Let's Play: UFO Aftershock!

[Peptuck]

I love being the only sane person on the squad. Apparently, my only useful abilities are being level-headed, perceptive, and SMOLDERING WITH GENERIC RAGE.

Is there going to be an explanation of our stats?

[Samuel]

I love being the only sane person on the squad. Apparently, my only useful abilities are being level-headed, perceptive, and SMOLDERING WITH GENERIC RAGE.

Is there going to be an explanation of our stats?

Steroids, mentats and hacking personal files.

[Hawkwings]

Sign me up for this!

[SirNitram]

*Bzzt* Whee! *Bzzzt* Whee!

Research, Development, And Giving The Untested Crap To The Squaddies, Division online!

[White Haven]

Oh fuck, Nit as Q Division? ...Is it too late to volunteer for the alien side?

[Nephtys]

April 4th, 19:00
File: Personal Log, Nephtys
*Recording Begins*

As our apparent intelligence head, I've decided to start a journal of events aboard our new Laputa, and our operations. Who knows when something like this could come in handy in the future. Note: Thank goddess I kept this thing. It makes our current analysis of past missions a breeze!. I'm starting on our first deployment of Squad McLargeHuge, shortly after we secured the Reticulan Laputa and brought her systems online.

Squad McLargeHuge gathered around the alien drop-pod mechanism, huddled together shortly after we received the distress message. The Squad had been named with a vote of two in favor (Peptuck who suggested the idea, apparently with unfortunately applied sarcasm) and Ford Prefect, who apparently thought Peptuck was honoring his grandfather. Samuel voted against, and Wautd's suggestions didn't count, with him being the 'new meat'. I shudder while thinking of what kind of hazing the poor guy went through.

I arrived shortly after to brief the team. They would be fired out of the pod-launcher at hypersonic velocities, straight towards what used to be a city named Stuttgart. They would attempt to make contact with the local survivor leader 'Hans', who would direct them to where menacing mutants had occupied a vital trainyard where many of their supplies were stored. After all of our people and material was accounted for, it didn't take a genius to know that we needed these supplies badly. More manpower couldn't hurt either, if we could somehow strike up an alliance with these earthworms.


Our general supply situation is now listed at the top of the holographic globescape in the control room. On the left are our stores of low-end Earth technologies such as raw minerals, metals, simple mechanical parts. In the center is our stockpile of high-tech electronics, optics and similarly complex materials, and on the far right is our store of Alien artifacts and parts. The Laputa's scanner and drop-pod effective radius is circling where we currently are in geosynchronous orbit, and the red beacon is the location of the distress call.

Squad McLargeHuge would be armed with their Reticulan Laser Rifles, unfortunately still unmodified and feeble despite the best attempts of Sir Nitram's R&D Division. Unfortunately also, nearly all of the Reticulan laser rifles were destroyed in attempts to increase their power output, maiming three technicians.

Without further delay, Squad McLargeHuge boarded the pod. Because the vessel was designed for alien anatomy, it was difficult strapping in all four of them into the seats. Hypothetically, it could even sit seven humans based on internal volume and lift capacity, but that would require a remodeling of the entire system. It would have to wait for another day.


After a brief and vomit-inducing descent followed by an equally nauseating decelleration, Squad McLargeHuge didn't need prompting to exit the pod.

[/url]
Hans fortunately had spotted the pod on it's fiery descent, and had prepared himself to greet the visitors. He was not a particularly bright individual, which explained his apparent friendliness to Samuel. I don't know where to begin.

So, you're from that flying thing, huh? That thing... that looks as big as the moon, the thing that sometimes passes over our village?

Hans doesn't give a very strong first impression. Good for us that he was the local survivor leader, else we never would have gotten away with robbing his villagers blind.

Well, it's pretty obvious you don't know jack about what's going on down here. Jeez, where do I even start? Well, about fifty years ago, all that Biomass started sprouting everywhere. Danged near killed everybody on the planet. The rest of us have been fighting it ever since. It's mostly under control now, but there's still pitiful few humans around, especially compared to the days before the disaster.

We believe based on old recordings of Earth Tele-screen programming that providing unwanted backstory is a customary way of greeting strangers.

But it was our ancestors that were kind of responsible for the Biomass in the first place. Humans got too upitty, too careless and self-absorbed. The biomass was just the planet's way of reminding us where we stand in the scheme of things.

Should have figured that Hans was a fundamentalist bastard at the time. Hindsight is 20/20.

Anyway, we could use some help here. There are things we just can't deal with. There are mutants and monsters galore roaming around here. You, with all your fancy equipment and weapons... you could make short work of them! We'd be grateful for any help you could give us.

Okay, this part makes me laugh. Fancy equipment and weapons? We had four people in grey jumpsuits, one borderline retarded, one slightly deranged, one detached with reality, and one completely without experience. Our weapons had issues penetrating wet paper, while this guy was covered in shotgun shells and had rifle magazines stuffed in his pockets.



Squad McLargeHuge naturally accepted Hans's request for aid, and proceeded into the trainyard. Talk about 'mutants' made them pretty nervous. They advanced in pairs, with Ford Prefect and Peptuck equipped with rifles, covering Wautd and Samuel's advance.


Suddenly, we saw our first Mutant, emerging from behind a wrecked train car. It was a disgusting, worm-like creature with a pair of thin but elongated clawed arms, and a giant bulging brain facing right forward.


"It's like some kind of... brain... man." intoned Samuel, a most careful observation of the creature.


Given that it was an ugly freak, Squad McLargeHuge opened fire... only to realize their weapons were lightly scorching it's leathery skin. These damn Reticulan weapons sure were accurate, but they hit weakly.

"Wh--What's that!" exclaimed Wautd as he spotted motion behind the Brainman. A new form. Something... different.

"...it has a gun. A real gun!" Wautd blinked back, lifting his rifle suddenly. He seemed however, too surprised to pull his weapon's trigger.


And to make it worse, another form slithered out from a patch of tall grass, only meters in front of Samuel. Confusing it for some bizzare Earth animal, Samuel fired at it anyway.


It shrugged off our laser fire (figures), and lunged for Samuel's leg. Hundreds of gnawing teeth were under the damn thing, tearing into his ankle fairly badly. Wautd screamed (Note: Actually, he shrieked) and unloaded laser fire into it. The combined fire scared the creature under the train car, where it curled up.


Another Brainman soon entered the kill-zone. With Ford Prefect and Peptuck now in place, the cross-fire of lasers actually was effective enough to get the better of these creatures. The gun-wielding alien was shot down first, for fear of his mighty explosive propellant based slug cannon. (Note: Actually, it's a 9mm Beretta), while the Brainmen seemed limited to close-range fighting with their claws.

The gun-wielding humanoid however, survived the engagement. It moved weakly, having lost the use of a leg and oozing fluids out of it's hideous hunched back. It eagerly anticipating the interrogation of this creature, designated 'Morelman' by the locals.


Peptuck, overcome with bloodlust, heroically runs up and shoots the helpless unarmed wounded creature in the face.

You guys from the sky sure got here in the nick of time. You saved the village, and we're really grateful. The old factory will be a valuable source of technologies and minerals. We're happy to share anything we can with you.
If you'd like to build a permanent outpost on the planet, we'd be happy to help if you're willing to help us. Some of our more... ambitious.... youths might even be convinced to join your ranks.

Hans was pretty eager to give us anything we wanted. Resources? Manpower? Everything, just because we 'saved the village' by killing some weird scuttling creature called a 'Flatster', two hobbled snake mutants that could have been killed with flint spears, and one lurching zombie armed with a low powered handgun. Heavens help these people if they had to fight something like a couple of wolves.

Also, based on the way he looks in that picture, I think Hans gave whoever was holding the camera a giant bear hug.

We accepted his offer naturally of a permanent outpost, using his village as our starting point. His more 'ambitious' personel were quickly drafted into our forces, and those unfit for service to our benevolent cause have been relocated to an abandoned mine in nearby Prague, via the recaptured railway station. Their labors will be invaluable for our efforts to resupply. Hans barely protested our second-line forces garrisoning his house as a field HQ, and has found new quarters in a local wine cellar.


Result: Mission accomplished. Four minimally threatening mutants were killed, and we subjugatedallied with local survivors. Samuel required ten hours of skin grafts with Laputa medical resources to heal the mauling received from the Flatster.


Good News: Vanas was recruited from the locals, and issued the 9mm Pistol, given that she was the only one with any experience with terrestrial firearms. She was also given a combat knife, spare laser pistol and very stylish grey jumpsuit. She's also profoundly more competent than anyone else in the squad.
Bad News: We're out of Reticulan laser cells. Even though the laser weapons are rubbish, I trust Squad McLargeHuge even less with sharp, pointy objects.


Stutgart Base is now online, and Prague Forced Labor Relocation Center will come online shortly.

*End Recording*

(What shall we research? We can go towards recovering Earth Weapons, replicating the alien Laser technology, working on a lab for understanding of Aerospace technologies, an Indoctri--- Educational facility for the locals, a biology lab, or the analysis of the alien records aboard Laputa.)

[Darkevilme]

Research earth weapons. If only so you can issue the rest of the team the mighty power of the 9mm Beretta.

[Peptuck]

We need more human guns. Onlly the power of superior human weaponry will defeat the foul xenos.

Peptuck, overcome with bloodlust, heroically runs up and shoots the helpless unarmed wounded creature in the face.

I will gladly risk getting blood splatters on my face to protect the rest of the team!

My desire for revenge is satiated. For now. But soon.... Oh, but soon....

[Samuel]

My leg! It is where I keep my ligments and tendons!

We had four people in grey jumpsuits, one borderline retarded, one slightly deranged, one detached with reality, and one completely without experience.

Which one is which?

Even though the laser weapons are rubbish, I trust Squad McLargeHuge even less with sharp, pointy objects.

You do realize that you have to give us high explosives eventually, right?

I love being the only sane person on the squad. Apparently, my only useful abilities are being level-headed, perceptive, and SMOLDERING WITH GENERIC RAGE.

Doornobs are for wimps!

[PeZook]

Guns. Also, when we finally get armor, we really need to repaint it in a camo scheme.

Seriously, BLUE armor? What?

And hey...can I be the crazy super-enthusiastic Earth kid who grew up on 40K comics he scavenged from a local library and now proudly serves as a Laputan Space Marine?

Or something. Yeah.

[wautd]

However, Wautd's merits allowed him entry into our team. While of average strength and quite remarkable shooting accuracy, Wautd paradoxically has terrible eyesight and hearing. Maybe he's just lucky, but that's the sort of luck we'll want on our team.

Remarkable accurate to real life

April 4th, 19:00
File: Personal Log, Nephtys
*Recording Begins*
and Wautd's suggestions didn't count, with him being the 'new meat'.

It's because I'm black , isn't it?

[Ford Prefect]

Which one is which?

I can guess, and I don't like my guess.

It's because I'm black , isn't it?

No, it's because you were obviously a pussy. An lo, you were!

She's also profoundly more competent than anyone else in the squad.

It worries me that some random schmuck we picked up off the surface is more competant than the entire squad minus Samuel*. I don't trust these mud people.

*He drags the average down.

[Vanas]

I'm not that big on your fancy space book learnin', but I sure as hell can shoot straight unlike most of ya. That means ya go in first, roight? Mister Knifey agrees with me.

[Ford Prefect]

On the upside, Vanas is so stupid that she might as well actually be retarded. If we're lucky, every recruit we get from the surface will have apparently no intelligence and we superior space people can lord it over them.

[Samuel]

On the upside, Vanas is so stupid that she might as well actually be retarded. If we're lucky, every recruit we get from the surface will have apparently no intelligence and we superior space people can lord it over them.

Now you are thinking straight! Who cares if they are inferior- it makes us superior and makes it easier to pick up their women. We can dazzle them with computers and other high tech trinkets.

*He drags the average down.

I feel a surge of pride when I read that. I need to get my head examined.

It's because I'm black , isn't it?

No, it is because you made us "xeno-burgers". Those were awful and everyone had the runs for days.

[Nephtys]

I'm terribly amused at Vanas's scores in action. She's pretty accurate and fast compared to the rest of the squad, but her abyssmal intelligence score, and enemy knowledge means that she's going to be the character who shoots zombies in the stomach the whole movie.

No wonder the locals were having problems if they all fought like that, even with the mighty power of the 9mm Beretta.

[Samuel]

I'm terribly amused at Vanas's scores in action. She's pretty accurate and fast compared to the rest of the squad, but her abyssmal intelligence score, and enemy knowledge means that she's going to be the character who shoots zombies in the stomach the whole movie.

No wonder the locals were having problems if they all fought like that, even with the mighty power of the 9mm Beretta.

I'm guessing the only reason the locals are alive is they taste too bad for the xenos to eat them. Otherwise the whole planet being turned to goo would have killed them all.

In other news, we probably need to introduce them to showers.

[Ryan Thunder]

I'm terribly amused at Vanas's scores in action. She's pretty accurate and fast compared to the rest of the squad, but her abyssmal intelligence score, and enemy knowledge means that she's going to be the character who shoots zombies in the stomach the whole movie.

Yes, but she'll be accurately shooting the zombies in the stomach. For the whole movie.

[Narkis]

Sign me up for the action too. I'm eager to kill some mutant commie bastards and/or die for the motherlandship

[Ford Prefect]

Sign me up for the action too. I'm eager to kill some mutant commie bastards and/or die for the motherlandship

Given the nature of life in space versus the nature of Earth in Aftershock (based on what I have seen here), it is likely that the space people probably fit as being Communists.

[phred]

I want an airplane!! although we should probably research some sort of weapons more effective than 'gives you a bad sunburn' first

[The Yosemite Bear]

can I still be the evil criminal mastermind for you guys?

[White Haven]

can I still be the evil criminal mastermind for you guys?

Aaah, a Quartermaster in the making if I ever heard of one!

[Nephtys]

can I still be the evil criminal mastermind for you guys?

Aaah, a Quartermaster in the making if I ever heard of one!

Of course not. Yosemite Bear will be our Director of Earthside Labor Resources. We've got hundreds of newly rescued humans down there, and those railroads we need to maintain our mining operations won't build themselves, after all.

[The Yosemite Bear]

can I still be the evil criminal mastermind for you guys?

Aaah, a Quartermaster in the making if I ever heard of one!

Of course not. Yosemite Bear will be our Director of Earthside Labor Resources. We've got hundreds of newly rescued humans down there, and those railroads we need to maintain our mining operations won't build themselves, after all.

Excelllent, and until you develop those 9mm weapons, we can start up the brewery for our sla- loyal minions, after all it workied for the Egyptians after all.