Jesus: Combat Evolved (no, for real)

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Darth Wong
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Post by Darth Wong »

I love the idea of a Christian website trying to tie the Master Chief to Jesus. Just imagine the quotes:

"Blessed are the meek, for I will kick Covenant ass to protect them."

"Blessed are the peacemakers, in all of their nuclear glory. Verily, I shall smite the Covenant fuckers with them."

"Let anyone among you who is without ammo be the first to throw a stone."

"I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me. Yes you, and I will find you and rip out your colon."
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GeneralTacticus
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Post by GeneralTacticus »

As I recall, it was something along the lines of "he has dedicated his life to protecting humanity, and given up all temptations", or something along those lines. However, I must say I prefer your version. And who knows, maybe in a few thousand years the Haloverse will have a religion that worships the Chief for some reason, and has those things in their holy book...
"The bird let out a slow chicken cackle. It sounded like a chicken, but in her heart she knew it wasn't. In that instant, she completely understood the concept of a chicken that was not a chicken. This looked like a chicken, like most of the Mud People's chickens. But this was no chicken.

"This was evil manifest."

- Terry "Not a fantasy author, honest" Goodkind, bringing unintentional comedy to a bookshop near you since 1994.
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Lancer
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Post by Lancer »

GeneralTacticus wrote:As I recall, it was something along the lines of "he has dedicated his life to protecting humanity, and given up all temptations", or something along those lines. However, I must say I prefer your version. And who knows, maybe in a few thousand years the Haloverse will have a religion that worships the Chief for some reason, and has those things in their holy book...
Hmmn, I see it as more likely the remaining loyalist Covenant will have him deified. Similar to "The Ganner" in post-NJO Vong mythology.
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2000AD
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Post by 2000AD »

GeneralTacticus wrote:As I recall, it was something along the lines of "he has dedicated his life to protecting humanity, and given up all temptations", or something along those lines.
Well in that case lets go worship the Space Marines from WH40K :D
At least lets have some ultimate badasses to worship.
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Chardok
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Post by Chardok »

Darth Wong wrote:I love the idea of a Christian website trying to tie the Master Chief to Jesus. Just imagine the quotes:

"Blessed are the meek, for I will kick Covenant ass to protect them."

"Blessed are the peacemakers, in all of their nuclear glory. Verily, I shall smite the Covenant fuckers with them."

"Let anyone among you who is without ammo be the first to throw a stone."

"I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me. Yes you, and I will find you and rip out your colon."
FUQ! Particularly the bolded!
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Brother-Captain Gaius
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Post by Brother-Captain Gaius »

Sounds like something right out of 40k. :P
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Trekdestroyer
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Post by Trekdestroyer »

Darth Wong wrote:I love the idea of a Christian website trying to tie the Master Chief to Jesus. Just imagine the quotes:

"Blessed are the meek, for I will kick Covenant ass to protect them."

"Blessed are the peacemakers, in all of their nuclear glory. Verily, I shall smite the Covenant fuckers with them."

"Let anyone among you who is without ammo be the first to throw a stone."

"I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me. Yes you, and I will find you and rip out your colon."
...and I shall eat it with salt and pepper fresh out of your body. Then I shall drink your blood like you drink mine...
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