Dwarf Fortress: TallLabored Strikes the Earth! (sign ups)

[ShadowDragon8685]

I assigned you as one of the new goblin fodder, eh, I mean soldiers in the army.
There are actually quite a few unfilled positions.

Sweet! I'll drink tae that!

Though in truth, I wouldn't mind something a wee bit... Safer? Stone detailer/architect/brewer/cook/bookkeeper/mechanic/lever-puller or something, but goblin masher sounds like it might be fun, or at least Fun, too. What have you got me doing, in terms of weaponry?


Also, want a dorf in the fortress I'm running? It's been modded - they're Steel Dwarves, not normal dwarves, but nontheless the offer's open. Waddya want, the table's all yours.

[Crossroads Inc.]

A day in the life of PALE-LABORED!
Current population as well as showing what spots are open. This was right before I assigned Shadow Dragon to "Lolar
the Wrestler's spot.

[Crossroads Inc.]

Mini update. checking some of the Engravings in the Fortress have led to some interesting finds.


The Tempted Queen! A hint at the ruler of Tall Labored Trillian?


The Balls of Frothing! Not sure what to make of that.


The Mucous Whims! Proof that you do not mess with Clones of Archeologists!


The Ignoble Storm! Could Peptuck be an art critic? Finding the totem ignoble? '


The Gall of Throats! Proof you do not mess with Dwarfs in general!

[The Yosemite Bear]

I guess I'm the tamed grizzly bear, please train me, and let me maul some goblins or jackelmen?

[Crossroads Inc.]

Eventually I am planning on making a "Doom Pit" where captured goblins shall be dumped for the amusment of the Dwarfs. You are current the main star for the pit

[Crossroads Inc.]

*Bangs drum*
Attention Attention!
Citizens of Tall Labored!

A choice is coming and you must vote! What madness shall I next pursue on the agenda?

Constructing enough Ballista to cover every wall.
Construction of the Über Ünder city (something that shall be done eventually)
Construction of a mote around the valley.
Construction of the "heart of gold" using Dwarfish materials?
Begin boring down to the bottom in search of Hidden fun stuff.

[White Haven]

"Ballistas!" cried the ammunitiondwarf, in a spectacular display of lack of self-preservation.

You can dig down once the outside world is held at bay by an impenetrable network og huge freaking siege crossbows.

[ShadowDragon8685]

"A moat," cries the eager new goblin-mashing recruit, "With provisions to be filled with water and later drained to be filled with magma!"

[The Yosemite Bear]

elbow room roared the bear in the pit.

[The Vortex Empire]

"Build the Ballista lads! Once our citadel is secure we can dig as much as we like!"

[CaptainChewbacca]

Ballistas! Boom for the boom god!

[Crossroads Inc.]

((Short update now, in truth the below events happened almost immediately after the previous one, just didn't get to them till now.))

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The blood was still wet on the ground as Marvin the infinitely ancient android trudged out through the main gate. A mighty iron +Battle ax+ in his metallic hand, the android lopped off to complete the all-important mind-sapping task of felling tees. Behind him a series of heavily armed Dwarfs watched him go from the inside gate, kobold gore still on the ground.

“That be one seriously depressed golem”
“Can golems get depressed Mr. Bean?
“Nar, I’d never think so, but that one be right round the bend.
“Well hopefully nothing else happens to it, the last thing we need is a mad Golem on our hands Loomer spoke softly.

As if in accordance to universal laws of narrative, at that moment Ford Prefect, who had left the main gates just ahead of Marvin, felt an uneasy feeling that he was being followed. In a certain respect h was begin followed as he could see Marvin several paces behind him. But more to the point, he could see a distorted shimmering in the bushes next to him.

THIEF! PROTECT THE HORDE FROM THE SKULKING FILTH!!!!


“Fetid Photons! Not another one of you little things!” Ford shouted as he leapt back, The grey lizard like thing seemed to fade into existence as it ran jabbering from the resident of Betelgeuse.
“Marvin! Watch out there! It’s headed your way!” Ford yelled as the android looked up into the onrushing kobold. The android, as it so often was, seemed to give little care to the situation.

“I don’t really see why I should devote any of my vast intellect to this, the creature seems armed with only the crudest of weapons and, while my own body has been blasted, scorched shot at and partially melted, I can safely calculate that there is virtually no chance of tit inflecting any serious damage to me” the android said as it stood its ground against the on rushing Kobold.

The Kobold, having only narrowly missed being discovered by the horde of deadly armed dwarfs, flung himself full force at what looked like a drab metal man. The small dagger he had thrust out impacted hard into Marvin’s side. There was a ghastly silence as Marvin looked down, noting with some surprise that the knife had managed to push between the smallest of dents along his left side, The dagger had poked through the metal and had nicked, if only just, all of the diodes.

The pain was excruciating.

Marvin flung his arms out wildly, the Android giving a strange gurgling noise as sparks flew from the wound., ghis fist moving with the age of millennia, impacted with a sickening “Squelch” sound into the kobolds facer before the creature suddenly found itself momentarily airborne.


The last thing the kobold through as it fly into the air was “That Android can through Hell’a far!”


A moment later and crisis had past. Trillian and Arthur had run out to Marvin as soon as the noise had started and soon he seemed to have calmed down.
“How very strange, I would say it bothered me that I was responsible for its death, but I am far too depressed to consider it at the moment. The pain in all the diodes down my left side is worse then ever.

“Back to your old self then Marvin?” Arthur said sarcastically as Trillian gave him a punch on the shoulder.
“Do be nice Arthur, Marvin has saved our loves countless times after all, and we really should take better care of him,
“Or we could just melt him down for scrap, it would make me feel better” Ford said passing them by. “At least that’s over with at last.” He said foolishly.

Less then ten minutes later, Marvin in the middle of hewing down a mighty Oak brought his ax down not into a tree but the shimmering blur that had been a goblin snatcher trying to sneak by.

“SNATCHER! PROTECT THE CHILDERN!”

Marvin looked down at the still twitching leg of the goblin thief.
“Oh no not again. Really can’t you just leave us alone? It would make things easier for you to go away.” The Android said as he reached out to push the blood gushing goblin away from his work area. This he did with tremendous success, perhaps far more then anticipated.


Behind him, Arthur and Trillain watched in amazement.
“I don’t suppose we should worry about him? I mean he’s never hurt anyone before, aside from fatally depressing other people.
“Why should we have anything to worry about Arthur, haven’t you treated him well after all? Trillian said with a smirk leaving behind a very thoughtful Arthur Dent.

((NOTE: once again the above events all took place within about 4 "days" of each other. which means I had four kolbold thieves and one goblin thief in the span of about 15min of game play. Also I have to say I have not altered Marvins stats in any way, largely I would not know how to do so on my computer, but I will say both times I conscripted him to fight off the thieves, without any special action on my part he seemed able to fling them a good distance across the map. Clearly he is not to be trifled with.

[The Yosemite Bear]

shouldn't some dwarves be training me so that I could go outside and forage for grubs, honey, kobolds, fish, picknic baskets, goblins, berries, grass, canabis, beastmen, etc.

[Slacker]

I'm going to need protection from the carp.

[The Yosemite Bear]

I'm going to need protection from the carp.

my point exactly, a propper hunt/foraging bear would be able to help in fishing if trained, and would be able to claw and kill fish too.

[Crossroads Inc.]

As far as I know you can "assign" only dogs and war dogs to people. Since your are classified as a "pet" You spend much of your time chilling out at the Well and socializing. The most I can do for now is chain you near the front gate and hope more thieves blunder by.

[ShadowDragon8685]

"Sir, sir, just a quick suggestion," the possibly-irritating goblin-fodder recruit says, walking up with proper reverence, a sketched diagram drawn on a piece of sturdy cast-off wood in chalk. "If we just chain the bear at the entrance, the valiant furry defender of our fortress will be entirely at the mercy of the filth if they bring missile troops with them; as well, he will spot the cloaked bastards before they get close and they will flee, possibly to escape our just retribution. I had an idea that would allow our mighty bear to feast upon the heads of thieves and snatchers who make it through the gates unnoticed. It would require some modifications to the walls and road, though."

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"These are the splendorous gates of our fortress as they stand; as an edifice they are both beautiful and functional, containing a bridge which may be manipulated to shut out would-be invaders." The plucky little bastard stares up in awe at those very same gates, and takes in a breath. "However, they allow for any little green bastard who stands outside with a bow or crossbow to shoot straight through them, at anyone whom they might see. Here is what I propose, with all reverence."

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=         Diversionary road ->
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=  D B   =
=  D O   =
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D = Door
B = Bear
O = Other War Animal

"By creating a diversionary road that remains three square Urist wide as is required for the traverse of wagons and other official receptions (such as waves of migrants,) we may maintain a proper entry road. By ensuring that its' length is long and switchback, thus requiring that those who traverse it will take proper time to admire our masonry and our works, those who have no interest in such a reverence journey - such as our own work parties for whom efficiency is paramount, but also the beastly thieves who trouble us - will instinctively choose the shorter path, too small for wagons to pass and too blockaded by doors, as well." He gesticulates with his hands, mimicking the motions of something coming in through the gates and turning sharply to the side.

"By forcing this path to take a right angle turn, there is no line of fire for invading missile-men to shoot at our valiant chained defenders; and with a door in their faces, by the time they open the door, they will be within range for the bear to attack them. This will maximize the potential for our bear to do harm to those invaders, and minimize their opportunities to do harm to it." Forming a claw with his right hand, he pantomimes the comical sight of a bear chewing on a goblin's head - his left hand.

"It could be further enhanced as well," he mentions. "If, say, the doors on the bear-path are remotely locked - or even mechanically forced shut by means of some trigger such as a lever - even invaders and thieves would be forced to traverse the long path. If that long path had, say, a ballastae battery emplacement at the end, sufficiently far separated from the nearest point to which invaders might approach - say, ten, fifteen Urist or so - then our cowardly but willing siege engineers could rain Armok's spears upon the bastards with complete impunity! They could even be trapped within the killing zone by means of clever bridges; or, if you're averse to getting blood on the beautiful stonework, we could engineer the floor to be bridges which could drop the bastards into a killing pit where we could dispose of them by any means we see fit!"

Clearly excited now, he lets out a small, maniacal giggle as he pantomimes a goblin plummeting into a pit alongside some kind of wild beast which proceeds to tear it apart, or being scattered into pieces by the impact of a ballasta bolt.

[Crossroads Inc.]

From the Journal of Trisha Mc Millan, Mayor of TallLaborted

It has been over three weeks since the “invasion” of the small creatures the Dwarfs call ‘Kobolds’. While they have come up in the past, no one is sure why so many appeared on just one day. The Dwarf I have come to know as “DarkEvilMe and her forces have taken steps to sop the situation from happening in the future.

I can’t help but feel they have been a bit excessive, as they have begun constructing Dwarf sized siege engines and ballista with immense ion bolts. With the amount of important tasks at hand I questioned the use of any of our limited resources for such constructions. I would press the matter further but after asking an engineers, a CapyainChewy about the plan, the only response I got was “It is the Will of Amrok” and do not wish to push it further.



Mr.Bean meanwhile continues to push for Civic improvements and we have expanded the living facilities even further. I also have convinced the Dwarfs to make a more permanent trash disposal system (as opposed to the current method simply dumping garbage outside the fortress walls) by means of digging an opening over the magma vent we currently have utilized for the forges.

There was a bit of hesitation about using the “Blood of Armok” for simple garbage disposal, but after a series of creatures leapt from the pit and tried to attack, the Dwarfs have taken it in stride and now practice pelting the beasts with the trash. (more or less true after initially opening the garbage dump, the first Dwarfs down all fled under “Interrupted by fire Imp” till I sent DarkEvilMe and Crew down to dispatch them and shot them full of +iron bolts+)

Still we have continuous housing issue despite expansions. There have been more and more immigrants coming. Mr.Bean and Joviwam seem to be doing their best to get accomidations sorted out:

However Lintilla, Slartibartfast, Lintilla nad I have begun to plan out a more permanent settlement to be carved out in the base of the mountain. Based on my research into the Dwarf living arrangements and economic requirements of a population that may reach as high as 200 individuals.
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Another short update, mostly as after the kolbold invasion things seem to have settled down. Of course that means that the time from the next Ambush is most likely fast approaching.

[Master_Baerne]

If/when you need another dwarf, I'm volunteering...

[Crossroads Inc.]

Pick an open dwarf with a red line next to his name and let me know.

[PeZook]

Miners are usually the most hilarious, so sign me up!

[Crossroads Inc.]

Well my computer crashed hard recently and I may need a new hard drive. So needless to say now updates for a while.
In the mean time, I present the following challenge. Design a way to build "The heart of gold" using Dwarfish materials.

[PainRack]

Just a quick question... I been scanning the LP for several threads here and I noticed people like to group floors by function. So one entire floor would be bedrooms and etc and you seem to be following that trend.

May I ask why? Won't it be more efficient if one groups entire areas via groups of dwarves movement such as "farming sector with bedrooms and dining hall", "Metal sector with bedrooms" and etc? A dining hall would connect two different sectors together and be more "efficient".... won't it? Or is the movement up and down z level that much faster?

[PeZook]

I do it so that I can keep track of the facilities. I find it gets messy real quick if you make mixed sectors...I'm not sure if that's why Crossroads does it, though.

[ShadowDragon8685]

It's for ease of planning, personally. The only exception I've seen fit to make, so far, has been for the metalsmiths; since I had to dig all the way across the map and down fifty Z-levels to get to the magma and make the forges, I've been making private quarters for my master smiths on the same floor as the forges. They have a huge suite of three huge rooms each; a gigantic bedroom, a gigantic personal dining room, and a gigantic personal office with ensuite magma forge built out of platinum or something equally expensive and impressive.

I also made a gigantic dwarven "temple" as a meeting area with an all-magma-safe well incorporating a legendarily awesome artifact mechanisms set as a meeting place in the same area, and a food/booze stockpile a few floors up. Cave Adaptation is staved off because the old 2x2 up/down stairs were excavated down to the level of the boozehoard and made into a chimney; to get into or out of the magma forge areas you have to step on an "outdoor" tile.

But generally speaking, it's just plain flat easier to make the apartments in one area, the farms in another, the workshops over here, and so forth and so on. It may be less efficient, but it doesn't require as much meticulous planning and tedious micromanagement, either.