((cue music “Journey of the Sorcerer”))
Far off in the outer reaches space, on a mostly unregarded and seemingly unimportant planet, the constantly random forces of the universe saw fit to give rise to a world where, against all; probability, many creatures from the myths of the world of “Earth” have come to be. These seem to include Dwarves, Elves, Dragons, various sapient ‘beast men’ and goblins.
It is the goblins who seem to conflict the most with the predominantly Dwarven population. Why this should be so is not fully understood. Some insight into the long standing conflict may be found from Legendary Dwarven Philosopher, Grabpot Thundergust, who is well known for saying on the matter: “Goblins? Thar be a Bugger.”
It is on the matter of Goblins, that the fledging fort know as
Talllabored once more finds itself under dire attack from the green skinned monsters.
It would seem that under these dire situations, somewhat improbable, that the thing to first stand against the invaders is evidently a small fluffy kitten.
“HRRAGG!!!!! It’s on myrah frace! Myrah Frace!!!” Gurgled a goblin wrestler, who had, just moments before, been prepared to strike down, what seemed a hapless little animal. Now, said animal was latched firmly to his face, claws deeply embedded into his skull.
“HRRRAGGG!! Get it orrf! Get it ORRF!!”
Several goblins came to his aid, a few raising visious spiked whips.
“Unrrgghh! Thrat looks prainfrul!” one chortled at the wrestlers misfortune.
“Gret in orrf now!” He gurgled again, as trying to simply pull the animal off seemed to only cause it’s claws to dig in all the deeper.
“Hrragright Hragright! Irll purll it from yrah” A goblin Lasher said as it began to bring it’s spiked whip down hard.
As if anticipating the attack, the small fluffy kitten leapt instantly from the goblins face, and now latched firmly to the face of it’s new attacker.
HHRRAHHHHGG!!!! the lasher wailed as now he too, shared in the clawed agony. His hands flaring wildly brought the spiked weapon down hard upon the goblin who had until just recently been so put upon by the kitten.
At this point, sensing perhaps it’s own invincibility waning, the kitten finally leapt from the lashers face and made a speedy retreat to the direction of the Fortress. “Hraaag! Arrfter it! I wrrant its Broness!!!” hissed the injured goblins as they made haste to the alls of TallLabored.
High atop one of the half constructed towers overlooking the walls, the head of the militia,
Darkevilme looked in curiously at the scene high atop the hills.
“AYE! YE be right matie! Thar indeed seems to be a group of the buggers heading our way! Something seems to have really riled them up!” The Dwarven warrior shouted down to
Darthkom who gave a smart salute.
“Aye aye, I’ll send de word out immediately!”
Alarms rang out across the valley, Dwarves, Humans and residents from the vicinity of Betelgeuse all looked up in concern.
“Fetid Photons! What is it now? Can’t an Ex-Galactic President get any rest around here?’ Zaphod barked as he reached out to grab a running Dwarf.
“Hold on there cat, what’s all the hurry about?
“It be goblins again ye Tall one! They be on der way shortly and we need to make ready!” The dwarf,
Starglider said as he hefted a heavy *Iron Hammer*.
Soon, the crew was assembled before the main gates,
Darkevilme ready top lead them to battle.
The group seemed to pose for dramatic effect, before charging out of the front gates. Each one shouting his own personal warcry:
They kin take our lives, but they will never take our SOCKS!
Thar kin be only SEVEN!
BANG WENT SIXPENCE!
Har it be HAMMERTIME!
And so on…
The goblins for their part, already rather flustered by the severity and ferocity of the Fluffy Kitten Attack, now stood before the onslaught of well armed and highly agitated Dwarves.
darthkom, Shadowdragon and
Vendetta led the attack as
WhiteHaven and
CivilWarMan raised crossbows from behind.
In the very front,
Darkevilme raised a sword overhead while shouting.
“Alright lads! Lets give’em a good KICKEN!”
What followed was a truly horrific, violent and above all bloody battle that simply exploded with gore. While there were some injuries among the Dwarves, clearly they were becoming a formidable fighting force. Over looking the field of battle they saw the carnage, the horror the blood, and they saw it was good and proper.
Through this scene of bloodied corpses, as if returning to where it belonged, a certain Fluffy Kitten trod through. The Dwarves looked at it curiously as it padded up to one of the corpses.
“Oi, Where that Kitten come from? It been out here da whole time?” Inquired a certain
Loomer who watched, with many of the others in horror and fascination, as the Fluffy Kitten, proceeded to widdle in the ears of the fallen.
Meanwhile, it was around this time that other events where becoming known to the mixed citizens of “
TallLabored.
“Lintilla? Can you see them as well?
“I can indeed Lintilla, more Dwarves, it would seem the fort is becoming more of a city with each passing day.
“I agree deeply Lintilla and Lintilla,”
From behind the three clones, Trillian looked over the walls as well.
“It would seem they have brought one of the representatives, from the Fortress of
SedNet Oh my this looks highly official! I should contact
Mr.Bean at once!”
Little did Trillan know it, but soon, the ‘Leader’ of
TallLabored would no longer be the humble Dwarf Bean…
=================
NEXT CHAPTER!!!
More Migrant Mess!
A shake up in the Leadership!
A Star-person goes Fey!
=================
NOTE
I know this is more then a year long necro... But I recently found the old file and it still worked, I had been given it some thought.
I started something a LONG time ago, and now I intend to finish it. I KNOW now how it WILL be finished, and I mean to see it through,
