After brutally beating a man with his Nike Jordan shoes, a pimp filed a $100 million lawsuit against Nike for not providing a warning label that their shoes could be used as a dangerous weapon.
In June, Sirgiorgio Sanford Clardy, 26, or Portland, Ore., repeatedly stomped on the face of a client with his Jordan shoes when the man refused to pay Clardy's prostitute. The man required stitches and plastic surgery after the beating, The Oregonian reports.
The newspaper reports that the jury also found Clardy guilty of robbing the man and beating the 18-year-old woman he forced to work as his prostitute; her injuries were so severe that she bled from her ears.
Clardy, who is representing himself, is asking a Multnomah County judge to order Nike to put warning labels on all their "potentially dangerous Nike and Jordan merchandise."
Clardy handwrote a three-page complaint from the Eastern Oregon Correctional Institution in Pendleton where he is incarcerated, the newspaper reports.
The complaint says that Nike "failed to warn of risk or to provide an adequate warning or instruction" that their shoes are a "potentially dangerous product."
Given the sort of piece of shit "shoes" the average pair of Michael Jordans are I'm surprised they held together long enough to cause injury.
This is a nuisance lawsuit brought by someone with nothing better to do.
A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory.Leonard Nimoy.
Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.- Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of Serenity, which sums up my feelings regarding the lawsuit discussed here.
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. - John F. Kennedy
Esquire wrote:The worst part is, shoes might just wind up with warning labels because of this.
Not likely. First of all because no jury is likely to award Clardy a large sum of money for kicking someone in the head. Second, because you can quite easily cause the listed level of damage to someone's face barefoot; shoes are not required even if they help. Third, because almost anything can be used as a blunt instrument, and there is no precedent for labeling every bulky object "warning, may be used as a blunt instrument."
Fourth and finally, Clardy lacks standing to sue because he wasn't harmed in any way. Which is the thing most likely to get this case summarily dismissed by the judge five minutes after it enters their courtroom.
This basically tells you everything you need to know about how far this lawsuit is going to go.
Spoiler alert: not very.
"How can I wait unknowing?
This is the price of war,
We rise with noble intentions,
And we risk all that is pure..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, Forever (Rome: Total War)
"On and on, through the years,
The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon
"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." - Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight
These kinds of shoes have repeatedly tried to warn us of the dangers of Broke Ankles and other hazards resulting from wear, so I'm not sure he has a shoe to stand on with regard to this bit of nonsense.
