Swaziland's King Gets Protested

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2005-01-27 10:51pm

No more parties or cars, your majesty
By David Blair in Manzini
(Filed: 27/01/2005)

After banning sex and spending millions on palaces for beauty-queen wives, Africa's last absolute monarch, King Mswati III, faced rare popular protest yesterday when Swaziland's underground opposition called a general strike.

Chanting demonstrators marched through Swaziland's largest city, Manzini, demanding curbs on the financial extravagance and political power of their quixotic ruler.

Their banners expressed outrage over the king's lavish self-indulgence. "No to more palaces, cars and parties," read one. Last year, the king spent £8.3 million on building eight palaces and refurbishing three existing ones.

He bought a state-of-the-art Maybach car for £260,000 and invited 10,000 people to his 36th birthday party, spending £330,000 on the festivities.

Swaziland is a country that could spring from the pages of Evelyn Waugh. Like the Emperor Seth in Black Mischief, King Mswati is a British-educated despot with scant regard for the desperate poverty of his people.

King Mswati, who attended Sherborne school in Dorset, is now enjoying three months in seclusion for the annual "fresh-fruit eating" ceremony. He attends this festival along with his powerful mother, who official title Ndlovukazi, translates as "The Great She Elephant".

The catalyst for the protests in the midst of his seclusion was the release of a draft constitution guaranteeing his eternal dominance. This long-awaited document had been viewed as a chance for a gradual move towards a constitutional monarchy.

Instead, the draft gives the king legal immunity for any wrongdoing and article 65 states emphatically: "The executive authority of Swaziland vests in the king."

"This draft constitution would make the king the worst kind of dictator," said Jan Sithole, secretary-general of the Swaziland Federation of Trade Unions, who called the general strike. "There is no restraint on the king and no democracy at all."

Opposition parties are banned and more than 70 per cent of Swaziland's million people live in poverty in remote villages. Apathy rules even in the towns. Mr Sithole estimated that fewer than 10 per cent of his 65,000 members joined the strike.

But any demonstration of popular discontent is an important achievement in a country as repressive as Swaziland. For most of his 18-year rule, King Mswati's excesses have gone without protest.

Almost every year, he chooses a new wife at the "reed dance" ceremony when 20,000 virgins dance topless at the royal kraal.

Last year, 12 local beauty queens joined the performance and the king selected Miss Teen Swaziland, 16-year-old Nothando Dube, as his new fiancée.

The King has now amassed 11 wives, two fiancées and 23 children, although two wives have fled to South Africa.

Some 39 per cent of adult Swazis are infected with HIV/ Aids, the highest proportion in the world. King Mswati responded to the crisis in 2001 by banning virgins from having sex for five years. Any man caught deflowering a virgin would be fined one cow.

This law proved too rigorous for the king. Months later, he chose a 17-year old bride and fined himself one cow.

The King's approach to monarchy is, said Percy Simelane, a government spokesman, "in accordance with Swazi tradition".

But a western diplomat said the King was "completely estranged from reality.

"Life is very good for him, so why would he want to change anything?"

The last part about the ban on sex with virgins cracked me up. It read like an article from The Onion or something.

Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba · Post by **Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba** » 2005-01-27 10:56pm

It's hilariously bizarre and despicable.

Seggybop · Post by **Seggybop** » 2005-01-27 11:33pm

I can't believe this guy hasn't been assassinated.
Sorry if one isn't supposed to say such a thing, but it doesn't make any sense.

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2005-01-27 11:57pm

In a continent where 40+ million have contracted HIV, I don't find a ban on sex to be despicable or bizarre, but understandable. (though that is not to say this ban is at all acceptable, since there are other ways to combat HIV and AIDS)

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2005-01-28 12:09am

Stofsk wrote:In a continent where 40+ million have contracted HIV, I don't find a ban on sex to be despicable or bizarre, but understandable. (though that is not to say this ban is at all acceptable, since there are other ways to combat HIV and AIDS)

Still, you've gotta love this part:

Any man caught deflowering a virgin would be fined one cow.

This law proved too rigorous for the king. Months later, he chose a 17-year old bride and fined himself one cow.

I love the punishment!

Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba · Post by **Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba** » 2005-01-28 12:10am

Stofsk wrote:In a continent where 40+ million have contracted HIV, I don't find a ban on sex to be despicable or bizarre, but understandable. (though that is not to say this ban is at all acceptable, since there are other ways to combat HIV and AIDS)

I'm more surprised by his massive extravagance, like 20,000 virgins dancing topless at a ceremony where he gets a thirteenth wife.

(Awaits post about wanting to see those 20,000 virgins dance naked)

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2005-01-28 12:14am

20,000 virgins? Are they hot? *obligatory sex-related comment fulfilled*

Isn't Swaziland that one country completely surrounded by S. Africa?

How hasn't he been offed yet?

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2005-01-28 12:26am

Master of Ossus wrote:
Any man caught deflowering a virgin would be fined one cow.

This law proved too rigorous for the king. Months later, he chose a 17-year old bride and fined himself one cow.
I love the punishment!

Man, I wish I could be fined a cow for deflowering a virgin.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2005-01-28 01:51am

Palaces: £8.3 million.

Maybach Car: £260,000.

Deflowering a Virgin: 1 cow.

Being an absolute dictator of your own shitty country: Priceless.

There are some things that money can't buy. For everything else, there's Mastercard, the official card of tyrannical rulers everywhere.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2005-01-28 01:54am

Months later, he chose a 17-year old bride and fined himself one cow.

Sorry, but that one sentence prevents me from taking the economic and political woes of Swaziland seriously. Whenever I think of it, I just can't stop cracking up.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2005-01-28 02:05am

HemlockGrey wrote:
Months later, he chose a 17-year old bride and fined himself one cow.
Sorry, but that one sentence prevents me from taking the economic and political woes of Swaziland seriously.

Yes, because when the king can afford to pay the fine, the economy obviously isn't in trouble.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2005-01-28 02:15am

It's Africa, also known as the plugged toilet of humanity. What do you expect?

Rogue 9 · Post by **Rogue 9** » 2005-01-28 02:16am

Darth Yoshi wrote:Isn't Swaziland that one country completely surrounded by S. Africa?

Not quite. It also shares a border with Mozambique. Lesotho is the one that's completely surrounded.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2005-01-28 02:30am

Yes, because when the king can afford to pay the fine, the economy obviously isn't in trouble.

When the fuck did I say that it wasn't? I said that I can't think of Swaziland without cracking up anymore. Christ, lighten up.

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2005-01-28 02:41am

He attends this festival along with his powerful mother, who official title Ndlovukazi, translates as "The Great She Elephant".

I derive great enjoyment from this. Does anyone know how to properly pronounce "Ndlovukazi"?

\m/>_<\m/

Tzeentch · Post by **Tzeentch** » 2005-01-28 02:44am

I'll have to show this to my swazi roommate. He always paints a very surreal merry picture of the dictatorship...

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2005-01-28 02:45am

HemlockGrey wrote:
Yes, because when the king can afford to pay the fine, the economy obviously isn't in trouble.
When the fuck did I say that it wasn't? I said that I can't think of Swaziland without cracking up anymore. Christ, lighten up.

Well, I misunderstood. Sorry.

Really, I find any possible humor in it to be entirely destroyed by the context in which it takes place.

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2005-01-28 09:29am

So much for that protest. Of course, what does he care about the AIDS epidemic since he can keep himself safe? I'd wish HIV on him except he'd infect all his wives if he did get infected.

BBC News wrote: Swazi king chooses wife number 13
Mswati chooses a new wife every year

Swaziland's King Mswati III has chosen a 17-year-old girl to be his 13th wife at a ceremony in which bare-breasted virgins perform a special dance.

His last bride - a teenage beauty queen who dropped out of school to become a princess - was chosen four months ago.

King Mswati's latest fiancee has travelled to South Africa to undergo an HIV test, a princess told the BBC.

He has been criticised for having so many wives in a country with one of the world's highest rates of HIV infection.

While most Swazis live in poverty, the government is spending 100 million emalangeni ($16m) to refurbish palaces for his official wives.

'No to more palaces'

Under Swazi tradition, a fiancee becomes a wife once she falls pregnant. At 36, King Mswati has 24 children.

Xolile Magagula will be presented to the Swazi public once she passes the HIV test and is blessed by the Queen Mother.

Earlier this week, trade unions held a general strike to protest at a new constitution, which they said would entrench the powers of Africa's last absolute monarch.

"No to more palaces, cars and parties," read one placard.

Last year, the king spent $500,000 on a luxury Maybach car which has a television, DVD player, 21-speaker surround-sound system, fridge and sterling silver champagne flutes.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/4215761.stm

Post by **fgalkin** » 2005-01-29 03:14am

All hail His Imperial Majesty!

No wonder Africa is in such deep shit.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Chmee · Post by **Chmee** » 2005-01-29 03:24am

Hey, the King is just doing his part to boost the economy!

Building & refurbishing palaces: public works projects employing skilled labor!

Party for 10,000 people: caterers and musicians can't complain!

New wife every year: wedding planners are a growth industry! Caterers' lobby is obviously strong!

23 children: nannies, another great Swazi growth industry!

Miss Teen Swazi contest gets to choose the country's Queen! Beat that, American Idol!

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2005-01-29 04:14am

Ha! The Republicans should love this guy. He's the ultimate believer in trickle-down economics!

salm · Post by **salm** » 2005-01-29 06:36am

stylewise he´s got it right though. if i was a dictator i´d dress like him, too.
it´s much easier to paint a guy like this a merry, happy fellow than the gadaffi type. the gadaffi type has it´s own advantages. but if i wanted to just smoke a couple of joints per day, have sex with a bunch of virgins in my comfy palaces with play stations and let society in general rot because i´d have to actually work to improve it, i´d dress exactly like that. and that´s the type of dictator i´d be.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2005-01-29 06:37am

Stofsk wrote:
Master of Ossus wrote:
Any man caught deflowering a virgin would be fined one cow.

This law proved too rigorous for the king. Months later, he chose a 17-year old bride and fined himself one cow.
I love the punishment!
Man, I wish I could be fined a cow for deflowering a virgin.

stofsk + plane = sextourist in swaziland?

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2005-01-29 01:13pm

HemlockGrey wrote:Ha! The Republicans should love this guy. He's the ultimate believer in trickle-down economics!

He knows how to live, I'll give him that.

Sriad · Post by **Sriad** » 2005-01-29 01:25pm

Darth Wong wrote:It's Africa, also known as the plugged toilet of humanity. What do you expect?

One could argue that's significantly because Europe was shitting on the place for five hundred years and then divided it into countries by throwing darts at a map blindfolded... but the current power structure hasn't done a lot to improve things.