Let's Play: TEAM L.A.M.E.

[FaxModem1]

Considering EBAY doesn't let you lower your bid, I'm stuck with bidding on all three items until someone bids higher. However, the choice, if it comes down to it, are PASSENGER MODULE and SPACE TOILET.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Spoiler

Oh damn, I'd forgotten that. Well, this is future-eBay, so I'll say it gives you the option of withdrawing your bid without consequence.

[Zixinus]

Carefully and patiently wait my turn, interacting with STAFF with friendly politeness and display [b absolutely no sign of hostility[/b]. Ask IVAN to do the same.

The last time I tried robbing the bank I got myself robbed and had lose pursuing cops wearing only a paper bag on my head.

And that was in a more civilized, safe country. I'd probably have to do something involving a dog next.

OOCish: Seriously, a bank robbery? In libertarian Russia? The STAFF probably out-guns me (and probably a SWAT team too) and would give me acute lead poisoning before I could finish the words "Attention ,this is a ba.... GAHHHH".

That, and if all goes well this is where we will get more money from our client once we do the job. Knowing our luck, that won't be so simple but there is no reason to make it difficulty pre-emptively.

[Eternal_Freedom]

Spoiler

I thought I'd throw it out as an alternative option. Given how restless the rest of thecustomers are, I would have given you an even chance of the other customers joining in the looting. You could then have used them as human shields or something.

But your solution is probably best.

[doom3607]

INSANE CTHULHU CULTIST YELLS "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" and waits to see if the VOICES can COMPLETE THE COUPLET. If they CAN, they are PROBABLY FELLOW CULTISTS, or at least CTHULHU-WORSHIPPERS, so he GOES TO THEM. If NOT, he IGNORES THEM.

[Eternal_Freedom]

INSANE CTHULHU CULTIST YELLS "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" and waits to see if the VOICES can COMPLETE THE COUPLET. If they CAN, they are PROBABLY FELLOW CULTISTS, or at least CTHULHU-WORSHIPPERS, so he GOES TO THEM. If NOT, he IGNORES THEM.

They DO NOT COMPLETE the COUPLET. But THEY are STILL CALLING you into the FOG.

You can now HEAR OTHERS CHANTING, and WAITING EXPECTANTLY:

"That is not dead which can eternal lie..."

[noncredible]

"Jsem Major Václav Maisner z Polici Ceske Republice!"

CREEPY MAN then DISCARDS the CAPE and PULLS a BERET out of one of the SUIT's POCKETS. He PUTS the BERET on. He looks MORE NORMAL than BEFORE. He is STILL HIGHLY CREEPY, however.

[Simon_Jester]

Considering EBAY doesn't let you lower your bid, I'm stuck with bidding on all three items until someone bids higher. However, the choice, if it comes down to it, are PASSENGER MODULE and SPACE TOILET.

MILDLY DERANGED PHYSICIST feels a twitch in his DOC BROWN HAIR.

"Are you MAD? You're passing up on spare tiles! We need those! Also, I thought the passenger module contained a toilet. Or didn't it? I may be insufficiently informed..."

[Eternal_Freedom]

The PASSENGER MODULE, as of RIGHT NOW, does NOT CONTAIN A TOILET, but HAS a SPACE for a STANDARD ALTEA SPACE TOILET.

HAVING the PASSENGER MODULE allows us to SAVE MAIN CABIN SACE for CREW, without PASSENGERS or TOILET.

[Simon_Jester]

Can we install the toilet in the crew compartment at all? Because we're in serious trouble otherwise:

-We can't fly without heat shield repairs, which may be impossible without the spare tiles.
-We can't get our passenger to fly without a toilet.
-Therefore, we need the toilet, AND we probably need the spare tiles.

If we can't install the toilet without the passenger module, we are forced to choose between the toilet and the spare tiles, and yet we may very well need both of them to fly.

MAD SCIENTIST is not happy.

[Eternal_Freedom]

The TOILET can be INSTALLED in the CREW COMPARTMENT, but it will REDUCE CABIN SPACE CONSIDERABLY.

[Simon_Jester]

Well, our cabin seems to be able to accomodate about a dozen people. We don't really need more than about four crew plus our... two passengers, or three? For the time being, that's good enough.

[Force Lord]

"Jsem Major Václav Maisner z Polici Ceske Republice!"

CREEPY MAN then DISCARDS the CAPE and PULLS a BERET out of one of the SUIT's POCKETS. He PUTS the BERET on. He looks MORE NORMAL than BEFORE. He is STILL HIGHLY CREEPY, however.

HISTORIAN is admittedly a BIT CREEPED OUT.

"Well Mr....Maisner. What's a Czech policeman doing in Russia anyway?"

[noncredible]

Spoiler

I still haven't decided whether he's actually Maisner or just some drunk/stoned guy who watched Byl Jednou Jeden Polda recently. Probably the latter.

MAISNER PULLS a REVOLVER out of the HERRING's ASS and starts SHOOTING the CEILING while LAUGHING like a MANIAC.

[Force Lord]

Spoiler

I still haven't decided whether he's actually Maisner or just some drunk/stoned guy who watched Byl Jednou Jeden Polda recently. Probably the latter.

MAISNER PULLS a REVOLVER out of the HERRING's ASS and starts SHOOTING the CEILING while LAUGHING like a MANIAC.

"Shit! Stop that! Don't make me subdue you!"

[noncredible]

MAISNER PASSES OUT.

[Force Lord]

Sees MAISNER FALL UNCONCIOUS.

"That was close. JANITOR, help me drag him up."

[FaxModem1]

"Okay, so, tiles and toilet."

REPAIR GUY retracts bid on EBAY for PASSENGER COMPARTMENT. REPAIR focuses BIDDING FU on SPACE TOILET and SPACE TILES to make sure he doesn't get into BIDDING WAR.

[Zixinus]

CALL REPAIR GUY and ask him how things are going.

When learning the news of BIDS, I suggest that we focus on the TOILET and SPARE TILES. The PASSENGER MODULE we can get later and there is space in the PASSENGER COMPARTMENT.

Tell him that we can increase the bid. as I'm willing to spend more money on this (about half of our pre-payment, that is 500 000$). However, I remind him again that REPAIRS and REFUELLING are more important.

[doom3607]

INSANE CTHULHU CULTIST prepares for GLORIOUS BATTLE, in the NAME of DREAD CTHULHU.

[Force Lord]

SHOUTS, "Oi! We got ourselves an intruder here! A stoned one too!"

[FaxModem1]

REPAIR GUY steps away from EBAY auction to investigate shouting.

REPAIR GUY shouts back

"Tie him up and bring him up here!"

[Force Lord]

HISTORIAN OBEYS. TIES UP STONED MEISNER and drags him away from the BASEMENT.

[noncredible]

MAISNER WAKES UP.

"Je suis fatigue."

MAISNER SEES QUIET HISTORIAN.

"Tu es fatty-gay!"

MAISNER LAUGHS VERY LOUDLY and FAINTS AGAIN.

[Force Lord]

SHAKES HEAD. Gets out of basement with MAISNER in tow.

"Look at this guy. He's stoned."