RPG Cliches... so very true.

Nephtys · Post by **Nephtys** » 2006-01-08 04:34am

http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html

Plenty of gems there. Wonder if this has been posted recently here? Some favorites:

#13: The Higher The Hair, The Closer To God (Cloud Rule)
The more outrageous his hairstyle, the more important a male character is to the story.

#57: Natural Monopoly Rule
No city will have more than two shops, unless it is crucial to the story that there be a hundred vendors which you must visit in order (see You Always Travel In The Right Circles.) All of these shops will sell the same goods for the same price.

#79: Xenobiology Rule
The predatory species of the world will include representatives of all of the following: giant spiders, giant scorpions, giant snakes, giant beetles, wolves, squid, fish that float in midair, gargoyles, golems, carnivorous plants, chimeras, griffons, cockatrices, hydras, minotaurs, burrowing things with big claws, things that can paralyse you, things that can put you to sleep, things that can petrify you, at least twenty different creatures with poisonous tentacles, and dragons. Always dragons.

Jade Falcon · Post by **Jade Falcon** » 2006-01-08 11:27am

187 "So, Andross, you reveal your true form!"
You will have to kill the evil villain at least twice at the end of the game. First the villain will look like a person or some creature and be rather easy to kill. Then he will grow to about 50 times the hero's size and be much harder to kill.
188 In Your Face, Jesus!
Even if you manage to deal with him that time, you're not done -- the villain will then transform into his final form, which is always an angelic winged figure with background music remixed for ecstatic chorus and pipe organ.

Aint that one the bloody truth, the last boss in Legaiaa 2 takes 3 forms.

SAMAS · Post by **SAMAS** » 2006-01-08 11:41am

That's nothing. The final boss in Wild Arms 3 has ten.

BloodAngel · Post by **BloodAngel** » 2006-01-08 02:06pm

Zophar, anyone?

Oni Koneko Damien · Post by **Oni Koneko Damien** » 2006-01-08 02:28pm

It made me giggle.

Bounty · Post by **Bounty** » 2006-01-08 02:38pm

187 "So, Andross, you reveal your true form!"

When did Lylat Wars become an RPG ?

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2006-01-08 02:46pm

Bounty wrote:
187 "So, Andross, you reveal your true form!"
When did Lylat Wars become an RPG ?

I think that's just used as a famous example of bosses doing that, rather than use an RPG. Though they'd have been better picking Sephiroth.

Adrian Laguna · Post by **Adrian Laguna** » 2006-01-08 02:57pm

Bounty wrote:
187 "So, Andross, you reveal your true form!"
When did Lylat Wars become an RPG ?

Lylat Wars? That's from Star Fox 64. It isn't an RPG either, but it's still a pretty good choice since it's one of the few lines in which the Hero acknowledges that the Bad Guy is changing forms.

Duckie · Post by **Duckie** » 2006-01-08 02:58pm

Adrian Laguna wrote: Lylat Wars? That's from Star Fox 64.

Lylat Wars is Star Fox 64, IIRC, just the name of the European Version.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2006-01-08 03:15pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:
Bounty wrote:
187 "So, Andross, you reveal your true form!"
When did Lylat Wars become an RPG ?
I think that's just used as a famous example of bosses doing that, rather than use an RPG. Though they'd have been better picking Sephiroth.

Meh, everyone knows Sephiroth stole his angel schtick from Kefka in FF6.

Losonti Tokash · Post by **Losonti Tokash** » 2006-01-08 03:26pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:
Bounty wrote:
187 "So, Andross, you reveal your true form!"
When did Lylat Wars become an RPG ?
I think that's just used as a famous example of bosses doing that, rather than use an RPG. Though they'd have been better picking Sephiroth.

Or Ramirez.

jaw_oma · Post by **jaw_oma** » 2006-01-08 03:54pm

dufus

[quote="Losonti Tokash"][quote="Admiral Valdemar"][quote="Bounty"][quote]187 "So, Andross, you reveal your true form!" [/quote]

When did [i]Lylat Wars[/i] become an RPG ?[/quote]

I think that's just used as a famous example of bosses doing that, rather than use an RPG. Though they'd have been better picking Sephiroth.[/quote]

Or Ramirez.[/quote]

Vendetta · Post by **Vendetta** » 2006-01-08 04:51pm

189: The Moral Of The Story (Ghaleon Rule)
Every problem in the universe can be solved by finding the right long-haired prettyboy and beating the crap out of him.

So true. If only you'd thought of that the first time you met them....

183: Adam Smith's Revenge
By the end of the game you are renowned everywhere as the Legendary Heroes, every surviving government and authority figure has rallied behind you, the fate of the world is obviously hanging in the balance, and out of nowhere random passers-by give you a pat on the back and heartfelt good luck wishes. However, shopkeepers won't even give you a discount, much less free supplies for the final battle with evil.

Of course. They have absolute confidence that you're going to win.