Let's Play: Das Thanasboot!

[Thanas]

I think we are pretty much set....


*******

LOG ENTRY.
Still in Stenchia. Shapp shows some promise, as does the Weapons Officer. Still waiting on a decision by the crew on the mascot.

[Simon_Jester]

I support Chardok's seal, if we can use that. If we can't, my vote's for the U-60 mascot.

[PeZook]

If you want to not have it appear with the white background, I'll need it in TGA format with a transparency layer.

[Chardok]

Sadly, that's far beyond my level of skill. I'm but a sonarman.

[FaxModem1]

The Aryan Chef was back in the galley, his anger forgotten as he began making dinner. "Fois, we recans the meat. Bork Bork Bork." Several cans were being thrown around the small galley. The man was cooking, and that was all that mattered.

[MKSheppard]

I think this will work in the game:

http://www.alternatewars.com/SDN_LP/Thanasboote.tga

EDIT....

NO WAIT.

WERNHER VON SHAPP tells everyone to shut the hell up!

Because we will be swimming the seas.......and RAEPing allied shipping, and coming to the surface to breathe like MAMMALS..........the STEEL DOLPHIN IS THE ONE.

http://www.alternatewars.com/SDN_LP/Steel_Dolphin.tga

[PeZook]

I think we are pretty much set....


*******

LOG ENTRY.
Still in Stenchia. Shapp shows some promise, as does the Weapons Officer. Still waiting on a decision by the crew on the mascot.

So I will add the electrician as an Oberfahnrich with a repair specialization. And I assume you just want to proceed straight to the patrol area, no crafty course changes?

If that is indeed so, I will initiate the patrol!

Also thanks Shep, but I had just got done converting this thing on my own

[Chardok]

*redacted to comply with thanasian Security protocols.*

[PeZook]

Two proposals, then! If the unteroffizieren agree to the steel dolphin, so shall it be. If they decide to keep the seal, so shall it be also.

[Chardok]

In honor ov our great Kommandant, zis Unteroffizier must side vis keeping zee seel. Mit apologies to Herr von Shapp.

[MKSheppard]

*make mental note to always make sure that Chardok's character is always on duty at the sonar, listening to whale farts through my POWER TO SET THE WATCH BILL.*

Sleep will be irrevelant to him!

[Chardok]

/ooc In basic I was once caught laying on a bunk during bay maintenance because my job was done but the floor was still being buffed - I wasn't sleeping or anything, just taking a break. The Drill Sergeant caught me and said "I hope you enjoyed this stripe, private!" Insinuating, of course, that I was to be busted down to E-1 for...something...(dereliction of duty?) anyway, I went to him and begged him not to ake my stripes and as penance I was to have last shift fireguard every single night for a month. Drill sergeant justice, I think he called it. Didn't matter to me, I was desperate to hang onto that stripe. Point is, since then, sleep has become irrelevant for me IRL so I'm cool with it :smug:

[PeZook]

Latest crew list is up

Just waiting for the crew to figure out the emblem and for any additional standing orders before firing this thing up.

[MKSheppard]

So how will you handle things? I mean, SH3/SH4/SH5 have some unique quirks related to saved games, like don't save near anyone else, or else you get a boo boo.

[PeZook]

Hmm? I was unaware of such quircks, and I played plenty of SH3

Anyways, I will freeze the game and present the crew with a decision/choice of strategy and then carry it out, but the minutae of battle will be left out.

Save for a few things I have planned that might require some real work!

[FaxModem1]

So, there is no Aryan/Swedish Chef on the crew roster?

[MKSheppard]

I just remembered.

Don't save while submerged

This is a major cause of issues in the SH series (at least in 3/4), which is kind of bizarre, considering it's a subsim.

What I mean is, the game will save correctly, but if you try to load that save again, bad things can happen, like your submarine suddenly taking x amount of damage (this happened in SH4 to me)

[PeZook]

So, there is no Aryan/Swedish Chef on the crew roster?

The BDU would prefer to forget he exists

I just remembered.

Don't save while submerged

This is a major cause of issues in the SH series (at least in 3/4), which is kind of bizarre, considering it's a subsim.

What I mean is, the game will save correctly, but if you try to load that save again, bad things can happen, like your submarine suddenly taking x amount of damage (this happened in SH4 to me)

In case bad things happen, I'll keep backups

[Chardok]

I just remembered.

Don't save while submerged

This is a major cause of issues in the SH series (at least in 3/4), which is kind of bizarre, considering it's a subsim.

What I mean is, the game will save correctly, but if you try to load that save again, bad things can happen, like your submarine suddenly taking x amount of damage (this happened in SH4 to me)

Frick - that was a glitch? Anytime that happened to me, I thought it was just really unfortunate timing and I had missed, like, a passing destroyer or something or forgot that a depth charge was headed my way.

[PeZook]

Okayski. I sleep now, but tomorrow the Atlantic shall welcome you with open arms.

[Force Lord]

"Nein nein nein nein! Vat one goes there, vat one goes here, understand?!", Chief Engineer Gebieter Zwingen shouted to his luckless subordinate, after seeing the latter misplace an important piece of cable.

"Damned rookies..."

[LaCroix]

Log entry, LeutnantOberfähnrich Thomas Funkenschuster.

Used some newspaper and wood glue to permanently insulate the parts of the hand rail.
Important note to self - electrocuting other crewmebers leads to retaliation, electrocuting the Watch Officer leads to reports and demotions.

[The Yosemite Bear]

since I actually know something about desiel engines just put me as a regular idjit in engineering.

of course my tendancy to refer any malfunctioning machinery as a <prostitute>

[Thanas]

I just remembered.

Don't save while submerged

This is a major cause of issues in the SH series (at least in 3/4), which is kind of bizarre, considering it's a subsim.

What I mean is, the game will save correctly, but if you try to load that save again, bad things can happen, like your submarine suddenly taking x amount of damage (this happened in SH4 to me)

This. Oh god, this.

Also, don't save too close to the land. No saving in harbors et.

[PeZook]

Pest, Stenchia
Sept 10, 1943
Minutes past midnight

"ALARM!!!"

The tiny barracks attached to Pest's submarine pens suddenly saw a flurry of activity as sailors attempted to take crash dive stations that weren't there. Superior Thanasian submarines ran into the walls, each other and random furniture in the darkness. Someone was yelling commands about unlocking main vents and diving planes and securing the hatches.

Stabsbootsman Neuss tried to get everyone to the bow, which resulted in a massive human pileup next to the wash basins, just as they were being manned by the dive crew.

The light flicked on, illuminating the figure of the Watch Officer, Wehrner von Shapp, as well as the total mess that the barracks had become. The WO was somewhat speechless at the sight, and really glad the kommandant wasn't there to see it.

"GET YOURSELVES TOGETHER, YOU LIMP-WRISTED BASTARDS! HERR KOMMANDANT IS ORDERING THE CREW ON THE BOOT IMMEDIATELY!", Shapp yelled at the top of his lungs, as he usually did. The crew, now aware of what was actually going on, hurried to get their belongins. The order to board the sub so late at night could only mean one thing - they were going out to sea.

---

Pest, Stenchia, Sub Pen 10
Sept 10, 1943
01:10 local time

"HERR KOMMANDANT ALL STATIONS ARE MANNED AND THE DECK IS CLEARED FOR DEPARTURE!"

Oberleutnant Thanas winced, as von Shapp's weapons-grade voice echoed mightily in the enclosed space of the sub pen.

"Kepp it down, there is no need to yell!"

"JAWOHL! WE'LL GIVE THEM HELL, HERR KOMMANDANT!"

"Ja, ja.", the Kommandant gave up. He knew from experience it was useless, "Keep the watch crew on the bridge"

Shapp saluted crisply, "JAWOHL! AHEAD ONE THIRD!"

Despite the Kommandant's protests, Shapp immediately relayed the order below, and the sub pen filled up with the sound of starting diesel engines. The machine telegraph rang, and the entire sub lurched ahead.

At the Kommandant's will or not, U-1313 was on her way. Her first, and possibly last, patrol has begun!



The night was crisp and sharp, with only an intermediate cloud cover, but almost no moon. The calm seas were of course a problem, making it easier for airplanes to spot any boots stomping on the face of the Bay Of Biscuits (forever), but it was an acceptable tradeoff - weather prognosis for the next days was pretty much the same, but the moon would be getting progressively larger.

Harbor traffic was rather light. They passed Pest's huge floating drydock, and entered the main port channel, under escort from a well-armed Flakboot just in case some wandering Murcan airpilot would try to strike U-1313 as it departer - while that was an insane and suicidal thing to do, Murcans were known to undertake such attempts in an effort to prove their manliness to their fellow pilots.

Having ensured the difficult maneuvering was done, the kommandant went below, to the control center, to discuss the route with the navigator.



Oberfahnrich von Doffenberg jumped as the Kommandant approached him, and scattered his carefully sharpened pencils.

"Ah! Herr Kommandant! Excuse me, I was startled. I am working on our course, ja? It is hard work!"

"What? We have already plotted a preliminary route on land!", kommandant Thanas said angrily, "Vat is ze problem?"

"Ah, it's ze...you see, ze boat is shaking and ze charts, zey look different in this light, but ah...I think I managed, ja! See!"



Herr Kommandant looked at the plotted course. It took one glance to ascertain it, but all his willpower not to slam the navigator's head into something heavy and metallic nearby.

"You spent the last two hours plotting the simplest course possible, and this is what you come up with?", he chose to say instead. The icy tone made the Bavarian with the weird name, whose station was right next to the chart table, shrivel inside. A ham dangling under the ceiling flash-froze, too.

"Uh...is zere something wrong with it?"

"Herr Doofenberg, I don't need a useless navigator, and if this is a joke, then I do not care for it. Either way, I want a proper course plotted in funfzig minuten, or you will find yourself overboard!"

Doofenberg shivered and whimpered, wondering what was up with his plot. He did his best! It was a complicated route they were taking there!

"Funfzig minuten, herr Doofenberg!"

The kommandant angrily shoved the chart into the navigator's hands and turned to the chief engineer, opening his mouth for a report. But he didn't get it - instead, the voice tube relayed von Shapp's panicked voice.

"HARD TO PORT!!!"

The crewmenshen carried it out without thinking, and the boat lurched to the side despite the calm seas. Despite that, Oblt. Thanas raced to the flying bridge to see what was going on. Before he even got there, he heard von Shapp angrily berating a watchman.

"THAT WAS CLOSE! WHY DIDN'T YOU REPORT SEEING HIM, SAILOR?!"

"But...I...I did!"

"I DIDN'T HEAR YOU! WHERE DO YOU THINK WE ARE, AUNT HILDA'S TEA PARTY?! THIS IS A WARSHIP! CONTACTS, ESPECIALLY ON A COLLISION COURSE, ARE TO BE REPORTED LOUDLY AND CLEARLY!"

"I..."

"SHUT UP! YOU JUST GOT YOURSELVES DOUBLE SHIFTS IN DER DIESELRAUM FOR THE NEXT WEEK!"



Thanas could see a small cargo freighter passing U-1313, awfully close, to starboard.

That...is going to be a long patrol, thought the Kommandant. After all, they almost died already, yet they were barely even out of port...

Position BF42
Smell level: low
Sept 11, 1943
14:10 local time

The next two days went by without incident. The sea remained calm and thankfully, airplane patrols over the Bay Of Biscuit seemed to avoid U-1313. That didn't mean the boat was calm, though.

It didn't take more than a day out on sea before another of Obefahnrich Funkenschuste's electrical shenanigans led to Der Arishkoch's accidental electrocution. The resulting vengeance attempt led to casualties amongst three hams and a wooden document closet, before the crew managed to restrain the Koch and lock him back inside the galley.

This seemed enough to ease the situation, although flying cooking pots remained a problem for anyone passing near the galley - which meant everyone, as the only toilet suitable for use was in the aft sections, and obviously someone had to pick up and distribute the meals.

By September 11, the boat was at least off the continental shelf, and since herr Kommandant's threats towards the navigator had finally made his work reasonably accurate, it was decided that a test dive was in order.

As everyone prepared for the patrol's first deep dive, however, a radio message came in from a scout airplane, dated from 40 minutes ago.

Enemy task force spotted. One carrier one battleship with escorts, heading E at medium speed, position AM87.

A glance at the charts, marked with a great many erasermarks, revealed that the reported position of the task force was about 516 kilometres to the north. It was possible to attempt an intercept, if von Doofenberg's calculations were precise.



A decision needed to be made: should U-1313 attempt to intercept the enemy task force?