Let's play: SCRAMming up!

[Eternal_Freedom]

MUTTER to MYSELF that it's been a REALLY BAD couple of DAYS. FAR too MANY INJURIES.

I CRAWL painfully over to the SPORTS BAGS by the CAB, PLANNING to EXPLORE their CONTENTS, but I PASS OUT AGAIN en route.

OOC: Sweet, this is great fun. And cool! We made into PeZook''s sig!

[MKSheppard]

I wait until the truck stops, then I open the gate and TOSS FEELEEPINO JANITOR at my kidnappers. I then throw PHANT for good measure.

This will probably knock the kidnappers unconscious.

[Scottish Ninja]

Independently PROCEED to the HANGAR in FLORIDA. Wait for LLOYD BROS to arrive.

Order MINIATURE MINOX CAMERA.

[Zixinus]

Swear nasty Hungarian swears. Check for precise injuries and any inventory. Check if magnificent mustache is still intact.
Try to talk to my employers. Ask them if they have any drugs they can spare and ask them where are we going.
I consider TALKING TO THEM about EUROPE, but think that should be saved for later.

If I am given any drugs, I carefully examine them and lower dosage just enough to either help cope with the pain or drift back to unconsciousness, depending on whether I can identify the drugs. If I cannot, I do not attempt to use them.

I TALK TO everyone else next to me, asking them how are they doing and checking in with them if they are still alive.
I once again OFFER CHEAP LABOUR, this time to Phant.

[Ilya Muromets]

Spoiler

I was actually expecting the rest of guys to find improbable and crazy action movie-style ways to survive the explosions.

Although, did this game almost split into RANDOME ALTERNATE REALITIES REALTIES where the explosion might or might not have really happened?

meanwhile, in the burning remains of the building, the pieces of ROBOTIC PROBE start to melt into 90s SFX mercury...



*cue terminator soundtrack*

[PeZook]

Unknown time

ROUND 2



Somewhere on the road

You are now: FILIPINO JANITOR, RI'ANN SHAPP, ZIXINUS, PHANT and ETERNAL FREEDOM.

You are in the BACK of a TRUCK. The TRUCKS is EMPTY. You are on the FLOOR like SACKS of POTATOES. You are WEARING your HOSPITAL GOWNS with no BACKSIDES. Your JUNKS are WAVING AROUND in the BREEZE. There are some SPORTING BAGS by the CAB. ETERNAL FREEDOM is PASSED OUT on them.

You are ACHING all OVER. You are no longer DOUSED up to your FUCKING EYEBALLS in DRUGS. It is VERY PAINFUL. You can HEAR somewhat BETTER. Except for RI'ANN SHAPP. The RIDE is VERY BUMPY.

You HEAR a CONVERSATION from the CAB. ZIXINUS manages to COLLECT HIMSELF, which he SIGNALS with a TORRENT of HUNGARIAN CURSES. You begin to WONDER why EASTERN EUROPEANS SWEAR so MUCH. He CHECKS himself for INJURIES. He DISCOVERS he has a lot of BRUISES and CUTS and ACHES and can BARELY WALK.

After VERIFYING the INTEGRITY of his GRAND MOUSTACHE, he STAGGERS to the CAB WALL and SPEAKS to your EMPLOYERS. He is WEARING his HOSPITAL GOWN and you get a GOOD LOOK at his HAIRY BUTTOCKS.

DRIVER Says: What? Who's there? Holy shit bro they woke up! I'm stopping the truck come on we'll see if they're okay. Hang in there, buds!

You HEAR RI'ANN SHAPP mutter SOMETHING with SATISFACTION. RI'ANN SHAPP has WOKEN UP as well. He ROLLS the FILIPINO JANITOR to the DOOR.

The TRUCK stops ABRUPTLY. There are sounds of COMMOTION and EXCITED BABBLING from the OUTSIDE. The BACK DOORS open.

RI'ANN SHAPP SCREAMS some PROFANITY and THROWS the FILIPINO JANITOR on your UNSUSPECTING EMPLOYERS.

The FLYING FILIPINO JANITOR CRASHES into your EMPLOYERS. It is VERY PAINFUL.

FLOYD LLOYD Says: Shit, dude! What the fuck?!

RI'ANN SHAPP JUMPS out of the TRUCK and HITS FLOYD LLOYD with the unconscious form of PHANT. FLOYD LLOYD becomes UNCONSCIOUS. RI'ANN SHAPP starts to RUN AWAY. His HOSPITAL GOWN is WAVING in the WIND. His BUTTOCKS are nowhere near as HAIRY as ZIXINUS'. You will forever REGRET having that THOUGHT.

You REALIZE you have NO IDEA where the FUCK you ARE.



What do you do? _

[Force Lord]

I FUCKING WALK.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Wait, who are you?

Are you Jesus? If you are I must be dead, which sucks.

[Darkevilme]

DRIVE by in HOOD DOWN CONVERTIBLE. STOP to watch HIJINKS.

[Force Lord]

Me, Jesus? Jesus, no. I happen to be random passerby.

[Zixinus]

I HELP get FILIPINO JANITOR off FLOYD. Due to my current state, I do this with minimal strain to myself. I EXAMINE if FLOYD is OK. I then EXAMINE if Phant is OK.
I sit down and ASK FOR DRUGS again, as I watch RI'ANN SHEP walk into nowhere.

[Eternal_Freedom]

I RECOVER CONSCIOUSNESS. I am in a LOT of PAIN.

I STUMBLE to the BACK of the TRUCK, and ask the EMPLOYERS what the HELL is GOING ON, and WHERE ARE WE?

[Zixinus]

I EXPLAIN to ETERNAL FREEDOM what I already know.

[MKSheppard]

I RUN BACK TO THE TRUCK.

I THEN KICK MY FORMER EMPLOYERS IN THE GROIN REPEATEDLY.

I THEN GET IN THE TRUCK AND DRIVE IT UNTIL I FIND AN EXIT TO THE NEAREST TOWN.

ONCE THERE, I CONTACT THE AUTHORITIES.

"Man, I think I've been kidnapped!"

[PeZook]

Unknown time

ROUND 3



Middle of fucking nowhere

You are now: FILIPINO JANITOR, RI'ANN SHAPP, ZIXINUS, PHANT and ETERNAL FREEDOM.

You are STANDING near a TRUCK. The TRUCK is PARKED by a HIGHWAY. It is AFTERNOON. The WEATHER is REALLY HOT. Also VERY HUMID. You are all WEARING your HOSPITAL GOWNS. They are GETTING really UNCOMFORTABLE.

You are ACHING all OVER. You are MOSTLY SOBER. The LLOYD BROS are LAYING on the GROUND. They are UNDER the FILIPINO JANITOR and PHANT. A STRANGE GUY is WALKING BY. He is LOOKING ON with DETACHED INTEREST.

ZIXINUS attempts to DRAG the FILIPINO JANITOR off FLOYD LLOYD. He is BARELY able to do it.

FLOYD LLOYD GETS UP and HELPS his BRO. He DUSTS himself OFF. He is PRETTY MIFFED.

FLOYD LLOYD Says: Man, what the hell is it with that guy?! We saved him, dudes! Totally! The Feds would like throw him in jail, man!

ETERNAL FREEDOM INTERRUPTS by STUMBLING off the TRUCK. He LANDS FACEFIRST on JAGGED STONES. It is VERY PAINFUL. He manages to SPEAK. His SPEECH is SLURRED.

ETERNAL FREEDOM Says: Whut ze HELL is goofing uuun?! Whur ar ue?

FLOYD LLOYD Says: What? Oh, man...yeah, you'd probably want to know...

BOYD LLOYD Says: Hey shouldn't we get that guy...

FLOYD LLOYD Says: Easy bro we should tell them what's up!

BOYD LLOYD Says: Bro he's gonna hurt himself come on!

FLOYD LLOYD Says: Hey don't question my authority in front of employees!

BOYD LLOYD Says: Don't yell at me!

FLOYD LLOYD Says: Fuck you!

BOYD LLOYD Says: Fuck you too!

There is a LOADED PAUSE.

BOYD LLOYD: Hey bro I'm...

There is an INCOMPREHENSIBLE YELL. RI'ANN SHAPP appears and KICKS BOYD LLOYD in the GROIN.

He does it AGAIN.

AND AGAIN.

BOYD LLOYD PASSES OUT on the GROUND. FLOYD LLOYD SCREAMS like a LITTLE GIRL.

RI'ANN SHAPP YELLS again. He RUNS OFF. His LAUGH is TERRIFYING. He STEALS your TRUCK. You are UNABLE to PREVENT the THEFT due to your PHYSICAL CONDITION. He DRIVES OFF. The SPORTING BAGS slide off the TRUCK as he is RAPIDLY DRIVING OFF. Various STUFF spills OUT of THEM.

FLOYD LLOYD: Oh man oh man oh man that guy's a fucking psycho!

The STRANGE GUY snorts with DERISION and CONTINUES WALKING. A SUAVE PLAYBOY DRIVES BY in a CONVERTIBLE. He STOPS and WATCHES your WACKY HIJINKS with MUCH AMUSEMENT.

FLOYD LLOYD Says: Oh man we're never gonna get to Florida in time now...

What do you do? _

[Eternal_Freedom]

BEGIN to RECONSIDER whether TAKING this JOB was a VERY BAD IDEA. I keep getting INJURED PAINFULLY.

WALK PAINFULLY to the SUAVE PLAYBOY'S car, and ASK him to PHONE for HELP, preferably another damn AMBULANCE.

This done, RETURN to try and help LOYD BROTHERS with their IMMENSE GROIN PAIN. FINALLY check to ensure ZIXINUS' GIANT MOUSTACHE is INTACT.

[Darkevilme]

SUAVE PLAYBOY cannot PHONE FOR HELP without a LANDMARK for the AMBULANCE my good MAN.

However SUAVE PLAYBOY offers something almost as good, SUAVE PLAYBOY offers ZIPLOCK BAG which may contain ILLICIT SUBSTANCES.

[Zixinus]

CALM FLOYD DOWN. TELL FLOYD to SUPPORT ME to the PLAYBOY, let me do the talking and follow my lead. While I am going there, I try to THINK whether I can TEMPORARILY DISABLE the PLAYBOY'S CAR and THINK of a GOOD LIE.

CALMLY and POLITELY TALK TO PLAYBOY:
"Greetings sir. As you saw, we are in a dear predicament and I am afraid that I must ask for your help to save our lives. You see, we are patients from Montgomery hospital and contracted a rare condition called excors excerebro. It was difficult to diagnose us and we deteriorated until they found out what was wrong. Let me tell you, it was very painful as it creates bruise-like sypmtoms on the skin. Do not worry! It is not contagious. They could not treat us in Montgomery as it requires a particular machine called EEGNG. It turns out that the closest EEGNG is in Tallahassee, so we we were on our way in an ambulance. However, our group's ambulance broke down. New one you see, some fiddly electronic got sorted out and we were apparently stranded until a friendly trucker allowed us to burrow an empty truck to get us to Tallahassee. We were on our way in it, until that... madman started screaming and convulsing. The drivers stopped and he attacked them, as you saw. I even know why: I was able to talk to him beforehand, and he believed that he was heading to a FEMA deathcamp, rather than to get treatment. I think he lost his supermodel wife and has become paranoid since. So I implore you sir, please help us get to Talahassee or to at least the nearest town. We can pay you for our trouble."

My actions depend on whether the PLAYBOY says yes or no AND whether I think I can disable his car or not.

If he says NO and I CAN disable his car:
- I whisper the word "shade" to FLOYD. I then GRAB my CHEST and collapse towards the car. I try to TEMPORARILY DISABLE the car without the PLAYBOY noticing.
If discovered, I kick or punch PLAYBOY in the groin then the head. HOPE FLOYD can follow and help.

If he SAYS NO and I CANNOT disable the car:
- I whisper to FLOYD to delay the PLAYBOY as long as possible. I examine the STUFF from the SPORTING BAGS to see if there is anything I can use as a weapon or to make something that would distract PLAYBOY.

If YES: I ask him and FLOYD to help me and the others.

EXAMINE ETERNAL FREEDOM for BROKEN BONES and ASK if he feels any BROKEN BONES. HELP ETERNAL FREEDOM up CAREFULLY. OFFER SPARE CLOTHES.
TELL ETERNAL FREEDOM what THE HELL IS GOING ON . TELL him to HELP DELAY PLAYBOY if NECESSARY.

REPEAT WHOLLY WITH PHANT, FILIPINO JANITOR and BOYD LLOYD (in that order).
Spoiler

I actually expected SHEP to collapse due to his injuries. And damn, that took longer to write than necessary. EF got before me.

[Darkevilme]

SUAVE PLAYBOY sees through ZIXINUS's CLINGFILM DECEPTION, but declares that ZIXINUS has CHUTZPAH for the attempt and that he likes him. SUAVE PLAYBOY agrees to drive ZIXINUS and FRIENDS to PLACES, although points out there may be an issue with SEATS.

[Zixinus]

Tell PLAYBOY that we'll just put someone in the trunk. Myself if no one is apparent, I could use some sleep, provided we can get something from SPORTING BAGS to make a bit of a pillow.

If the trunk is unavailable, ask PLAYBOY for current location and FLOYD the location of the place where we need to go. Then EXAMINE BLOYD for any permanent or disabling injuries and then tell FLOYD that considering our condition, HE AND HIS BROTHER CAN FUCKING WALK.

[Eternal_Freedom]

THANK ZIXINUS for his CONCERN. Tell him I haven't BROKEN ANYTHING. CHange into SPARE CLOTHES.

AGREES with ZIXINUS' PLAN, and I also offer to GO IN THE TRUNK, as due to my INJURIES I WON@T NOTICe being FOLDED IN HALF to fit.

BEFORE any DEPARTURE, ACQUIRE exact LOCATION of SPACEPLANE/HANGER from LLOYD BROTHERS. Then concur that they can WALK.

[PeZook]

Spoiler

Shep is actually in the best condition of your sorry lot, since he wasn't beaten up, exploderized, cut or hit with a broom handle

Unknown time

ROUND 4



Middle of fucking nowhere

You are now: FILIPINO JANITOR, ZIXINUS, PHANT, ETERNAL FREEDOM and SUAVE PLAYBOY.

You are STANDING near a ROAD. Your TRUCK is GONE. It is AFTERNOON. The WEATHER is REALLY HOT. Also VERY HUMID. You are all WEARING your HOSPITAL GOWNS. They are GETTING really UNCOMFORTABLE. They are CLINGING to your BODIES. There is a CONVERTIBLE parked NEARBY. It is driven by a SUAVE PLAYBOY.

You are ACHING all OVER. You are MOSTLY SOBER. BOYD LLOYD is LAYING on the GROUND. He is WHIMPERING and CLUTCHING his ABUSED GROIN. It looks VERY PAINFUL. FLOYD LLOYD is in SHOCK.

SUAVE PLAYBOY is ACCOSTED by ETERNAL FREEDOM and ZIXINUS. He decides ZIXINUS has CHUTZPAH and agrees to help. ZIXINUS thankfully DISREGARDS his EVIL PLANS and SMILES under his GRAND MOUSTACHE. The SUAVE PLAYBOY helpfully EXPLAINS you are near MOBILE, ALABAMA.

ZIXINUS HUDDLES with FLOYD LLOYD and ETERNAL FREEDOM. They WHISPER amongst THEMSELVES and LEARN you were GOING to SAINT REAGAN SPACE CENTRE in FLORIDA. He PROVIDES an ADDRESS where he SAYS his SPACE AIRLANE THINGY is LOCATED.

He does NOT LIKE the SUGGESTION of WALKING there, but DECIDES they can HITCH HIKE, since BOYD LLOYD seems FINE despite his ABUSED GROIN. PHANT, FILIPINO JANITOR and ETERNAL FREEDOM are in LOTS OF PAIN and VERY BRUISED and MIGHT have RANDOM SHRAPNEL in them, but can WALK for SMALL DISTANCES.

FLOYD LLOYD Says: Okay you dudes drive ahead and me and my bro will meet you there! Just make sure not to leave for Europe without us, as that would be totally sucky, dude. Man, you're the best employees ever! I am so glad we busted you out of that hospital!

You take a MINUTE to BRUSH and RESTORE the GRAND MOUSTACHE and DIG through the SPORTING BAGS. They contain CIVILIAN CLOTHES and a TABLET. The TABLET is CHARGED. It tells you the DATE. It has an ISSUE of HUNTSVILLE ROCKETRIES downloaded and enjoys ACCESS to TUBENETWEB 4.0

Not wanting to TEST the SUAVE PLAYBOY'S PATIENCE, you PILE INTO his CONVERTIBLE and TAKE OFF heading EAST. The RIDE is SOMEWHAT UNCOMFORTABLE. There are HANDS, HEADS, LEGS and PRIVATE PARTS sticking OUT.

The SUAVE PLAYBOY is getting ANNOYED. You have a 12 hour DRIVE ahead.

What do you do? _

***

January 20th 2025
Monday

HUNTSVILLE ROCKETRIES
Terror suspects break out of hospital

In a daring raid, members of an unknown terrorist organization sprung the suspects of last week terror attack against the Von Braun Aerosace Business Centre from their secure room at a local hospital.

Federal authorities have initiated a manhunt, believing the terrorists to be heading north towards Canada, well known for sheltering antiamerican disruptive elements and plotting the downfall of our great nation with their socialist ways.

Any citizens who spot the escapees are asked to report to their nearest law enforcement office.

We will provide updates as the story develops.

<poor quality photos of your group are attached>

Mobile County Sherrif's Office
510 South Royal Street
Mobile, AL

You are now: RI'ANN SHAPP

You are SITTING in a CHAIR inside a SHERRIFF'S OFFICE. The OFFICE is VERY BUSY. There are many DEPUTIES. They are IGNORING you. You feel COLD and SHRUNK in your HOSPITAL GOWN.

Suddenly, a FEDERAL AGENT enters the OFFICE. He goes STRAIGHT for YOU. He seems ANGRY.

FEDERAL AGENT Says: Well, well...one of the Huntsville Bombers decided to make amends, I see? Take him to the Comfortably Enhanced Interrogation Room!

The DEPUTIES JERK you to your FEET and DRAG you to the CHEMICAL SHED.

What do you do? _

[Eternal_Freedom]

I MAKE SURE to THANK the SUAVE PLAYBOY for his KINDNESS.

I then CONFER with ZIXINUS, IGNORING PHANT and the JANITOR who don't seem to matter anymore. we DISCUSS the FACt that we are now APPARENTLY WANTED FUGITIVES.

I SUGGEST that we may as well LIVE UP TO THIS CHARGE. I FURTHER SUGGEST that once we have the SPACE PLANE in our POSSESION and I have LEARNT TO FLY IT, we ACQUIRE some kind of BOMBS and START PICKING TARGETS.

[Scottish Ninja]

Order BOMBS from RUSSIAN ARMS DEALER. Have them delivered to HANGAR.

[Eternal_Freedom]

ASKS CREEPY RUSSIAN GUY what KIND of BOMBS they are, and HOW MANY can he HAVE DELIVERED without being NOTICED?