Hillary Clinton collapses during appearance

dr. what · Post by **dr. what** » 2005-01-31 01:27pm

breaking news on Yahoo

BUFFALO, N.Y. - Hillary Rodham Clinton (news - web sites) collapses during a public appearance in Buffalo.

That's all that's showing there for now.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2005-01-31 02:46pm

It must be either part of the liberal homosexual agenda, or the vast right wing conspiracy.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2005-01-31 02:48pm

Or maybe her vibrator batteries ran out.......oh wait, that's Janet "Shakes" Reno, my bad.

dr. what · Post by **dr. what** » 2005-01-31 02:50pm

Alas, no--it appears to be just a stomach virus...

Yahoo

>puts on tin foil hat<

...at least--that's what they want us to think.....

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2005-01-31 02:58pm

Man, I hope she's okay. I didn't realize stomach bugs could knock someone out; it seems pretty serious.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2005-01-31 03:08pm

dr. what wrote:Alas, no--it appears to be just a stomach virus...

Vast Right Wing Conspiracy it is.

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2005-01-31 03:20pm

Stomach Virus? Yeah right, and Roosevelt really had polio. Fucking bitch, she's just trying to gather sympathy for her run for president. Disgraceful.

Robert Walper · Post by **Robert Walper** » 2005-01-31 03:24pm

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:Fucking bitch, she's just trying to gather sympathy for her run for president. Disgraceful.

I would've thought a potential President coming across as unhealthy would harm their chances rather than improve them...

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2005-01-31 03:27pm

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:Stomach Virus? Yeah right, and Roosevelt really had polio. Fucking bitch, she's just trying to gather sympathy for her run for president. Disgraceful.

Oh of course, she's a Clinton, so there must be something insidious going on. After all, it's impossible for Hillary Clinton to actually contract such a virus, since we all know the Clintons signed a pact with the blood of Christian babies with Satan himself for complete invulnerability.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2005-01-31 03:29pm

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:Stomach Virus? Yeah right, and Roosevelt really had polio. Fucking bitch, she's just trying to gather sympathy for her run for president. Disgraceful.

With all due respect, gastroenteritis is hardly a benign thing. I had a friend who got "a stomach virus" last summer and I didn't hear from her for nearly three weeks and she'd been in hospital at least half a dozen times.

Besides, sympathy isn't what you need for a platform like this, it's respect.

That or fear.

Phil Skayhan · Post by **Phil Skayhan** » 2005-01-31 03:33pm

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:Stomach Virus? Yeah right, and Roosevelt really had polio. Fucking bitch, she's just trying to gather sympathy for her run for president. Disgraceful.

I don't know...a stomach virus could cause her to "burn the candle at both ends" plus a fever. So she could have been dehydrated plus the exhaustion of being sick yet still goes out to do her job. Personally, her stock just went up a few points with me. Tough woman, but then I always thought that of her.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2005-01-31 03:52pm

Virus? The terrorists are using Viruses? Ruuuuuun!!!!

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2005-01-31 04:42pm

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:Stomach Virus? Yeah right, and Roosevelt really had polio. Fucking bitch, she's just trying to gather sympathy for her run for president. Disgraceful.

Um...am I the only one to detect sarcasm here?

Mayabird · Post by **Mayabird** » 2005-01-31 04:57pm

Xenophobe3691 wrote:
Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:Stomach Virus? Yeah right, and Roosevelt really had polio. Fucking bitch, she's just trying to gather sympathy for her run for president. Disgraceful.
Um...am I the only one to detect sarcasm here?

I'm glad you do too. I was getting worried there for a moment.

Seriously, I have to wonder why every little thing the Clintons do has to be analyzed with conspiracy-tinted glasses. It's as if they can't take a shit without it being a ploy to get Hilary elected president. Who cares?

Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba · Post by **Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba** » 2005-01-31 05:01pm

Mayabird wrote:
Xenophobe3691 wrote:
Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:Stomach Virus? Yeah right, and Roosevelt really had polio. Fucking bitch, she's just trying to gather sympathy for her run for president. Disgraceful.
Um...am I the only one to detect sarcasm here?
I'm glad you do too. I was getting worried there for a moment.

Seriously, I have to wonder why every little thing the Clintons do has to be analyzed with conspiracy-tinted glasses. It's as if they can't take a shit without it being a ploy to get Hilary elected president. Who cares?

'Cause dem klintens is EVIL! 'Dey'll fuck our sisters in da wight harse an' let gays in, yuck yuck!

Petrosjko · Post by **Petrosjko** » 2005-01-31 05:11pm

Mayabird wrote:Seriously, I have to wonder why every little thing the Clintons do has to be analyzed with conspiracy-tinted glasses. It's as if they can't take a shit without it being a ploy to get Hilary elected president. Who cares?

Because everything is a conspiracy. Haven't you subscribed to the newsletter?

Hmm...

Maybe THEY are intercepting the deliveries. I'll check on that.

As for Hillary, I'm sure she'll be fine once she's had her lifeforce replenished by a few sacrifices.

Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba · Post by **Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba** » 2005-01-31 05:13pm

Petrosjko wrote: Because everything is a conspiracy. Haven't you subscribed to the newsletter?

Hmm...

Maybe THEY are intercepting the deliveries. I'll check on that.

As for Hillary, I'm sure she'll be fine once she's had her lifeforce replenished by a few sacrifices.

They say that a glass or two of virgin blood a day is good for the heart. Is that true?

Petrosjko · Post by **Petrosjko** » 2005-01-31 05:21pm

Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba wrote:They say that a glass or two of virgin blood a day is good for the heart. Is that true?

When we get back from our raid on the Skull&Bones archives, I'll let you know what their data on the subject says, 'kay?

frigidmagi · Post by **frigidmagi** » 2005-01-31 05:25pm

When we get back from our raid on the Skull&Bones archives, I'll let you know what their data on the subject says, 'kay?

Fair warning, on that third turn the left hall is mined and the right has a tripwire about 15ft into it. Oh and yeah, the 10th file cabinet from the door is a booby trap. Poor, poor Jenkins...

Chmee · Post by **Chmee** » 2005-01-31 05:28pm

She's obviously pregnant with Bill O'Reilly's love child.

Hamel · Post by **Hamel** » 2005-01-31 05:31pm

This and the news about the statue have surely given the freepers a huge collective boner.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2005-01-31 08:06pm

Chmee wrote:She's obviously pregnant with Bill O'Reilly's love child.

I wonder if he wooed her with promises of running a falafel all over her naked body.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2005-01-31 08:12pm

Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba wrote: They say that a glass or two of virgin blood a day is good for the heart. Is that true?

rainbow sex is evil.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2005-01-31 08:25pm

salm wrote:
Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba wrote: They say that a glass or two of virgin blood a day is good for the heart. Is that true?
rainbow sex is evil.

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? See you next month.

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2005-01-31 08:56pm

Durandal wrote:
Chmee wrote:She's obviously pregnant with Bill O'Reilly's love child.
I wonder if he wooed her with promises of running a falafel all over her naked body.

That shit on ifilm is the funniest thing I've ever seen.