Flooding Now important Ss London Seriously Affected

[Zaune]

NewsThump

The floods affecting the country have finally been declared ‘important’ after the river flowing directly to the heart of London was affected.

With river levels along the Thames rising over eight feet in places, and with many celebrity homes and bankers’ properties in danger of succumbing to the water, the nation’s capital has seen a huge change in attitude to the floods.

As one Londoner explained, “A few fields in Somerset is one thing – I mean, it’s literally hundreds of miles away in a place no-one cares about.”

“When they put it on the news for a bit last week I just wanted to fast forward to the football scores.”

“But now we’re talking here about multi-million pound riverside homes belonging to some very influential people.”

“The water has got so high Bankers aren’t able to get to work – serious stuff and something must be done!”

“What will happen when it actually reaches London? Martial Law? We should withdraw all of this support for the little people dotted around the place and get them back here to protect us important folk in the capital.”

Flooding on the Thames

Meanwhile the rest of the country has admitted that watching London and the surrounding areas succumb to the floods should really be on pay-per-view television.

Manchester resident Simon Williams told us, “I honestly can’t think of anything better than sitting back with a bag of popcorn, a cold six-pack and watching cockneys flailing about in London in rubber dinghies.”

“With a bit of luck we’ll get to see Boris Johnson piss wet through and holding a mop before long.”

“If a few of them got swept out into the North Sea, then I could live with that.”

“Who knows, such a cleansing flood might leave London worth visiting again.”

Yes, it's satire, but it's not all that far off some people's real attitudes.

[Dartzap]

Cameron must be dead chuffed, people have really taken to his Big Society plans!

Other than the rails being annihilated and making my commute triple in length, its not been that bad in South Devon.

[Purple]

How serious is the situation overall anyway?

[Zaune]

Not many actual fatalities, but a lot of houses made uninhabitable and probably crops ruined, and a few places have been rendered inaccessible except by boat or helicopter.

[Dartzap]

Yeah, even though we keep getting pounded by 70-100mph winds, nothing as yet as been pancaked. Although the starbucks in Exeter was reporting a leaky roof.

[Zaune]

We've escaped the worst of it here in the Midlands too, though I dare say the flood defences we put in ten years ago have been getting a workout.

[Purple]

We've escaped the worst of it here in the Midlands too, though I dare say the flood defences we put in ten years ago have been getting a workout.

What are the odds of them failing catastrophically?

[Zaune]

I have no idea, but probably not high; failing catastrophically was pretty much exactly what they did around the turn of the millennium, largely because they hadn't seen any upkeep maintenance since Guns N' Roses were still relevant. Lots of expensive waterfront property got wrecked and some big local businesses lost a lot of stock and equipment, a great many people with money and influence cut up very stroppy about it.

Besides, we're far enough inland that the worst of the storm systems have usually blown themselves out by the time they reach us; it's been cold, wet and miserable but not unusually so for the time of year.

[EnterpriseSovereign]

People have been slamming the government for cutting funding for flood defence after the last election 3 years ago- I don't envy DC's position right now.

I'm in Wiltshire, lucky the housing estates where we are aren't affected- same can't be said for the nearby fields. The worst we've had is non-stop rain for the last few weeks and some seriously high winds. Despite getting the military involved and everything the overwhelming feeling is that the country has been caught with its collective pants down and the government/environment agency is failing miserably at dealing with it.

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Cameron must be dead chuffed, people have really taken to his Big Society plans!

I wonder how long it'll be after the floods that he brings it up- assuming he's still Prime Minister that is

What did surprise me that it took until the 3rd episode of the current series of Top Gear for them to mention that the Hovervan they built last year was designed for the very conditions that are currently affecting parts of the country. It's been going on for what, 6-8 weeks now?

[Zaune]

What did surprise me that it took until the 3rd episode of the current series of Top Gear for them to mention that the Hovervan they built last year was designed for the very conditions that are currently affecting parts of the country. It's been going on for what, 6-8 weeks now?

The BBC likes to film non-current affairs programming well in advance of the airdate; sometimes they don't even air the premiere until a whole thirteen-episode season is written, shot and edited. They were probably on Day 3 of the flooding at the time.

[Starglider]

“With a bit of luck we’ll get to see Boris Johnson piss wet through and holding a mop before long.”

I did see him wandering around near the train station at the bottom of our road. Some of the nearby streets have essentially been converted into a river via artificial banks on each side. The underpass in the large roundabout just north of us was converted into a storage pool; it's full now but I think it bought time to get alternate release channels in place.

[EnterpriseSovereign]

What did surprise me that it took until the 3rd episode of the current series of Top Gear for them to mention that the Hovervan they built last year was designed for the very conditions that are currently affecting parts of the country. It's been going on for what, 6-8 weeks now?

The BBC likes to film non-current affairs programming well in advance of the airdate; sometimes they don't even air the premiere until a whole thirteen-episode season is written, shot and edited. They were probably on Day 3 of the flooding at the time.

While it's true that the bulk of the stuff not done in the studio is done weeks beforehand (in fact the last few series in the first ep they have a clip show showing what's ahead), the studio portion of Top Gear is actually shot on the Wednesday prior to the actual airing.

When they mention handing the car over to the Stig, they make reference to some news event that happened that week in the "Some say" part. And each series is only on average 7 episodes long, a fact that Clarkson has criticised the BBC for.

Here's hoping the weather returns to some semblance of normality soon.