Universal combat

[Chardok]

infinitely complex (As a commander), decent to good graphics and okay sound. Anyone tried it yet? I bought it last night and puttered around for about 15 minutes. gimme an in depth review or some tips...I couldn't even figure out how to move my capship and the documentation reads like hieroglyphics.


Link to the damn game cause I'm a dumbshit.

[White Haven]

I find it amusing that marketting it as 'Derek Smart's Universal Combat' is supposed to /increase/ it's sales. Sorta like, say the Joseph Stalin Humanitarian Foundation or some such On the subject of the game itself, I found the controls obtuse and the flight models (ESPECIALLY atmospheric) to be totally bereft of soul. Add to that the fact that you can fly through the ground in many places and that crashing apparently isn't anything heinous and, well...suffice to say it failed to impress me.

[MKSheppard]

I bought it last night and puttered around for about 15 minutes. gimme an in depth review or some tips...

http://www.somethingawful.co*/articles.php?a=2010

Review

Universal Combat is one of the first games produced solely for sex offenders. For years these folks have been lobbying Congress and other white people who seemed old and important for a game that would make them, registered sex offenders, feel good about the wretched lives they lead. Dr. Derek Smart, who received a doctorate degree in being Derek Smart, heard their cries and spent the last 27 years of his life creating what he felt was an answer to this terrible dilemma. Universal Combat is the culmination of all his work and efforts, and is a truly amazing product when you consider the fact that Dr. Smart did not actually write a single line of code for it himself, instead copying and pasting free Javascript samples from Tripod websites across the Internet. Unfortunately, such a complex and revolutionary product is tainted by a few omissions and errors, which I will cover in this review.

[Enigma]

<snip>

So I'm guessing that Derek didn't go through with his threat?

[Super-Gagme]

Did you hear about Derek Smart wanting to buy the Freespace license? And after arguing with the current Freespace community on message boards he then threatened to sue the mod groups after he got license. What a cock muncher. We should start a "Save Freespace...from Derek Smart" campaign.

[MKSheppard]

So I'm guessing that Derek didn't go through with his threat?

Dear Doctor Smart,

As per your request, I have changed the offending remark.

"When he was convicted of bank fraud in 1994"

has been altered to:

"When he was convicted of bank fraud and raping an entire petting zoo in 1994"

I hope this is satisfactory.

- Dr. Richard Kyanka, PHD

[Temjin]

Did you hear about Derek Smart wanting to buy the Freespace license? And after arguing with the current Freespace community on message boards he then threatened to sue the mod groups after he got license. What a cock muncher. We should start a "Save Freespace...from Derek Smart" campaign.

!

He's that fucking stupid?

What kind of thoughts are going thorugh his head?

"I was insulted by a few people on the internet and got my feelings hurt. So in retailiation, once I aquire the license I will sue all the FS2 mod makers. That will show them to insult me. And who cares if my potential customer base disappears, since who really needs one? Not me, since I'm Derek Smart!"

I mean come on, how fucking petty can he get?

[White Haven]

What amazes me is that he can still find publishers who'll touch him with something that isn't bladed. Can't imagine how, his name's about as popular with gamers as, say Lilith is with the average fundie.

[DaveJB]

I remember an interview he gave for a magazine just after Universal Combat was released. The interviewer asked him if the lack of a tutorial could potentially make the game difficult. Smart then went on this HUGE rant, saying the game didn't need a tutorial, and that any developers who did include tutorials with their games were basically faggots.

Yep, this is a man who knows what his audience wants!

[Temjin]

I remember an interview he gave for a magazine just after Universal Combat was released. The interviewer asked him if the lack of a tutorial could potentially make the game difficult. Smart then went on this HUGE rant, saying the game didn't need a tutorial, and that any developers who did include tutorials with their games were basically faggots.

Yep, this is a man who knows what his audience wants!

Did he say why???

This guy is the epitome of marketing stupidity. He should not be allowed to touch a computer for the rest of his life.

This guy will: Call his customers idiots when they have trouble with a bug, threaten to sue magazines which gives his games bad reviews, insult every other developer of every other game, and now he has alienated every homosexual person who read that.

Does this guy understand at all that he needs a customer base to make his games sell? Instead, he does everything in his power to destroy it!

This guy is such an arrogant asshole. He makes Romero seem downright modest.

[White Haven]

Pros: Smart has balls.

Cons: Smart has no other redeeming qualities, either personally or in his actual, produced games.

I could respect a dev who took no shit from anyone if he was defending a kickass product that simply got too much complaining. I don't know HOW many times I've wanted to hear other devs on, say, forums channel Smart and shout 'Aww, mission two's too hard for you? Try the goddamn tutorial first!' and the like. In a man who doesn't do jack shit useful, on the other hand...

[Shinova]

Pros: Smart has balls.

He's just oblivious to reality.

[Pu-239]

I actually liked BC3000AD v2.0 ... though I got personally yelled at (rightly) for complaining about hardware requirements for BCM. Anyway I found about SD.Net through the BC forums.