Thursday, January 13, 2005 Posted: 12:33 PM EST (1733 GMT)
HEMPSTEAD, New York (AP) -- Did you hear the one about the two guys arrested for telling lawyer jokes?
It happened this week to the founders of a group called Americans for Legal Reform, who were waiting in line to get into a Long Island courthouse.
"How do you tell when a lawyer is lying?" Harvey Kash reportedly asked Carl Lanzisera.
"His lips are moving," they said in unison.
While some waiting to get into the courthouse giggled, a lawyer farther up the line Monday was not laughing.
He told them to pipe down, and when they did not, the lawyer reported the pair to court personnel, who charged them with disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor.
"They just can't take it," Kash said of lawyers in general. "This violates our First Amendment rights."
Dan Bagnuola, a spokesman for the Nassau County courts, said the men were "being abusive and they were causing a disturbance."
He said he did not have the name of the lawyer who complained.
Americans for Legal Reform monitors the courts and uses confrontational tactics to push for greater access for the public.
The pair said that for years they have stood outside courthouses on Long Island and mocked lawyers.
On Monday, however, Kash said he was due in court to answer a drunken driving charge from a year and a half ago. The men are due back in court on the disorderly conduct charge next month.
CotK <mew> | HAB | JL | MM | TTC | Cybertron
TAX THE CHURCHES! - Lord Zentei TTC Supreme Grand Prophet
And the LORD said, Let there be Bosons! Yea and let there be Bosoms too!
I'd rather be the great great grandson of a demon ninja than some jackass who grew potatos. -- Covenant
Dead cows don't fart. -- CJvR
...and I like strudel! -- Asuka
Just goes to prove that lawyers have no sense of humor.
Nitram, slightly high on cough syrup: Do you know you're beautiful?
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet
They staged something to get publicity, they got it, now they're happy.
I'd want more details to know if they were really creating a public disturbance, as opposed to just being obnoxious assholes.
[img=right]http://www.tallguyz.com/imagelib/chmeesig.jpg[/img]My guess might be excellent or it might be crummy, but
Mrs. Spade didn't raise any children dippy enough to
make guesses in front of a district attorney,
an assistant district attorney, and a stenographer.
Sam Spade, "The Maltese Falcon" Operation Freedom Fry
On a more serious note, the public disturbance charge's validity would presumably depend on how loud and obnoxious they were being. This is one of the problems with the public disturbance law: it seems like it's subjectively defined, and that's a dangerous thing.
"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing
"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC
"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness
"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.
A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea.
The doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?"
She said that she did.
He asked, "Does it hurt you?"
She said no.
The doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant."
The woman was mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?"
The doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?"
The most basic assumption about the world is that it does not contradict itself.
Darth Wong wrote:On a more serious note, the public disturbance charge's validity would presumably depend on how loud and obnoxious they were being. This is one of the problems with the public disturbance law: it seems like it's subjectively defined, and that's a dangerous thing.
If you think that's worrying take a look at what "breach of the peace" in britain can be, and what the maximum term for it is....
Edit:
I'll add it in....Life imprisonment, which is basically 25 years here...and it can be pretty much anything.
Last edited by Keevan_Colton on 2005-01-13 02:19pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Prodesse Non Nocere." "It's all about popularity really, if your invisible friend that tells you to invade places is called Napoleon, you're a loony, if he's called Jesus then you're the president." "I'd drive more people insane, but I'd have to double back and pick them up first..." "All it takes for bullshit to thrive is for rational men to do nothing." - Kevin Farrell, B.A. Journalism. BOTM - EBC - Horseman - G&C - Vampire
Darth Wong wrote: Wait till Stravo sees this thread
No, you wait.
I'm running now before he lynches us cruel lawyer mockers.
What is so bad about lawyers joke?
Not to look like a real idiot here, because you did put the wink in as a qualifier, but Stravo is a lawyer ...
Η ζωή, η ζωή εδω τελειώνει!
"Science is one cold-hearted bitch with a 14" strap-on" - Masuka 'Dexter'
"Angela is not the woman you think she is Gabriel, she's done terrible things"
"So have I, and I'm going to do them all to you." - Sylar to Arthur 'Heroes'
Just so Stravo gets some laffo when he drops into this thread:
Q: How many clients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Just one; he holds it still and the whole world revolves around him.
* * *
Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defence. "You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?" The client replied that he did. The lawyer then asked, "Do you know what will happen if you don't tell the truth? " The client looked back and said, "I imagine that our side will win."
* * *
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, "The parrot on the left costs $500. "Why does the parrot cost so much? asks the man. The owner says, "Well, the parrot knows how to do legal research."
The man then asks about the next parrot and is told that this one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the other parrot can do, plus it knows how to write a brief that will win in any court on any case.
Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot and is told that it costs $2,000! Needless to say, this begs the question, "What can IT do?"
To which the owner replies "to be honest I have never seen it do a thing, but the other two parrots call him Senior Partner."
* * *
Lawyer: "Let me give you my honest opinion."
Client: "No, no. I'm paying for professional advice."
[img=right]http://www.tallguyz.com/imagelib/chmeesig.jpg[/img]My guess might be excellent or it might be crummy, but
Mrs. Spade didn't raise any children dippy enough to
make guesses in front of a district attorney,
an assistant district attorney, and a stenographer.
Sam Spade, "The Maltese Falcon" Operation Freedom Fry
A Dublin barrister died in poverty and many of the city's lawyers subscribed to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. "Only a shilling?" asked the Justice. "Only a shilling to bury a lawyer? Here's a guinea. By all means, go and bury twenty more with him."
--------------
A priest was called to the house of an elderly attorney.
"How is the patient?" he asked the doctor.
"I'm afraid he's lying at death's door."
The priest sighed. "Poor soul. Going to meet his maker, and he's still lying."
--------------------
A lawyer was attending a sold-out Broadway show. The woman sitting behind him asked why the seat next to him was empty. The lawyer explained that his wife couldn't make it. When the woman asked if he didn't have relatives or friends who could have used the seat, he replied, "They're all at the funeral."
-------------------------
A lawyer arriving at the gates of heaven found himself confronted by St. Peter, who began to enumerate his many sins.
"Wait," objected the deceased pettifogger, "I haven't been all bad. I gave money to charity, too, you know."
St. Peter consulted his book. "Ah, yes. Once you gave a dime to a panhandler, and another time you tipped the shoeshine boy a nickle. Is that correct?"
"That's right," the lawyer replied smugly.
St. Peter turned to the angel next to him. "Fair enough. Give this guy fifteen cents and tell him to go to hell."
-------------------------------------
When that same lawyer arrived down under, he advised the devil it must all be a mistake: at 47 he was too young to be dead.
"Oh, I don't know," replied the devil. "Judging by your hourly billing records you must be at least 103!"
-- Asuka
