Silvio Berlusconi heading for Strasbourg again...

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-10-22 02:42pm

*The following is a work of fiction* *No, I didn't write it*

The European Parliament, Strasbourg. MEPs rise ot their feet as a small, balding man makes his way into the chamber, grinning broadly as he makes his way to the President's chair. He is followed by a larger, skinny man holding a small hammer and a bell.

Silvio Berlusconi:Friends, Europeans, countrymen. Heh-heh. I have come to praise Berlusconi, not to bury him. As we have had some disagreement in the past about my...exuberance...today I have brought with me my public relations advisor to keep me straight. If I say anything he really thinks I shouldn't have, he'll ring the bell. That should allow you stuffed-shirt waffling euro gravy-train snouts to accept my fun-loving irony with a bare minimum of the pansy-assed, limp-wristed drama we've seen in the past. OK?

Uproar. Bell rings, and Berlusconi stares at the PR advisor in consternation.

SB:That was bad? Mamma mia, I had no idea. Well, I shall try harder. Today, I shall offend nobody. Certainly, I would never compare my honourable German friend to a concentration camp guard/

German MEP:(Gruffly) Just as vell.

SB:Although I am thinking that you have lost a lot of weight over the recess, hey? Perhaps I would be better comparing you to a victim?

Uproar. Bell rings

SB:Oh, come on! That was funny!

German MEP:Most assuredly, it vas not.

SB:Well how would you know? The day a German gets a joke is the day an Englishman gets some sex, hey?

Bell rings.

British MEP:I say, that’s not quite on, old boy.

SB Well, you don’t like the Germans either, do you? Remember Dresden? They are even less funny that those French with their pathetic mimes!

Bell rings.

French MEP:Mon dieu! This is fighting talk!

SB:Fighting talk? You actually recognize fighting talk? Raised voices and you lot raise the white flag, eh?

Bell rings, repeatedly.

SB:(Chuckling) Ah, this is great fun. So, to business. What do we have on the agenda now?

French MEP: (Acidly) Ze constitution. A leetle matter.

SB:Little? Why do you say little?

German MEP: (Slyly) I qvite agree. The proposed constitution of Europe is in no way a diminutive or insignificant thing, iz it? Unlike ze physical constitution of…

British MEP:Please, enough small talk. Let us raise the debate to a higher level, eh?

SB: (Furiously) Diminuitive? Insignificant? Small talk? Are the members of parliament trying to mock me?

French MEP:Not at all. This parliament holds the President in the highest regard…all 5ft 5in of him.

SB:How dare you! I am taller than that!

German MEP:(Aside) Ja, right, on stilts, perhaps.

British MEP:Now now, no need to be a heel.

Widespread laughter.

SB:(Rounding on his PR Advisor) What the hell is the matter with you? Ring the damn bell!

PR Advisor:But…you didn’t say anything.

SB:So? Dio, are you laughing as well? Even you?

PR Advisor:Well, it’s just…funny.

SB:Funny? Funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I’m here to make you laugh? I’m here to f***’in amuse you?

German MEP:Hah! Now we see ze true nature of the Italian!

SB:Oh, get out of here. Goose-step back to your Fuhrer in Berlin, hey?

Bell rings

SB:(Furious) What’s your problem? You ring the bell for my comments, not for his?

PR Advisor:But I thought, I didn’t know that…

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-10-22 03:00pm

BWAHAHAHAHA.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2003-10-22 03:01pm

ROFL!

*falls out of his chair*

Sarevok · Post by **Sarevok** » 2003-10-23 09:28am

Very funny. Wonder what if Berlusconi actualy did something like this.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-10-23 10:48am

ROFLMAO!

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-10-24 09:58am

evilcat4000 wrote:Very funny. Wonder what if Berlusconi actualy did something like this.

I'm sure he would simply backpedal rapidly...