A foul mouthed bogan represents himself in the courtroom.

[bobalot]

A foul mouthed bogan represents himself in the courtroom and hilarity ensues.

Foul-mouth jailed for attempted murder

AN explosion of filthy language more likely to be heard in a bar or on a rugby field than in a supreme court spewed from the mouth of a man on attempted murder charges.

David Allan Baker, who also uses the surname Baldwin, had just sacked his solicitor which resulted in his entire legal team withdrawing just before his trial was about to begin.

What followed was a tirade directed at Justice Martin Daubney where he called the judge a "silly old c***", "fatso" and "lardarse".

He told the justice to "stick your trial up your f***ing arse" and told him to order a pizza too.

Despite Baldwin interrupting the justice at every turn, usually swearing, Justice Daubney remained calm.

"Yeah, I don't know what you're f***in' talking about, you silly old c***," Baker said.

"Thank you for that submission," Justice Daubney said.

In another exchange, Baker asked the justice if he wanted "a Mickey Mouse badge".

"Stick it on your fat chest? Hey? What do you want? A Mickey Mouse badge. Come on fatso, what have you got to say for that?," Baker said.

APN could not publish these comments previously because it could have been prejudicial to the man's trial if a juror had read it.

Baker was about to move to Gladstone to work when he stabbed his former girlfriend in the heart with a knife at her Bray Park home on November 2, 2009.

A jury found him guilty late on Thursday.

He was sentenced to 15 years jail on Friday.

The transcript of his rant has been sent to the Department of Public Prosecutions for its consideration.

The full transcript of the initial exchange is below.

Justice Martin Daubney: I have been informed, Mr Baker, that you wish to dispense with the services of your solicitor and as a consequence of that your barrister is also seeking leave to withdraw, which means you will be self-represented for this trial. Do you understand that?

Baker: Yes.

Justice: So you'll be representing yourself for this trial, do you understand?

Baker: No, no way in the world.

Justice: Yes, way in the world.

Baker: I'll get a new solicitor and barrister.

Justice: No, you tried that last time, Mr Baker.

Baker: Look, now listen here, mate, you don't know what you're f***ing talking about.

Justice: Now you listen to me.

Baker: Don't blooming start your sh**, right, mate.

Justice: You listen here Mr Baker.

Baker: You weren't f***ing there so don't start your crap.

Justice: Mr Baker.

Baker: Were you there?

Justice: Mr Baker.

Baker: Were you there? Were you there? No you f***ing weren't.

Justice: Mr Baker.

Baker: Because the arseholes did the wrong thing. Right? Read your f***ing paragraph or scripts, mate. Don't start putting your f***ing heavy crap on me.

Justice: Now, Mr Baker...

Baker: You can get stuffed.

Justice: ...the trial will be...

Baker: I don't give a ...

Justice: ...proceeding....

Baker: ...f***, you and your trial mate. Stick your trial up your f***ing arse. I'll go.

Justice: Sit down please Mr Baker.

Baker: No, get stuffed.

Justice: Oh, all right. Now, Mr Baker, the trial will be proceeding. There is one matter that does need to be attended to. The principal witness for the Crown in this trial is a person who has the status of a ...

Baker: I don't even know why you're f***ing talking about mate. Talk in normal lingo, language.

Justice: The complainant in respect of the count of attempted murder is a person who ...

Baker: Who are you f***ing talking about?

Justice: ... is a...

Baker: Stop talking in riddles.

Justice: ... is a protected witness under the Evidence Act and for the purposes of the trial, you will not be ...

Baker: I don't know what you're f***ing talking about.

Justice: Well, if you stop shouting at me and listen to what I'm saying you might start understand.

Baker: What do you want me to f***ing do?

Justice: What I want you to do is stop swearing at me and listen to me.

Baker: I'm not going to f***ing stop swearing at you.

Justice: All right then, it's a matter for you.

Baker: Stick your f***ing trial up your ass.

Justice: That won't be happening to me.

Baker: I couldn't give a sh** mate.

Justice: Well, that's a matter for you.

Baker: Well you can start your trial and stick it up your arse cause I'm not having anything to do with it.

Justice: Sit down.

Baker: No you get f***ed.

Justice: Sit down.

Baker: Go and get f***ed.

Justice: Sit down, please.

Baker: I'm not f***ing doing what you say. Up you.

Justice: Sit down.

Baker: You're not going to f***ing tell me I'm going to be representing meself at all. I need legal aid. I need representation and not you and or any other f***ing arseholes gonna tell me anything different.

Justice: Sit down, please.

Baker: No, get stuffed.

Justice: If you don't sit down I'll have you manacled.

Baker: You can f***ing have what you like mate.

Justice: Corrective Services could you please restrain the accused..

Baker: F*** you.

Justice: Mr Bailiff, could you ask security to attend the court please.

Baker: Do what you f***ing like. I've got no representation so that's it I'm not listening. I don't give a damn what you say .

Justice: The next people entering the court are the court security staff.

Baker: Oh, what do you want me to do? What do you want, a Mickey Mouse badge?

Justice: No.

Baker: Stick it on your fat chest? Hey? What do you want? A Mickey Mouse badge. Come on fatso, what have you got to say for that?

Baker: Oh, the mouse has gone quiet.

Justice: Security could I ask you to take up positions immediately behind the accused. If he moves from that chair you are to assist the corrective services personnel in restraining him. You are not to move, do you understand me Mr Baker.

Baker: Get f****d.

Justice: Mr Baker, because (Margaret) Revesz ...

Baker: Listen here lardarse, no f*** you. I don't give a f***ing sh** what you say.

Justice: Because Ms R...

Baker: I don't give a sh** what you f***in' say.

Justice: ... is a protected witness ...

Baker: I'm telling you now you can get f***ed. All right?

Justice: ... the law requires ...

Baker: Are you stupid or what? I don't give a sh** what you f***in' say.

Justice: ... that I arrange for you to be given free legal assistance by Legal Aid.

Baker: I don't give a f***. I couldn't give a sh** what you say. What, are you deaf?

Justice: ... for the cross-examination of that protected witness....

Baker: Hey, lard arse, can't you f***in' hear me?

Justice: ... unless you arrange for legal representation ..

Baker: What are you deaf?

Justice: ... or unless you do not want that protected witness to be cross-examined.

Baker: What the f***in' talking about, I don't know what you're f***in' talking about, lard arse.

Justice: Is there anything that you want to say in relation to me making an order ...

Baker: Yeah, I don't know what you're f***in' talking about, you silly old c***.

Justice: Thank you for that submission, in which case I order...

Baker: Well, you can f***in' order what you like.

Justice: ... that Ms R...

Baker: Order me a f***in' pizza while you're at it.

Justice: ... is a protected witness for this proceeding ...

Baker: Who gives a sh**.

Baker: Wait, what are these two f***heads doing here then if they're not f***in' representing me?

Justice: I give you leave to withdraw. Thankyou both very much for your assistance.

Baker: Yeah, piss off. F***in dogs.

Some discussion about the trial opening...

Baker: What's this f***in' opening brief and that you're talking about, lardarse?

Justice: If your opening is going to be that short then you'll want to call the complainant pretty well straight away.

Crown prosecutor: That's so, yes. I would submit the most prudent course is perhaps to allow the panel to go and then look to empanelling them tomorrow.

Justice: Yes, all right then. Now, Mr Baker, you can continue to interrupt me or you can listen to what I'm going to say.

Baker: I don't give a f***, I need representation.

Justice: No we're beyond that stage.

Baker: No, hey, listen here you f***in' stupid old c***, I've got f***in' paperwork here, if you weren't so pigheaded and using your big f***in' fat lard arse, you might have f***in' read it before you f***in' jumped the gun, eh, but no, you had your f***in' cocking mates here going on like a two bob f***in' watch. I never said anything about f***in' Don MacKenzie. I had a complaint against Ken f***in' MacKenzie, right, not my barrister. I had nothing to complain about him, it was the other f***in' prick and I wrote you a letter to f***in' explain why.

Justice: was there anything else you wanted to say to me at the moment?

Baker: Yeah, why don't you f***in' read it and see why I wanted to - what was it - blimmin' to adjourn for a while. There was a f***in' reason for it.

Justice: No, there's no adjournments, Mr Baker, you've had ...

Baker: Well, I don't give a stuff. You can't f***in' sentence me or do anything because I'm doing a plea. The thing was when I got my plea overturned last f***in' time, did you read it, why - what happened was because the barrister and solicitor stuffed up. I was putting in a complaint about Ken MacKenzie not revealing the parts I needed for my trial but you wouldn't listen.

Justice: Thankyou for that information. Now what's going to happen is this ...

Baker: I don't give a sh** what happens, anyone comes in here, I'll f***in disturb and I'll run amok.

Justice: Not in my courtroom you won't.

Baker: Hey, don't f***in' tell me I f***in' won't mate.

Justice: Not in my courtroom you won't.

Baker: You think these f***in' jokers are going to worry me? Or the screws, what are you going to f***in' do?

Justice: Whether they worry you or not is a matter for you.

Baker: What are you going to f***in' do to me.

Justice: What I'm going to do to you is tell you that your trial is starting tomorrow.

Baker: Oh no f***in' way mate.

Justice: Oh yes, your trial is starting tomorrow.

Baker: You want a f***in' bet? You want a f***in' bet? I'll tell you what, I'll make a f***in' bet, I'll make a bet with you and I tell you what, you'll lose your f***in' fat arse. I'll put myself in medical, you c***. I'll f***in' slash up or I'll do something. You don't f***in' threaten me you f***in' dog.

Justice: You can take the accused down, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow morning at 10 o'clock.

Baker: no I f***in' won't, I tell you f***in' now, you f***in' lard arse.

Justice: Thank you for coming up gentleman, I'm grateful. I was actually called much worse things on the rugby paddock you know.

Source

[Blayne]

I'm continuously saddened at the self destructive impulses within the worst of us, I pity him because with proper representation, common sense and a calm demeanour he probably at a minimum would not serve for so long. Then again if he were calm he might not have committed attempted murder, though I do not know the details of the case.

[Eleas]

I'm sorry, but these ellipses just kill it for me. When I have to go search-replace a news posts and insert curses to attain meaning (presumably because a mouth-breather was afraid of accidental demon summoning while transcribing it), then a summary would be as accurate and far more informative.

Or maybe I should go with the flow and just w***e s***f l**e t**s a** t** ****. That would certainly convey meaning.

[Stofsk]

This is the funniest shit. I bet the judge felt enormously gratified when he sentenced him.

[mr friendly guy]

I'm sorry, but these ellipses just kill it for me. When I have to go search-replace a news posts and insert curses to attain meaning (presumably because a mouth-breather was afraid of accidental demon summoning while transcribing it), then a summary would be as accurate and far more informative.

Or maybe I should go with the flow and just w***e s***f l**e t**s a** t** ****. That would certainly convey meaning.

Presumably this case happened in Australia. The country where our politicians debate Gordon Ramsay saying fuck on television shows, all the while some politicians blatantly make racist comments. Because clearly the word fuck is much more scarier than racism. Yes sirree.

[Spyder]

Baker: Stick your f***ing trial up your ass.
Justice: That won't be happening to me.

Burn.

[weemadando]

Now MFG, how many times do I have to make this clear.

Our politicians never actually call them anything racist. And we all know that if you don't use a slur, then you can't possibly be being racist. After all, I know lots of successful white men who also spend a lot of time on their boats, you could just as easily call them boat people. This is not derogatory at all.

[Akhlut]

I'm surprised that went on as long as it did. In the US, that guy would have been tossed out the court AND charged with contempt of court. Why does Australia allow for someone to sit there and interrupt the court like that?

[Stofsk]

Who says they don't? This judge may be new to the bench, he may be inexperienced, and he may even have erred in ruling against a stay of proceedings or an adjournment (which the accused, as he was unrepresented, had requested, and which was denied; while there is no absolute rule that a judge must stay proceedings if the accused is unrepresented, the High Court in Dietrich v The Queen concluded that in most cases a judge 'should' stay or adjourn proceedings). But this is just one single experience.

Incidentally that case involved Olaf Dietrich aka Hugo Rich, who is pretty infamous down here for giving whichever poor judge who cops him in his court a miserable presiding experience. (hit: because he's a cunt)

[madd0ct0r]

Who says they don't? This judge may be new to the bench, he may be inexperienced, and he may even have erred in ruling against a stay of proceedings or an adjournment (which the accused, as he was unrepresented, had requested, and which was denied; while there is no absolute rule that a judge must stay proceedings if the accused is unrepresented, the High Court in Dietrich v The Queen concluded that in most cases a judge 'should' stay or adjourn proceedings). But this is just one single experience.

Incidentally that case involved Olaf Dietrich aka Hugo Rich, who is pretty infamous down here for giving whichever poor judge who cops him in his court a miserable presiding experience. (hit: because he's a cunt)

From the opening part of the transcript, it seems the guy's defense strategy was to fire his lawyers just before the trial in order to get an ajournment .

Justice: So you'll be representing yourself for this trial, do you understand?

Baker: No, no way in the world.

Justice: Yes, way in the world.

Baker: I'll get a new solicitor and barrister.

Justice: No, you tried that last time, Mr Baker.

[Stofsk]

That's why I said 'may have erred'. I feel confident that this judge is in the all-clear, but I'm not a judge either so I don't know.

He could also have been found guilty of contempt and was sentenced concurrently and that just wasn't reported. EDIT Or the DPP may be reviewing the transcript for a possible future charge of contempt. Frankly, of attempted murder and contempt, the former is obviously the more serious charge, and he got 15 years for it. There are people who are found guilty of manslaughter who don't get that much.

[bilateralrope]

From the opening part of the transcript, it seems the guy's defense strategy was to fire his lawyers just before the trial in order to get an ajournment .

I remember seeing something like that in an episode of Boston Legal, except the guy switched law firms. The judge didn't grant the delay to let the new lawyers get up to speed on the case.

It's a stupid move to try and copy a plan from a TV courtroom, especially when the plan didn't work there.

[tim31]

I'm surprised that went on as long as it did. In the US, that guy would have been tossed out the court AND charged with contempt of court. Why does Australia allow for someone to sit there and interrupt the court like that?

The exchange almost certainly took longer to read than it was spoken, if I know bogans right, each line by Baker was begun as early as the second syllable spoken by the judge.

[Dr. Trainwreck]

Golden. You see, there comes a time in a man's life when he will be judged by another man who has the power to take his freedom away from him. Are you courteous, respectful, and try to appease this powerful man? Pussy. Take the badass way out, which is to cuss and antagonize him as much as you can. For extra badass, try a strategy you saw on TV. That showed 'em, and your story will become more popular among inmates than knock-knock jokes. Well done sir.

Shit, I'm bad at this. I meant to write something hilarious.