What the...Duke Nukem Forever...teaser trailer?

Post by **Vympel** » 2007-12-20 09:01am

It looks like a stinky hairy ass-crack. It was supposedly made by some of the team in their spare time, and they threw it out on the interwebs.

God this game's gonna bomb.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2007-12-20 09:42am

Vympel wrote:It looks like a stinky hairy ass-crack. It was supposedly made by some of the team in their spare time, and they threw it out on the interwebs.

God this game's gonna bomb.

For a game to bomb is needs to be released first. I honestly don't think Duke Nukem will ever be made.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2007-12-20 10:45am

yeah this is just toss a herring out to the crowd....

Zixinus · Post by **Zixinus** » 2007-12-20 10:51am

It looks like a stinky hairy ass-crack. It was supposedly made by some of the team in their spare time, and they threw it out on the interwebs.

Any idea on the validity of that information? Somehow a 3D animation like that doesn't make me think "spare time".

18-Till-I-Die · Post by **18-Till-I-Die** » 2007-12-20 11:13am

I'll be honest, i dont really care how it looks. I just want it to be fun.

I've played too many FPS games these days that want to be some other genre, like HL2 which is great and all, dont misunderstand, but has like, no joke, whole levels that are little more than physics puzzles or jumping puzzles. Why not make a puzzle game then? Or then you have Crysis, which i'd have to submerge my computer in liquid nitrogen and put it on the lowest graphical settings possible under the laws of physics to play without my shitty PC imploding.

At this point, i just long for a good, old fashioned FPS like Doom or Wolfenstien. No puzzles, no uber-l33t graphics cards required, just something where i shoot aliens and mutants and then the credits roll. And fuck yeah that's shallow, so what? People give "depth" too much credit..."fun" should always be twelve rungs above depth on the What We Need In The Game lader. That's what makes BioShock so great, yes it's shallow and the story arc is fairly obvious from the beginning (or maybe it was to me...), but i dont care, BioShock was fan-fucking-tastic cause at it's heart it's just an FPS.

I'm hoping i can say the same about DNF when (if...) it comes out, and they dont try and get cute and add a fuckload of puzzles and shit. So frankly i dont care about the "brand", i could give less of a fuck about the graphics, i just want a good straight-forward FPS i can play on a computer that doesnt require me to steal a TARDIS to power.

Jark · Post by **Jark** » 2007-12-20 12:05pm

18-Till-I-Die wrote:I'll be honest, i dont really care how it looks. I just want it to be fun.

I've played too many FPS games these days that want to be some other genre, like HL2 which is great and all, dont misunderstand, but has like, no joke, whole levels that are little more than physics puzzles or jumping puzzles. Why not make a puzzle game then? Or then you have Crysis, which i'd have to submerge my computer in liquid nitrogen and put it on the lowest graphical settings possible under the laws of physics to play without my shitty PC imploding.

At this point, i just long for a good, old fashioned FPS like Doom or Wolfenstien. No puzzles, no uber-l33t graphics cards required, just something where i shoot aliens and mutants and then the credits roll. And fuck yeah that's shallow, so what? People give "depth" too much credit..."fun" should always be twelve rungs above depth on the What We Need In The Game lader. That's what makes BioShock so great, yes it's shallow and the story arc is fairly obvious from the beginning (or maybe it was to me...), but i dont care, BioShock was fan-fucking-tastic cause at it's heart it's just an FPS.

I'm hoping i can say the same about DNF when (if...) it comes out, and they dont try and get cute and add a fuckload of puzzles and shit. So frankly i dont care about the "brand", i could give less of a fuck about the graphics, i just want a good straight-forward FPS i can play on a computer that doesnt require me to steal a TARDIS to power.

It's been said by the developers that level puzzles will be part of the game. We don't have any examples of what they'll be like though.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2007-12-20 12:12pm

You people know nothing.

18-Till-I-Die · Post by **18-Till-I-Die** » 2007-12-20 12:59pm

"A wave of better shooters"...yeah, if by better they mean "the graphics are shiny" and "LOL! They made Unreal Tournament AGAIN! MOAR PLZ!!!"

BioShock rapes Halo.

It's been said by the developers that level puzzles will be part of the game. We don't have any examples of what they'll be like though.

One or two in the game, i dont have a problem with. I'm talking like, two or three, in every level. THAT just screams "make a damn puzzle game!"

Ironically, Valve made a puzzle game, Portal, and it rocks. Proving where they really belong.

Siege · Post by **Siege** » 2007-12-20 02:35pm

You'd think that in-between ten years of snorting coke and banging hookers (because they certainly can't have been coding all that time), someone would have found a few minutes of spare time to properly render the Duke for their teaser trailer thing. I mean, damn. The cinematics in Duke 3D were better than that. And since I loved Duke 3D I'm still sort of hoping for a fun game... But this doesn't inspire much confidence, so I fear DNF will be the next Daikatana (provided it'll ever come out in the first place.)

Covenant · Post by **Covenant** » 2007-12-20 04:41pm

Zixinus wrote:
It looks like a stinky hairy ass-crack. It was supposedly made by some of the team in their spare time, and they threw it out on the interwebs.
Any idea on the validity of that information? Somehow a 3D animation like that doesn't make me think "spare time".

It makes me think "we need it by this weekend, hurry the fuck up" and two guys with barely functional models in 3Ds Max. None of that animation was more than a few hours of effort tops, and while the models do look cool (I think anyway!) that's a totally different beast than the animation. ;D

Stark · Post by **Stark** » 2007-12-20 04:51pm

MJ, Halflife2 was pretty much a tech demo (which is why it sucked). Game like Gears or Vegas or whatever aren't focussed on puzzles at all. It's only retro lamer shooters that have puzzle-levels these days - even Halo doesn't have stupid 'find the key' or 'turn off the fish laser' sections. I mean, giant networks of conveyor belts and meat-packing machines the only way to get around? Halflife INVENTED that stupid shit.

Your contention that 'FPS - graphics - puzzles = good' is insane, though. Given how easy it is to licence an engine (any engine) and spam out some models and let the shading do the rest, there's very little excuse for a shooter *looking* bad. If they're cutting those corners, why assume ANYTHING about it will be good?

Jark · Post by **Jark** » 2007-12-20 05:11pm

Stark wrote:MJ, Halflife2 was pretty much a tech demo (which is why it sucked). Game like Gears or Vegas or whatever aren't focussed on puzzles at all. It's only retro lamer shooters that have puzzle-levels these days - even Halo doesn't have stupid 'find the key' or 'turn off the fish laser' sections. I mean, giant networks of conveyor belts and meat-packing machines the only way to get around? Halflife INVENTED that stupid shit.

I remember that sort of thing being in Duke Nukem 3D, which was at least a couple years before Halflife.

I remember interviews from someone at 3d Realms saying there would be no 'find the key' sort of missions or anything in this game.

Personally I thought it looked very good, what little we saw of it anyways.

Stark · Post by **Stark** » 2007-12-20 06:15pm

Well *I* remember the first three levels of DN3D having interesting, quality level design and features, and the rest of the game being 90s standard silliness with somewhat novel weapons. Their moonbase didn't even have a water level or a meat-packing plant!

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2007-12-20 08:39pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:You people know nothing.

[img-hilarity]

I would move to a small town in the Deep South if it meant this would become reality. The wailing and gnashing of teeth that would follow such an announcement would be sweet harmony to my soul.

Zablorg · Post by **Zablorg** » 2007-12-20 08:48pm

Gamefaqs dawt com has a poll about when you think it's gonna be released. Pop over if you want.

I voted 'never'

Stark · Post by **Stark** » 2007-12-20 09:04pm

Uraniun235 wrote:I would move to a small town in the Deep South if it meant this would become reality. The wailing and gnashing of teeth that would follow such an announcement would be sweet harmony to my soul.

What would make me smile is if their venture capitalists give them enough money to buy perfect reviews and the internet is full of frothing, gasping back-slapping. BEST GAME EVVVAH.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2007-12-20 11:55pm

That shit looks like utter crap, it can’t be anything but a joke even if actual work is being done on the game.

Flagg · Post by **Flagg** » 2007-12-21 12:38am

Stark wrote:
Uraniun235 wrote:I would move to a small town in the Deep South if it meant this would become reality. The wailing and gnashing of teeth that would follow such an announcement would be sweet harmony to my soul.
What would make me smile is if their venture capitalists give them enough money to buy perfect reviews and the internet is full of frothing, gasping back-slapping. BEST GAME EVVVAH.

So, Halo 4?

Stark · Post by **Stark** » 2007-12-21 02:45am

Flagg wrote:So, Halo 4?

You sir have seen through my subtle satire. Halo 4 INDEED.