Conversations from the gaming frontlines.

[Raw Shark]

I run the Shadowrun games for my group. It's my general assumption that they're going to be fucking nuts, but the gang still manages to surprise me once in a while. Last time, they were sent to kill a Troll CEO with magical safeguards in an area where guns don't work, and dropped him down an elevator shaft.

[Simon_Jester]

Given your screen name I find this profoundly amusing.

[TheFeniX]

Oh man, Shadowrun. I miss it a lot. We had some fun games.

One night, after we had finished a fairly long campaign early, we did (what kids would call it now) an "Alt night" with other characters we had rolled. To make things interesting, we all agreed they would have some kind of fatal flaw the DM could exploit. And we weren't allowed to inform our friends about them before hand. My new Mage was a Magical Researcher with a serious case of OCD when it came to cleanliness. The Corp he was working for agreed to let him quit for "personal reasons" after he crippled a coworker who, during an argument, knocked all his research tools off his desk. This was if he handed over all his research notes, signed non-competes, etc, etc.

We're tasked with figuring out what's going on with a bunch of weird shit in the Barrens. Don figures bribing a few Halloweener gang members would be a good source of information, since they run a lot of operations in the Barrens. So, we're driving around in my Mages Cargo Van (decked out for research, he lived in it because he had a deal with a detail cleaning company). Derreck is riding shotgun, we pull up to two Halloweeners in clear gang garb. Shelly (whose character is deathly afraid of burning to death) is already on edge because Halloweeners love fire. But he kept his mouth shut because this was a good idea, before all Hell broke loose.

Derreck says "Slow down," leans out the window, shoots one ganger in the head, jumps out and kicks the shit out of the second one and drags him into the van. Did I mention his character's issue was his little sister dieing in a gang-related drive-by?

My Mage is freaking out. He's trying desperately to pull out sheets of plastic wrap he kept in the van. Pleading with Derreck to just "let me put this down.. the blood, it's everywhere. Oh God, the stains." Derreck's PC grabs mine (hands covered in blood) by the jacket sleaves and says "Shut up, let me do this."

My character's face goes slack. I calmly back away, open the door again, and exit.

After a minute of Derreck beating on this ganger for info, Don asks "Wait, where's FeniX"" then the van gets wrecked after I hit it with a Fireball (what is was back then) while chanting "I have to start over." Now, the fireball was targeted on the Van, so the occupants didn't take a lot of damage and the vehicle was electric. But there's still some errant flames, some of which catches Shelly's arm on fire.

He flips out, runs out of the van screaming, "car"jacks a motorcycle and takes off full-speed. He then says "I turn around to see if I'm being followed," fails his driving check, slams into a semi, and dies after penetrating the back door and slamming into the front of the empty cargo box. Derreck gets out of what's left of the van and is "moderately" angry. He draws and shoots, hitting my Mage who is trying to walk away while chanting "I have to start over." In response, I use "Ram" to hit him with a phone booth. This buys time for Lonestar to show up and demand Derreck's PC get on the ground. Derreck runs while firing at them and manages to get away, dodging gun fire the whole time. My Mage is ignored because he just went back to calmly chanting "I have to start over" to himself while walking away as soon as Derreck's attention was averted by the cops.

During all this, Don has worked out an alibi with the profusely bleeding (and burned) Halloweener.

Our DM lamented that he didn't have time to throw our flaws in our faces because we were too quick to do it ourselves.

[Imperial528]

From my latest D&D session. In which we became drug lords.

The party was resting in a house we had just cleared of the leadership of an opium dealing operation. From the loot we had four hundred and twenty packages of opium, which is illegal to trade in the city we're in. During the night, there's a knock on the door. The party ranger hears it and wakes everyone else up.

Bard: "Alright, we're going to open the door and I'm going to hold my knife to his back. Ranger can tie him up."
Ranger: "Okay, Wizard (me) can be ready for fire support in case this isn't just a drug runner."

So the guy gets in with the password and the Ranger succeeds her rolls in tying him up while our Bard tries to intimidate him.

Runner: "Who the hell are you?"
Me, cutting our bard off: "Ranger, check the ledger for this man's shipment."
Ranger: "Um, okay *asks DM*, fifty packets of opium."
Me: "Alright, Runner, here's your next shipment. Nothing has changed, the operation is proceeding as usual. Bard, let him go."
Bard is rather confused, but along with Ranger unties the Runner and he gives us the earnings from the last shipment.
The runner is also confused but takes the packets and runs off, likely glad he wasn't murdered.
Me: "Ranger, how many more shipments are in the ledger?"
Ranger: "Um, DM, how many? Okay, seven more, enough to get rid of four hundred packets."
Me: "Good, we're getting rid of this shit. We'll sleep in shifts and during the day leave one person behind to do the deals."

Several minutes of party logistics and drug trading later.

DM: "Well, I didn't actually expect you guys to start dealing out opium. So that's a few thousand gold I didn't expect you guys to have."
Bard: "I just wanted to mug the guy."
Me: "This is why the wizard makes the decisions."

[InsaneTD]

I'm concerned my Dark Heresy party are going to try something like this.

[Napoleon the Clown]

Not a full-on conversation, but...

(During the climactic battle against the BBEG)
Monk: I use Stunning Fist.
BBEG's Con Save: 10 [Note: BBEG had a VERY good bonus to his con save, but rolled HORRIBLY)
Me: Holy shit, he failed.
DM: ...So he did.
BBEG: *falls down*

Yeah, phase II of that fight went much faster than phase I.

[LaCroix]

You shadowrunners remember the small pre-made adventure in the back of the book, about the team getting into a mugging while getting themselves some munchies?

A few friends wanted to try Shadowrun, and so, a group of 4 street samurais faced a couple of gang members robbing a store.

Full party wipeout.
I kid you not.
I even started pulling my rolls, and getting extremely lenient to them. Still. Their rolls were not the problem, it was their ideas - the troll deciding to HMG the one punk, missing him, but having pretty much everyone behind the shelf hosed in lead. The "Samurai" with millions of cyberware wanting to go into a sword duel and really messing things up with his strange ideas of leaping on top of shelves and attacking in dives, being on top of one said shelf when the troll went berzerk, etc. The worst injury on the other side was a medium on one of the punks.

Best game we ever had.

[TheFeniX]

Me: "This is why the wizard makes the decisions."

Truer words.

You shadowrunners remember the small pre-made adventure in the back of the book, about the team getting into a mugging while getting themselves some munchies?

What edition was that in? I don't recall it.

What I do recall is wanting to do Bottled Demon and asked Roger to bring a "lowbie." He instead promises to stay low-key and brings the PC he'd been running with some other friends of his. So, the part comes up where the players get burned and need to go to ground.

Roger: "I call my pilot and tell him to get the jet ready." (Yes, he had a private jet).
FeniX: "He answers, said he just barely got by the 'cops' and is now in hiding. The jet's been impounded."
Roger: "What? I call Dunkelzahn."
FeniX: "Your character has a direct line to Dunkelzahn?"
Roger: "Yea, I saved his life."
So, we just start arguing. Like for a while. Because the idea Roger's PC has a direct line to possibly the most powerful (both in physical strength and political/economic strength) Dragon on Earth is hilarious. EDIT: he's also totally ruining the adventure for everyone but him./EDIT
FeniX: "Fuck it, fine, he answers: I'll send you a jet and we'll work this all."
:Roger tells the group he'll have this all worked out soon:
FeniX (As fucking Dunkelzahn): "I can make this all go away, but there's an item I need hidden in the Amazon jungle. I've assembled a crack team and you'll need to lead them. Do you accept?"
Roger: "Of course"
FeniX: "Good, captain amazing gets to have his adventure now: roll another fucking character."

I think the saddest part is after 20 years, I can still spell "Dunkelzahn" and google doesn't correct me. "I think I've been to enough conventions to know how to spell Melllvar."

[Bedlam]

What edition was that in? I don't recall it.

Sounds like Food Fight from 4th ed, a very fun scenario I love the random table of the consistency and colour of the jars you randomly break.

[Raw Shark]

Shadowrun is crazypants. I love it.

[LadyTevar]

ShadowRun: Where the troll has a pet Bandit (awakened raccoon) with a higher INT. And said Troll has a toy spinner on her one horn, and loves to spin it before she hefts her minigun and spins it up.

[TheFeniX]

Blowing off steam in Heroes of the Storm. Playing as Cho'Gall. It's a single hero controlled by two. One "drives" (Cho) and has access to mostly physical abilities, the other (Gall) is a caster that's just along for the ride. I'm driving, Kyle is Gall.

For a bit more background, Leoric doesn't "die" in HotS. He goes into a ghost form and respawns after a given amount of time. He is controllable the whole time.

Leoric: "Chogall, don't get mercs until the towers are down."
Gall: "You can't talk sense into him. I've tried."
Leoric: "Well, he should wait."
Cho: "Cho does not take orders from puny mortals."
Leoric: "I'm not a mortal. I never die."
Cho: "Ghosts are dead, like puny Lich King. Old Gods are the only Gods worthy."
Gall: "Reason is not with this one."
Leoric: "Well, I'm not a mortal. I'm the King! I just respawn."
Cho: "Do that less and we will win this day. FOR TWILIGHT'S HAMMER!"

We win. MVP: Cho.

Cho: "YES! Cho is king now. Cho has always been King!"
Gall: Yes, yes... you're the king."

NOTE: The MvP system in HotS is hilariously stupid and usually never correct.

Another game, dragging on. A Sonya specced into her leap causing a crater than no one can escape from for a limited amount of time.
She leaps at us and just.... dies because CHO'GALL IS BEST!

Cho: "I'm not trapped in here with you. You're TRAPPED IN HERE WITH US!"

[EnterpriseSovereign]

Playing an ISE in STO, during the phase where you have to blow up a generator and the Borg ships guarding it. One of the team had a PvP macro enabled, because he said "Target >>> Sphere <<<". What made that funny was that there were half a dozen Borg ships and they were ALL spheres! I was like "lol, which one?", and they said "lol the round one!".

[Lord Revan]

Playing an ISE in STO, during the phase where you have to blow up a generator and the Borg ships guarding it. One of the team had a PvP macro enabled, because he said "Target >>> Sphere <<<". What made that funny was that there were half a dozen Borg ships and they were ALL spheres! I was like "lol, which one?", and they said "lol the round one!".

when did they add the elite versions of those borg missions, I thought ISA was as high as it went (or was this pre-delta?) that said it's rather pointless to say "target:sphere" as most borg ships there are either spheres or nanites sphere's (there's 3 regular cubes and and 1 Tac cube in ISA)

[White Haven]

...Yes, that's the joke.

[EnterpriseSovereign]

It was ages ago (can't be sure exactly how long), before they redid the difficulty on the STFs when they had the normal, advanced then elite versions.

[stardust]

Back in the day, me and a couple friends would sit down and wage massive interstellar war in Sins of a Solar Empire. My one friend Zack, would consistently FORGET to build resource extractors around newly conquered planets, thus depriving himself of two thirds of his income. He did it so often that we began calling it "Pulling a Zack" and would have to remind him to build his damn resource extractors.

Then there's "Pulling a Moe" - flying your entire battlefleet into a minefield. Boom. Boom boom boom. Boom boom boom boom boom. BOOM! The End.

[Zaune]

My dwarven rogue just accidentally sicced a trio of giant fire beetles on a cavern full of goblins with a carelessly-dropped cigarillo.

[Rekkon]

Me (fresh out of Lasik): My vision has been augmented.
Friend: You asked for this.

[InsaneTD]

Started GMing a new star wars game. First adventure saw the group trying to rescue a political prisoner. They found a few others in the prison willing to help them breakout. They don't have time to talk to them and only one survives the fight, then this happens...

Player: So what's your name?
Me: (Feck, he doesn't have one.) They call me the space cowboy, they call me the soldier of love, they call me, Maurice Jenkins.

Maurice Leeroy Jenkins is now a laser shotgun carrying member of the Rebel Alliance.

[TheFeniX]

Kyle: "Wait wait wait.... so, a British accent in Star Wars means you're an Imperial?"
Me: "Yes."
Kyle: "That makes no sense. What about Obi-Wan?."
Me: "Yes."
Kyle: "Yes, what?"
Me: "Yes. Bioware: creators of Grey Jedi."
Kyle: "This is stupid."
Me: "Pfft, shut up. You're a male Vanguard. You get like the best Light and Dark Side choices, a smokin' hot blonde to romance who rocks said sexy British accent, and the option of action on the side with Jaxo, murderous AOE for a tank, and you get to hit people in the face with the butt of your gun as a primary ability."
Kyle: "Yea, it's pretty sweet. You like the Smuggler? Female is Phil and Lil."
Me: "OH SHIT! That's who that is! Ah man, ok ok ok, so I can get over her Dark Side choice being very poorly delivered but she's so cute as light side. But Corso is the dumbest inbred chucklefuck out there. Man, female romance options in this game are garbage. Jedi Knight would have had Doc, Captain 'I'm smooth with the ladies but my dialog reflects that in no way shape or form.' Wait... dammit."
Kyle: "What?"
Me: "Now the Rugrats theme is stuck in my head."

Me: "bvvvvvvv KAPOW."
Me: "BVVVVVV KAPOOOW"
Kyle: "Are you going to say that every time you fire aimed shot."
Me: "Bvvvv
:user has disconnected from your channel:
KAPOW
Wife: "What is going on in there?"

EDIT: My son was going around the house saying "pffffpfpfpfpt KAPOW" last night. Hilarious. Actually, more like "Ka-OW"

[Solauren]

Started GMing a new star wars game. First adventure saw the group trying to rescue a political prisoner. They found a few others in the prison willing to help them breakout. They don't have time to talk to them and only one survives the fight, then this happens...

Player: So what's your name?
Me: (Feck, he doesn't have one.) They call me the space cowboy, they call me the soldier of love, they call me, Maurice Jenkins.

Maurice Leeroy Jenkins is now a laser shotgun carrying member of the Rebel Alliance.

MAHAHAHAHAH

have them meet a guy name W. Wilson. Turns out he's a friend of Mr. Jenkins, and his name is Wade.

[EnterpriseSovereign]

I just completed a very stressful (but also epic) mission on X-COM 2: War of the Chosen. Assuming any of you are X-COM fans I can provide details, I spent a couple of hours writing up this particular encounter!

[InsaneTD]

Started GMing a new star wars game. First adventure saw the group trying to rescue a political prisoner. They found a few others in the prison willing to help them breakout. They don't have time to talk to them and only one survives the fight, then this happens...

Player: So what's your name?
Me: (Feck, he doesn't have one.) They call me the space cowboy, they call me the soldier of love, they call me, Maurice Jenkins.

Maurice Leeroy Jenkins is now a laser shotgun carrying member of the Rebel Alliance.

MAHAHAHAHAH

have them meet a guy name W. Wilson. Turns out he's a friend of Mr. Jenkins, and his name is Wade.

Well Mr Jenkins is a NCO and will be leading his own squad....

[Zaune]

Started GMing a new star wars game. First adventure saw the group trying to rescue a political prisoner. They found a few others in the prison willing to help them breakout. They don't have time to talk to them and only one survives the fight, then this happens...

Player: So what's your name?
Me: (Feck, he doesn't have one.) They call me the space cowboy, they call me the soldier of love, they call me, Maurice Jenkins.

Maurice Leeroy Jenkins is now a laser shotgun carrying member of the Rebel Alliance.

This is almost exactly how my party ended up with our NPC ally and mascot. Only he's a giant magical talking badger who likes to flip his targets off when he casts Magic Missile, which he learned how to do by seeing the rogue making it at the paladin because the paladin was being a smartarse.

This probably tells you everything you could possibly need to know about our campaign.