voice you'll hear is the other guest, the rapper Chuck D. They had this exchange about me.

HUGHLEY: Rush Limbaugh, who is the de facto leader of the Republican Party --

STEELE: No, he's not.

HUGHLEY: Well, I'll tell you what, I've never --

STEELE: I'm the de facto leader of the Republican Party.

HUGHLEY: Then you know what? Then I can appreciate that, but no -- no one will -- will actually pry down some of the things he says, like when he comes out and says that he wants the president to fail, I understand he wants liberalism to fail.

STEELE: How is that any different than what was said about George Bush during his presidency? Let's put it into context here. Rush Limbaugh is an entertainer. Rush Limbaugh, the whole thing is entertainment. Yes, it's incendiary, yes, it's ugly --

RUSH: Okay, so I am an entertainer, and I have 20 million listeners, 22 million listeners because of my great song-and-dance routines here. Yes, said Michael Steele, the chairman of the Republican National Committee, I'm incendiary, and yes, it's ugly. Michael Steele, you are head of the RNC. You are not head of the Republican Party. Tens of millions of conservatives and Republicans have nothing to do with the RNC and right now they want nothing to do with it, and when you call them asking them for money, they hang up on you. I hope that changes. I hope the RNC will get its act together. I hope the RNC chairman will realize he's not a talking head pundit, that he is supposed to be working on the grassroots and rebuilding it, and maybe doing something about our open primary system and fixing it so that Democrats do not nominate our candidates. It's time, Mr. Steele, for you to go behind the scenes and start doing the work that you were elected to do instead of trying to be some talking head media star, which you're having a tough time pulling off. I hope you figure out how to run a primary system. But it seems to me that it's Michael Steele who is off to a shaky start.

My parents taught me when I was growing up that you always stood behind people who defended you, you never abandoned people who stood up for you and who defended you against assault. Michael Steele was a candidate for the Senate in Maryland. Michael Steele was on this program, he got airtime on this program to attempt to refute the lies being told about him by Michael J. Fox in those famous ads way back when that were also run against Jim Talent in Missouri. I personally took time to defend Michael Steele and to rip the substance of those ads, had him on the show. I went after Chuck Schumer when Chuck Schumer's former employee stole Michael Steele's private credit record information and released it. When I went to Washington a couple years ago for a personal appearance from my station there, WMAL, WMAL arranged for a number of dignitaries to meet me backstage. One of them was Michael Steele, who thanked me very much for coming to his defense. Something's happened. Now I'm just an entertainer and now I am ugly and my program is incendiary.

Michael Steele has been around long enough to know that the liberal media will use him by twisting what I say or what others say. He took the bait, he bit down hard on the bait, he launched an attack on me even though the premise of what was said to him was false. He took the bait and he went for it. Now, Mr. Steele, if it is your position as the chairman of the Republican National Committee that you want a left wing Democrat president and a left wing Democrat Congress to succeed in advancing their agenda, if it's your position that you want President Obama and Speaker Pelosi and Senate Leader Harry Reid to succeed with their massive spending and taxing and nationalization plans, I think you have some explaining to do. Why are you running the Republican Party? Why do you claim you lead the Republican Party when you seem obsessed with seeing to it that President Obama succeeds? I frankly am stunned that the chairman of the Republican National Committee endorses such an agenda. I have to conclude that he does because he attacks me for wanting it to fail.

This isn't complicated stuff here, folks. It's difficult to organize the defeat of Obama and the Democrat Congress in 2012, if we want to. It's going to be difficult enough, but on one hand it shouldn't be difficult at all. But it's going to be really hard, Mr. Steele, if you, as the chairman of the RNC, want Obama to succeed. Where does the Republican Party go if you, who are supposed to be redesigning our primary system and helping reestablish our grassroots movement, how are we going to retake elective office if you want this agenda of Obama's and Pelosi's and Reid's to succeed. My colleagues in talk radio can attest to this next point. We get press release after press release after press release from the Republican National Committee attacking the Democrat agenda. They send us points of refutation. I never use them 'cause I don't need them. But they send out all these points of refutation about how this part of what Dingy Harry wants or Pelosi wants is wrong, is wrong, is wrong. Why are you sending out these things, Mr. Steele? Why is your office sending out all these talking points to defeat the Democrat agenda in Congress if your position is you want it to succeed? And I don't understand why you're asking Republicans to donate to the Republican National Committee if their money is going to be spent furthering the agenda of Barack Obama.

If we don't want Obama and Reid and Pelosi to fail, then why does the RNC exist, Mr. Steele? Why are you even raising money? What do you want from us? If I want Obama and Democrats to succeed, I suppose we should be sending the RNC donations? You know, these people, it's a bizarre discussion to have because there's a news story on this, on this feud now between me and Michael Steele. And listen to this. This is a quote from RNC spokesman, Alex Conant, I'm not sure how he pronounces his last name. "The feud between radio host Rush and Rahm makes great political theater, but it is a sideshow to the important work going on in Washington. RNC Chairman Michael Steele and elected Republicans are focused on fighting for reform and winning elections. The Democrats' problem is that the American people are growing skeptical of the massive government spending being pushed by congressional leaders like [House Speaker] Nancy Pelosi."

Mr. Steele, your spokesman sounds like the RNC wants 'em to fail, to me. You're opposing 'em. You say the American people are growing weary of it, getting suspicious of it. But it's not just Pelosi's spending. It's Obama's. Where are your guts? Why can't you tie Obama to these policies? They're his! Where are your guts? (interruption) Snerdley, they don't want me doing the dirty work because when I go out there and, quote, unquote, do the dirty work, they try to cut me off at the knees for doing so. The point is, when you read that statement from Alex Conant, they're opposed to the Obama agenda, too, they're just too gutless to say so, and they get frightened when they hear the words, "I want Obama to fail." "Oh, no, no, no, we can't be associated with that." Yet you're sending out all these talking points designed to help people explain to other people why the Obama agenda is wrong. So I think it's bizarre. They put out statements and press releases damning Obama and Pelosi policies and they object when somebody like me says he doesn't want them to succeed.

Now, if it's the purpose of the Republican National Committee to urge the success of the Obama and congressional agenda, then stop sending these press releases here. I don't want 'em anymore. Stop sending all these quotes and facts and figures to prove how the Obama and Pelosi agenda is full of lies. I don't want to see it anymore, because you don't believe it. Why are you even sending these things out, Mr. Steele? It's amazing how many Republican politicians contact this show wanting on it. It's amazing how many Republicans want to come on this show. It's amazing how many send this show an endless number of press releases, their PR flacks are constantly sending me press releases and points, Congressman X saying this, special interest group X saying that, hoping I will mention it, hoping I will promote their cause. Why do they work so hard to be on this show? Why are they so eager to get me to take up their cause? I'm just an entertainer, ugly, incendiary, they say. We don't discuss current issues or policies or history or economics. So on the one hand, they had their PR flaks inundating me every day with this group or this congressman's doing that. I'm supposed to take it and make this or that congressman look good or this or that RNC chairman look good. And then they do what they do.

They chicken out when I happen to articulate exactly what their agenda really is. They don't have the guts to admit it, and I do. I'm going further and telling you today it's not that I want Obama to fail; that's not it anymore. The president is presiding over economic failure. The president is watching it, doing nothing about it. He's watching unemployment grow; he's watching the stock market plummet; he is watching people sign up for unemployment. The president of the United States is doing nothing to stop the downward spiral of this economy. He has no economic recovery plan. The truth is, the president of the United States and Rahm Emanuel, who, remember, said, "Crisis is too great a thing to waste." What does that mean? They want you suffering, they want you miserable, they want it worse, they want you rejecting conservatism. They want you rejecting capitalism. They want you turning to them in fear and desperation and angst for an immediate fix to the problem. They want you thinking you have no ability to fix your own problems. They think you have and they want you to have no ability to take care of yourself. So as the stock market now approaches minus 2,800 since Obama was elected, the statement today is to speed up the economic recovery, we're going to focus on health care. Ask yourself how that is going to get you your next job.

One other thing. Mr. Steele, if you want to lead the Republican Party, as you say you do, then you need to run for and win the presidency. You are chairman of the Republican National Committee. That is your job. To run the Republican establishment bureaucracy and prove you can defeat Democrats and elect Republicans, to come up with a new primary system that eliminates Democrats participating in ours and choosing our candidates and getting the grassroots revved up again. This is how you're going to be measured, not by how entertaining or cute you are on talk shows. By the same token, I'm not in charge of the Republican Party, and I don't want to be. I would be embarrassed to say that I'm in charge of the Republican Party in the sad-sack state that it's in. If I were chairman of the Republican Party, given the state that it's in, I would quit. I might get out the hari-kari knife because I would have presided over a failure that is embarrassing to the Republicans and conservatives who have supported it and invested in it all these years. I certainly couldn't say I am proud of the Republican Party, as I am leading the Republican Party. Right now the Republican Party needs to be led, and it will be. The next Republican president is going to be the head of the party. Last time I checked, I don't think Mr. Steele is running.

And finally, Mr. Steele, we do like to entertain people here. The audience is very smart, sir. They know the difference between entertainment, and they know the difference between deadly serious issues that affect their country. Don't underestimate the intelligence of this audience or Republicans and conservatives generally. The biggest problem with all of you who live inside the Beltway is you look out over America and you think you see idiocy and unsophisticated people, ignorant people, and when you're looking at liberal Democrats, largely you're correct, but your own voters are every bit as informed, involved, engaged, and caring, if not more so than you are. We don't care, first and foremost, about the success of the Republican Party. We care about the United States of America and its future, because we cherish it and love it, and we know what it is that made it the greatest nation on earth, and we don't hear you articulating that you understand that, not just you, Mr. Steele, but hardly anybody else in Washington, DC. So send those fundraising requests out, and, by the way, when you send those fundraising requests out, Mr. Steele, make sure you say, "We want Obama to succeed." So people understand your compassion. Republicans, conservatives, are sick and tired of being talked down to, sick and tired of being lectured to, and until you show some understanding and respect for who they are, you're going to have a tough time rebuilding your party.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Hey, psst, folks, just a little secret between us. Don't tell anybody, all right? This is just between us. Don't tell the Drive-Bys. The Drive-Bys were tuning in for that because they've been asking me for quotes on this. So the way they're gonna interpret -- and really don't tell anybody, this is between us, because I don't want this getting out beyond the show -- the way they are going to interpret what I just did in response to Michael Steele is, "Oh, this is great, this is great! Emanuel's strategy is working great, the Republican Party and Limbaugh are splitting apart, there's a feud, there's infighting." They will miss the whole point, and even if there are any Drive-Bys listening while I tell them the real point, they will reject it because it doesn't fit their template. What happened starting Saturday -- actually, CPAC started on Thursday, but what culminated with my speech on Saturday at CPAC was the reawakening of a huge sleeping giant that is ready to rumble, and that is American conservatism, which is found in the Democrat Party, it's found among independents, and it's found in the Republican Party.

More Americans live their lives as conservatives than you would believe. They don't get their paychecks and walk down the street and say, "Hi, you want some of this?" They'll vote for people who will do it for them, but they're trying to raise their kids right and make money, save money. They've got morality and values, most of them, not all, but most, they may not vote that way, but they live that way. They're waiting to be awakened and that awakening has started. The pressure is on the Republican Party to be more Democrat Party-like, and too many Republicans in Washington want to make that happen. Well, just the opposite is going to happen. The sleeping conservative giant has been awakened here. It's a beautiful thing.
Mr. Steele, he certainly took it to you. Do you have a similar, "no holds barred" response?
Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele says he has reached out to Rush Limbaugh to tell him he meant no offense when he referred to the popular conservative radio host as an “entertainer” whose show can be “incendiary.”

“My intent was not to go after Rush – I have enormous respect for Rush Limbaugh,” Steele said in a telephone interview. “I was maybe a little bit inarticulate. … There was no attempt on my part to diminish his voice or his leadership.”

The dust-up comes at a time when top Democrats are trying to make Limbaugh the face of the Republican Party, in part by using ads funded by labor. Americans United for Change sent a fund-raising e-mail Monday that begins: “The Republican Party has turned into the Rush Limbaugh Party.”

Steele told CNN host D.L. Hughley in an interview aired Saturday night: “Rush Limbaugh is an entertainer. Rush Limbaugh — his whole thing is entertainment. He has this incendiary — yes, it's ugly.”

Steele, who won a hard-fought chairman's race on Jan. 30, told Politico he telephoned Limbaugh after his show on Monday afternoon and hoped that they would connect soon.

“I went back at that tape and I realized words that I said weren’t what I was thinking,” Steele said. "It was one of those things where I thinking I was saying one thing, and it came out differently. What I was trying to say was a lot of people … want to make Rush the scapegoat, the bogeyman, and he’s not."

“I’m not going to engage these guys and sit back and provide them the popcorn for a fight between me and Rush Limbaugh,” Steele added. “No such thing is going to happen. … I wasn’t trying to slam him or anything.”

On Monday’s show, Limbaugh reacted both to the comment and to the assertion on CBS’s “Face the Nation” by White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel that the radio host is “the voice and the intellectual force and energy behind the Republican Party.”

See Also
Limbaugh blasts Steele, the GOP
Pelosi's list: Who's on her bad side?
Obama taps DeParle as health czar
Limbaugh said: “I'm not in charge of the Republican Party, and I don't want to be. I would be embarrassed to say that I'm in charge of the Republican Party in the sad-sack state that it's in. If I were chairman of the Republican Party, given the state that it's in, I would quit. I might get out the hari-kari knife because I would have presided over a failure that is embarrassing to the Republicans and conservatives who have supported it and invested in it all these years.”

On the RushLimbaugh.com home page, the transcript is labeled: “A Few Words for Michael Steele.”

On Monday night, DNC Chairman Tim Kaine called on Republicans to "stop following divisive figures" like Limbaugh.

"I was briefly encouraged by the courageous comments made my counterpart in the Republican Party over the weekend challenging Rush Limbaugh as the leader of the Republican Party and referring to his show as ‘incendiary’ and ‘ugly,’" Kaine said in a statement. "However, Chairman Steele’s reversal this evening and his apology to Limbaugh proves the unfortunate point that Limbaugh is the leading force behind the Republican Party, its politics and its obstruction of President Obama’s agenda in Washington."

In the interview with Politico, Steele called Limbaugh “a very valuable conservative voice for our party.”

“He brings a very important message to the American people to wake up and pay attention to what the administration is doing," Steele said. "Number two, there are those out there who want to look at what he’s saying as incendiary and divisive and ugly. That’s what I was trying to say. It didn’t come out that way. … He does what he does best, which is provoke: He provokes thought, he provokes the left. And they’re clearly the ones who are most excited about him.”

Asked if he planned to apologize, Steele said: “I wasn’t trying to offend anybody. So, yeah, if he’s offended, I’d say: Look, I’m not in the business of hurting people’s feelings here. … My job is to try to bring us all together.”

I see. Well, having heard from the man who speaks for the Republican National Committee and the man who speaks for the Republican Party, let's close our segment tonight with a few words from the man who speaks for the Republican voter: Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, or as you may know him, Joe the Plumber. Joe?
It's like a MadLib, isn't it? [Marginal unappealing GOP figurehead] criticized [unelected/unelectable GOP media mouthpiece] for [insane thing].

See, new RNC chairman Michael Steele masked a reasonable and quite necessary strategy—attracting youths and minorities to the GOP—in the stupidest language possible. But while people like us make fun of him for the language (and for being, generally, a buffoon), people like Joe "The Plumber" The Plumber are actually offended and frightened by the idea of a Republican party that isn't solely controlled by and for "regular people" or "real Americans" which means "aging white men." Like Joe the Plumber.

"Unfortunately we have a chairman up there who wants to redefine conservatism; he wants to make it hip hop, put it in a new package and sell it."

"You can't sell principles; either you have them or you don't," he added, to applause from the audience of 800 people.

Yeah! Your statement almost makes sense but doesn't really! Whoo! You can't put conservative principles in a new package and sell them, you have to have them, or not! Dammit! No colored music!

Later this month, Bristol Pail will criticize Jonathan Krohn for being a total dweeb, and then Ann Coulter will actually shoot David Brooks in the face, for the same reason.
Thanks Joe.




Well that's our show for tonight, join us next time when we are joined by Conservative Cartoonists
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by Patrick Degan »

So... I see Chucky-boy's decided to give up the acting gig and go to full-time paranoid nutjobbery.

I think I'll try to wade through the rest of that sludge with a brandy.
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by Rahvin »

So...at what point exactly does all of that talk of secession actually become intent to incite a revolt and qualify as treasonous?

The self-contradiction between their constant claims of patriotism and stated support for revolt and secession makes my head hurt.
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by Erik von Nein »

Oh, like these idiots are ever going to go through with something like revolting against the U.S. It's posturing bullshit and it always will be. These people make money hand-over-fist from the established media, which in no way has any interest in breaking up The U.S. They do, however, have a ton of interest in audiences, and they're appealing like Hell to people who harbor dreams of secession and revolt. But the most they'll ever do is a have a Ruby Ridge-esque shoot-out with the ATF/local police.

But, yeah, you have to realize they're patriots to the TRUE AMERICAN DREAM of good ol' hometown livin', where live was simple and all the other rose-colored-glasses views of America's past, not to any country that would elect someone who wasn't nutso-conservative. Then it makes sense that they're secessionist patriots.

Or something.
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by Uraniun235 »

and (totally not racist) Hapajap, the (not racist) webcartoonist of Right Left Center (we swear he didn't take down his old comic for being horrendously racist. That's a liberal lie, Hapajap is not a racist, he loves Japanese people, just look at that hand drawn avatar).
That scumbag Hapajap fell into financial ruin after rushing headlong into a pyramid scam. It would be truly hilarious if only he didn't also have a wife and kids. I don't think he's producing many comics any more.
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by Ford Prefect »

Ender, you just blew my fucking mind. I'm having trouble registering this as being real. Is Chuck Norris actually giving his opinion on how a fight between Jack Bauer and Walker, Texas Ranger, would go down? This is just plain kooky.
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by Darth Wong »

The big difference between the right and left: the left-wing kooks are relegated to obscurity. The right-wing kooks are made into prominent political figures. Both sides have their kooks, but for some reason the right-wing kooks are able to amass great fame, political power, and influence.
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by The Romulan Republic »

Erik von Nein wrote:Oh, like these idiots are ever going to go through with something like revolting against the U.S. It's posturing bullshit and it always will be. These people make money hand-over-fist from the established media, which in no way has any interest in breaking up The U.S. They do, however, have a ton of interest in audiences, and they're appealing like Hell to people who harbor dreams of secession and revolt. But the most they'll ever do is a have a Ruby Ridge-esque shoot-out with the ATF/local police.
I wouldn't be so confident when dealing with theocratic fanatics. I appreciate the value of free speech, but doesn't any of this cross the line into inciting violence? And if so, why not arrest the fucks for treason?

Wait, did I read the article rightly? These cells are going to meet on-air on March 13? So, I guess we'll know tomorrow weather their's going to be another civil war. :lol: I still wouldn't dismiss such claims lightly, however. Exaggerated posturing they may be, but they reflect an attitude that is a step down the path towards civil war. These are basically part of the same crowd of people that tried to link the President to terrorists and held rallies where the crowd called him a n****r. How long until the talk becomes action? (my money is on it happening as soon as the Christian Right and the Neocons realize the current GOP will never win another election)
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by General Zod »

Dildo wrote:GLENN: Oh, Chuck, let me tell you something. I've got to run but let me tell you something. You are exactly right. The best thing that you just said was had I listened to my gut.
NORRIS: Yeah.
GLENN: When America listens to her gut and stops listening to all the experts, we're going to be fine. Chuck Norris, we will talk to you again soon, my friend, and we'll see you on March 13th.
I think this little quote right here sums up everything that's wrong with the Republican party. Too many people listening to their "gut" and the ease that they're more than willing to dismiss any expert opinion that just happens to contradict their "gut".

Then there's this juicy little tidbit:
GLENN: Look, your time is coming, Chuck, because there's going to be two solutions that are going to be presented here and I think soon. This is not going to -- this can't last much longer. The way the rest of the world, it is going to start to come apart at its seams and then people are faced with a choice: Are they going to face it locally, are they going to become more like our founding or are we going to become a global government? Are we going to tie ourselves even more to the rest of the world? It's only going to go one of two ways. You know, Prime Minister Blair is in town and he's talking about a global --
NORRIS: Global, yeah.
GLENN: -- new deal. It looks like the government is going to go that way. But when it starts to unravel, you know, you're going to have a resetting, an opportunity to reset.
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by JLTucker »

Jesus Christ. I can't believe that two of my closest friends like Beck. I'll probably inquire as to why that is so later today.
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by VT-16 »

So, when can we expect Chuckie's little Beer Hall Putsch? Black Belt Patriotism sounds interesting as a manifest for a fringe lunatic, so he's halfway there.
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by PeZook »

"Black Belt Patriotism" sounds like Black Shirt Patriotism that couldn't affort an entire shirt :P

It's hard to say anything more serious about stuff like that. Witness this:
GLENN: When America listens to her gut and stops listening to all the experts, we're going to be fine. Chuck Norris, we will talk to you again soon, my friend, and we'll see you on March 13th.
When half of her population is significantly overweight, it certainly seems that America is already listening to her gut more than it should :D
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by Coyote »

So, Chuckles and Texas promise threaten to break away from the Union?

Really?

Awesome.

Another thing to bear in mind-- if Michael Moore had said this stuff, or any other "liberal" media figure, you can bet the Righties would be howling for a show trial and a hanging.

I'll be interested to know what is planned for tomorrow. I'll have to stay tuned to the cable news shows. I actually like all this; the more they get spun up and flustered and fap to their own insanity the bigger their eventual meltdown will be. I do have to wonder, though, if some nutjob or nutjob group (like a Klan or Neo-Nazi branch) actually goes off and starts a massacre, how high up the responsibility chain will we see any prosecutions? This is incitement, or it seems that way.
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by The Spartan »

Odd, this is the first I've heard of us seceeding. When did he become our representative? Certainly not for this asshole's sake.

And I see he's peddling the old myth that Texas still has the right to secede from the Union. Nice.
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by Kodiak »

What exactly is this whole March 13th thing? I looked around but couldn't find anything. Have they scheduled an armed rebellion, or is there some sort of broadcast happening? As a result of this interview I removed my "Daily Chuck Norris Jokes" gadget from my google homepage.
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by General Zod »

Kodiak wrote:What exactly is this whole March 13th thing? I looked around but couldn't find anything. Have they scheduled an armed rebellion, or is there some sort of broadcast happening? As a result of this interview I removed my "Daily Chuck Norris Jokes" gadget from my google homepage.
Uhh. . . .try reading the second article in Ender's OP.
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by Kodiak »

General Zod wrote:
Kodiak wrote:What exactly is this whole March 13th thing? I looked around but couldn't find anything. Have they scheduled an armed rebellion, or is there some sort of broadcast happening? As a result of this interview I removed my "Daily Chuck Norris Jokes" gadget from my google homepage.
Uhh. . . .try reading the second article in Ender's OP.
Yes, they're right wing "cells" united for a broadcast. I was looking for "what's the point of the broadcast".
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by General Zod »

Kodiak wrote: Yes, they're right wing "cells" united for a broadcast. I was looking for "what's the point of the broadcast".
My guess is typical right wing dickwaving about rugged individualism. There doesn't seem to be anymore solid info on what it's actually about, but there's not exactly a huge range of possibilities about what it could be.
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by Civil War Man »

The Romulan Republic wrote:I wouldn't be so confident when dealing with theocratic fanatics. I appreciate the value of free speech, but doesn't any of this cross the line into inciting violence? And if so, why not arrest the fucks for treason?
If you want to be technical, Chuck Norris was not committing treason.
Article III, Section 3 of the US Constitution wrote:Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.
His article falls much closer to sedition.
Smith Act of 1940 wrote:[To] knowingly or willfully advocate, abet, advise or teach the duty, necessity, desirability or propriety of overthrowing the Government of the United States or of any State by force or violence, or for anyone to organize any association which teaches, advises or encourages such an overthrow, or for anyone to become a member of or to affiliate with any such association.
Though I imagine that if pigs started becoming airborne and he was actually brought up on this, he would use a "I wasn't advocating violent overthrow" defense. I'm no law expert, though, so I can't really comment on it.
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by Samuel »

Didn't Lincoln have the same problem when dealing with the Copperheads?

Of course, if he was arrested for treason, the nuts would take it as verification...
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by Dominus Atheos »

Civil War Man wrote:
The Romulan Republic wrote:I wouldn't be so confident when dealing with theocratic fanatics. I appreciate the value of free speech, but doesn't any of this cross the line into inciting violence? And if so, why not arrest the fucks for treason?
If you want to be technical, Chuck Norris was not committing treason.
Article III, Section 3 of the US Constitution wrote:Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.
If it's armed secession, it would probably fall under "levying war against them (the United States)".
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by Civil War Man »

Dominus Atheos wrote:If it's armed secession, it would probably fall under "levying war against them (the United States)".
It would, however there is currently no armed secession. And since there is no armed secession, Chuck is neither levying war nor providing aid and comfort to those who would be levying said war.

It's easy to throw the word treason around, but it is sedition at most unless cannon start firing and people choose sides.
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by Knife »

Civil War Man wrote:
Dominus Atheos wrote:If it's armed secession, it would probably fall under "levying war against them (the United States)".
It would, however there is currently no armed secession. And since there is no armed secession, Chuck is neither levying war nor providing aid and comfort to those who would be levying said war.

It's easy to throw the word treason around, but it is sedition at most unless cannon start firing and people choose sides.

True in the legal sense, but in the actual definition of the word, treason works too.
They say, "the tree of liberty must be watered with the blood of tyrants and patriots." I suppose it never occurred to them that they are the tyrants, not the patriots. Those weapons are not being used to fight some kind of tyranny; they are bringing them to an event where people are getting together to talk. -Mike Wong

But as far as board culture in general, I do think that young male overaggression is a contributing factor to the general atmosphere of hostility. It's not SOS and the Mess throwing hand grenades all over the forum- Red
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by Civil War Man »

True in the legal sense, but in the actual definition of the word, treason works too.
The reason I brought it up in the legal sense were the comments earlier asking where the line was between Chuck Norris' secessionist posturing and treason. In such a context, the US's legal definition of treason becomes a very important distinction, particularly since it is defined more narrowly here than it is in a lot of other countries.
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Re: ITT I faux interview some GOPers crazier than shithouse rats

Post by Darth Wong »

JLTucker wrote:Jesus Christ. I can't believe that two of my closest friends like Beck. I'll probably inquire as to why that is so later today.
One of the sad things about life is that one finds it is virtually impossible to go through life without accumulating at least a few friends who believe in some really stupid shit.

The sticking point is that you befriend people long before you realize that they believe in stupid shit, and if you're a nice guy, you're probably reluctant to "de-friend" someone on that basis alone. Most people would just try to avoid any kind of political discussion with such friends in future.
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"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing

"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC

"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness

"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.

http://www.stardestroyer.net/Mike/RantMode/Blurbs.html
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