Homeland security grants to podunk, nowhere USA

Alan Bolte · Post by **Alan Bolte** » 2004-03-04 12:42am

Somebody up the pork estimates.

Fire Fly · Post by **Fire Fly** » 2004-03-04 03:33am

Ooh...my hometown is famous! At last!........I'm so lonely....

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2004-03-04 09:58am

Wow...at least it isn't stupid pork, this pork at least somewhat helps the community...

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-03-04 10:54am

What a wonderful un-intentional bitchslap of big govenmnet and federalism. If only we could get the lefties to make the connection that the inherent wastefulness of big govenment federalism extends into govenment social spending as well .... no, thats too logical.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2004-03-04 10:59am

Wayne: "Say, I smell bacon, does anyone else smell bacon?"
Garth: "Yeah, I definately smell a pork product of some type."

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2004-03-04 02:38pm

I'm half-surprised it's not my own hometown that's listed. The police chief is a paranoid nut who is firmly convinced that the local annual small country music festival they have is a potential target for a terrorist attack.

When I questioned him, he actually started pulling out numbers of police he wanted for security, the horrid security holes that existed, the amount of additional state funding he wanted, and so on. Then he started claiming that
a) The USSR developed suitcase nukes.
b) Many of these suitcase nukes are missing.
c) Having obtained a suitcase nuke, a terrorist will think, "I will take this to a small country music festival in the middle of freakin' nowhere in the asscrack of Georgia and set it off. That will put the fear of Allah in these infidels!"

Not kidding.

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2004-03-04 03:00pm

Should have explained that those suitcase nukes probably wouldn't even work properly any more.

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2004-03-04 03:06pm

Uraniun235 wrote:Should have explained that those suitcase nukes probably wouldn't even work properly any more.

Probably, but I was too shocked from his assertion that all I could muster up was, "No they didn't!"

He also claimed at a previous time that engineering and science weren't true professions because they weren't "ancient" enough. I suppose the Roman aquaducts just designed and built themselves. Do you really think logic would have worked against a nut like him?

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2004-03-04 03:16pm

well there is a school of thought that an attack in a smaller second-tier city or perhaps a town would have a devestating psycological effect. Right now terrorism is viewed as a NYC, DC and to a lesser degree Los Angeles problem. A strike on a smaller population center would have people everywhere running around saying "holy shit, if they hit Lubbock Texas or Boise, Idaho.... then they'll hit anywhere!"

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2004-03-04 04:29pm

Col. Crackpot wrote:well there is a school of thought that an attack in a smaller second-tier city or perhaps a town would have a devestating psycological effect. Right now terrorism is viewed as a NYC, DC and to a lesser degree Los Angeles problem. A strike on a smaller population center would have people everywhere running around saying "holy shit, if they hit Lubbock Texas or Boise, Idaho.... then they'll hit anywhere!"

Kind of like how no one gave a fuck about decades of school shootings until they moved out of the cities and started happing in small Midwest towns.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2004-03-04 04:54pm

meh. this is idiotic. if they're going to do anything with that money at all it should be giving it to towns that actually need it and have high crime rates, not dinky towns in the middle of nowhere that have a crime rate of almost zero. . . .

Post by **Colonel Olrik** » 2004-03-04 06:49pm

Sea Skimmer wrote:
Col. Crackpot wrote:well there is a school of thought that an attack in a smaller second-tier city or perhaps a town would have a devestating psycological effect. Right now terrorism is viewed as a NYC, DC and to a lesser degree Los Angeles problem. A strike on a smaller population center would have people everywhere running around saying "holy shit, if they hit Lubbock Texas or Boise, Idaho.... then they'll hit anywhere!"
Kind of like how no one gave a fuck about decades of school shootings until they moved out of the cities and started happing in small Midwest towns.

That same thought has of course crossed many portuguese governmental minds. Of course, Lisbon has nowhere the levels of security awareness of London, so it would be a lot easier and psychological devastating to do a major terrorist attack there. In reality, I doubt Bin Laden knows Portugal is not part of Spain.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2004-03-04 07:10pm

It's not?

*Suddenly, Howedar realized why no one expects the Portuguese Inquisition.*