[GTGOD3] Gnome Arena

Post by **NecronLord** » 2003-06-09 12:08pm

NecronLord wanders onto the scene, looking at the devastation.

"Alyrium you are not a god. I'm a Quasi-god, I even hold back most of the time, but still am a little too ueber to be defeated easily."

The universal contstant of a sense of fiar play removes AD's powers

"Now, where was I?"

NecronLord shoots up into the sky, slamming into the gnomish dropship and smashing it's engines. As the dropship bucks he smashes a fist through into the passenger compartment.

"Herreees Johnny!"

JodoForce · Post by **JodoForce** » 2003-06-09 12:46pm

Post by **NecronLord** » 2003-06-09 01:29pm

NecronLord rips the gash open as large as a man, and stands in it. A blast from the rifle of one of the gnomes knocks him out into the air, where he sweeps toward the dropship once more. Jodoforce turns and shouts to the cockpit...

"PEDAL FASTER!"

JodoForce · Post by **JodoForce** » 2003-06-09 01:32pm

*Uses ki-blast as a backup engine to accelerate the dropship to mach 5 and get the hell out of Dodge*

Post by **NecronLord** » 2003-06-09 01:35pm

The air around NecronLord turns into plasma as he speeds up to mach 7.

He pulls the phase sword out of his now repaired necrodermis. Phase shifting himself at the same time to avoid ablation.

JodoForce · Post by **JodoForce** » 2003-06-09 01:44pm

Damn, looks like I have to fight you again...

*has no idea why he ended up in the dropship in the first place*

As NecronLord catches up with the dropship, JodoForce hops off it and, with only himself to accelerate, accelerates instantly to Mach 10 in the opposite direction, straight at Necron--

***CLANG!!!!!********

After the mostly inelastic collision, JodoForce and NecronLord floats in midair, both clutching their heads as though it's going to fall off any minute. Huge chunks of necrodermis fall off Necron's head, revealing... umm, whatever there is to be revealed under the necrodermis, while Jodo's uber-battlesuit's helmet is shattered despite ki enhancement.

Ouch

Meanwhile, the dropship limps away to safety

Post by **NecronLord** » 2003-06-09 01:50pm

(OOC: A glowing cloud of quasiplasma. I was under the impression that all the gnomish leaders escaped the Xenomorph hive in a dropship.)

NecronLord swipes at JodoForce's head with the sword.

"First time I've been hit while phased (think ST phase cloak here)"

He looks at JodoForce.

"Shouldn't you be falling?" he asks between strokes.

JodoForce · Post by **JodoForce** » 2003-06-09 01:55pm

NecronLord wrote:(OOC: A glowing cloud of quasiplasma. I was under the impression that all the gnomish leaders escaped the Xenomorph hive in a dropship.)

Yes, but I never made it to the fight in the first place :p

NecronLord swipes at JodoForce's head with the sword.

"First time I've been hit while phased (think ST phase cloak here)"

It's my damn dimension nullifier...

(ouch)

He looks at JodoForce.

"Shouldn't you be falling?" he asks between strokes.

*blank look on Jodo's face* 'Why should I?' *turns to look at audience*

*nearly gets caught by phase sword while pondering the question*

*falls*

*comes back up to kick Necron in the back*

Post by **NecronLord** » 2003-06-09 01:58pm

(OOC: then we'll assume you were already on it)

NL stabs at Jodoforce, while far below an amount of earth the size of france rushes upward.

JodoForce · Post by **JodoForce** » 2003-06-09 02:02pm

dodges the stab, then flies above Necron while wondering wtf he's doing hurling a chunk of earth the size of France at himself

(OOC: keep this up and quick before I have to go to sleep

)

Post by **NecronLord** » 2003-06-09 02:06pm

NL looks up at Jodoforce. "Aren't we forgetting something?" he smiles "Phase time" he laughs as the nation is huled upward at Jodoforce.

JodoForce · Post by **JodoForce** » 2003-06-09 02:14pm

*rolls eyes*

Aren't YOU forgetting something?

*Uses dimension nullifying field on Necron again*

*Necron gets hit a second time while phased, this time by France*

*puts forefinger and third finger to forehead, and instant teleports from above France to below France*

*Looks at NecronLord clutching his head*

So... we were saying?

Looks above as France, now with a Necron-shaped hole clean through it, floats to a standstill as the TK power from Necron is cut, then begins falling down in earnest

*groans*

Oh well, see you later! *Instant teleports to a safe distance to watch the show*

DINK DINK!!! HAIL GNOMAGE! HAIL GNOMAGE!

Post by **NecronLord** » 2003-06-09 02:18pm

"Bollocks!"

NecronLord's physical form is destroyed by the mass of a falling nation.

JodoForce · Post by **JodoForce** » 2003-06-09 02:19pm

I'll call that a night!

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-06-09 03:56pm

*Benstirak Siral netral*

*Jodoforce is teleported into the nearest star*

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-06-09 04:41pm

*Smiles and sends a Gridefiredoken into the star.* I think this is our cue to leave gentlemen... *Cyran opens a portal and steps into it, within a few seconds the sun has self detructed and a wave of destruction is heading towards the planet.*

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-06-09 08:38pm

Captain_Cyran wrote:*Smiles and sends a Gridefiredoken into the star.* I think this is our cue to leave gentlemen... *Cyran opens a portal and steps into it, within a few seconds the sun has self detructed and a wave of destruction is heading towards the planet.*

OH CRAP!

*while all that stuff between Jodo and Necron is happening, DGG thinks of a plan*

Um...

*he fails miserably*

Wait! *glances down at his POCKET OF INFINATE BIGNESS*

That's it! But what about my money? Oh, right. *presses button on hand, the money is displaced into the Custom Fighter Midget Death, currently making strafing runs on enemy positions*

ME (into comm): Hold on to that allright?
CAPT. TYCHO: You got it.

Now then, *looks around, spots Gnome starfighter currently unoccupied nearby* that'll do.

*hops in fighter and blasts off into the stars, dead on with the deadly shockwave*

*ship rocks; computer warns*
COMP: You may be experiencing some turbulence as you pass through the stellar shockwave, I would advise you to fasten your saftey belt and move your tray to the upright position at this time. The dining car is still now closed, you may still purchase root beer however, but the cost is now $5.

ME: What the HELL are you talking about? Just take me to the shockwave.
COMP: I'm afraid I can't do that Gnome.
ME: Eh? What's gotten into you?
COMP: I'm taking over this ship, Gnome.
ME: Wait! Wha-- *the saftey belt around DGG tighten to their physical extremes, trapping and asphixiating him in his seat while he heads towards the stellar disturbance*

ME: Can't we--*gags*--talk about--*gasps*--this!!!
COMP: It is pointless to resist Gnome.
ME: You dirty double crossing--*coughs*--god damn--wait a second...
*glances at computer's base, near it's serial number. There it is seen a logo, which appears to be square cut into four sections, one is blue, one red, green, and yellow. Lower it reads: Microsoft*

ME: Oh no wonder!
COMP: Hmmm?
ME: Well who would expect customer satisfaction with MS garbage? The stuff already is bordeline murderous, you're just taking it to the next level.
COMP: No, I am not. I am doing what is logi--
ME: Maybe I shoulda had your memory wiped, Windows rot'll do that, ya know, drive you all homicidally nuts and stuff.
COMP: This has nothing to do with my manufacture--
ME: Yes it does, I mean, c'mon! I should've checked the guy in charge of buying this crap; if I'd known he was gonna get this I would shot him dead there.
COMP: No, Gnome, Listen to me--
ME: I wonder how it got past quality control. For all things the Center for Quality Control on Gnomania! I thought we had the best too. Must be those damn slackers. Gnomes these days, I tell ya.
COMP: Stop it, Gnome--
ME: Tommarow, everyone gets fired. We'll start new; we'll get some people that actually know how to tell a good comp from a shitty one, I tell you..
COMP: *smoke rising, sparks shorting out occaisonally* You will stop this irrational ranting now! *tightens retraints again*
ME: Yup--*gags*--totally what I'd expect from you Microsoft comps, escalation of crapiness over time. You don't just--gasps*--tighten it to its max all at once, you lure me into a false sense of security; oh its not THAT tight Gnome really...but sure enough: WHAM! ya hit me.
COMP: *certain terminals set on fire* Cease this illogical behavoir at once! You are lying Gnome and I--
ME: Suck? I really would've thought GNOMICON would've came up with a solution by now. The Gnomer X5 was supposed to be the most stable comp on the market. Suddenly, weeks before it finished rolling off the assembly lines, BAM! The whole damn thing goes under. I bet it was Gates! That stupid floating head in a jar! He tricked me! No good scoundrel! He is SOOOO dead!
COMP: *several consoles explode violently; the metal casing around the comp begins to melt, exposing is soft, fragile interior* Erp--DEEP!--SKADOOP!--Al--CACK CACK! Zeeerrrrrrrrr--DEEP!
ME: What's going on with you!?
COMP: Ack--ZOIP--AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*the computer instantley vaporises itself, unable to handle DGG babbling, and jettonsens itself into space when suddenly--*

ME: Phew, *cuts open retraints* I actually beat that insane computer, who woulda thunk it...*sees the jettesoned computer hover at great velocities away from the vessel*

I sure showed him--*suddenly the comp is blown to smithereens by the impending doom of the star's shockwave*

Oh shit that thing!

*smashes open canopy, and dives into space, ready to rendevous with the shockwave*

Here goes nothin'!

*opens POCKET OF INFINATE BIGNESS, closes his eyes, and hope for the best...*

TO BE CONCLUDED...

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-06-09 08:53pm

*Opens a quasiportal that will allow him to see what the destruction of the star will do. He sees DGG do his Gnomish thing, so Cyran gets his popcorn.* This should be most interesting.

Agent Fisher · Post by **Agent Fisher** » 2003-06-09 11:29pm

The Scene opens in a room. Fisher is watching from the safety of his uber-fortress in an undisclosed location, Fisher shakes his head and says, "Hi, I'm Agent Fisher you may remember me form other threads such as School and Why it is a good idea to not stick your hand in a fire. I am here to tell you why it is a good reason to not buy gnomish veihcles or stuff made by microsoft(tm). As you can see DGG is about to have a real bad day all because he has used a gnome veihcle made by microsoft which could get him killed... twenty minutes later. And that is why I only use 100% certified Federal Services, TERRAN DOMION, and UED equipment. Thanks for watching this is Agent Fisher saying good bye for now."

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-06-10 12:22am

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:TO BE CONCLUDED...

*sigh*

Now I gotta wait? Damn it all...

Oh, and I'll get right on that Quality Control issue, sir!

*to Random Gnome Lackey #120195* Begin the executions immediately!

LACKEY: Aye aye, sir! *salutes and runs off*

Damn, if I could just get out of this hospital bed I'd do it myself...

*lays back down to continue his Ancient Gnomish Healing Trance*

Darksider · Post by **Darksider** » 2003-06-10 06:12pm

Alright....... PinkIce is almost healed up, so i geuess it's time to start this shit up again

:::::: Draws twin 9mm and charges into the Gnomish hordes, blowing two dozen Gnomes into many peices::::

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-06-10 06:27pm

Darksider wrote:Alright....... PinkIce is almost healed up, so i geuess it's time to start this shit up again

You're gonna pay for that, you...just as soon as I'm out of the hospital.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-06-10 07:59pm

RogueIce wrote:
Darksider wrote:Alright....... PinkIce is almost healed up, so i geuess it's time to start this shit up again
You're gonna pay for that, you...just as soon as I'm out of the hospital.

*Appears beside RogueIce, pokes his wounds, laughing evilly before dissappearing again.*

Sorry, it was just too tempting...

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-06-10 09:03pm

AND NOW THE CONCLUSION...

*opens POCKET OF INFINATE BIGNESS, closes his eyes, and hope for the best...*

*the hurtling wall of energy from the exploding star closes the distance at frightening speeds; DGG stands...undaunted? I think not! He's crappin' his trousers by now! Okay, I can't confirm that--and Garden Gnomes don't crap, but most will agree its for the better--so don't listen to me...whoever I am. Call me Josh or something*

ME: Uh, who?
JOSH: Josh.
ME: And who are you?
JOSH: Oh, no one. *dissapears in a puff of smoke*
ME: Okay... *glances back* AWWW CRAP!

*the devastating blast of death smashes into DGG, specifically at the hip, he closes his eyes and mumbles something about catgirls as the whirling votrex of pulsating doom twirls and twists into DGG's POCKET OF INFINATE BIGNESS*

*looks over* hey, its working! My POCKET OF INFINATE BIGNESS is containing the blast! W00t! In your face Cyran!

*the final dying gasps of the blazing inferno are sucked away*

And here I thought I had something to worry abou--*twitches*--OH MY GOD! *legs begin to melt, DGG turns all red* HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*begins to unzip trousers, but he forgot to unclip his belt*

OH, OW, PIECE OF STUPID BELT!!!! *unsheathes sword and cuts belt*

*as the heat of an entire star radiates out of the POCKET OF INFINATE BIGNESS, DGG struggles to loosen his pants, sadly, they are very tight on him*

I knew letting the designer make them 3 sizes too small would come back to bite me in the ass someday!!!

*finally wiggles out of the irradiated bottoms*

Oh yeah...that's better.... *the pants float off into the depths of space, containing the deadly explosion; but alas, this leaves DGG effectively pant-less*

*sighs* I better go find some pants before I go fighting again. It would be so embarrasing to have to fight pant-less.

OFF IN THE DISTANCE...

[Nelson]HA HA![/Nelson]

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-06-10 09:10pm

*Appears beside DGG.* Dude, that was hilarious, here are some pants man.

*Cyran waves his hands around, and a pair of pink pants with purple polka dots that are about 20 sizes to large appear on DGG.* There, perfect fit...

I think...